BITCH BASH
By Dark Cloud

A sell out crowd go berserk as the intro video for this mega PPV comes to an end and the run down of matches completes, and the theme tune to the hit HBO series Game of Thrones hits. Every head turns to the entrance ramp and there stands actress Lena Headey. She looks every inch the haughty, uber bitch that she portrays in the show, Queen Cersei Lannister. She is wearing a crown and a grey, one piece, elegant swimsuit and she totally ignores the baying crowd as she regally glides towards the ring.

As she enters a video piece plays, showing her actions at Bitchmania, where she and Emilia Clarke destroyed tonight’s opponent, Carmen Electra backstage, throwing her head through a window, stripping her naked then powerbombing her through a glass table, leaving her bloody mess.

Carmen’s music hits and she power walks to the ring, trailed by her second for the night, Lindsay Lohan, who has sworn to watch her fellow backstage interviewers back tonight. Lindsay is half drunk though and swigging from a bottle of wine as she staggers behind her friend.

As Carmen enters the ring and glares across at her implacable foe the viewer cannot help but be struck by the stark contrast in competitors. Carmen is the typical America tanned beauty, large (surgically enhanced) breasts trapped in a skimpy red bikini, long, beautiful hair, bubbly and energetic. While Lena is a slim, aloof, pale lady with a straight back and cold eyes. The bell rings and this opener gets under way.

There’s no subtlety about Carmen’s attack, just a wild charge across the ring swinging her fists wildly and raining blows down on Lena. The Englishwoman just stood there and absorbed them for the most part, Carmen was untrained and her blows hardly found their mark until one last one snagged Lena on the nose and staggered her. Seeing this at ringside Lindsay raised her arms, cheered then took a swig. Encouraged Carmen drove her foot into her foes gut then wrapped her arm around her head and went for a DDT. It didn’t hit it’s mark, Lena reached back while doubled over and hooked the ropes so all Carmen succeeded in doing was falling back, hard on her own spine.

Lena casually reached down and hooked the Playboy model’s long hair and wrenched it so that she dragged Carmen up by it and in an instant lashed in a lightning fast knife edge chop that sent Carmen reeling back into the nearest corner. That was no escape though and Lena advanced and lashed four more vicious chops in until Carmen’s chest turned red. Lena grabbed Carmen’s wrist and physically pulled her out of the corner to Irish whip her right the way across so that the American smashed back first in the opposite corner. Following right behind that Lena came crashing in with a clothesline in the corner, squashing her foe and driving the wind from her body. Carmen groaned and slumped in the corner but Lena was giving her no space and had her hand in her hair again and was about to drag her up when suddenly Lindsay appear below them outside the ring. Lena glared at the drunk bitch and was going to say something when Lindsay spat a mouthful of alcohol right into the English woman’s eyes!

While that was going on Carmen had dropped to her knees and with her foe distracted fired an uppercut right between Lena’s legs, smashing into her pubic mound!

Lena staggered back, suddenly ignoring the wine in her eyes and grabbing at her injured crotch with both hands. Carmen, seizing her chance pulled herself up with the ropes then dashed forward and levelled her blinded opponent with a hard clothesline that dropped the English actress flat on her back.

At ringside Lindsay raised her bottle and cheered again seeing Carmen take control. But she did not see the blonde figure of Emilia Clarke storming down to ringside behind her. The blonde Game of Thrones actress and Lena’s partner wielded a heavy chain and before Lindsay knew what was happening Emilia had wrapped it around her neck from behind and began choking her out with it. Even as the drunken Lindsay sunk to her knees she managed not to spill a drop from her bottle and even dropped it so that it stayed upright.

In the ring Carmen sneered at Lena and casually spat on her face before reaching down to haul her to her feet by her hair. But as Lena came up so too did her right hand to stab her thumb right into Carmen’s throat! The model look stunned for a moment before the full impact hit and she grabbed at her throat and struggled for breath. While she did that Lena got to her feet under her own steam then moved to hit her opponent with a neckbreaker, dropping Carmen to the canvas.

