My Wife Vs. "The Polish Princess"

by T. Trolley

My wife's (referred to here as Double J due to her real-life initials) biggest antagonist in real life is someone she refers to derisively as "The Polish Princess" who was her opponent in several matches she related to me. The Princess and my wife were both department heads at the same company, but my wife always disliked her for the way she would stick her nose into her department and try to make trouble while sporting an arrogant, bossy attitude in dealing with other employees. Thus, there was a natural rivalry there. One thing led to another and they found themselves in the ring facing each other.

The Polish Princess was the spitting image of Meryl Streep while my wife looked like the older but gorgeous Pauline Collins, the woman who played the wisecracking English housewife in the movie "Shirley Valentine" in 1989. Below is my wife's actual description in her own words relating how two matches against "She Who Must Be Obeyed" went. The actual rivalry spanned from their first match in January of 1991 through their final encounter in December of 1993, which is described in her own words here as well.

Match of the Month: Double J vs. The Polish Princess

Double J and The Polish Princess have been heading for war in the ring for many months now. Skirmish after skirmish at the workplace had taken place, causing Double J to call for all-out war in the ring!

Her worthy opponent, who is trained in wartime strategy but is obviously a novice in actual combat, agreed to Double J's challenge for a round on the mat to settle these differences once and for all!

The match would be a winner-take-all stakes battle where the victor would head up all departments at their company. The two opponents agreed that because their company was the prize at stake that the match would take place on neutral ground rather than Houston -- the place where their company was located. Therefore, arrangements were made so that the bout would take place at the Moody Civic Center in Galveston, Texas on Jan. 19, 1991 at 9 p.m. CST!

Wrestling fans from all over Galveston County, not to mention an entourage from their workplace in Houston, came to enjoy what would turn out to be the best action in months at the Moody Civic Center as Double J took on The Polish Princess in a battle of not only strength but will. The two female wrestlers gave a new meaning to the word "cat fight" by the time the action concluded.

In an interview with Double J before the match, a reporter told her what she thought about being the decided underdog to the taller and younger Princess. Double J responded, "Although at first appearance The Polish Princess looks like she is in good physical shape, the truth is she actually has no real strength at all. Her only exercise comes in the form of polka dancing once a week. Not a rigorous workout to be sure! Any strength she might have in the ring would only be mental and that coming in the form of short-sighted `knee jerk' reactions to any of her opponent's planned moves. `She Who Must Be Obeyed' needs to listen up to seasoned veterans of the ring when they advised her recently to `go back to the corner or, better yet, get out of the ring until the strength in your body matches the strength in your voice when you begin giving orders!'

"As for me, I've taken on a new manager in the form of J.C. this month and have committed myself to become the best wrestler of my kind in six months time. My manager has ordered me to lose weight and has me on a new training program designed to strengthen not only my body but my sould, mind and spirit for strategy purposes. I will be starting yet another exercise regimen shortly. My goal is to get down to 147 pounds and, at that goal, I should be able to outmaneuver any opponent who comes my way."

Double J entered the ring ready for her first physical battle with The Polish Princess! The audience could sense the adrenaline flowing though Double J's body as she pacd around the ring like a tiger in a cage, waiting for fresh meat in the form of the Polish Princess to arrive!

Suddenly, The Polish Princess marched up the aisle wearing a tiger-print bikini and swung her lean body into the ring. The crowd sensed the tension in the air between these two grapplers -- tension that had been building for months on end.

The bell rang and finally the two would find out who was the best! The two circled around each other. All of a sudden, The Princess made the first move, charging at Double J's body with her head down like a bull in an attempt to ram her with her head on the run to the belly! But this turned out to be a big mistake for the attractive princess because Double J had ample opportunity to not only pull her long, streaked hair but also push the Princess down to the mat and onto her stomach!

Double J seized the moment to jump on ther back and grabbed her head to pull it back in a camel clutch to weaken her opponent! The Princess began screaming in pain to which Double J asked if she was already willing to submit!

The Princess replied, "No way!" and began to show surprising strength, pushing herself off the mat with her strong arms to throw Double J off balance and backwards onto the mat!

