by T. Trolley

There was always something about Sue. I knew that from the day I first laid eyes on her and we began dating while we were in college. I knew it when I first asked her about getting involved in women's wrestling. Yet, even though I knew she had something special, I wasn't really sure what it was.

It took me awhile to find out. But once I found out what it was, it was like discovering buried treasure.

What Sue had was very rare. No, it wasn't her figure. Yes, she did have a good, Marie-Osmond like look as she was 5-5, 117 lbs. and 18 years old with short black hair and beautiful brown eyes. But, even though she was an attractive young woman, that's not what made her special. After all, there were lots of women around who looked just as good, if not better, than Sue.

Yes, she had a fantastic, magnetic personality that made her wonderful to be around. She was always fun, down-to-earth and never thought of herself as being too good to talk with anyone. She was always laughing, smiling, making little jokes and just a pleasure to be with. But that's not what made her special. After all, there were a lot of other women who had personalities just as engaging -- if not moreso.

Yes, she was very athletic -- though with her small, thin frame, you'd never know it. She was a skier, a swimmer and a softball player and pretty good at all three. She didn't play any scholastic sports in college since she thought she was too small to compete with the bigger girls -- though she did agree to wrestle because I assured her I would only make matches for her against girls her size. But again, her competitiveness and athleticism sure didn't make her special. After all, there were a lot of other girls and women who were much more athletic than Sue.

What Sue had was one of the rarest commodities around. People try to achieve it, but those who try to get it always fail because either you have it or you don't. They may try to imitate it, but you can't fake it, you can't buy it, you can't learn it. Either you are born with it, or you just live without it.

But Sue had it.

She had "The Look."

No, I'm not talking about a facial expression. Again, lots of women have that. Yes, an engaging facial expression that says it all without saying a word cannot be bought. But what Sue had was much more than that. She had "The Look."

No, I'm not talking about a classy air about her or the way she carried herself. This isn't a modeling thing. "The Look" was something much more than that -- much more rare. Yes, there is a certain part of modeling that you have to be born with, that can't be taught. But at the same time, the proper walk, attitude and facial expressions necessary to succeed in modeling can be learned.

The ability to simply capture a room upon entering it is also a wonderful gift, but that's not "The Look." The ability to grab attention simply by the way you stand, blink an eye or smile is a wonderful, mostly innate ability as well, but that's not "The Look."

All of those characteristics mentioned are wonderful and fine, but they can be found much easier than someone who has "The Look."

In fact not many even know what "The Look" is. But inside the women's wrestling business, the phrase is well-known. If you can find a woman who has "The Look," she will fill arenas, cause videos to jump off the shelves, cause magazine sales to skyrocket and cause exponential growth in the fan base of women's wrestling like nothing else.

"The Look", of course, is that special, indescribable look a woman has when she is trapped in a submission hold. "The Look" at its essence is the ability to look exceptionally good in submission holds placed on you by other women during a wrestling match. "The Look" is a combination of sheer beauty, fear, shock, agonizing torture, helplessness, hopelesness of escape, humiliation, embarrassment, desperation, ego stretched to its limits by pain, pride and the battle to not give in etched in a gorgeous woman's face after having a submission hold lockd on her ... the writhing in pain, the desperate attempts at escape, the sobbing, wailing, screaming, crying and squealing that comes with being trapped in a hold designed to embarrass you and force you into giving up ...all of these rolled up into a series of facial expressions and body movements. And more.

Mimi Yamaguchi, perhaps the most popular Japanese female wrestler ever, had "The Look." She just looked good trapped in submission holds. The beauty, the helplessness, the horror, the facial expressions, the battle of her will over the pain in her body, the screaming and squealing, the writhing in pain ... yes, Mimi had "The Look" like no one else. Of course, she turned out to be one of the most successful Japanese women wrestlers around. And "The Look" helped make her an icon -- a household name.

It takes more than just a beautiful woman to have "The Look." Yes, it is something special to watch a pretty or beautiful woman get caught in a submission hold and watch her agonize like an animal trapped in the grasp of a boa constrictor before submitting to her female adversary and admitting she was the better woman. But women much more beautiful than Sue have submitted to other females, and none of them had "The Look" that could stir you down to the very core and soul of your being as you watched her struggle and slowly be overwhelmed -- not only by a better woman whom is acknowledged as such by Sue herself due to her verbal submission, but by the hold itself.

