BITCHMANIA I
By
DARK CLOUD

The following is the product of a sick and diseased mind. Someone who views women, especially sexy celebrity women, as pieces of meat to be used as he sees fit for whatever twisted, evil fantasies he likes to indulge in.

Here he is the promoter and booker of an ultra brutal women’s wrestling federation (CAF – Catfighting Actress’s Federation) and this is the inaugural event – BITCHMANIA!

*

No expense has been spared in the presentation of this ground-breaking event. There’s a sold out crowd in a large arena in Los Angeles and its made up largely of blood thirsty perverts hopeful of seeing plenty of sexy ultra violence. As footage and montage rolls on the big screens in the arena a voiceover runs down tonight’s card from main event downwards

Sarah Michelle Gellar v Jennifer Love Hewitt World Title Match. Barbed wire rope in a locked steel cage, with the added stipulation that the loser will have her head shaved completely bald.

Jennifer Aniston and Kaley Cuoco v. Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox for the World Tag Team Championship, with the added stipulation that the winners can pick one member of the losing team to whip for two uninterrupted minutes.

Sarah Hyland v. Emma Watson for the Junior Championship.

Courtney Cox v. Teri Hatcher – In a Street fight, falls count anywhere battle.

Scarlett Johansson and Anne Hathaway v. Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel

Eva Longoria v. Sofia Vergara

Patricia Heaton v. Julie Bowen

*

The lights go down and a very sexy Rihanna struts down to the ring dressed in figure hugging blue, velvet hotpants and bra top. She milks the rabid crowd’s reaction for all it’s worth and makes quite the show of bending and stretching her legs as she enters the ring. She encourages more cheers by circling the ring then takes up position in centre ring and prepares to lift the microphone in her hand to her mouth and sing the national anthem.

“OH….”

She gets no further as the house mic is cut off and two figures storm down to ringside. The camera struggles to keep up with them but we see they are statuesque blondes and in a second they have slid into the ring and they hammer a startled Rihanna with a vicious double clothes line. The lights come up and we can now recognise the twosome as Charlize Theron and Cameron Diaz. Cameron lifts the dazed Rihanna by her hair and effortlessly picks her up with head between her thighs and then drops her down with a neck jarring piledriver! Cameron gets up and high fives Charlize when then takes over lifts the motionless Rihanna in a similar manner but this time flips her over into a powerbomb position and then takes a slow walk around the ring until she faces the entrance ramp. Then with a mighty lift and shove she powerbombs Rihanna over the top rope and all the way down to the floor on her back, where she lands with a crippling thud and lies motionless on the concrete floor until EMT teams rush down to tend to her.

Cameron Diaz again high fives Charlize and picks up the mic which has been switched back on.

“No dumb singer gets to appear on a CAF show. This is for actresses only bitch and anyone that saw you in Battleship knows that you sure ain’t an actress!”

She hands the mic to South African Charlize (who has a noted racist streak).

“Yeah guys, scrape that piece of nigger shit up off our floor and get her out of here and if we ever see you or any other talentless bimbo singer in our house again we won’t be quite so forgiving!”

The crowd booed the hell out of the two smug blondes. Rihanna had been Pearl Harboured before even getting the chance to sing then insulted and racially slurred, still there were smatterings of cheers from some hardcore fans. Cameron and Charlize then stepped out of the ring and stepped over the ring side barriers to take up two ringside seats that were suspiciously empty.

This first match is a pretty low key affair, just a battle between two of sitcom’s stars. Patricia Heaton is the star of The Middle and Everybody Loves Raymond and is quite the fan favourite. The sparky, small brunette gets a good reaction as she come down to ringside in a nice black two piece bikini. Julie Bowen, star of Modern Family (the first of three women from that show who will fight on this card) doesn’t get quite so good reaction. She’s seen as the stuck up, bossy, ice queen bitch from the character and her height advantage over Patricia seals things, she gets booed as she enters the ring in her blue bikini. Which is worthy of Julie turning to face one side of the packed arena and treating them to a double middle finger salute! She then walked round the ring and gave all four sides the bird.

The match started with the crowd solidly behind Patricia and she used that momentum in a lock up to back her taller blonde opponent back into a corner. However, as Patricia broke off Julie lashed the hand out and chopped the brunette across the chest viciously. Grabbing Patricia by her hair she pulled her round, back her into the corner and pounded in five rapid fire knees to her gut. The boos for this action though broke off by an unexpected buzz.

Cameron and Charlize had risen from the seats and hopped the rail again, taking their steel chairs with them! Julie didn’t appear to have noticed and was scooping her foe up and slamming her to the mat. Then she decided to climb the turnbuckle. She only got halfway up though before Cameron swung her chair and cracked Julie Bowen on the head and the blonde fell backwards, unprotected into the ring. In seconds Charlize was in the ring and driving the end of her chair repeatedly into Patricia Heaton’s gut while Cameron waited for Julie to slowly rise before putting her down again with a chair shot to the head. Somehow Julie again managed to slowly get up, this time with a small trickle of blood coming down her face from a cut on her forehead and her eyes glassy from a concussion. Cameron Diaz showed no mercy though and swung her chair a third time and this time delivered a killer chair shot, the impact leaving a head shaped dent in the metal seat of the chair and knocking Julie Bowen out cold before she had even slipped to the canvas.

Charlize meantime had dropped her chair onto the canvas and easily hoisted Patricia up and piledriven her on the chair just as a host of black clad security guard made it to the ring and tried to break up the carnage. As four or five men dragged the Hollywood A-Listers away from the ring, Cameron spat on a camera and cursed “fucking TV sluts shouldn’t be in our ring, they don’t deserve it!”

The opening match was called a no contest with neither sitcom slut able to continue and in fact both competitors had to be stretchered out of the arena before a crowd that didn’t know whether to be excited or annoyed by events so far.

// BACKSTAGE

As Charlize Theron and Cameron Diaz are being hustled out of the building the Federation’s Commissioner, Heather Locklear, storms towards them cursing and swearing.

“What the hell are you two doing? You’re ruining the show!”

The security parted to allow the two blondes to face up to her and snarl.

“It was spoiled when you booked dumb singers and pathetic TV only actresses and left real stars like us off the card!”

“You fucking bitches! I’ll make damned sure you are on the next PPV then but I’ll be picking your opponents and I’ll be picking the stipulations!”

“Fine. See if we care cunt! Anyone, anywhere!”

“Is that right? Fine next month it’ll be Charlize Theron versus Cameron Diaz in a loser leaves town match and I’ll be the special guest referee! See you next month ladies, boys get that trash out of here!”

The crowd are buzzing that that announcement and have got even more to celebrate as the second of our participants from Modern Family heads down the ramp towards the ring. It’s busty Colombian babe Sofia Vergara and she’s clad in a tiny red, sting bikini that barely manages to contain her main assets – her large breasts! Wow is she popular as she sexily struts her way to the ring, slapping hands with the fans and blowing kisses to them, she’s already a fan favourite.

Her opponent is hardly unpopular either though as is evidenced by the cheer as Eva Longoria steps onto the ramp and approaches the ringside area. Despite her Latino looks and foreign sounding name she’s an American and is only getting slightly less support than her foreign opponent because she’s wearing more clothing. Eva’s wearing black tight shorts, a bra top and has something approaching a black silk cape tied around her neck and draping sexily on her lithe, younger body.

There’s no major issue between these two brunette bombshells but both know that a victory on this card should propel the winner into the World Title picture and both are desperate for that level of success. They briefly slap hands as acknowledgement and after Eva undoes the cape and ties it to the ringpost they slam together in a test of strength. Sofia comes out on top easily and with a grunt she shoves Eva back and rolling onto her back. Not happy to lose face Eva gets right back up and lifts her arm as if challenging a test of strength again but when Sofia reacted she lifted her foot and drove it in the Colombian’s gut. Sofia bends double which offered the perfect opportunity for Eva to grip her hair, hold her face down and power a knee up into her model looks. She went down to the canvas from that blow holding her face and the crowd are starting to turn on Eva for her underhand way of gaining an advantage in this bout.

