By T. Trolley

I majored in English in college, which meant I wrote a lot of papers and essays during my four-year stint. And there were times when I came down with the worst disease that an English major could suffer -- writer's block. But whenever I was afflicted with that malady, I always availed myself of the tried-and-true-remedy. An elixir that never failed and was always good enough to at least land me a B in times of complete and utter desperation.

During these tough and difficult times, I always drew upon a theme that was not only familiar to me but always guaranteed success -- The Christ Figure.

All I had to do was compare the major protagonist in any book or story -- it didn't matter what kind of book or character it was -- compare him or her to the Messiah of the New Testament, and I ultimately had the professor eating out of my hand when it came time for him or her to decide upon the totally subjective grade that was given out.

I got through the university using that approach as my main sustenance that entitled me to my cap and gown. Of course, once I got into the work world, there was no need for me to fall back to that tactic.

But little was I to know that I would run into the perfect "suffering servant figure" several years later -- in real life. And little was I to know that that person was to come in the form of a beautiful woman who would take on another in a huge physical and what turned out to be a surreal, metaphysical battle. And little was I to know how much her real-life struggles would be reminiscent of the literary genre I had referred to so often in the university! Only this confrotation would not take place in the pages of a book. This fight would take place in the real world -- in front of my very eyes!

Every combative female fan has a dream match that he would have loved to see between two women he knew in life but never got to see. However, I was lucky enough to actually see that dream fight -- a fight I could never top in all of my wildest imaginations.

... innocent blood ... (Matt. 27:4)

Angela was just 18 and a lifeguard at a local pool. She was a 5-6 blonde, weighed 130 lbs. and, in my view, was a Baywatch girl before Baywatch ever came on TV. She had a curvaceous figure that was perfect -- not too fat, not too skinny -- with a little meat on her which added to her beauty. She was somewhat naive, but very innocent when it came to her approach to the rest of the world.

"... a little lower than the angels ..." (Heb. 2:7)

Her legs, arms and cute, round little face were perfect and she was aptly named for she looked and acted just like a cherub in her teenaged innocence and her natural girl-next door, yet siren-like, smile. The more Angela worked for me in my wrestling business the more I became entranced with her.

"... your adversary ..." (I Peter 5:8)

Janet, on the other hand, was a beautiful part-time Hispanic model. She was 32 years old, 5-3 and weighed 123 lbs. She had a gorgeous body as well, darker than Angela, and maybe even in a bit better shape than the younger Angela due to her visits to the gym to play racquetball. I knew her from when I worked at the local newspaper and found her to be absolutely breathtaking looks wise with a little bite to her personality -- an air of toughness and aggressiveness that wouldn't put up with being pushed around.

"... as one that had authority ..." Mark 1:22

Janet visited the pool with me where Angela worked as a lifeguard and immediately perceived the blonde as "competition." Even though Janet was beautiful, she didn't have the air of sweet innocence that Angela did. And even Janet's beauty couldn't outlast Father Time. So it didn't take long for Janet to perceive Angela as the "young gun" who would ultimately surpass her in the Battle of Beauty that every woman secretly wages against each other.

One spring day, it all came to a head. Angela was wearing a red swimsuit while acting as lifeguard at the community pool. Janet was fooling around in the water, splashing me and some others. She then got out and began to use some foul language with children present as she ran around the pool, chasing some folks in good fun.

Suddenly a whistle was blown and Angela yelled at Janet, "Hey! Stop running and cussing!"

Janet didn't take too well at all to this. She began to argue with Angela. Angela, with the authority of the pool behind her, didn't back off at all.

"... we will push down our enemies ..." (Ps. 44:5)

Then, to my surprise, the two began to push each other! I quickly stepped in and said, "Look! If you two want to fight, I can arrange for it to take place in a ring with a referee! Then we'll see just who the better woman is!" I knew a small independent wrestling group was coming to town on Good Friday in a week and the owner of the troupe told me he'd let me use the ring if I gave him some free publicity.

The two women agreed to a fight that would prove who was the better woman -- an I Quit match in which the loser would have to kiss the winner's feet!

"And they covenanted ... for 30 pieces of silver." (Matt. 26:15)

Word about the fight in the ring spread quickly and the demand to see the match was so great that, with the help of the owner of the wrestling troupe, we actually sold tickets for an extra $5 in addition to the rest of the card for anyone who knew Janet and Angela and wanted to see them fight. I was able to pay both Janet and Angela for their efforts before the fight in the form of several $20 bills, making this their first professional fight!