When Sue was trapped in a submission hold, it looked as though the hold was created to especially be used on her. Sue's body seemed to almost magically mold with the hold and do exactly what the hold was meant to force it to do. It was like Sue had no control over her body. It was as though the hold ordered Sue to shape her body in such a manner and Sue had no other choice but to comply. Before Sue could even struggle and fight the hold, her body had already acquiesced to the will of the hold and had molded into the shape of the hold, just as pudding takes the shape of the container into which it is poured.

That's part of "The Look" -- the way a woman's body assents to the siren-like calling of the particular submission hold in which she is placed as well as the sheer and utter helplessness of her will to overcome her body's natural desire to fall under the mesmerizing, painful spell of the submission hold.

But "The Look" also has to do with facial expressions as well as body movements. And they came upon Sue in a natural, unwanted way. The shock, pain and humiliation of being trapped in a submission hold by another woman in which she would be forced to issue verbal surrender was simply enchanting to watch. Sue's big, beautiful brown eyes would bug out in shock when she first realized she was trapped. Then she would feel the pain, which would be mirrored in an agonizing, contorted facial expression as her eyes squinted closed in pain and her teeth gritted together. Then the realization that she may not be able to get away from her adversary without surrendering would cross her face as it became clear that she might have to humiliate herself in front of all those watching and admit her adversary was better than her. Then came the desperation in her attempts to get away and the look of helplessness, fear and soon hopelessness as it was evident what she had to do since there was no escape.

Then her cute little body would tremble, she would close her eyes, and then lapse into limpness before announcing her surrender -- a submission that always climaxed a wonderful, unique experience for those onlookers who were lucky enough to be there and enjoy the event. Of course, Sue didn't always submit in her matches. That rarely occurred -- which made the experience of watching her submit all the more special and enjoyable to behold.

Sue didn't really want to wrestle when I first approached her due to her size and lack of experience, but I talked her into it and she took it on as a challenge. Sue was not a great girl wrestler, but she wasn't bad either. You wouldn't necessarily call her "a jobber." She didn't always get destroyed in her matches. In fact, for the novice that she was, she always gave a very good account of herself despite her lack of training, which made me proud.

Then, on the other hand, I always tried to match her up against novices as well to make sure the fights were even so the fact that she was simply able to "give a good account of herself" belied the fact that she didn't win a whole lot of matches.

Even though Sue didn't win a lot of matches, she did manage to avoid being beaten decisively by pinfall or submission in most of them due to her dexterity, speed and athleticism. Most of the time, she lost by decision. For example, one of the first series of matches she ever fought was against a former girlfriend of mine, Karen. Karen was taller and stronger than Sue as she was a slender, model-type blonde at 5-8, 122 lbs. and a year older than Sue, but Sue was more athletic and competitive.

In that first match, Karen was always one move ahead of Sue and constantly had her on the defensive, but Sue was able to avoid coming close to getting pinned or being forced to submit. The match went the time limit and I ended up giving the bout to Karen on points. Sue was really ticked over this, claiming that the bout should have been declared a draw since neither girl pinned the other or made her submit. But I told her that Karen had proved she was just a little bit better than her, so I gave her the victory. This left Sue very exasperated.

The same thing happened the next time. Again, Sue did very well in countering Karen's moves on the mat and stayed out of trouble, but Sue found herself constantly on the defensive and never mounted much of an offense at all. Again, even though Sue didn't get pinned or submit, I had to give Karen the match again on the same basis as the first match -- leaving Sue even more exasperated than before.

Sue finally won me over and demanded that the next fight between them go on as long as possible until one of the women either submitted or was pinned. I agreed and so did Karen.

It was during this match where I first noticed that Sue had "The Look." The match proceeded like the first two always had, with Karen on the offensive and Sue constanly in the defense mode. After awhile, Sue suddenly tried to surprise Karen by making a rare offensive move and going for her legs! But Karen caught her in her arms around her body and then, in a move I still think of today, astounded and shocked me by picking Sue up and putting her across her shoulder back first in a body vice!

Sue never knew what hit her. Sue was wearing white sneakers for this fight and, as Karen lifted her up off the mat, Sue's gorgeous legs and feet kicked back and forth as well as out as Karen slowly lifted her into the air. Karen had to slightly move her head to the side to avoid Sue's desperately kicking feet as she put Sue across her shoulder back first. Sue didn't have the slightest idea what was going on as Karen forced Sue's body to reverse its position in mid-air to prepare her for what was about to come.

That's where I first noticed "The Look." Sue had an expression on her face that was priceless. It was a look of shock, fear, apprehension and helplessness -- a look that just couldn't be described in words alone.

