"Real Road Rage and Rescue"

by T. Trolley

Teresa, my 32 year-old, gorgeous, 5-2 and a quarter, 145 lb. green-eyed brunette girlfriend, was driving down the street with me in the passenger's seat. She was a little bit edgy because she hadn't had a cigarette in awhile. The beautiful 40DD Dolly Parton lookalike from the neck down reached to get her pack of cigarettes on the dashboard as we approached an intersection. The light was in the process of turning red and so she proceeded through the intersection when suddenly -- it happened.

I felt a huge jolt coming from my right that shook the entire car as it made a loud, strange noise. Teresa yelled, "What the ..." and the car came to a sudden halt!

We had just been hit on the fender of the passenger's side of our car by another vehicle coming into the same intersection! Teresa immediately checked to see if I was all right. I was a little shook up, but OK.

I then saw Teresa glare at the automobile that hit us and I could see the anger come out of her eyes. She quickly said, "You stay here -- I'll take care of this!"

I was still somewhat dazed and assumed that Teresa was going to simply get out of the car and exchange information with the other driver.

But, you see, Teresa is no ordinary woman.

Early in our relationship, she told me of her physical fighting ability and exploits -- long before I told her what a "turn-on" that kind of thing was for me. She told me she was "strong for a woman" and "loved to rough house."

She came from a somewhat rough background, growing up in the working class, blue collar town of Hazel Park, a suburb of Detroit. Teresa's attitude and fighting skills were honed while in the survival mode growing up. She had been in lots of fights in her past as she was a former girl streetgang leader. She also had lots of fights against other girls in her school and often went to other schools to look for more girls to fight. She had no fears of getting into fights with other girls and, in fact, she sought them out!

She was streetwise and knew how to take care of herself but was still the ultimate in femininity. She said she had a motto when it came to fighting, which was, "I may be a runt, but by the time I'm done with you you'll know I

was there." She was an avid NRA member and was one of those people who could give a person a glare that, if looks could kill, would have slain the person on the spot.

And it was that same glare that I saw on her face as she left the car.

At that time, I was too woozy to realize what might occur. In fact, I didn't even give it a thought. As I looked out the window, I saw that the driver of the other car was the spitting image of a "Dallas" Victoria Principal -- an actress Teresa hated, by the way. Her brown hair was shoulder length and she couldn't have weighed too much over 115 lbs. She was about 5-6 and was wearing a white tank top and purple shorts with tennis shoes while Teresa was wearing a beige halter top and red hot pants as well as white sneakers.

So picture this -- A brunette Dolly Parton lookalike wearing red hot pants and a beige halter top getting out of her car in a fit of anger about to approach the spitting image of Victoria Principal wearing a white tank top and shorts.

Due to my scrambled senses, I couldn't immediately appreciate what I was seeing. But it didn't take me long to realize what I was about to experience.

Both women got out of their cars and slammed the doors at about the same time. Then I realized it. As Teresa came toward the other driver, I noticed the fire in my girlfriend eyes. Teresa was ticked -- and so was the other driver!

The two women screamed profanity as they approached each other. Immediately I realized that they did not have exchanging insurance information in mind! The way they were screaming and shouting and filling the air with profanity, I realized that it was very possible that these two angry women were in such an angry state that the tensions could easily boil over and the two females could very well actually come to blows!

"Victoria" was in better physical shape than Teresa but not nearly as heavy and didn't look like she had the fighting background Teresa had, so Teresa wasn't intimidated by her superiior height and got right up in her face, screaming at her. Victoria screamed back and then, deciding that Teresa was too close for comfort, used both hands to push her away!

"Oh boy, she shouldn't have done that!" I thought. Teresa stumbled back a few steps, then stopped. She glared at Victoria for a second, obviously sizing her up for what she was about to get into, and then -- wham! Teresa threw a punch right into Victoria's chest! Victoria, caught by surprise, groaned loudly and retreated a few steps -- and the street brawl was on!

Victoria may have been caught by surprise, but it was no surprise that argument had exploded into an exchange of blows. Victoria obviously knew earlier that a fight was possible and this became clear in her response. Victoria's face showed pain and a little bit of fear, but also a sense of ferociousness, viciousness and savagery as Teresa moved in for the kill!