Not that Eva cared, she grinned as she reached down, grabbed her opponent by her long hair and pulled her up to her knees, whereupon she drew back but only to give her space to deliver a side kick right into Sofia’s large breasts. Down and on her back from that blow Eva bounced off the ropes before splashing her and going for an early cover. 1…2.. KICK OUT.
Eva was a little annoyed but undeterred she pulled her opponent up by the hair, took a step back then unleashed a torrent of hard, martial arts style kicks. To Sofia’s thighs, calves, side and then finally a spin kick to Sofia’s jaw that staggered her backwards into the corner, propped up only by the turnbuckles.

Eva held her arms up but didn’t get the positive reaction she had hoped for and pouted for a moment before charging into the corner and spearing Sofia in the gut. Then with her foe bent over Eva grabbed her in a headlock and delivered a bulldog manoeuvre, slamming Sofia head first onto the mat. She covered and again got a two count. This time Eva was annoyed and glared at the ref as she got to her feet again, dragging Sofia up by the hair as she went. She went for another Irish whip into the corner but at the last second Sofia twirled around and reversed it, sending Eva back first into the corner, before she had a chance to react Sofia charged in after it and splashed her in the corner, crushing her there.

Sofia was riled and had an intense look on her beautiful face. She pulled up Eva’s head and delivered a hard slap to her face, then another then another and finally a forth. This was turning from a wrestling match into a catfight and that continued as Eva Longoria desperately reached out and raked her nails in Sofia’s face then the two Latino beauties grabbed the other’s hair and started to rip and tug and seconds later they were on the mat, rolling about trying to tear the others hair out. This saw both of them tumble below the bottom rope and take a hard drop onto the concrete floor around the ring.

It was Sofia that took the worst of that fall, her being on the bottom when they landed. Eva was first to her feet as the ref started to count them out, and she took full advantage by ramming Sofia into the metal crowd barrier before rolling back into the ring.

We were looking at a count out but through sheer will Sofia made it back to the ring at the nine count, but as she slid under the ropes Eva dropped an elbow on the back then hauled her into the ring and sat on the small of her back and hooked her hands under her chin and leaned back as hard as she could.

“Give up bitch! I want a title match!” demanded Eva through gritted teeth as she wrenched back.

Despite her jaw being jammed shut Sofia managed to convey that she wasn’t for submitting and instead seemed to be shaking and gathering her strength and somehow managed to get her legs under her and go from kneeling, to squatting to standing, all with Eva hanging on her back. Once up vertical Sofia ran backwards and once again squashed her opponent behind her in the turnbuckle. As Sofia staggered away, Eva groaned and in an act of desperation undid the clasp on Sofia’s bikini top and let it drop exposing her huge breasts to the cheering crowd!

If she thought that would affect Sofia Vergara though she was wrong, as the crowd went wild she didn’t even try to cover her tits, instead she let them all see them and snap pictures before she walked up to the crumpled Eva.

“So you want my boobies exposed, do you? I don’t think you do!”

And with that Sofia leaned forward, pressing her copious tit flesh around Eva Longoria’s nose and mouth and effectively smothering her!

Realising what was going on the crowd went mental! So too did Eva as she realised what peril she was in. Her arms and legs flailed wildly but Sofia just kept up the pressure and held her foe into her cleavage for all she was worth. Sofia stepped back to take Eva out from the ropes and any potential escape that way and soon enough Eva dropped helplessly to her knees. Then, just as everyone thought the fight over Eva summoned up the strength to drive her forearm up powerfully and between Sofia’s legs smashing into her pussy! The ref had been on the other side and although he was certain what must have happened he didn’t see it himself (plus was under orders to try and get a clean finish) so as Sofia dropped to her knees holding her injured crotch and Eva collapsed on her back desperately breathing in oxygen he just stood back and awaited the next move.

With the crowd roaring her on it was the topless Colombian who made it to her feet first, but Eva was up not long behind her. Seeing her up Sofia charged but Eva saw her coming and backdropped her over the ropes! Somehow Sofia managed to land on the mat outside the ropes but as she adjusted her feet Eva grabbed her by the hair and dragged her the full length of the rope to the turnbuckle, which with the sensitive underside of Sofia’s tits being dragged along the rope caused some major pain through rope burn!

Eva then used her hand in Sofia’s hair to ram her head into the outside of the turnbuckle, then began climbing the inside turnbuckle while pulling Sofia brutally by the hair with her on the outside. The crowd got to their feet in preparation for a superplex as finally both lovelies stood unsteadily in the corner atop the turnbuckles. But as Eva hooked Sofia’s head Sofia desperately punched Eva repeatedly in the gut and as she staggered and released her hold Sofia rammed a head butt into her face which caused Eva to fall backward all the way down to the mat. Still standing up in the corner Sofia, raised her arms to get more crowd support then launched herself with a big splash off the turnbuckle, landing right on Eva Longoria’s mid section. Then, ignoring her own pain Sofia spun around and straddled the unmoving Eva and once again wrapped her huge tits around her opponents face as she knelt atop her.

This time there was no escape and in under thirty seconds the referee had checked Eva Longoria’s arm three times and three times it had limply dropped. The bell sounded and the crowd stood to a man and cheered wildly.

The winner in 14:42 is SOFIA VERGARA!

*
BACKSTAGE

The camera zooms out from a hot, passionate French kiss and we eventually see the participants are the ultra sexy tag team partners of Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox. We even see trails of saliva fall as their lips part then they simultaneously turn and smirk seductively towards the camera. It’s Angelina whose voice purrs deeply though as she addresses the camera regarding their tag tream match later that night where the loser has a team member whipped where they’ll take on Jennifer Aniston and Kaley Cuoco.

“You see Jen, my partner and me are on the same page, at the same level because we are both huge stars in our own right. But look at your partner. A common TV sitcom actress, hardly at our level, is she? Hell. She’s not even at your level. Slumming it, aren’t you? And we can announce right now that when we win we will be nominating you to receive the whipping, after all what would be the point of whipping your partner, she’s a nobody.”

“Mmmm babe, all that talk has got me so excited, I think I’ll have to give you a tongue lashing instead…” interrupted Megan before sinking down out of view giving the definite impression she was about to go down on Angelina as the camera cut away.

*
The next scheduled match is a real heavyweight tag team collision. First to the ring is “The Jess Express” – Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel. They are in matching red one pieces (not all that different from Baywatch outfits) and their brown hair is nice and straight and other than Biel being slightly taller they are almost twins. As they stand in the ring the lights go down and in a laser show two leather clad babes appear on a motorcycle and zoom down to ringside. Parking it up and getting off are Anne Hathaway and Scarlett Johansson, both are kitted out in their respective attire from blockbuster films “The Dark Knight Rises” and “The Avengers” where they play Catwoman and Black Widow respectively.

They look sexy as fuck as they jump into the ring and face off with their serious looking opponents. Then with the introductions not even finished all four women lunge towards each other – Alba locking up with Scarlett while Biel starts trading punches with Hathaway. Scarlett quickly arm drags her opponent across the ring and Jessica Alba rises she’s met with a drop kick that sends her through the ropes and to the outside. Meantime Jessica Biel has taken control of the fist fight with Anne Hathaway and has the new Catwoman reeling against the ropes but as she charges Anne ducks and flips the larger woman up and over to the outside landing almost on her partner. As the two Jessica’s struggle to their feet outside the ring Scarlett Johansson crouches beside the ropes in the ring and Anne runs across the ring, springboards off her partners back and soars over the top rope and lands a daredevil plancha dive to the two Jessica’s outside the ring!

The crowd roar at that and Anne is swiftly to her feet, dragging Alba with her and rolling her back into the ring where Scarlett waits for her. With that done Anne picks up Jessica Biel and uses momentum to Irish whip Biel right across the ringside area where she crashes into the metal crowd barrier at a fair lick. In the ring Scarlett picks Alba up only to level her with a short clothesline to garner the first two count of the match. Not discouraged at all Scarlett hoists Alba up in a suplex position and then proceeds to hold her up like that for nearly ten seconds, letting the blood rush down to Alba’s head before dropping her hard from the delayed suplex.