Sue still had that look when Karen placed her back across her shoulder, wrapped her arms around her midsection tightly and held her there. "The Look" on Sue's face now included wild-eyed fear as she kicked her legs futilely and tried to free herself from Karen's solid grasp around her midsection.

It took a few seconds for Sue to experience the pain the hold was designed to create as she managed to keep her back straight and strong as she pried away at the arms of Karen. But then she relaxed -- and her back naturally arched over the shoulder of Karen. That's when the reality of the trouble she was in came to her via pain as her back and spine arched dangerously across Karen's strong shoulder. Sue had a look of surprise and shock on her face that was priceless -- again, all part of "The Look."

As the pain sank in and her dangerous situation became more and more apparent to her, "The Look" became more and more desperate as her legs kicked out and she tried to wriggle her body free as she writhed in pain from the hold. But her back became weaker and weaker and molded into the submission hold, doing exactly what the hold was created to do as Sue's back and spine arched more and more over Karen's shoulder and her head fell back further and further.

Sue's eyes squinted as tears formed in them and she tried to sit up and straighten her back to battle the pain as I repeatedly asked, "Sue, give up? Sue, give up?" Sue continually looked at me with this frantic look of fear, pain, and desperation as now her very pride and ego were being challenged in this hold designed to force her to submit.

It was "The Look."

Sue tried to keep her back straight, but finally she could do so no longer. Her body was stronger than her will and conformed to the desire of the hold, arching over the shoulder as her head fell back and her body went limp -- her eyes slowly closing as her arms fell downward, motionless.

Karen held her firmly around the midsection in an unbreakable grasp around her stomach Sue's head was now drooping near the ground as she hung upside down with her spine arching dangerously across Karen's shoulder. Sue's legs and feet barely moved as they, along with her arms, dangled limply toward the ground. Sue looked at me with tears streaming down her eyes, her face exhibiting the final throes of recognizing she had no choice but to submit to her opponent. Her humiliation, embarrassment, fear of being hurt, shock, agonizing torture dealt to her by the hold and the final destruction of what little pride she had left were etched all over her face as "The Look" became even more clear. The icing on the cake came when the sobbing Sue cried, "I give up!"

Karen released Sue, who tumbled limply to the mat. I raised Karen's arm in victory, but my eyes remained fixed on Sue who lay motionless on her stomach, beaten cleanly.

I suddenly realized I had experienced a visual treat in the field of ecstacy that few had ever experienced. It was perhaps one of the rarest, most precious, personal and intimate events I had ever seen in my entire life. I had just had the privilege of drinking in "The Look." And I was overcome with the experience.

Because of the rarity of this event's occurrence, I was mesmerized for days. I constantly thought of the look on Sue's face as she was trapped in that hold and realized that I had discovered that rare girl wrestler who had the unique quality of "The Look."

I realized the importance of my discovery and, after finally coming back to reality, debated with myself about talking to Sue about it -- and getting her to turn professional. Sue had the raw qualities of being the next Mimi and she didn't have the slightest idea of her precious possession.

But before I ventured into that area, I had to be sure Sue really had "it" -- "The Look." After all, maybe she just stumbled into it due to circumstances and events. Maybe it was a one-time thing. I had to make sure she really "had it."

Therefore, I scheduled her for another match two weeks later. Unfortunately, the match ended in a no-decision. In fact, the next several matches Sue had ended in either no decisions or decisions for her opponent. Sue had become even more defense-oriented after her big loss to Karen and was doing everything she could to avoid a repeat of the same humiliation. Thus, since Sue was avoiding submission like the plague, I couldn't see if she really did "have it."

I had put the quest to discover more about Sue's "Look" aside and was now just enjoying watching Sue wrestle and arranging matches for her. However, several months later, I had scheduled her to wrestle Laura, a blonde who was a year older than Sue, looked thicker and stronger than the frail Sue and had a weight advantage over her that was sheer muscle. I knew this would be a difficult match for Sue and so did she as she continued to fight defensively early in the match.

Laura was controlling the match, but hadn't really made a lot of headway into finishing Sue off. Sue's little defensive shell was working nicely for her. Sue was on her stomach on the ground, digging in so as to not be rolled over and pinned when suddenly, Laura stood up and grapevined Sue's legs from behind! She reached down, grabbed Sue by the wrist, and rocked backward!