Quickly the Polish Princess jumped to her feet and ran to the ropes, bounced off as Double J got up and came back at Double J with a flying elbow drop to the upper chest! Double J fell to the mat and writhed in pain as for the first time Double J felt what it was like to be on the wrong end of her opponent's ire!

The Polish Princess quickly fell to one knee, pulled Double J up to a seated position by the hair, and then wrapped her long, strong left arm around Double J's throat in a sleeper hold!

For a moment, it looked like The Princess had Double J trapped and would send her into dreamland to win the important match! But suddenly, Double J pushed her strong legs up until they scissored around head of the Princess and squeezed until the Princess released her hold! Then Double J's legs continued to move up like a boa constrictor until she had scissored the Princess around the neck!

The Princess, however, slipped out of the grip by somersaulting over and then immediately tried to schoolgirl pin a surprised Double J into submission! Double J, however, quickly pushed her off and the two women jumped back to her feet!

With a new determined look in her eye, Double J bounced off the rope and came at the Princess with a flying drop kick! The Princess took the blow right in the stomach and fell down to the mat on her knees, holding her belly and doubled over in pain! Double J seized the opportunity to jump on her, roll her to her back and trap her in a painful cradle leg split, scissoring The Princess's long, lean left leg while cradling the other, jamming it up with all her strength and putting tremendous pressure on the upper thigh tendons and groin area of the Princess!

The ref got in position and began to count the Princess's shoulders down! He reached two before The Princess, with a grimace on her face, used all her strength to buck out of the hold! But Double J was quick to flip the Princess over onto her stomach! Double J then sat on her opponent's round buttocks and clutched the calves of the Princess before moving her hands down to her ankles. Then in a surprise move, she twisted the ankles of the Princess almost into a knot!

The audience thought for sure that Double J would move into the standard Boston Crab finisher, but Double J knew, if she could weaken the Princess's ankles and lower legs, she could force a submission from the Princess and beat her once and for all!

So Double J, in a show of superior technique, managed to get her knee to hold the knot where the twisted ankles came together and then reached over to the Princess's upper body! She then grabbed The Princess in a headlock with her strong arms and squeezed with all her might as her left knee dug into the ankles of The Princess's trapped legs -- putting tremendous pressure on the small ankles of the attractive woman!

The intense pain showed on the Princess's beautiful face, not to mention the humiliation of being put in a submission hold in a superior show of strength and technique by her hated rival! After a few minutes of this double torture to her ankles and head, The Polish Princess had no choice but to repeatedly slap her right hand on the mat and tap out, submitting to Double J!

The crowd roared in delight at watching The Polish Princess submit to Double J! Double J stood up with hands raised in victory over the Princess, who still lay on her stomach with her pretty face buried in her arms on the mat, not moving her ankles due to the pain and the concern that Double J may have broken them!

Nobody thought that The Polish Princess would ever submit to Double J, seeing that the stakes of the match were so high. But Double J had surprised everyone in attendance -- especially The Princess -- by coming up with a makeshift hold that absolutely devastated her gorgeous opponent and in the process humiliating and embarrasing her by forcing her to submit in front of all her co-workers as well as her husband!

As for Double J, she had proven that she was indeed physically better and stronger than The Polish Princess and literally forced The Princess herself to publicly admit to that fact! Double J had proven that The Princess's fit appearance was all a mirage and that her lean frame had less physical strength in it than even the Princess had thought. Throughout the match, Double J took the initiative over the beautiful Princess and forced her to do exactly what Double J thought she would do -- simply react to her offensive moves in a defensive fashion rather than put together a major offense herself.

Rematch -- Double J vs. The Polish Princess at the Galveston Civic Center -- Jan. 15, 1992 -- Catfight I Quit Match

Double J, after forcing The Polish Princess to submit to her almost a year ago, wanted to assert her authority even more over The Princess and -- with her confidence still sky-high after her big victory in the same city -- challenged The Princess once again to a Catfight I Quit Match in Galveston!

The Princess at first thought Double J was joking but then accepted -- wanting desperatelyto gain vengeance for her humiliation at the hands of Double J!

Double J invited her new husband to the match so he could watch her dismantle The Polish Princess once again. Double J would wear a yellow swimsuit while the Princess again would wear her tigress bikini.