Meanwhile, outside the ring Lindsay had managed to escape Emilia’s chain choke by stamping her heel down on her foot. But Lohan was by no means safe, she was still gasping for breath and dropped to her knees. Which left her perfectly placed for Emilia to grab up the wine bottle then batter it down on Lindsay’s skull! The bottle shattered into a million pieces apart from the broken, jagged neck which Emilia held in her hand. Lindsay was stunned and dazed and about to fall over when Emilia caught her by the hair and then brutally jabbed the jagged glass into Lindsay’s face and ground it in. Lindsay’s screams were blood curdling and when Emilia moved back it revealed that Lindsay was bleeding heavily from the face.

Back in the ring Lena followed her neckbreaker up by rolling Carmen onto her front then kneeling on her back and gripping her foes head in a vicelock and hauling back hard. This also allowed Lena to regain her wind and once she had she stood up then dropped Carmen with vicious jumping DDT. Carmen was done and Lena could have pinned her but rather she scooped her up and manoeuvred over to a corner then stood on the first rope in the corner and muscled Carmen up into a piledriver position then jumped up and off the first rope.

You could literally see Carmen Electra’s neck compact into the canvas as the piledriver hit and as she lay there unmoving Lena stood up, placed her foot on Carmen’s chest and demanded a superfluous three count from the referee.

Your winner in 4:32 is LENA HEADEY.

Emilia entered the ring to raise her partner’s hand and then exited with her to a chorus of boos. They had absolutely destroyed the two popular backstage interviewers, Carmen with a damaged neck and Lindsay bleeding outside like a stuck pig. These two Game of Throne actresses certainly look to be making name for themselves in the promotion.

*

Backstage the last of our interviewers still conscious, Kim Kardashian, is at the door at the back of the building as a figure in dark glasses with a big hat hobbles into the arena.

“Jennifer Love Hewitt! Jennifer! Over here!”

JLH (for it is she) does not look happy at being spotted but stops as Kim hurries over to her and thrusts her microphone under her nose.

“Jen, what are you doing here? You’re not scheduled to fight tonight. Are you here to see the World Title match?”

As Jennifer goes to compose an answer she is cut off as she is smashed into from the side. Her head is thrown back and cracks against the metal rolling door behind and she slumps down groggily as her attacker comes into camera shot. Perhaps unsurprisingly it is Eliza Dushku.

The brunette spits at Jennifer and growls at her.

“Oh no you don’t bitch. You’re not going to ruin my night, I will be World Champion tonight, come what may!”

Of course it was Eliza’s interference at Bitchmania that cost Jennifer Love Hewitt so dearly. Costing her the World Title and then her hair in the brutal Main Event of the inaugural PPV. Eliza doesn’t speak for long though and tears off Jen’s dark glasses and hat revealing her ugly skinhead and scars from that barbed wire battle with Sarah Michelle Gellar. Eliza then starts driving bare fisted punches to those forehead scars and within a few blows she’s bleeding again and sprawled on the hard floor.

Kim Kardashian meantime is pointing all this out to backstage staff who rush over to pull a wild Eliza off her prey. The men dragged a still punching Eliza away and then the camera zoomed in on poor Jennifer who looked knocked out and was bleeding from her scars as she lay awkwardly against the large, metal door.

I guess she won’t be interfering in the World Title match scheduled for later in the show…

*

Next on the card we have a match up with two debuting brunette beauties. First to the ring for this one fall or submission straight wrestling match is Katie Holmes, and she is looking distinctly nervous. Clad in a grey bikini that was only a one piece because of the ring that held both parts of her bikini together over her belly button, she had her long hair in pony tail and while giving little waves to the crowd she was also on the look out for any kind of attack. Since splitting from her mega star husband, Tom Cruise, rumours of a bounty on her head had been gathering momentum and here would be as good a place as any for such an attack.

Her opponent is much more happier looking. Mila Kunis bounds out from behind the curtain and literally skips to ringside in just a very skimpy, black sports bra and shorts outfit.

Both are making their debuts tonight and given her perkier attitude and sexier attire it seems like Mila is getting the stronger reaction from the crowd. The bell rings and they lock up but Katie still looks distracted and keeps glancing over her shoulder, which allows the smaller girl to arm drag her over and spinning onto her back. That got Katie’s attention and she looks more focussed after that move.