Slowly Laura fell back -- and up came Sue majectically, soaring through the air and then, thanks to the power of Laura's legs, forced straight up almost into my face!

"Good grief, a Romero!" I thought! "Sue's trapped in a Romero!" One of the most humiliating submission moves ever created! Sue's shins and calves were neatly tucked beneath her thighs, grapevined from behind, and due to the hold her thighs were being spread apart, putting tremendous pressure on her groin! But it was the lifting up of Sue's entire body that caught my attention! I got a good look at Sue's face as she was forced into the air -- and there it was again!

"The Look!"

Sue's beautiful brown eyes were bugging out in fright as Laura forced her entire body straight up with her powerful legs, splitting Sue's thighs apart in the process as she held onto Sue's arms and pulled, putting pressure on both of her shoulders!

Once Sue's body reached its zenith, suspended in midair with Laura acting as the puppet master of her marionette by the name of Sue, Sue's expression of shock turned to fear! Sue really didn't have the slightest idea of what was being done to her! She didn't know the humiliating nature of this hold as it completely caught her off guard! The fear and surprise was all over her face!

Yes! Be still, my beating heart! "The Look" was making its return!

Then the pain set in. Her groin was being strained and she could do nothing about it, her shoulders were being torn apart, and her whole body was being helplessly suspended by Laura! Sue didn't even have anywhere to lay her head!

Now the look of pain, torturous agony and fear mixed together. I quickly pointed at Sue and shouted, "Sue! Give up?"

Sue shook her head no. But the pained expression on her face was now combining with hopelessness, helplessness and a realization that she would probably have to submit in humiliation as Sue squealed repeatedly in pain while Laura jerked and strengthened the hold! It was all part of "The Look!"

Sue tried to sit up, but Laura held her arms securely and it only caused Sue to put more strain on her arms! Now the mental battle that all lady wrestlers caught in submission holds had to go through appeared as part of "The Look!" And that battle pitted her will and pride against the pain that Laura's hold was afflicting on her and the hopelessness of an escape!

I was transfixed! I was experiencing "The Look" once again! I was powerless to even ask Sue to surrender again as her body was beginning to tremble and her head fell back! Sue kept trying to keep her head up, but as her pretty little body trembled in agony above the mat, suspended there by the more powerful Laura, she couldn't keep it from repeatedly falling backward!

Finally -- the tears came! The climax to it all! I watched the tears appear, then stream down Sue's beautiful face as her body shook from the torture of the Romero! Sue's head fell back once again -- her teeth gritting together in agony as her eyes closed! "The Look" was nearing its end!

I finally got out the words, "Sue, give up?" Immediately, Sue sobbed, "Yes! Yes, I give up!" Laura heard the magic words she was looking for and released Sue's wrists. Sue's body slowly rose up and then limply fell face first to the mat!

I realized I was experiencing deja vu as I raised Laura's hand in victory while my eyes were fixed on Sue -- which is just what happened when Sue submitted to Karen.

But most of all, I knew that Sue "had it." She had "The Look" and there was no way to avoid that fact now. Sue had what a very few women had on the face of this earth. She was a natural. Sue had found her calling -- and she didn't even know it!

I did my best to explain it to her, about "The Look" and all. But Sue just couldn't understand it. As I sat at lunch with her and tried to explain it to her, she batted those beautiful brown eyes at me and said she couldn't understand why "looking naturally graceful while losing" was a good thing. "The goal of wrestling is to win, isn't it?" asked Sue. "So why are you saying I'm at my best when I lose?"

Sue couldn't get past the contradiction -- and never did. A few months later we parted ways and she ended up joining a card counting group that tried to make money gambling in the casinos in Atlantic City.

Sometimes I wonder how Sue's doing. I picture her in a long, sleeveless black dress, sitting at the blackjack table as the dealer throws her a jack and a five. The dead woman's hand. And as I picture her looking at the cards, I see a hint of something that made Sue so special. A look of desperation, a look of shock, a look of fear, a look of helplessness, hopelessness, despair ...

Yes, even as she gambles today, I'll bet you can still see traces of it. After all, you can't get rid of a gift like that.

Somewhere in Atlantic City right now, a blackjack dealer may be getting a glimpse of one of the most rare, precious and special and sights that a woman can offer -- a sight so priceless that all the money in every casino in Atlantic City could not come close to buying it.

Yes, somewhere, a player has seen his luck change -- not financially, but experientially in a way he can never explain because he has been fortunate enough to be at the right place at the right time to get a partial, fleeting glimpse of ...

"The Look."