Teresa hit Victoria in the side with another roundhouse right. I heard Victoria go, "Uhhh!!" as the punch thudded into her ribs as she turned away. But then she turned toward Teresa and grabbed her by the hair with both hands! She pulled with the same momentum that Teresa came at her with and then stuck out her foot! Teresa tripped and fell to all fours!

Then, to my surprise, Victoria began to kick Teresa in the ribs and stomp on my girlfriend with her right foot as she got up! It didn't seem to hurt Teresa much, but she did become even more infuriated as well as concerned that Victoria might hurt her.

This concern over getting hurt and Victoria's willingness to fight back seemingly inspired Teresa as she entered the battle with even more fury than before! Punches from Teresa came from all over, hitting Victoria in the body! The onslaught caught Victoria by surprise and she backed up with a look of fear in her face as she dropped her arms down to cover her body!

Teresa kept moving forward, pressing her advantage, until suddenly Victoria moved to the side and kneed my Teresa right in the stomach! I heard Teresa groan and then double over, grabbing her belly almost instinctively with her right hand for just a moment! But that one moment is all Victoria needed! As Teresa began to straighten up, Victoria wasted no time in grabbing my Teresa by the hair with both hands and trying to swing her around and throw her to the ground!

Victoria only succeeded in moving her a few steps, though, as she just wasn't strong enough to move my heavier girlfriend when she didn't want to be moved. But I could tell the tugging on her hair by Victoria was giving my Teresa a great deal of discomfort!

That being the case, Teresa dug her fingers into Victoria's hair. But, to my surprise, it looked like Victoria had the advantage as she loomed over Teresa with her height advantage as Teresa was just standing there, trying to not get thrown onto the hard asphalt of the street!

The women were now behind Victoria's car, locked in a hairpulling tussle in which Victoria was trying with all her might to somehow get Teresa to the ground again! But suddenly my little Teresa wrapped her left arm around Victoria's head in a headlock! Victoria followed suit, though, and now the smaller Teresa found herself at a leverage disadvantage in the battle of the headlocks!

Again, Victoria tried to twist Teresa around and throw her to the street, but Teresa refused to go anywhere! Pretty soon, Teresa was able to use her fighting experience to bend the squealing Victoria down far enough to where the women were just about even in the headlock battle! Suddenly a quick turn by Teresa and she had actually put the taller girl underneath her on the asphalt behind her car!

I could hear the grunts and squeaks of effort and the gasps for air as both women still held tightly to their headlocks. Teresa did have the advantage, but both women were trembling due to the amount of pressure their opponents were putting on their heads with those headlocks! Victoria began to move her legs slowly, trying to use them to change the leverage situation. But Teresa was holding on tightly and you could see Victoria begin to blink her eyes in fear, pain and torment!

Teresa kept grinding away on that headlock until Victoria's grip on her headlock weakened. Then Teresa pulled away from Victoria's grasp and pinned Victoria on the street by the wrists! Teresa's knees were still low on Victoria's body and she was leaning over to pin her, so Veronica's attempts at using her legs to pull Teresa off her were in vain!

Suddenly, Teresa grabbed Victoria by the hair with both hands and hit her head twice hard against the asphalt street! A look of absolute fear, disbelief and pain crossed Victoria's face as she felt the agony in the back of her skull and realized that she was in real danger of being hurt!

Her arms now free, Victoria quickly used her hands to push underneath Teresa's chin! Victoria slowly forced Teresa's face up toward the sky! Teresa's eyes were squinting in pain as Victoria's strong arms were too much for her little neck to resist! Then suddenly up came Victoria's long, lean legs and wrapped around Teresa's head, pulling her off her and to the street!

The back of Teresa's head hit the asphalt hard and she just lay there, stunned! She reached for the back of her head as she lay there, almost motionless! Of course, Victoria didn't waste any time whatsoever to take advantage of Teresa's condition and went after her like a soldier who had his opponent at a disadvantage in a hand-to-hand combat struggle to the death!

Victoria grabbed Teresa by the hair as she lept on Teresa's chest! She then began to beat the back of Teresa's head against the asphalt once. Then she did it again, quickly! Then again! And again!

I suddenly realized that my Teresa was in danger of getting seriously hurt! I was shocked as I watched, frozen in astonishment, as Victoria kept banging the back of my girlfriend's head against the asphalt! I then realized, to my utter amazement -- that my Teresa had been knocked out by this Victoria Principal lookalike who had turned into a madwoman! And still, she kept hitting the back of Teresa's head against the street!