Meantime outside the ring Anne Hathaway is following up after her Irish whip and is beating up Biel on the barrier with a series of punches. This is not a Tornado style bout but the ref is letting this go as he concentrates on the women in the ring. After ten successive punches to Jessica Biel’s forehead Anne turns away to raise her arms to the crowd and just at that point arms reach out from the crowd and wrap a black object around Anne Hathaway’s neck! With Jessica Biel lolling glassy eyed beside her Anne’s reaches her hand up to her neck desperately but is too late and the black leather of a curled up whip has been wrapped tightly around her slim neck by two black gloved hands. As Anne chokes we can see the figure emerge from the crowd, it’s Halle Berry in her old Catwoman costume!

In the ring Scarlett doesn’t know what is happening to her partner and doesn’t care, she is straddling Jessica Alba’s torso and pounding punch after punch into her beautiful face. When she tires of that she stands up, lifting Alba’s body with her and slips Alba’s head between her powerful thighs and holds her body up, standing bent over, her ass on display in her costume. Scarlett playfully walks her fingers down Alba’s lower back and tightly grips the gusset of the swimsuit before yanking it viciously so that it disappears right up Jessica Alba’s ass crack! Then, bored with that Scarlett flips Alba’s body up into a piledriver position and drives her down into the mat head first!

Outside the ring Anne Hathaway’s face has turned a bright red colour and her eyes look more and more out of it as Halle pours on the pressure with her whip. It is wrapped so tightly around Anne’s neck that it is almost garrotting the star and her hands are weaker and weaker in their efforts to free herself until finally they flop down and one glance at her tells you she is now totally unconscious.

“Mock my Catwoman, would you bitch? I’ll fucking show you!” snarled Halle as she stood over her foe.

Ignoring that Jessica Biel was up now and climbed back to her corner just in time to see Scarlett Johansson drop her partner with that devastating piledriver. Taking it in as she saw the leather clad Scarlett drop onto Alba to cover her Biel knew she had to interfere. She slipped through the ropes and broke the count by kicking Scarlett in the back of the head much to the referee annoyance.it broke the count though and he didn’t disqualify them, instead he just yelled at her and pushed her back to her corner as Scarlett lay on the mat holding her head while Alba lay next her slowly coming round. With Biel back in the match Scarlett decided she needed fresh blood in the bout and she started to crawl towards their corner unaware that Anne Hathaway was dead to the world outside the ring at that point and about to feel the brunt of a pair of slip on claws that Halle Berry was about to put on her right hand.

That time Scarlett wasted crawling to her corner allowed Biel to get Alba’s attention by stamping and shouting and by the time Scarlett realised there was no one to tag Alba had just made it herself to her own corner and made a tag. Jessica Biel hit the ring like a house afire and met Scarlett in centre ring with a series of punches that had Scarlett reeling quickly. But Biel followed her back into the corner and climbed to the second rope to stand over Scarlett and pound more punches down on her forehead, when she finally relented Scarlett toppled forward and fell flat on her face. At which point Jessica Biel stepped down and grabbed Scarlett’s sexy catsuit and to the delight of the crowd began tugging it off the superstar’s body!

By the time Scarlett realised what was going on Jessica had hauled the leather down over her arms and down to her waist and Scarlett Johansson’s tits we exposed. As she struggled to cover herself up Jessica Biel drove a foot to her gut then hauled her up and hooked a DDT and drove her head into the mat. From there it was simplicity for Biel to peel the remainder of the outfit off and reveal that Scarlett had no underwear on and her naked body was lying prostrate in centre ring and Biel tagged out and allowed a refreshed Jessica Alba back into the match.

Outside the ring Anne Hathaway had also been stripped naked and Halle had clawed a bloody “HB” onto her bare back before being pulled off by security leaving Anne lying with the whip still around her neck and her pale skin dribbling blood.

In the ring Alba had Scarlett’s legs lifted up and pulled apart to stare down at her shaven snatch just before she stamped down on it repeatedly. The fight had left Scarlett now and it seemed a matter of time before this 2 on 1 effort was done and Jessica Biel seemed in no mood to draw things out. She tagged in and pretty easily hoisted Scarlett into the self same piledriver position Alba had faced, then tagged Alba who climbed to the second turnbuckle. Biel manoeuvred over so that Alba was able to grab Scarlett’s upside down legs then lifted her hand to give the finger to the crowd before licking it and sliding it right into Scarlett Johansson’s asshole and then jumping up to spike piledriver her opponent into the canvas. From there it was an easy three count and “The Jess Express” stood victorious in the centre of the ring.

The winners after 10:52 are Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel – The Jess Express!

*
BACKSTAGE

Carmen Electra is the roving interviewer with the federation and is looking particularly hot in a stars and stripes America flag, two piece bikini. With her hair in pigtails she’s looking too damn cute as she moves to interview two new additions to the roster.

“I’m here with two newcomers who’ll be looking to make an impact in the coming months, British actresses Lena Headey and Emilia Clarke from HBO’s Game Of Thrones. Ladies, can I ask what your ambitions are here?”

“Wait a second! Aren’t you the dumb bimbo who parodied me? Yes, you fucking are!”

This from the permanently angry Lena and she cold cocked Carmen with a haymaker hook that landed flush on Carmen Electra’s jaw, knocking her out to the floor. Lena turned to her blonde colleague and snapped.

“Come on let’s show everyone what we’re about and show this thick cunt what you get when you cross me!”

And with that Lena and Emilia easily ripped Carmen’s itsty bitsy bikini from her pneumatic body. Once she was naked Lena told Emilia to pick her up and the younger blonde eager obeyed, dragging Carmen to her feet and pulling her across to a window to an office in the building. With just a nod of her head Lena sealed Carmen’s fate and Emilia positively powered the Playgirl Centrefold’s face right into and through the glass window!

Emilia left her in the broken frame for a moment and allowed Lena the pleasure of pulling her out, revealing to the camera that Carmen’s face and shoulders were busted open from multiple cuts. Lena stared evilly into the camera and creepily leaned in towards the unconscious Carmen and started to lick at her bloody face before shoving her across to Emilia and they dragged her over to a break out place backstage where the young blonde hoisted the unmoving Carmen up then powerbombed her through a large, glass coffee table, again to the deafening noise of glass shattering.

As Lena and Emilia stared into the camera the view dropped to zoom in on the broken, bloody and beaten Carmen Electra. It looked like the two newcomers had definitely announced their arrival in the Federation!

*
The night was getting ever more violent and chaotic and that trend was sure to continue in the next match – It’s a no holds barred, falls count anywhere battle between two of TV’s biggest stars, Courtney Cox and Teri Hatcher!

These two brunettes are experienced catfighters and have been through plenty of battles but both know that this night could well be their hardest battle as they jockey for position to be a challenger for the world title that will be settled later this evening.

Teri, star of Desperate Housewives, comes to the ring in denim shorts and a black shirt with a denim, armless jacket over that. Her big boots and black, fingerless leather gloves suggest she is ready for a dirty, hard fight. Courtney arrived in black leather shorts, knee high boots and black PVC top that made her look like a Domme. In the ring both veterans stood listening to their introductions and the rules, staring holes in the other waiting for the bell to ring. As she waited for the bell Teri undid the leather studded belt around her waist and slowly wrapped it around her right fist. Seeing this Courtney undid the leather studded collar around her neck and also wound it around her right fist. Both knew this would be a hard, bloody war.

The bell went and they marched up to each other and started throwing hard rights. Within thirty seconds of the brawl commencing both had cuts to their foreheads and were bleeding. Yet neither brunette backed down, slamming closed fists into each other’s faces back and forth until Teri gave first and staggered back into the ropes. Courtney charged at her and clotheslined her right over the top, following her over as they both crashed to the hard outside floor. Cox was on top though and recovered quickest and straddled her foe outside the ring and drove five more unanswered punches to the bloody cut on Teri Hatcher’s forehead, busting it open wider and getting claret flowing freely already.

Courtney tossed her studded collar to the cheering crowd and carefully peeled the belt off Teri’s hand, then she pulled Teri to her knees, stepped behind her and wrapped the belt tightly around her neck and began choking her with it!

What a great visual so early in the match as Courtney Cox stood behind her opponent and squeezed with all her might, forcing more blood to flow down Teri Hatcher’s face. Desperately Teri managed to get to her feet and then push back and reverse as fast as she could. Too late Courtney recognised the danger just seconds before she was propelled hard backwards into the steel ring post outside the ring. That left both bitches sprawled on the ground unmoving and the ref could only look on.