The bell rang and an assertive, confident Double J quickly went for the Princess's long hair! The Princess screamed in fright and Double J went on to completely dominate her adversary easily for the next five minutes. Meanwhile, Double J's husband looked on proudly, confident that his new bride once again would prove herself to be the better and stronger woman.

But this was a catfight, unlike the last match between the two. And the key word for a catfight is "vicious." That's exactly what The Princess became as she felt the fight slip away from her! The Princess, in fact, just out and out "lost her cool" after having been yanked around by the hair, having her body squeezed in body scissors and bearhugs by Double J as well as belly claws, having her face scratched unceremoniously in catfight fashion and being punched and placed in several schoolgirl pin positions where the ref asked for her to submit to Janis!

Double J was indeed very much in command of this catfight until, as the two women rolled around on the mat, The Princess simply exploded in a shriek of anger and trapped Double J's face in her right hand with a face claw!

For the first time ever against The Polish Princess, Double J let out a cry of pain! The Polish Princess heard it and knew she had hurt Janis seriously! The Princess quickly sat up with Double J's face trapped in her right hand! Quickly, she moved her fingers around Double J's temples and squeezed with all her might!

Double J's husband stood up as his wife screamed and her legs kicked out! The Polish Princess had his wife in a head claw and was really bearing down on the hold! Now his wife's screams were becoming more frequent and were so piercing that they sounded like shrieks coming from a trapped animal!

As The Polish Princess put the final touches on his wife, Double J's shocked husband awaited something he never thought would happen -- his wife to signal her submission to The Princess! In fact, as his gorgeous wife kicked and shrieked in pain as The Princess slipped her left hand beneath Double J's head to keep it steady so she could direct all of her squeezing power into his wife's temples, Double J's husband actually hoped his wife would submit sooner rather than later since it was evident that his wife would not escape the iron grip of the Princess and it was useless for her to endure anymore pain!

Double J's husband watched his wife hopelessly wriggle as The Polish Princess finished off his mate. He never had expected his wife to lose, let alone submit or even worse be forced into unconsciousness in a fair fight against another woman -- especially a woman his wife had so soundly defeated a year ago! Of course, neither did his wife! But that's exactly what was about to happen!

Double J had dominated the fight earlier but her failure to put The Polish Princess away had cost her -- and cost her dearly! The beating Double J had given the Princess earlier had only served to bring out the fighting spirit of "She Who Must Be Obeyed!" And in fact, it was Double J who was literally being forced to obey the power of the dreaded head claw as Double J's husband watched his wife bow to the power of The Princess!

The slender fingers of the Princess now dug deeply into the temples of Double J. The hands of the Princess were surprisingly strong as evidenced by the moans of pain coming from Double J! Plus, The Princess had long fingernails that were adding to the effectiveness of the hold!

Double J's husband watched his desperate wife try to use both hands to pull The Princess's hand from her head! But, unfortunately for his wife, the effectiveness of the head claw had begun immediately as it had quickly sapped his wife's strength -- actually leaving The Princess's one hand more powerful than both of his wife's arms!

Double J's husband watched his wife's hands and arms limply fall to the mat like dead weights! Now Double J began to feel woozy as the powerful, crushing head claw took its full effect on her!

As Double J began to black out at the hands of her nemesis, she realized that she would indeed lose the catfight match as her husband watched. Now, the only alternatives Double J had before her were to publicly submit to her arch nemesis and humiliate herself in front of her husband or let the head claw take its course and be knocked out by it in front of everybody. But soon, the pain had overwhelmed all of her thoughts and wooziness began to take greater and greater control of her!

Meanwhile, the Princess continued to clamp on her debilitating head claw on Double J -- finishing her off! The referee, noticing Double J wasn't offering a defense, quickly moved in to see if Double J was ready to submit!

Double J's husband watched The Princess shake his wife with one hand like a rag doll while she crushed her singlehandedly into unconsciousness as he saw his wife succumb to the overpowering head claw of The Princess!

Since it was an I Quit Match, the ref held the mike up to Double J's lips so everyone in the civic center could hear her submission as The Princess continued to dig her fingernails deep into the temples of Double J!