I got out of the car to save my beloved princess. But as I did, Victoria realized that she had knocked out Teresa and stopped beating her head against the street! And it was a good thing, too, because she was close to seriously hurting Teresa and possibly doing much more damage than just knocking her out or a mere concussion!

But her cessation of knocking my girlfriend's head against the street, to my consternation, did not mean Victoria was finished with her. Not by a longshot! Before I could get over to Teresa, Victoria grabbed my helpless, unconscious Teresa with both hands around her throat and started to choke here! Just as I came to Teresa's rescue, Victoria was squeezing her throat so hard that my girlfriend was trembling! She then tried to hit Teresa's head on the street again, but only got to do it once before I got there and broke it up.

By that time, a crowd had developed but none of them had tried to stop the fight as they didn't want to get involved in a fight that ferocious. Somebody restrained Victoria from further attacking my girlfriend as I carefully picked up my unconscious woman and carried her off to the side, where I laid her down and looked down at her closed eyes!

I really wondered for a moment if Victoria had actually killed Teresa with her bare hands! The concept of Teresa seriously injured or even killed at the hands of another woman in a streetfight like this was incomprehensible to me since Teresa in my mind was so tough and strong and, as far as I was concerned, impervious and indestructible when it came to fighting other women.

But as I looked down at my unconscious Teresa's face, I couldn't deny reality. Teresa had gotten into a streetfight with another woman who was almost 30 pounds lighter than she was and Teresa got her butt kicked -- perhaps even worse! I looked over at Victoria and she was still yelling and screaming at my Teresa as she was being restrained by several onlookers, screaming, "Let me go! I'm not finished with her yet!"

Maybe Victoria didn't think she had finished off my Teresa, but from what I saw, she had done a pretty good job of it. Just as I thought that Teresa would need an ambulance, my cute girlfriend began to stir. She moaned and slowly put her right hand to the back of her head. I softly said, "Take it easy, darling. I think you've been hurt pretty bad."

Teresa was just barely conscious. Her eyes opened slightly and looked at me, then slowly closed in comfort -- as though she wanted to make sure it wasn't Victoria about to bounce her head against the pavement like a basketball again.

An ambulance came and they put Teresa on a gurney and took her to the hospital. I was in the back of the ambulance with her as the EMT's asked me about the injuries. I ended up telling them that Teresa wasn't hurt in the accident but was hurt during the road rage fight against Victoria.

One of the EMT's said, as he examined the back of Teresa's head very gingerly, "Yeah, I heard there was a big fight from someone at the accident. He said your girlfriend really got the worst of it. In fact, I noticed the other woman didn't seem to be hurt too badly."

I agreed with his assessment, but still couldn't believe that I was acknowledging that my girlfriend -- whom I always admired as a female combatant -- had been not only bested in a fair fight but had been seriously hurt in the process.

A female EMT looking at Teresa said, "It looks like your girlfriend took quite a beating in that fight. It's a good thing you got to her when you did. I don't think any woman could have taken too much more punishment than this and survive."

The EMT was right. Teresa did take a beating and could have been seriously hurt by Victoria if I didn't save her. But saying that implied that my Teresa had lost the fight to Victoria. And to say that and hang an embarrassment upon my girlfriend like that hardly seemed fair. It just didn't seem right that Teresa had met her fate in this fashion. After all, Teresa was winning the fight until Victoria pulled her off her with her legs and caused Teresa to hit the back of her head on the hard asphalt. It just seemed like such a lucky move. After all, it was my Teresa who had dominated the fight from the start. True, Victoria did get a good lick in or two. But Teresa was well on her way to putting Victoria away when Victoria just got plain lucky and pulled Teresa off her, causing Teresa to crack her skull on the street.

But then again, it was Victoria's leg strength that did the job. She just didn't pull her off to her back. The fight had become so vicious, so savage and so fierce that Veronica had to counter Teresa somehow, someway and that move -- lucky as it seemed -- ended up turning the whole fight around and allowed her to knock out my Teresa.

Teresa just barely avoided severe cranial damage -- thanks to me. In fact, the doctors told me that if she would have sustained a couple more bumps on the pavement like she did, she could have had severe cranial injuries that might have affected her motor skills and mental functions! I apparently got to her just in time and was able to limit the injury to a severe concussion -- if you want to call that "limited."