Courtney was really out of it, the back of her head having hit the post square on so it was Teri that rolled over first and slowly crawled over to her foe and covered her with one arm and seemed sure of a quick win until somehow Courtney kicked out at two!

Teri gathered her strength and ignored the drops of blood falling at her hands as she pushed herself up and pulled long haired Courtney with her then with a quick change of velocity Teri whipped Courtney around and sent her flying across the floor in an Irish whip that saw her collide noisily with the steel steps in the corner and send them and Courtney’s body flying into the metal crowd barrier.
A bloodied Teri Hatcher staggered the length of the ring, grabbed Courtney’s long hair, pulled her head back then slammed it forward smashing her face into the top of the metal crowd barrier! Teri wasted no time in pulling a groggy Courtney up and pressing her back first against the barrier before unleashing a barrage of hard chops to her bare neck area finishing up by stepping back only to rush forward and deliver a short clothesline that sent them both spinning over the barrier and into the crowd!

Courtney took the worst of that blow too but somehow managed to kick out when Teri crawled over to get a slow two count in the crowd. As Teri pushed herself to her feet the camera managed to get a close up of her face and man it is crimson from the blood loss. A similar close up on her opponent reveals that Courtney isn’t as badly busted open….yet!

Cox is much slower to get to her feet and she hasn’t even thought about how she has been allowed to rise when Hatcher strikes from behind her with a steel chair. Slamming it hard into the centre of her foes back. Courtney collapses down but rather than cover her Teri stands over her and swings the chair up and down five times, each time connecting hard with her opponents side and back. But to her utter disgust when Teri drops down and covers Courtney again somehow the count is stopped just after two. This infuriates Teri and in a rage she slaps and punches Courtney as she kneels over her prone figure then manages to haul off her top, making Courtney topless in the match. All around them camera’s leap into action getting plenty of snaps of the sexy brunette’s titties.

Teri pulls Courtney up and slaps on a full nelson then marches her deeper into the crowd, letting everyone in the section get either a terrific close up or some a free feel up of her breasts. It’s a humiliating move but also a dumb one as Courtney is recovering as she is paraded around and after a few moments lifts her right leg them jams it down with all the force she can muster onto Teri’s foot. It’s a move that forces Teri to break her hold and pouncing on her opportunity she whirls around and drives a punch into Teri’s gut, doubling her over. Breathing hard Courtney knew this was her chance so she ignored her pain and state of undress and grabbed Teri’s head and spiked it with a DDT into the concrete floor in the crowd area. It took her a few moments to cover her foe but surely she couldn’t kick out? But she did, right before the ref’s hand slapped the ground for the third time!

Both of these warrior women are in a bad way by this point but it is Courtney that is up first with the crowd cheering her on she started laying in both punches and chops to a reeling Teri. They stumble and stagger through the crowd area and to the back of the building and burst through a curtain into the backstage area, the referee trailing them as they brawl wildly.

They’re in the catering area and Teri manages to grab a silver tray and slam it into the top of Courtney’s skull, staggering her and driving her back into a table. As she moved back though Courtney grabbed at anything behind her and picked up a wine bottle by its neck. As Teri moved forward Courtney swung the bottle and with a hideous smash shattered it into thousands of pieces over her opponent’s head. Teri was out before her body hit the ground.

A tired and exhausted Courtney almost fell on top of her foe and the referee counted to three (but in truth could have counted to thirty three). All that remained once Courtney Cox has regained some sense and strength and realised the humiliation of having been stripped topless was for her to return the favour in spades and strip Teri Hatcher completely naked in the backstage catering area and drape her bloody body on one of the tables.

The winner in 12:01 is COURTNEY COX.

*

BACKSTAGE
The camera is zoomed in on a determined looking Eliza Dushku. It pans back and we can see a microphone held before her big lips and as it goes further we see Lindsay Lohan (replacement for the hospital bound Carmen Electra as backstage interviewer) holding the mic up to the stoic Eliza.

LINDSAY: Eliza Dushku. You have been named the new number 1 contender for whoever wins tonight’s main event World Title match between a woman you are very familiar with, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Jennifer Love Hewitt. Can you tell us right now who you are hoping exits that brutal structure, the barbed wire cage, as World Champion?

ELIZA: … (The brunette remain staring silently into the camera).

LINDSAY: Erm, hello? As I was saying, you are in attendance to witness this mammoth match up with, like huge ramifications, can you tell us who you think will win?”

ELIZA:…

LINDSAY: So, erm, well, there you have it. The number one challenger is staying silent over what she sees happening tonight, I guess we’ll have to wait and see what happens later.

As the camera starts to fade away Eliza raises her hand up to her neck and draws her thumb menacing across her throat in an intimidating gesture that leaves no doubt that someone is most definitely in her sights but we can’t be certain who it is.

*
Now things move on to the first of three matches to decide who the inaugural champions of the three divisions will be. First up the battle for the Junior Championship – Sarah Hyland versus Emma Watson. It’s sitcom slut against Hollywood hottie as these two young babes will do battle in a straightforward match to determine who will carry the belt forward.

First out to the ring is the third of the Modern Family babes on this card, sexy Sarah Hyland, and she gets a great reception, mostly due to the tiny, revealing sky blue two piece bikini she is almost wearing. The slim, svelte nymph smiles and waves to the crowd as she strolls to the ring. Her opponent is just as young and just as sexy but is wearing a totally opposite outfit to the ring, clad in a very dowdy, grey one piece swimsuit that has a high neckline and doesn’t reveal much at all. That doesn’t go down too well with the crowd and the young Englishwoman scowls as she stalks to the ring.

In the ring the ref stands between the two nubile starlets and explains the rules then rings the bell. Almost instantly Emma rears back and delivers a vicious slap across her American foes cheek!

As Sarah reeled Emma’s elfen face curdles into an ugly sneer and she marches over to her long haired opponent and sinks her teenage claws into her hair and hurls Sarah over in an Irish whip by the hair into the ropes. As she bounced off them Emma lined up and levelled Sarah with a stiff clothesline that could have knocked her block off. The crowd were none to impressed (other than the fact the impact of falling had nearly dislodged her tiny bra top off her pert breasts). They booed the Harry Potter star heavily and were stunned when ‘good girl’ Emma turned to them and lifted both middle fingers and pointed them at the crowd before dropping her leg in a leg drop right across her opponents slim neck.
Though it had absolutely nothing to do with her thinking, Emma’s next move got the rabid fans cheering her – she reached down to a stunned Sarah and neatly unclipped her bikini top to unveil her pert little titties! The cheers quickly turned to boos though when Emma cruelly dropped her knee right into the base of her opponent’s spine then looped the bra over Sarah’s head and under her chin and pulled back hard, choking her with her own top.

The referee looks on and remonstrates with Emma, ordering her to release the hold at once but Emma just grits her teeth and pulls all the harder until he finally starts a five count. Just after he counts four Emma’s pulling causes the material to stretch so far that it rips and Sarah’s (now beetroot coloured) face springs forward fast and smashes into the canvas of the mat. Emma hands the ref the two bits of bra and stands up over her prone foe.

Emma takes the chance of a couple of cheap shots while Sarah is grounded, first driving her foot into Sarah’s ribs then placing her boot on Sarah’s face and dragging the heel right across her face, which is both hugely disrespectful and sore. She gave a wicked grin at the crowd’s negative reaction to that and stooped to jerk her opponent up by her long, brown hair. She threw Sarah into the ropes and jumped like a salmon for a picture perfect drop kick, but rather than her feet connecting with Sarah Hyland’s jaw she hit nothing and as such crashed hard to the mat on her side – Sarah had somehow managed to grab the ropes and hold on, stopping her momentum back toward Emma.

Even so it was Emma Watson that was first recovered from her bang. As she made it to her feet and winced at the pain in her side Sarah was still hanging on the ropes and rubbing her throat and still catching her breath. The evil young Englishwoman sneered and charged at Sarah but Sarah saw her coming, dipped her head and back dropped Emma out of the ring and clattering onto the floor. Sarah gave a grin herself at that move and raised her hand to acknowledge the crowd’s cheers before the topless tart ran across the ring, bounced off the far ropes and then ran back and sailed through the ropes herself nailing Emma with a wicked dive just as she was struggling to her feet! The crowd went mental at such a suicidal dive. Sarah’s adrenaline was obviously charging and she was to her feet quickly, tugging Emma by her short hair and almost running to slam her face into the metal steel steps, once, twice, three times, four as the crowd counted along with each face slam.

