Title: Conjugal Visits
Subtitle:  French Kiss of Death
Series: A Battle Clan Diary




conAjuAgal (k¼n"j.-g.l, k.n-j>"-) adj.

1. Of or relating to marriage or the marital relationship.

[From Latin coniunx.]

-- con"juAgal"iAty n. -- con"juAgalAly adv. 1

This is a term used as an adjective to the visits inmates get from their spouses and significant others. Some guys don't get any visits but Philip "more bang for the buck" Perryman did not have that problem. Truly amazing was the only thing he could be called; Philip was a serial polygamist, seven wives in four deferent states, one American territory and one foreign country. As Regional Account Manager for a major Bio-waste disposal company Philip traveled 10 ½ months out of the year so he had an excuse for being absent for long stints. He even listed his wives on his contact sheet as vendor contact persons.



Like all criminals eventually he made a mistake; he had a wife in Haiti his 6th, named Giselle who he promised he would move to the U.S. and he did. Moving Giselle would have been no problem except for the fact that he moved her to Louisiana where his 7th wife Angelique lived. When Angelique found out about Giselle she immediately contacted the authorities and pressed charges. Once in custody Philips 5 other identities were not hard for police to discover because like a fool he liked to party hard and when partying too hard he would drink and drive or drink and get into fights then get into trouble with local police hence one set of prints matched several names. The rest was history, eventually the rest of the wives were contacted and charges were pressed by all.

His way with women however was remarkable, evidenced by his being able too get each and every one of them to drop the charges. Normally one would think that these women must be all the same type you know ghetto, country, uneducated, low IQ, coming from abusive homes. Notwithstanding none of these things were true about any of his wives. They were all well educated coming from good families, various ethnic make-ups and backgrounds. Having good careers, seemingly normal past relationships with no history of abuse in those relationships or at home. They all gave him money and turned over control of their worldly goods to him also. Philip was nothing to look at so it could not be his appearance we could only think he must have been a dynamo in the sack hence we at the police department in New Orleans nicknamed him "more bang for the buck".

Male police officers loved when his wives would come to visit because they were two exceptional looking ladies. Giselle the Haitian girl was the daughter of a diplomat she was a translator at the Haitian Consulate in Miami; the word that first comes to mind in describing her is class. Always the lady in the way she carried herself, polite, intelligent and poised the epitome of feminine grace. Giselle's frame was petite yet taut like a dancer in fact she studied ballet for many years. Her face was small blemishless and beautiful like that of a porcelain doll and her skin was a milk chocolate tone that made her look good enough to eat.

Angelique was an exotic Louisiana Creole her people were owners of several mortuaries in the New Orleans area. Dawning straight strawberry blond hair, light burgundy lips, large green eyes well sometimes blue and gray depending on what she was wearing. Angelique had a sun colored complexion, which revealed a vascular transparency upon a close examination. All this accompanied by her style and grace made being in her presence intoxicating. Having been a track athlete in her high school years Angelique's petite frame displayed a tight yet very feminine and lean musculature.

They were the same height and weight, similar bone structure and facial features; it seems our friend Mr. Perryman liked the same type of women with a few little twists.

I'm Lt. Commander Pierre LaFluer night commander of the Bourbon Street district sub station in New Orleans Louisiana. I guess the reason I am telling this story is that I feel guilty and have to talk to somebody. Ma Ma my mother's mother always told us never let your actions extend beyond your conscience. I wish I had listened to Ma Ma.

Philip was usually very careful about visitation with his two brides; Giselle would visit on Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays and Angelique would visit on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, neither on Sundays. Except one week both women missed a day and coincidentally thought to surprise him and make up their missed time on Sunday evening. Yep, same day, same time, entered into the computer at the exact same moment as Mrs. Philip Perryman and naturally our computer spit both entries out. Each intake officer who was handling their entries told them to wait; they were in the crowded guest area on opposite ends so the did not see each other at first. Officer's Tussaint and Boyer came to me after talking to one another; they asked what should be done. In retrospect I should have advised them to send both women away offering some excuse like illness or work their mutual husband had to perform but I didn't.

When I was little and got into mischief Ma Ma used to say I let old "Slew Foot" AKA The Devil get the best of me. I guess that was an apt description of what happened on that Sunday evening. I asked to see them both, they were escorted to my office as the two beauties stood before me huffing, puffing, sucking their teeth, shifting from folding their arms to placing their hands on their hips and cutting their eyes at one another I was thanking my lucky stars that I could behold such diverse sensuality.

"Officer I demand to see 'my husband' which is my right!" demanded Angelique.

"I was married to him first therefore my marriage is the legitimate one" insisted Giselle with her thick French/Creole accent simultaneously turning to face Angelique nose to nose.

"Ladies please, I don't want to have to lock you up now I'm sure you to can settle this like mature adults" I said in my sternest cop voice.

"What do you propose we do Officer? Asked Giselle.

"Yes what?" Snapped Angelique.

"Talk, come to some mutual arrangement". They turned away from each other rolling their eyes and folding their arms in defiance. "Ladies please, can't we be civil? Look I have a room where you will not be disturbed and you two settle it and then come out and let me know what compromise you have come to. Having been a cop for over 15 years I know human nature well enough to know who should or should not be left in a room alone and these two should not have been.