"... and now when the even was come ... the day before the Sabbath (Good Friday) ..." (Mark 15:42)

Both the wrestling troupe owner and me were really happy to see a large crowd arrive early to see Janet and Angela fight at 5 p.m. on Good Friday, two hours before the rest of the card started. There was a referee there, but the girls insisted that I acted in that capacity because they were both certain I would give each of them a fair shake. I agreed, realizing that all I'd have to do in this fight was ask for a woman to surrender when she got in trouble since it was a NHB (No Holds Barred) I Quit fight. And I liked the idea of asking either gorgeous woman if they wanted to surrender while in the grasp of their equally beautiful opponent.

Angela wore a blue swimsuit for this fight and Janet wore a black swimsuit.

Neither woman was trained in wrestling, but I was sure Angela thought she'd beat Janet due to her size advantage and Janet thought she could take Angela because she was stronger and tougher than the taller blonde. I personally thought Janet might hold the edge simply because she was a woman and Angela was still a teenager. For some reason, women seemed to always take out teenagers in fights from what I experienced in the past.

The women were in the ring. Janet looked much more willing to fight than Angela, who seemed to experience a little trepidation about what was going to happen to her before the bell sounded.

The two came out to the center ring as the bell rang. Angela was a bit hesitant as the two grabbed at each other's arms and wrists with the crowd cheering their favorite. Janet took control by grabbing Angela's wrists quickly and pushing her back. Angela struggled to get away, but seemed like she wasn't in any major trouble.

Until ...

"... and others smote with the palms of their hands ..." Matt. 26:67

Suddenly, Janet made Angela pay a dear price for her hesitancy when -- out of nowhere -- Janet reached back with her open right hand and let Angela have it right flush in the face with the biggest slap I had ever seen!

The sound of the slap was so loud when it landed that someone passing by outside the arena probably heard it! Angela squealed in pain and reeled back first into the ropes! A stunned, innocent Angela bounced off the ropes completely unaware of what was going on -- and Janet caught her right in the face with a surprising version of a drop kick that caught the cute teen right in the face!

Sweet Angela went down to her back and just lay there! Wow! I remember thinking, "My gosh, Janet smacked the taste right out of Angela's mouth!" Janet had literally bitch slapped Angela -- a move that not only hurt Angela physically but injured her pride as well!

"... behold the lamb ..." (John 1:29)

I began to feel for the gorgeous teenager as Janet walked over to the cute blonde, grabbed her by the hair, and slowly pulled her up! It looked like Janet was already totally dominating the young, sweet, innocent, angelic Angela. I began to think that, even though I was absolutely enjoying this dream match of my 210s, Angela may have bitten off much, much more than she could chew and that Janet was about to systematically whittle Angela down to size and take her through the mill before beating her by forcing her to give up and embarrassing her in front of all of her friends in the process.

But to my surprise, as Janet pulled Angela to her knees, Angela suddenly lashed out with a hard right hand to Janet's unprotected midsection, knocking the wind out of the unprepared Janet! "Wow!" I thought to myself. "I didn't think Angela had it in her!" I honestly thought that Janet was well on her way to slaughtering Angela like a sacrificial lamb, offered up on the altar of Janet's ego and pride as well as gratification at having proven herself the better woman in a fair fight against cute Angela.

But that huge punch thrown by Angela had given the blonde "10" new life! Angela actually got up on the ropes and knocked the smaller Hispanic woman down with a version of a cross body block! She then got back on the ropes and caught the prone Janet right in the same place she had socked Janet with a hard flying elbow!

Janet let out a scream and, to my surprise, the Hispanic model was actually hurt! No doubt about it! Janet rolled to her stomach and Angela quickly jumped on her back and grabbed Janet in a camel clutch!

I knew that Angela was hurting Janet's back and neck as she pulled back and knew Janet might want to quit! As Janet winced and groaned in pain, I had to admit I got a little thrill out of seeing this gorgeous woman being outclassed and outmuscled by Angela! To my surprise, I found myself asking Janet, "Janet! Give up?" But I certainly wasn't surprised when Janet refused to surrender. It would take more punishment than this from Angela to make Janet submit and overcome her huge pride!