The ref remonstrated but Sarah ignored her and as Emma staggered away Sarah climbed the steps herself and waited for Emma to turn around before launching a a hurancanrana outside the ring that sent both girls spinning on the concrete floor with Emma Watson taking the brunt of the impact. Sarah was riding the wave of momentum now and quickly had Emma up by the hair again and dragged her back to the ring and pushed her under the ropes and back into the squared circle. Sarah nimbly jumped up and waited until Emma was pushing herself back to her feet before she sprang up to the top rope and delivered a killer springboard dropkick to the back of Emma Watson’s skull that sent her flying down on the mat. Sarah rolled over and covered her opponent. ONE..TWO..TH..The ref so very nearly counted three before noticing that Emma’s leg was draped over the bottom rope. She was so lucky to have landed right next to the ropes. Sarah hauled Emma back to the middle of the ring and went for the cover again but by then Emma was recovered enough to kick out at two.

Sarah stood and was contemplating her next move when suddenly scary organ music blared in the arena, the lights went a scary red colour and out from the back walked a tall figure in red. The lights came up and everyone could see Elizabeth Hurly sauntering sexily to ringside, clad in a tight, red catsuit and sporting red devil horns. She looked very sexy and quite wicked. She smirked at Sarah as she came to ringside and just at that moment Emma Watson powered a forearm up from behind right between Sarah’s legs!

Sarah dropped to her knees, holding her hands between her legs and looking pained. Emma locked eyes with Miss Hurley at ringside and gave a slight nod, she got to her feet, held Sarah Hyland’s face between her hands then brutally drove her knee right into her face. The impact was vicious and instant. There was a crack as Sarah’s perfect little button nose was broken and blood started to stream out of both nostrils. She squealed and held her hands to her face and Emma Watson gave a hideous grin at the damage she had wrought.

Dropping to her own knees Emma made a great show of hooking her fingers into her opponents’ bikini briefs and slipping them off her legs. Sarah was still too dazed to prevent herself being stripped naked in centre ring in this title match. Then Liz Hurley got up on the apron of the ring and called to the ref, he turned and started to try and get rid of her. With his back turned Emma slipped one leg hole of Sarah’s panties over her head and down to choke her with and wrenched it in tight. Sarah seemingly had little fight left and couldn’t stop Emma backing towards a corner turnbuckle and ascending it, all the while almost hanging Sarah with her own panties. By the time the ref finally dismissed Liz Hurley, Emma unhooked the panties and tossed them into the crowd and it was simplicity itself to hook in a proper sleeper hold and drag Sarah to centre ring.

Sarah’s cute (but bloody) face was almost purple in colour from lack of air and it was no surprise at all when the referee lifted her arm once, tice then three times and signalled for the bell. Sarah Hyland had been counted out and Emma Watson was the new Junior Heavyweight Champion. But rather than celebrate Emma kept the sleeper hold on and synched it in tighter even as the ref tried to prise her off. As he started to count and threatened to reverse his decision if Emma didn’t release her hold Elizabeth Hurley stalked into the ring and kicked him in the balls from behind, thereby ending his protestations. She then stood demonically over Emma and hissed.

“Finish her!”

Emma tightened her dangerous sleeper hold now and Sarah was showing no sign of life at all and the crowd were holding their breath in anxious fear when a figure ran out from the back wielding a steel chair and slid into the ring and saw both Emma and Elizabeth bail quickly. It was Sofia Vergara and she was swinging the chair hard to see off these two snakes as they circled the ring. Obviously she was there to protect her young co-star.

Finally, Emma and Liz realised there was no point tangling with the enraged Colombian and they backed up the ramp, Emma cockily showing off her new title belt as they retreated. Sofia finally knelt beside Sarah and slowly helped the groggy young star come round.

WINNER: After 7:52 and new Juniour Heavyweight Champion is EMMA WATSON.

*
BACKSTAGE

Sarah Michelle Gellar stares intently at the camera. Her blonde hair is pulled back severely into a ponytail and she looks gaunt and strained. Why shouldn’t she? Tonight she enters a terrible contraption and will do bloody battle with a former friend for the World title. She stares into the camera and speaks, her voice intense and serious.

“People like to compare us Jen, call us contemporaries. I can see where they are coming from, we both made our names in the small screen and then moved into horror movies but never quite broke the big time, did we? But it’s a false comparison. We’re not alike, not at all. I’m blonde, you’re brunette. I’m smart, you’re a dumb bimbo. I survive on my acting talents, you get by with your fat tits.

But the biggest difference between us? I’m going to walk out of that barbed wire cage with the World Title belt. You? You’re not going to walk out of it.”

*

The scene changes to one of Jennifer Love Hewitt watching her rival’s interview on a monitor backstage. She is clearly fuming as she finished pulling tape around her wrists. When she’s finished and the picture on the monitor has frozen on a close up of Sarah’s face, Jennifer lifts the monitor from its cradle and throws it violently against a wall backstage, shattering it and creating a hell of a racket and leaving the crowd (who have watched this on the big screens) anxiously awaiting tonight’s Main Event.

*

Back to the ring and the announcer has just introduced the first team who will be shortly doing battle for the Tag Team Championships- Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox.

They look incredible. The two sultry raven haired babes slink to the ring in matching black satin robes with matching black collars around their necks, they are hand in hand and every few steps stop and fondle and make out with each other until they reach the ring and step between the ropes. As they stand in the corner their opponents are introduced and Jennifer Aniston and Kaley Cuoco march to the ring. Both are wearing their light brown hair long and clad in denim shorts and white vests and staring hard at their opponents in this match. The ring announcer explains the extra stipulation added to this match that the winners of the match will be able to select one member of the losing team to be tied to the ropes and be whipped for two minutes by the winners. As he exits the ring Angelina and Megan step forward and with a theatrical flourish they open their robes to reveal both stars are completely naked (and well shaven) beneath their robes. They fling them away and indicate they will be doing battle nude. As a move its most unexpected and already Jennifer and Kaley are a bit perplexed. But Jennifer tries to take back the mental edge by standing centre ring and demanding that her long time rival Angelina face her first. Angelina just waves her hand dismissively and steps out of the ring, indicating it will be Megan to start for their team.

Jen doesn’t appreciate that move at all and moves forward to curse her out and point her finger at Angelina and accuse her of being chicken. Which is a bit of a dumb move because it allows Megan to charge at her from behind. Turns out it was a double bluff from Aniston though as she has expected as much and stepped to the side and helped Megan Fox ram chest first into her corner to get the bout started with a bang. In a flash Jennifer steps behind the recoiling Megan, hooks her head under her arm and delivers a snap reverse DDT, dropping the younger actresses’ skull into the mat. From there she flips over for a cover and gets a two count already, less than a minute into the bout.

Jennifer was all business and she easily lifted her younger foe and hooked her into a back suplex that slammed into the centre of the ring. She got up glaring at Angelina and pulled Megan’s head up by her hair and slapped it then reached out to her partner and tagged in Kaley. The Big Bang Theory babe went for the same serious look as her partner and entered the ring and the match with a kick to Megan Fox’s gut followed by and double underhook into a suplex that gained a two count. In her corner Angelina Jolie looked totally uninterested. Kaley moved smoothly to kneel on Megan’s back and roll backwards whilst holding both her ankles and her chin, trapping the slim brunette in a textbook bow and arrow submission manoeuvre. But as the ref came round to ask Megan if she gave up he was greeted by the bizarre and off putting sight of Megan Fox laughing hysterically.

While her partner was locked in what should have been a painful submission hold Angelina Jolie dropped off the edge of the ring and strolled casually to the TV announcers desk by the ring and grabbed a spare headset and told everyone what was going on.