Katie was up to her feet sharp and plunged forward to grab Mila but the smaller girl easily evaded her with a side step then effortlessly jumping up and landing a picture perfect dropkick to the back of her opponent that sent Katie sprawling face first into the ropes. As she lay prone over the second rope Mila easily vaulted over the top rope and came down with a huge legdrop that crashed into the back of Katie’s head and sent her springing backwards grabbing her throat. Mila had barely landed before she was on her feet then springboarding to the top rope and nailing Katie with a splash off the top rope followed by a sharp cover.

That got a two count before Katie kicked out but even then the spry Kunis was on her in a flash, jerking her up to her feet then whipping her into the ropes and aiming another perfect dropkick. Or it would have been perfect if Katie had made the return journey. Instead she managed to hook the ropes with her arms and watched as her foe crashed hard on her back to the canvas. A stunned Mila forced herself up to her knees but that only meant she was in perfect position for Katie to charge forward and drive her knee into Mila’s face. The pace slowed now after that breathless start, as Mila felt her face and Katie stalked over to tower above then jerk her up by her hair into a facelock that she dropped back swiftly with into a DDT. Katie turned and covered but only registered a two count.

And then movement outside the ring. Someone had jumped the barrier, a figure clad in black trousers, black leather jacket and a balaclava. The shape indicated a woman. Katie saw her and was distracted walking over to the ropes to glare down at the mysterious figure who held up a bounty poster with Katie Holmes face in it. In a flash Katie leaned back then used the ropes to propel herself up and over the top nailing the figure with a plancha dive that flattened them both at ringside. The figure rolled away as Katie got up but inside the ring Mila had climbed to the top turnbuckle and as soon as Katie was upright she dived off and crashed into Katie with a suicidal dive out that totally nailed her.

The crowd loved that and cheered as Mila made it up to her feet and picked up her foe and rolled her back into the ring under the bottom rope. She waited a few moments before leaping to the tope rope and launching herself forward, wrapping her thighs around Katie’s head and simultaneously falling backwards nailing her opponent with a hurancanrana that flipped Katie over onto her back with Mila holding on and pulling back into a cover.

ONE…TWO…THREE!

The winner in 5:51 is MILA KUNIS.

After as Mila celebrates the masked figure slides into the ring and takes out wire ties from her pocket she rolls Katie Holmes over onto her front then pulls her arms back behind her and tightens the ties around her wrists With her prey immobilised she starts to haul Katie to her feet when she’s suddenly struck by a dropkick to the face. Mila has seen enough and is coming to the aid of her opponent. Mila’s foot had managed to get caught in the balaclava so that when she moved away the headgear came with her and the whole world can see the would be bounty hunter is none other than actress Kate Beckinsale!

Not that MIla can because she is bent over trying to free Katie’s wrists. Which means she doesn’t see Kate reach into her pocket and draw out a tazer style gun which she aims then fires into Mila’s back!

Mila Kunis’s lithe body jerked and spasmed wildly until Kate finally released her hold on the shock gun whereupon Mila flopped helplessly to the canvas. Then Kate turned her attention just in time to find the tall brunette rolling under the bottom rope and running up the ramp away from the ring. Kate Beckinsale had a rueful expression on her face before she exited the ring and stalked menacingly after her target. Lying helpless in the ring Mila Kunis did not look like the winner of this contest.

Things are far from over for Katie Holmes though as just as she reached the top of the ramp a figure emerges from backstage and in a flash hammers down a brutal chair shot to Katie’s skull! With her arms cuffed behind her back Katie couldn’t block any of that wicked blow and crumples to the ground like a rag doll. Holding the chair aloft the crowd and camera can see it is Nicole Kidman that has perpetrated this assault, though with her new short, blonde hair she looks a lot different. Evidently Nicole is after that bounty as she hauls the helpless Katie to her feet.

Kate Beckinsale has stopped now, halfway up the ramp realising that she’s lost her shot at the bounty to Tom Cruises’ other ex wife and can only watch as Nicole drags Katie along before incredibly propelling her off the ramp side where she plummets to the floor in a fifteen foot drop and through a wooden table to lie in a pile of shattered wood on the ground. The crowd chant “Holy Shit! Repeatedly as Katie was totally unable to protect herself on that floor and crashed to the ground on her front. Looks like the Aussie Kidman will more than collect with that kind of demolition job on Katie Holmes.