Finally, Double J could take no more. She knew that she was helpless in The Princess's grasp -- and there was no escape! It was either submit or pass out. Double J decided submitting was the best way to go!

As Double J's husband looked on, Double J finally whispered into the mike, "OK, no more. I give up! I submit to you, Princess!"

There it was! Double J's husband had just heard his wife so reduced to helplessness that she was forced to admit another woman was better and stronger than her! He never had expected to hear those words of submission come from his wife's lips! He could accept seeing her get pinned, but to see his wife reduced to submitting to another woman in a fair fight was shocking to him!

The Polish Princess held the hold for just a few seconds longer as the ref called for the bell -- just long enough to send Double J into unconsciousness! Her work now complete, The Polish Princess ripped her killer hand from the temples of the unconscious Double J, who now lay completely still on the mat courtesy of the Polish Princess's head claw!

To add salt to the wound, the Polish Princess put her right foot on the chest of the KOed Double J as the referee raised her hand in victory as the ring announcer said, "Your winner, with a shockingly powerful head claw on Double J -- The Polish Princess!"

Double J's husband watched as the crowd cheered his wife's horrible defeat. His wife lay completely unconscious beneath the foot of her conqueror like a defeated gladiatoress in the Roman coliseum! He had come to share in his wife's victory but instead he had witnessed her succumb in convincing defeat to her more powerful foe.

Double J and parnter vs. The Polish Princess and partner -- Dec. 17, 1993 -- Tag Team Tornado Match

The Polish Princess had defeated Double J in two matches following her convincing vengeance victory in Galveston, getting her to submit to a crushing head scissors and later KOing her with a choke sleeper.

Before she and her partner were to face The Polish Princess and her partner, Double J told her husband, "I realize now after she made me give up to her head scissors that The Princess has very strong legs. That's for sure. Her upper body strength isn't very good. She's weak there. But she has very strong legs. I know when I wrestle her this time I'll have the advantage mentally but I honestly wonder if I have it physically."

But physically is where it counted in this tag team tornado match. And when the Princess got Double J out on the mats one more time, it was curtains for Double J once again as she was to feel the power of The Princess's calves and legs squeeze her head!

Once the tornado tag team match began, Double J and The Princess were going at it with each other. Double J had The Princess in control, with the help of her partner who turned out to be her 23-year-old daughter. But as Double J took control of The Princess with a sleeper hold, she ordered her daughter to take care of The Princess's partner so she could set The Princess up for the kill.

And that's when Double J's whole world collapsed! The Princess escaped from the sleeper and put Double J in the head claw! Fear struck Double J as she recalled what happened the last time she got caught in a Princess head claw and she collapsed!

The Princess then lept atop Double J and went for a cross body smother pin, hoping to force Double J to submit once again! Double J got away, but suddenly The Princess's strong legs snaked around the waist of Double J! The Princess locked her ankles -- and squeezed!

Double J fell to her back as The Princess crushed her. After the match, Double J said about being trapped in this scissors, "Even though I talked about that scissors, I really forgot how strong The Princess was. She has very strong legs!"

And The Princess just crushed Double J with those powerful legs! Double J lay on her back, trying to get away but The Princess had her and was really squeezing Double J!

Double J began to look at her husband with a worried look. She later admitted about this phase of the match that she thought, "Oh, no! I've worked so hard against The Princess and now she's got me! It would be terrible to have to give up when I encouraged this match."

By now, The Princess's legs were like a boa constrictor wrapped tightly around Double J's waist -- crushing her!

Then the Princess twisted onto her side, and that sealed Double J's fate. The Princess "squeezed the life" out of Double J! Double J just lay there, moaning as she began to consider giving up! Her big blue eyes fluttered shut as she gasped for air that was just not there for her!

Then the Princess, as quick as a cat, cradled Double J and just held her there! Double J knew that she was trapped and that the Princess had her! There was no fight left in Double J now. She was exhausted and beaten!

The crowd grew quiet as they got to see The Princess hold up and display Double J's thighs in triumph!

The Princess continued to hold Double J in the cradle as Double J was caught in her trap! Double J finally whimpered, "Princess, I'm going to have to give up! You've got me trapped and you're just too strong for me! I forgot how strong you really are!"