But the Devil was in charge so I had them placed in an empty observation room; the room had no furniture only a one way mirror and four surveillance cameras in each upper corner. The door could only be opened from the outside or with a key from the inside. From time to time if a good fight occurred between female inmates or between a female guard and a female inmate we would make tapes to send to the Battle Clan in Houston for a little extra cash and for our own pleasure. Why I thought I do that with two visitors, well I must have been outa' my head!

Well anyway it went like this; they entered the room Giselle leading and when the door closed Angelique began to speak, "Look B!%@#! You might as well take your foreign @$$! Home"...WACK! Giselle turned about delivering a devastating backhand across Angelique's lips all the way from Haiti. Angelique yelped like a hurt puppy as her head snapped to the right turning her body then her left knee buckled beneath her. Her eyes and face turned beet red as blood leaked from her precious little mouth and she covered it with her hands.

By this time the Haitian beauty was on her grabbing a had full of her red hair and cursing her in French, "Maintenant je vous montrerai que la vraie femme est whore de gouttiPre" (Now I will show you who the real wife is gutter whore) then she spat in Angelique's face repeatedly. Angelique's response was swift and decisive she drove her left elbow into Giselle's solar plexus then arose to her feet delivering an uppercut to Giselle's chin toppling her backward and to the deck with a thud. With the speed of a sprinter Angelique rushed toward her downed foe shedding shoes, ear rings and her purse then she took to the air like Dominique Dawes performing a somersault and landing on Giselle's abdomen. "Uuhhhhhahhh!"

Angelique landed butt first placing her in seated position feet flat on the deck her knees upward and her lovely cheeks exposed because of her short skirt riding up to her waist also revealing her Frederick's G-string undies. Giselle's breath left her body evident by her bulging eyes raised upper torso and wide opened yet silent mouth. Angelique grabbed a hand full of Giselle's' sable tress and proceeded to bloody her face with repeated punches. Giselle was dazed and helpless as the mid-south vixen stood straddling her still gripping her hair and cursing in French, "Maintenant quelle Chienne? Que! Que!? Je'm gonna' pele votre âne noir! Comme uncopuler de mPre de raisin! (Now what B1%@#!? What! What!? I'm gonna' peel your black @$$! Like a grape Mutha F()@%KA!)

It seemed at this point that Giselle was finished but suddenly she rammed her knuckles into Angelique's crotch causing her to scream, "AAAeeeeeaahahhh!"

Then Angelique fell over holding her self and trying to crawl away from the source of her agony.

The fact that the golden beauty was hurt seemed to give Giselle new life she crawled after Angelique like a predator after it's prey and climbed up her back growling as she mounted her. "And now I will finish you half white whore!" she proclaimed coiling her arms about Angelique's neck and her legs about her waist locking on a suffocating grapevine hold. As we watched, me from my office and my staff from behind the one way mirror we all thought it was over but Giselle made a foolish blunder. "Je veux que ma face pour ait été la derniPre chose vous voyez avant que vous fermez vos yeux vous chienne de copuler (I want my face to be the last thing you see before you close your eyes you f()@%ing b!%@#!) was saying this as the struggle moved toward the wall. Giselle released her choke and scissors holds to turn Angelique on her back so that she could face her for the coupe de Gras. By this time their clothing were ripped to schreds breasts and behinds fully exposed hair matted and mingled
  with sweat and blood sweat and their nearly nude feminine frames scared and sweat soaked, pert battle hard nipples heaving and their six packs displaying every muscular striation.

Giselle's change in position was a tactical error though she had her leg firmly planted between Angelique's chin and upper chest pinning the back of her head to the wall with her opposite leg pinning Angelique's left arm to the floor. Angelique's long supple and sexy legs were free and she made good use of them. Angelique contorted her lower half upward extending her legs to reach Giselle's head and with the speed of twin python's wrapping them about Giselle's head and left arm for a triangle choke then quickly grabbing her own ankle for the lock. "MMmmmmmm!" was all we heard from Giselle as she slowly succumbed her arteries constricted he face buried in Angelique's crotch. Angelique had the last word; "Maintenant la Chienne! Comment sent-il l'houe!, huh? Ceci est quels besoins de Philip, huh familier? Ceci est le parfum vous sentez et le parfum vous goftez quand vous Ltes sur vous les genoux avant lui (Now B!%@#! How does it feel h@#!, huh? This is what Philip wants, familiar huh?
  This is the fragrance you smell and the flavor you taste when you are on you knees before him).

Giselle's belly now distended and her lower half was stretched out behind her, her right hand was desperately clawing trying to free herself from the grip of Angelique's mighty thigh lock. Angelique's hold was perfect; she had her left thigh just under Giselle's left jaw the rest of her leg viced the right side of Giselle's neck was cinched at the ankle this was all balanced on the ball of her right foot within her sexy glutei trembling with power. Angelique's right leg was secured by gripping her right ankle and with her fist full of the brown bombshell's hair. At the end Giselle's taut annular perspiration glazed and hunching rump dissipated into a faint quiver.

Knowing it was over and that Angelique would not release her until this conflict became a homicide we rushed in to break it up. It took four of my biggest officers to pry Angelique's leg hold off of the fallen Giselle, Angelique was still cusin' and spttin' in French as we peeled her off the little Haitian girl.

The tape was sent to the Battle Clan for reproduction and distribution but the proceeds are going to pay for my trail lawyer; oh both women pressed charges, I lost my pension, my wife left me and I'm writing this from a jail cell, funny ain't it?

Still all in all it was the most magnificent catfight match I had ever witnessed.

Although for my career and personal life it was the French Kiss of Death.

Pierre LaFluer

Deacon