Angela seemed to realize this and kept pulling back even harder, using her strong upper body and arms to put even more pressure on Janet's neck and back in an attempt to coerce her to give up! I asked Janet to give up again, but again she refused! Angela kept using her arm power to pull back on Janet's chin until it seemed like Janet's back had reached the breaking point! This time, I got down on one knee, pointed at Janet and asked loudly, "Janet! Give up?"

But Janet got to the ropes after a tremendous struggle in which Angela continued to pull up on the camel clutch with her strong arms, shoulders and back! Janet finally got to the ropes and put her arm over the second strand, but Angela -- now all wound up due to the fight -- choked Janet on the second rope!

Angela then ran into the opposite ropes, bounced off and came at Janet, who was on her knees with her back to Angela trying to catch her breath! Angela lept in the air and intended to come down on top of Janet in hopes of crushing her throat against the rope!

But Janet moved away at the very end and Angela soared between the second and third ropes, landing hard on her keister!

Angela let out a scream as she hit the hard floor! Meanwhile, Janet got up and ran at the opposite ropes, bounced off of them and -- as Angela slowly got off the floor -- flung herself over the top rope and came down on top of the unexpecting Angela, using her momentum and weight to crush Angela down onto the floor!

"... in his own blood ..." Rev. 1:5

Janet got up, pulled the stunned Angela up by her long, curly blond hair -- and rammed her head into the ringpost repeatedly! Angela let out a scream as her forehead was bashed into the ringpost by Janet, who held her by the hair with her right hand! Janet smashed the squealing Angela's forehead into the ringpost four times! Angela then fell to her knees, almost out cold and crying!

Janet was in complete control of Angela now as she pulled the sobbing Angela up by the hair. That's when everyone noticed the blood coming out of a cut Janet had opened up on Angela's forehead when she smashed the attractive blonde's head repeatedly against the ringpost!

Janet suddenly whipped around and caught the defenseless Angela with a spin kick right in the face that sent Angela flying into the ring barriers!

Janet, having her way with Angela now, walked over and gruffly pulled Angela up by the hair and tried to throw her back into the ring! But an angry Angela reversed the hold and threw Janet into the ringpost!

Angela struggled back into the ring as Janet slowly got up and followed her prey back into the squared circle. At first it looked like Janet might be bleeding as well, but it turned out to be Angela's blood streaming out of her now profusely bleeding forehead and onto Janet. Angela was hurting and crying, but she was also furious with Janet for busting her open and beating her up!

"Wow, is Angela bleeding!" I thought as Angela scoop slammed Janet! Still, Angela fought on and caught Janet with a big elbow off the ropes as Janet lay on her back, right across her chest! Janet yelped in pain!

Angela picked Janet up and threw her into the ropes! Angela hunched over to clothesling Janet, but the blood streaming down her forehead got into her eyes, which allowed Janet to avoid the clothesline by leapfrogging the bent over Angela!

Angela was now having trouble seeing due to the blood that was flowing into her eyes! She tried to find Janet after she leapfrogged her and sighted Janet -- just as Janet was about to land a running clothesline on her! Angela was able to step slightly aside at the last possible moment and get her right arm up -- and both women clothelined each other, sending them down to the mat on their backs!

" ... and they crucified him ..." Matt. 27:35

Both women lay there for several seconds, but it was Janet who was the first one to get off the mat. She slowly pulled Angela up by the hair, threw her into the ropes, and caught Angela in a flying crucifix, scissoring Angela's left arm with her powerful legs and grabbing her right arm with both her hands at the wrists!

Angela fell helplessly to her back with Janet beneath her!

"... and all my bones are out of joint ..." (Ps. 22:14)

Janet began to viciously and ferociously work the crucifix on Angela, pulling vigorously back on Angela's right arm in an effort to pull it out of its shoulder socket while she extended her body, pulling the opposite way on Angela's pretty left arm and shoulder!

Angela imediately began to struggle, but Janet simply closed her eyes and leaned back with her full weight -- extending her body as far as it would go while stretching out Angela and trying to dislocate both of her shoulders! Angela let loose with a loud sob as she felt the pain in her right shoulder!