“You see my bitch in there? Megan? What you people don’t realise it that she’s a real pain slut. I mean I have done things to that fit little body that would make your eyes water and the bitch loves it! She’s…”

Angelina got no further because Jennifer Aniston had had enough and also left her corner and grabbed her rival by the hair, hauled her out of the announcers chair and flung her into the metal railing behind the desk!
Things were chaotic and out of control. Jennifer Aniston was in a furious rage and was slamming punches into Angelina while ripping her away from the announcers desk. The crowd were going wild at this action and Angelina just stoked it up by firing back with punches and slaps of her own. The two bitter rivals were soon on the floor, rolling about and clawing and scratching at each other and the referee had to come over to get a view from inside the ring. In the ring Kaley finally released her ineffective submission move and shoved a limp (but still grinning Megan) off to join the ref and peer down at the wild catfight at ringside. That was a particularly dumb move as with just a bit of rest Megan Fox saw her opportunity and pounced, diving down and spearing her shoulder right into into Kaley’s knee joint from the side.

Kaley gave a scream of anguish as the impact hit her and her leg buckled and she collapsed to the mat clutching her knee.

Meantime, the ref had stepped through the ropes and was on the floor trying to separate Jen and Angie. Their hatred towards each other made that difficult though and it took another couple of officials before finally they could prise them apart. However, just as they did Angelina smirked at Jen, this enraged Jennifer and she struggled free and landed a headbutt to her foe, cracking their skulls together hard. Angelina went down but when she looked up with blood dripping from a cut on her eyebrow she just licked at it and sneered at her foe. The referee and officials though dragged Jennifer back to her corner of the ring.

While that had been going on Megan had been busy. Not only had she recovered but had taken the chance to jump three times onto Kaley’s injured knee from the side and then slid her into the corner of the ring so her legs were either side of the metal ring post. Which was just in time for Angelina Jolie to arrive back in her corner. Without missing a beat she grabbed Kaley’s injured left leg, pulled it to the side then slammed it inwards, smashing her knee against the metal post. She did that a further three times, each time accompanied by an animalistic howl from poor Kaley.

With the ref having calmed down Jennifer Aniston he turned in time to see Megan legally tagging Angelina who had leapt up to the apron and was holding the tag rope. Angie ignored Kaley though and strode across the ring and spat right on Jennifer and again the referee had to get between the two hellcats. This was the perfect distraction for Megan to drop to the floor and craftily apply a figure four leg lock around the ring post on an increasingly forlorn Kaley Cuoco.

The next few minutes were harsh on Kaley. Angelina and Megan effectively cut the rring in two and managed to keep her in their side. Angelina pulled her up, back her in their corner and proceeded to deliver ten hard chops to Kaley’s chest, they were deliberate and vicious and between each she stamped at Kaley’s knee from the side until with the last the brown haired babe slumped in the corner. That was no respite though as Angie grabbed her by the ankles and swung her up and bounced her to nearer the centre of the ring, Where she proceeded to drive her own knee right into Kaley’s, holding it there and grinding it, all the while shouting.

“Quit bitch! It’s not you we’ll be choosing to whip anyway! Quit, while you can still walk!”

To Kaley’s credit though she would not give in and eventually Angelina relented and dragged her over to her corner and tagged in Megan. That crazy little bitch leapt to the top rope and, as Angelina held Kaley’s leg out straight, dropped both knees down onto Kaley’s injured limb.

That brought Kaley’s loudest cry yet and as Angelina exited the ring and Megan grinned like a loon, Kaley writhed on the canvas and held her knee and was close to actual tears. Jennifer stood in their corner looking angry and concerned; things didn’t look good at all for their challenge. Megan lifted Kaley up and slammed her down with a bodyslam before she crossed to a neutral corner and ascended to the top rope, in preparation of another wicked manoeuvre. She would not get to deliver it. Having seen enough, Jennifer waited until Megan was standing on the turnbuckle before running the length of the ring and shoving Megan off towards the crowd.

Megan flew through the air from that height and took a wild bump, landing half on the metal crowd barrier and half over it. The crowd took a sharp intake of breathe as Megan Fox was folded up over the metal and just lay on it, not moving after the initial impact.

Angelina cursed Jen and demanded the ref DQ her but he dismissed her and ordered both back to their respective corners. On the way Jennifer called to Kaley and shouted at her to crawl to her corner and tag her in. Somehow, ignoring the pain Kaley began to slowly pull herself over towards Jennifer. Outside the ring Angelina was peeling her partner off the metal and supported and carried her back to the ring and shoved her back in. Megan was in a bad state so immediately rolled over and stretched out her arm to tag in Angelina. Just as their hands touched so too did Kaley managed to tag in Jennifer and now, finally the two bitter rivals entered the ring together, their partners out of it with just the two of them to do battle.

And what a battle it was! The two stars flew at each other and crashing into each other in the centre of the ring, their fists flailing. Jen landed a blow, then Angie retaliated. Punch followed punch. Slap followed slap then Jen pulled back to deliver another hard headbutt, right at the same spot she had damaged Angelina before. Angie reared back but did not go down and in an instant fired back a headbutt of her own, even though her own head was busted open. It was sufficient to send both bitches backwards and onto their asses, dazed and the camera quickly picked up that both their foreheads were cut now. But even down they still went for each other. Jen crawled over and jammed her head once more into Angelina’s, driving her skull into her foes eye. As Angelina went back Aniston straddled her and delivered a series of uninterrupted slaps and punches that the crowd roared their approval of.

Jennifer felt a surge of adrenaline. She was on top of her hated rival at last, after so many put downs and defeats and it felt fucking great. She reached down to tug at Angelina’s hair and pull her bloodied head up and pounded punch after punch into her wounded eye. It was swelling and bruising already and the crowd counted each and every blow until they reached ten and Jen relented long enough to hold her arms up to gain the crowds acclaim.

Which was rather stupid because Angelina Jolie was a tough bitch and seeing her chance she lifter her legs, hooked Jennifer’s arms and rolled her over and gained a long two count before Aniston just kicked out. Angie smirked and wiped a trickle of blood off her as she got to her knees to get up but was shocked at the violence behind the kick Jennifer threw, catching her right in the ribs and doubling her over.

“Fucking bitch!” snarled the former Friends star as she reached down to drag Angelina to her feet again. Then in a feat of strength you would have doubted Jennifer hoisted her foes body up and positioned her into a tombstone piledriver position. But just as it seemed curtains for Angelina she shifted her weight and reversed the move and before Jen could do likewise Angelina dropped to her knees and jammed Jennifer’s head into the canvas.

Both women were laid out, exhausted from their exertions. Their partners were back up standing in their corners (though both were along way short of being fully fit) and started to stamp their feet and implore their respective team mates to make the tag out. Jennifer was luckiest, Kaley was far nearer and she just had to lift and slightly stretch her arm to make the tag so a fired up, and still limping Kaley Cuoco to enter the ring. As she did Angelina was crawling half way across the ring and Kaley wasted no time dropping an elbow into Angelina’s spine to halt her progress. It did that and Kaley proceeded to stamp all over Angelina’s back and shoulder with her good leg before dropping another to Angelina’s neck and smoothly transitioning that into a cross face hold that also trapped Angelina’s left arm.

It was good submission move and Kaley strained her body to pull back hard on Angelina while Angelina roared and forced her body to try and get up and ignore the pain. It made quite the sight, the pressure on her head made Angelina bleed more and several trickles came down her face and she powered her way through the move. After a minute she managed to get her knees under her and then to her feet. From there she threw an elbow to Kaley’s gut and whipped her to the ropes. Whereupon Megan Fox had dropped to the floor and reached through the bottom rope and grabbed Kaley’s ankle to make her pause. Kaley spun around and reached down and outside the ring to grab Megan by her hair but just as she started pulling and tearing her up Angelina fired in a chop block to her injured knee.

Angelina then pulled Kaley to centre ring and lifted Kaley’s leg up so that the knee joint was behind Angelina’s neck and Kaley’s body hung limpy down. Angelina synching a tight grip and started to stretch the knee joint and bounce up and down and pull at it and with no hope of escape and pain wracking her body Kaley had no option but to scream her submission just seconds before Jennifer Aniston entered the ring trying to break the move up.

The next few minutes were galling for Jennifer. As Angelina dropped Kaley’s body to the mat she pointed at her rival and grabbed the announcers microphone.

“As per the stipulations we get one of you losers for two minutes of whipping and guess what? We chose you bitch!”