*

“I just hope you fucking well know what you’re doing Heather!”

We’re taken backstage and Commissioner of the Federation and special referee for tonight’s big singles cage match between partners Charlize Theron and Cameron Diaz, Heather Locklear is being addressed by the company’s President, Sharon Stone.

“I do Ms Stone. I am going in there to make sure the rules and followed to the letter, we can’t have those two running amock.”

“Hmm. You know I want to be a promotion that sticks to our stipulations. By that score I will have lost a major draw by the time this match is over, won’t I?”

“I guess so. But if you’re not happy with the job I’m doing you can always fire me.”

“No, that won’t be necessary Heather. Just make sure that whoever submits in that cage does so loud and clear so there’s no room for any question that they are quitting my Federation, OK? And to make extra sure I’m going to come down there myself and act as referee outside the cage.”

Heather (who looks pretty cute in her cut off ref top) doesn’t look convinced that this is a good idea but she just nods and agrees with her boss.

*

Our third match of the PPV is a grudge match stemming from the events of BitchMania I. Anne Hathaway and Scarlett Johanssen had been battling the tag team of Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel, with the winners likely to become number one contenders for the tag team belts, when Hathaway was attacked outside the ring by an enraged Halle Berry. Berry choked her out then scratched her up basically confirming this had everything to do with their relative turns as Catwoman on the big screen.

Whereas Anne had been universally praised for her latest iteration of the female feline, Halle’s had been roundly condemned and just when she thought the embarrassment had been over, here came all the comparisons to Anne’s and it had driven Halle a little bit crazy, hence her sneak attack then demolition of Anne at the last PPV.

Halle was unrepentant afterwards and the challenge had been made and accepted for a leather strap match at this PPV. Anne is first to the ring, clad in a long satin bathrobe which, once in the ring, she takes off to show all she is wearing is a tiny black thong (as per the match stipulations). Halle meantime makes her entrance far more dramatically, dressed in her old Catwoman outfit and manically lashing her bullwhip as she approached the ring. Anne stoically watches as Halle takes off her outfit and too is clad in only a small pair of black pants. At this point the referee enters with the long, brown, leather strap and loops each end around the right wrists of the two combatants before signalling for the bell.

There was a beautiful contrast between the combatants, emphasised as they circled each other while attached to the leather strap, jockeying for an opening. The younger, porcelain skinned Anne versus the chocolate coloured, older Halle. The calm confidence of Hathaway versus an almost feral madness that lived in Halle’s eyes.

Halle was doing her best to put Anne off, she was lifting her arm and snapping the strap down and also pulling at it to try and draw her opponent off balance. Anne was holding back though and trying to take this match at her own pace. Eventually Halle lost patience and gave up pulling on the strap and charged forward at her opponent. This is what Anne had been waiting for and she used her speed to avoid the charge and use the strap to trip Halle right onto her front. In an instant Anne leapt onto Halle’s back and gave her a series of slaps and blows to the back of her head before trying to get the strap over Halle’s head and under her chin in an attempt to pay her back for choking her out at the previous PPV. Halle was too fresh for that though and used her hand to block the strap getting into position and eventually Anne had to settle for driving a forearm to Halle’s shoulders, then standing up and stamping her foot lower into her back.

Realising her initial attempts had gone awry Halle wasted no time rolling under the bottom rope to take a break and clear her head but as she started to walk away she found herself stopped in her tracks by a tug from the other end of the strap. Halle then looked up right as Anne gave an almighty pull on the strap which saw the black woman’s face career comically into the corner post outside the ring!

Despite the restrictions of the strap tethered to her wrist Anne ran towards the ropes and at the last minute performed a baseball slide under the bottom rope so that her feet caught Halle in the chest and sent her crashing to the floor. That got Anne a rousing cheer from the crowd and she pumped her arm in appreciation as she reached down and grabbed her opponent by the hair to pull her to her feet. Anne grabbed her and whipped her hard into the metal crowd barrier, leaving Halle bent backwards over it, her face a picture of pain. Halle rolled slightly to her side to peel herself off the barrier but in doing so she exposed an expanse of her brown back to Anne, who wasted no time doubling a length of leather up and used it to lash against her foe’s back!