"... in his hands the print of the nails ..." John 20:25

Meanwhile, Janet dug both of her thumbs into Angela's right wrist like two nails, right below her hand! Angela let loose with a squeal of pain as Janet's two thumbs dug into her wrist! Angela instinctively tried to use her left hand to free her right wrist, but Janet has Angela's entire left arm trapped in that scissors!

Angela tried to pull her left arm away to free it, but couldn't! She then desperately tried to pull her right arm from Janet, but Janet simply dug her thumbs deeper into the soft, fleshy wrist of Angela!

Angela let loose with another shriek of pain -- then looked at me in a panic as she realized that Janet had both of her arms trapped and was not only trying to pinch off the circulation to her right arm but also was intent on dislocating both of her shoulders!

I asked Angela to submit! Angela looked at me and suddenly her eyes grew big as saucers as she realized that she was hopelessly trapped and was growing closer and closer to being forced to make an awful decision -- "submit or suffer" by having one or both shoulders dislocated!

Angela was in real trouble! She was now laying on her back, her upper body trembling as Janet was under her, cruelly and viciously tugging and pulling at Angela's arms with her hands and strong legs as her thumbs pressed deeper and deeper into Angela's soft, feminine wrist!

Angela's right wrist was trembling under the immense pressure being applied to it by Janet's two thumbs as Angela cried and sobbed in pain. Blood continued to flow from her forehead as Janet stretched Angela out, plunging those thumbs into Angela's wrist!

Angela tried to use her strong legs to wriggle and roll her pretty, curvaceous, bikini-clad body free as I continued to ask her to give up! But Janet now has an almost crazed look in her eyes and was now literally torturing Angela in that crucifix! Angela could only sob and tremble in pain!

"... It is finished ..." Jn. 19:30

Angela fought surrender, not wanting to experience the humiliation of giving up in front of so many people. But she had been in that hold for almost a full minute, and I wondered how both her wrist and those shoulders could take such pressure!

Finally, after several requests for her submission, Angela looked up at me -- trembling and agonizing in pain -- and said, "Yes! I give up! I'm finished!"

"And when they had mocked him ..." Mark 15:20

Janet released Angela, who rolled to her stomach and grabbed her right wrist with her left hand as she sobbed in pain! Janet jumped around the ring, ecstatic over her victory. The worn out, beaten up, defeated and extremely bloodied Angela lay on the mat at the feet of Janet, her conqueress! Janet then stood at the center of the ring as she gloated over her impressive win over Angela! She then began to tease and taunt the sobbing Angela, saying, "I kicked your butt and now it's time to pay the piper, dearie!"

"... in his humiliation ..." (Acts 8:33)

Angela sobbed on her knees, "I can't believe I have to do this! How embarrassing!" She crawled over to Janet, bent down and in a moment of unbelieveable humiliation -- kissed Janet's feet with a quick peck! She then quickly got up and rushed out of the ring in total denigration -- her eyes filled with tears!

"... All they that see me laugh me to scorn ..." (Ps. 20:7)

As Angela ran down the aisle to the locker room to hide her humiliation, some of those in attendance showed mercy, simply looking on and saying nothing. But others who were Janet's fans and friends laughed at her, pointing at her and guffawing, "Janet kicked your a$$!" Others laughed, "Your breath smells like feet!"

The incessant joking only made it harder for Angela to bear as she got to the locker room. She was sitting on a bench sobbing into her hands, her head still bleeding profusely as I entered.

"... why art thou so far from helping me ..." (Ps. 20:1)

When she saw me, she looked up with her head bleeding and her sad, blue eyes staring at me -- as though she was expecting me to do something to make everything better.

I took her to the doctor where they stitched up the wound. That I could do. But I couldn't do anything about the humiliation or the embarrassment that she would face everytime she ran into Janet or anyone who saw the fight.

It was clear that Janet was the better woman and there was literally nothing that Angela could do about it. She would have to face up to that fact and deal with it for the forseeable future.

I wish I could say that Angela experienced a resurrection day, an Easter Sunday. But she never did. There was never a rematch against Janet because Angela knew that Janet would simply beat the stuffing out of her again and possibly exact an even worse shellacking out of Angela than previously.

But, even though there was no rematch, the fight itself stayed with me for years and years. But the revelation of the similarities between Angela's fight and "the passion" did not hit me until just recently. And the scope as well as the magnitute of those same similarities are still being discovered by myself as time passes.