So two security guards tied Jennifer securely to the ropes facing out to the crowd and Megan Fox took great delight stripping her of her top and her shorts, leaving her standing there, helpless and nude and Megan and Angelina picked their weapons of choice. Megan menaced with a thin bamboo cane and Angelina picked a particularly vicious looking riding crop and the two of them proceeded to flay Jennifer Aniston’s ass and lower back for the next two minutes. It was brutal and Jen was crying within half a minute of her flogging and just a desperate, bloody mess by the end.

Security stepped in right on the two minute mark and Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox received their newly won tag title belts and left the arena more than happy with themselves. Kaley had hung around and went to help her partner up but Jen was in no mood for that and made it up under her own steam and carefully exited the ring. It seemed like she had changed her mind and waited for a limping Kaley to help her up the ramp but at the last minute she shockingly kicked her right in her injured knee. It seemed Jennifer had snapped and she stamped down on Kaley’s knee repeatedly in a frenzy, her pretty face screwed up with unbridled hatred. Then she stopped as the crowd booed her and flipped them off. Then she stomped over to the timekeeper and hauled him off his chair. It was the metal folding type and she strode back to Kaley and pulled her leg through it the brutally stamped on it, trapping her damaged knee between the metal of the chair.

Finally, the security managed to break this chaos up and shoved Jennifer away to the back, bloody naked ass and all and tended to the downed Kaley.

The winners and new World Tag Team Champions in 17;52 ANGELINA JOLIE & MEGAN FOX.

*
As the buzz from that wild encounter died down out into the ring stepped Heather Locklear. The commissioner was dressed in a white business suit and looked smart and sexy. She watched concerned as Kaley Cuoco was placed on a stretcher and wheeled out of the arena before taking the microphone in centre ring and addressing the crowd.

“Before we get to the main event, I just want to thank all you fans, both here in the arena and at home watching on PPV for supporting this card. It has been a great success and we’ll be back next month with our next PPV event BITCH BASH and I can now exclusively reveal to you all the full card.

Whoever wins the world tonight will make their first defence against Eliza Dushku.

Cameron Diaz will face Charlize Theron in a steel cage match and whoever quits will be gone from this federation.

Elizabeth Hurley will team with Emma Watson to fight Sofia Vergara and Sarah Hyland.

Anne Hathaway will fight Halle Berry

World Tag Team Champions Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox will face off with Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel

Carmen Electra will face off against Lena Headey

We will see the in ring debuts of both Mila Kunis and Kate Beckinsale

I will personally be inviting Rihanna back to apologise for her treatment earlier tonight

And after what just happened I am making a singles match between Jennifer Aniston and Kaley Cuoco.

And remember folks all these matches will have additional stipulations announced nearer the time.

With that announced Heather looked well pleased with herself and marched back through the curtain to allow the Main Event to get started.

*
And so to the Main Event of the evening. A battle to decide the first ever World Champion. A war to be held in the confines of a steel cage with the ring ropes being replaced by strands of viciously sharp barbed wire. A fight between two former best friends, two stars on the small screen that never quite made it on the big screen, two sexy thirty somethings that both believe they are the best at what they do.

First down to the ring is Sarah Michelle Gellar. The slim blonde has her hair pulled back in a ponytail and as per the set rules for this match is wearing only a white one piece bikini. She had big, designer sunglasses on so no one could read her mood well but she looked serious and focussed and completely ignored the crowd as she stalked towards the steps that led into this hellish contraption. Seconds later Jennifer Love Hewitt appeared on the ramp and approached the cage. She was physically, at least, the polar opposite of Sarah, dark haired, full figured, her amazing breasts and she smiled a lot as she came towards her destiny, slapping the crowds hands and looking confident and happy. Her one piece was a scarlet affair and it displayed her ample cleavage more than adequately. She lost the happy look though when she reached the cage and had to carefully step between the ropes of barbed wire.

Things got even more serious as the ring announcer introduced the two combatants, explained that the winner would be the new World Champion and that as per pre-match stipulation the loser would have their head shaved completely bald. The blonde and the brunette remained stoic and stared at the other in centre ring throughout the introductions and as the announcer withdrew the referee followed him and closed then locked the corner door to the cage, locking the three of them in that terrible structure.
There was a buzz in the arena, the noise rising to a crescendo as the two combatants faced off and the referee signalled for the bell to be rung. The stakes were huge and everyone knew it, no more so than Jennifer and Sarah who slowly, carefully circled each other looking to lock up. Sarah raised her hands and wiggled her fingers, signalling a test of strength and Jennifer met it, locking both their hands tightly in a Greco Roman knuckle lock.

Both beautiful babes grimaced as their fingers tightened and strained and pushed at the other. They gritted their teeth and tried to force the other back towards the wire barbs situated just feet behind them. Their boobs pushing into each other as they toiled and it was Jennifer that took the advantage and slowly began to push Sarah backwards. The blonde gasped and tried to push back but she was losing and realised it and immediately lifted her foot to kick her opponent in the gut then tried to whip Jen into the wire but Jen at the last minute managed drop to her hip and slid to a halt with her feet just below the wire. She glowered up at Sarah and got to her feet.

This time when they locked up it was Jen that lifted her knee into Sarah’s gut and then followed up with three uppercut forearms that sent Gellar wobbling backwards with each blow until she was almost in the wire but as Jen went for a fourth Sarah dropped to the mat and slid between her foes legs and sprang up behind her before leaping up athletically and delivering a perfect dropkick to Jennifer that sent her falling back and landing back first in the three strands of wire behind her.

Jennifer Love Hewitt gave off a scream as both her bare arms were scratched by the wire and one barb jabbed into her back and another into her neck and tangled in her long hair. Sarah grinned and moved forward to ram a kick in Jen’s gut and double her over in the wire (except her hair that was tangled that was torn out) and pulled her opponent roughly out of the deadly ropes. Jen had cuts on both her arms as she was pulled but had no time to consider that as Sarah hooked her head and jumped up and hit a bulldog headlock, slamming the brunette’s face into the canvas hard. But she only got a one count before Jennifer tossed off her cover attempt.
Sarah was not too discouraged though, she had drawn first blood and had the advantage. It was not something she intended to lose. Sinking her fingers into Jen’s long locks she hauled her to her feet and then used her hair to whip her over with a snap mare then dropped down behind her and wrapped her arm around her foes neck in a rear naked choke and squeezed as hard as she could. The crowd were none too impressed, they had come for action and brutality but seeing the blood on both Jennifer’s arms had made Sarah think and she had no intention of going into that sharp wire if she didn’t have to.

Sarah held the hold for nearly a minute and the crowd got more and more agitated and annoyed by the inaction. She also didn’t have the choke hooked properly and it was too early in the fight for this wear down move really so Jennifer was able to somewhat regain her bearings and plan her next move. It came unexpectedly as Sarah tried to squeeze the choke down. Jennifer grunted and forced her legs under her and powered up slowly to her feet. Sarah remained hanging on hoping she could drag her foe down but that was a mistake as she soon found out. Jennifer, once she had made it to her feet, reversed fast and hard and ploughed both of them into a side of the cage and the strands of barbed wire between them tore into Sarah Michelle Gellar’s back just as it smashed into the bars of the cage.

What an impact! The cage wall shook as both combatants lay in a heap in the wire ropes. Jennifer Love Hewitt made it up first and shook off her cobwebs from the ineffectual choke, Sarah Michelle Gellar was not so lucky though. The top strand of barbed wire had dug right into her back and ripped a cut right along it and as she moved she felt a pain right across it as the barb dug deeper into her. Sarah moaned as Jennifer reached down and hauled her up and before she knew it she was Irish whipped across the cage and this time she crashed face first into the opposite wall of the cage. Sarah’s face smacked into the cage wall while the barbs on the wire jabbed evilly into her torso and stomach and she literally hung there, against the cage staring out to the crowd as they cheered the upswing in bloody action.

Jennifer wasted no time and charged at Sarah from behind and lifted her knee and drove it into Sarah’s back and pressed her into the cage and the wire again. Jen was on the blonde now from behind and pressed her body into Sarah’s back and grabbed the blonde’s hair and then used it to pull Sarah’s head back before slamming it forward into the bars of the cage. After two shots like that the crowd counted each time Jennifer bashed her foes pretty face into the solid metal bars.

“ONE.TWO.THREE.FOUR.FIVE.SIX.SEVEN.EIGHT.NINE.TEN!!!!”

After the tenth Jennifer stood back and raised her arms to the crowds acclaim. Sarah still leaned against the cage wall looking dazed, stuck on the barbs which looked like they were on her boobs and now with a definite cut on her forehead from the bashing it had just endured. Jennifer then grabs Sarah’s hair from behind and jerks her out of the cage wall, ripping her from where she was stuck. This tears away a chink of material from Sarah’s white (now with added red stains on back and front) one piece and almost reveals her tits. Sarah falls on her back where Jen drops a big leg across her throat then follows with a cover and gets a two count before Sarah just manages to lift her shoulder up.

With the wire ropes all twisted and loose on two sides of the ring this is becoming less and less like a wrestling match so Jen settles for kneeling beside her opponents head and deliver a series of punches into the cut on Sarah’s forehead, opening the cut further until a red line flows down her forehead and over her left eye. With that done Jennifer lifts her, hooks her head then drops her with a snap DDT, driving Sarah’s bloody face into the mat. Again it’s followed with a cover and again it elicits only a two count. Jennifer beats the mat in frustration, she wants this over as quickly as possible, all too aware of the danger of this battle. She picks Sarah up and Irish whips her into the corner of the cage. It’s a worse blow than normal because there is no padding, just a metal pole with strands of barbed wire and Sarah lands hard on her back in the corner and when Jen come up and boots the blonde in the gut and pulls her from the corner Sarah’s white bikini stays in the wire and is torn off her torso, revealing Sarah Michelle Gellar’s pert naked tits.

Jennifer scoops the topless Sarah up and slams her hard on her back and quickly moves to pull the remnants of Sarah’s outfit off, leaving her stark naked and laid out in centre ring. Jen then delivers two more big bodyslams before kicking Sarah over and straddling her back and wrenching on her Boston Crab submission move.

Sarah cuts quite the figure leaning back in her red swimsuit as she bends and twists Sarah Michelle Gellar like a pretzel and demands a submission. The ref is down in Sarah’s face to hear it if it is preferred when the crowd give a shout and out walks Eliza Dushku to ringside. Eliza is clad in a black leather jacket, black leather trousers and leather boots and is coolly drawing on a cigarette as she approaches the cage. In the cage Sarah is crying out as her back is bent but showing no sign of quitting, Jennifer is straining and with her long hair covering her eyes doesn’t see Eliza’s approach. Which is a problem as Eliza, when she reaches the cage, withdraws her cigarette and casually flicks it through the cage and lands it perfectly in Jennifer Love Hewitt’s face!

The burning end lands on Jennifer’s cheek and she reacts immediately to the hot, unexpected pain, jumping up and breaking the move to swat desperately at her cheek. She sees the cigarette on the mat and stares out of the cage in time to see Eliza standing there lighting another one. Realising what happened Jennifer forgets her foe for a moment and rants at Eliza from inside the cage.

“What the fuck?! What was that about bitch?! You better not try anything else!”

Eliza got right up to the cage and sneered back.

“Oh yeah bitch? Or what?”

Jennifer never got the chance to answer. Sarah didn’t know why the hold had been broken but wasn’t going to wait and see. She knew she had been stripped and was bleeding and seeing her opponent with her back to her in the corner of the cage saw a chance to turn things around. She crawled over on all fours and as Jen and Eliza argued Sarah summoned her strength and drove a punch up and into Jennifer’s cunt from behind. Jen dropped to her knees as Sarah pulled herself up and positioned herself to deliver a low drop kick to Jen’s back and propelled Jennifer Love Hewitt forward to land chest fist on the bottom strand of barbed wire while her face went squarely into the middle strand!

A cameraman zooms in on Jennifer from outside and it is not good for the busty brunette. The lower strand has cut her swimsuit and drawn blood high on her boobs while the second rope has scratched across her mouth and she is bleeding from both sides. While the camera was on her Sarah has got to her feet, taken a couple of steps back then leapt forward landing with both knees in Jennifer’s back and forcing her cruelly further onto the barbed wire. She then gets up and drives her foot into Jennifer’s head and pushes it down and out, trapping the barbed wire between her face and the steel bars of the cage.

Oh this is brutal and Jennifer Love Hewitt is now bleeding quite heavily from around her mouth and barely reacts as Sarah tugs off the red swimsuit and uses the remnants to wrap around her throat and choke her with it as she continues to push her forward and rub her face in the wire and against the cage. Sarah drops the choke soon enough as she grabs the highest of the strands of barbed wire and pulls it down just low enough to guide it right into her opponents exposed forehead and the proceeds to dig it into Jen’s skull and then rubs and grinds it in for all she is worth. When Sarah finally relents things are looking like a blood soaked horror movie in the ring. Jennifer Love Hewitt’s face is almost entirely coated in the bright claret of her own blood. Her face is red and it is dripping down onto her tits too so she looks like something out of an abattoir.

Sarah takes the chance to wipe her own blood from her eyes and while she does that and the ref watches her Eliza takes her next cigarette and casually stubs it out through the cage on Jennifer’s forehead. You can literally see the sizzle of steam as her hot ash collides with Jennifer’s plasma!

Sarah drags Jennifer out from the wreckage of the wire at that side of the cage and carefully plants her naked butt on her lower back, hooks Jennifer’s limp arms over her shoulders and cups her hands under Jennifer’s chin then pulls back in a textbook camel clutch manoeuvre.
It makes for quite the striking visual as Sarah Michelle Geller strains backwards and bends Jennifer Love Hewitt’s neck unnaturally. All the while you can actually see rivulets of fresh blood drips down Hewitt’s ruined face and drip to the mat. But incredibly despite her state Jennifer is shakes her head when the ref asks if she wants to quit. But it’s a weak refusal and as Sarah pours on further pressure the camera actually captures the point where Jennifer’s eyes roll up in her head and she passes out unconscious in the move. It takes a moment or so for Miss Gellar to realise this but when she does she releases the Camel Clutch and drops Jennifer’s limp body on the mat, rolls her over and places her foot on Jen’s bloody tits for the ONE..TWO.. THREE!

The bell rings and the announcer tells everyone that THE WINNER FIRST EVER WORLD CHAMPION in 10:01 is SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR!

The cage is opened and both her new title belt and a toiletry bag are handed to the referee. A tired Sarah hugs and kisses the belt but quickly turns to the bag, this is yet another great moment for the blonde – the opportunity to shave Jennifer Love Hewitt bald and publicly humiliate her. Jen is still out of it and a medical team are trying to gain access to the cage to attend to her but Eliza blocks them off and puts a padlock on the door and shouts to Sarah to get a move on. Sarah looks a little confused but isn’t going to stop to ask questions now and empties the bag to reveal a pair of scissors and an battery powered pair of hair shears. She sits Jen up and then goes to work with the scissors.

With undisguised glee she wrecks Jennifer Love Hewitt’s famous, beautiful brown tresses, tossing the long strands in the air as she hacks them off. Once she has got Jennifer’s hair quite short the shaver is used and just as Jennifer is gaining her senses it is to find her being shaved bald and covered in her own blood. Sarah gets the job done, leaving Jennifer a bald headed freak and as Jen tries to get up and stumble to the cage door Sarah lifts her belt and smashes it down on her naked skull, knocking her out again.

However, as Sarah lifts the belt high and celebrates her victory and humiliation of a great rival Eliza unlocks the door, sneaks in then relocks the door, pocketing the key. Sarah turns to show the belt to the other side of the arena and walks straight into Eliza Dushku carrying and using a taser gun. She stabs the electricity spouting gun into Sarah’s bare midriff and fires a long burst into her.

Sarah drops the belt, her eyes go wide then she shakes with the paralysing impact of the volts and drops, shaking to the canvas. From there Eliza moves over to the discarded scissors and shaver and proceeds to do to Sarah Michelle Gellar what she had done to Jennifer – shave her head completely bald!

The PPV ends with both Sarah and Jennifer lying naked and bald in centre ring while Eliza Dushku picks up the title belt and seems to be imagining how it would fit around her waist…
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