Halle cried out but got another lash then a third and forth as she fell to her hands and knees and tried to crawl away. Anne just kept on whipping as Halle crawled, forcing Halle to eventually turnaround on her knees and plead for clemency. Anne held the strap up and considered her pleas, which was a cardinal error as Halle saw the hesitation, grabbed at the strap and pulled for all she was worth, sending Anne Hathaway stumbling forward, tripping over Halle and cracking her head against the rings steps!

Halle now had an advantage but she couldn’t capitalise immediately as she slowly got to her feet but once she was up she stamped down viciously with her boot to the back of her opponent’s skull and smacked it onto the floor further stunning her. Then the chocolate coloured movie star took great delight paying Anne back in spades for the nasty whipping she had just endured. As the referee stood helplessly in the ring Halle took to whipping Anne Hathaway’s exposed back like a government mule. The red, angry welts showed up perfectly against Anne’s pale skin and very soon her whole, naked back was positively beet red as Halle finally ended a frenzy of whipping that must have seen almost twenty unanswered lashes of the strap.

Halle hauled Anne up by her hair and pushed her under the bottom rope back into the ring and then crawled in after her and covered her.

Perhaps it was the hot sensation of her injured back being pinned to the canvas, perhaps it was her desire not to lose but Anne’s arm sprang up as the referee’s count reached two and kicked out much to Halle’s anger. In fact it looked like Halle was losing her marbles alright as she pulled at her own hair before using her claws to rake viciously across her opponents face and leave four cat scratches there. As Anne cried out and lifted her hands to her face Halle stood over her, facing Anne’s feet and kicked her foes legs apart and lifted the strap up then lashed it down right on Anne’s barely covered pussy!

Anne squealed at that as Halle lifted the strap again to deliver a second such blow and out of desperation Anne reached up and shoved Halle away so she rocketed forward and through the middle ropes and to the floor, hitting the ground and having her arm hanging up by the tethered end.

Both women were down and counting their aches and pains and both took a little while to rise. But seeing Halle outside the ring, again Anne went for a high risk move and ran at the ropes and leapt through them and crashed into Halle with a cross body block to the outside that flattened Halle on her back. Anne got such a rush from hitting the move she ignored her throbbing back and knelt over Halle, wrapped the leather around her fists and delivered twenty unanswered punches to her black actress before rising and meeting the crowd’s loud acclaim.

This time it was Anne’s turn to haul Halle to her feet by her hair and roll her back into the ring. Following quickly after Anne didn’t bother with a cover, instead picking her up and Irish whipping her into the ropes before looping the strap into a loop and hooking it around Halle’s neck on the way back and instantly dropping down to hit a brutal looking neckbreaker that dropped Halle on her back. This time Anne did cover and very nearly got the three count before Halle somehow kicked out.

Keeping the strap around Halle’s neck Anne grabbed it and began pulling at both ends, throttling her in a throw back to Bitchmania where Halle had used a whip to choke Anne out in her tag match. Halle took a second to react but when she did her eyes went wide and she started thrashing about trying to free herself. Anne rolled her over though and kneeled on Halle’s back to give her extra leverage while a concerned referee could only look on (strap matches are No DQ by their nature, he’s only there to count to three or accept a submission). Halle is frantic by this stage and maybe that accounts for a last burst of strength that allows her to push up to her knees then, slowly up to her feet. Anne holds on though still desperate to choke her out. Halle stumbles and falls towards the ropes and Anne goes with her and then out and over the top rope but in a stunning twist of fate as Anne sails over the top rope the strap has wrapped itself around her neck and with Halle holding the other end Anne ends up hanging over the ropes, her legs a foot or so short of the floor!

Oh this is gruesome and the crowd intake their breathe sharply as Anne desperately struggles to get her feet up and onto the mat. She somehow manages it but by then Halle has unwrapped the strap from her own neck and recognising Anne’s situation she casually kicks Anne’s feet from under her again and once again hangs the white girl over the ropes, this time gripping the other end of the strap tight and adding to the viciousness of the choke. Anne’s face has turned virtually purple by then and with the ref in her face she has no choice but to grab him and tap him in the chest frantically, tapping out and submitting. He signals for the bell but still Halle stands in the ring pulling on the strap seemingly intent of finishing her foe off for good until the ref manages to break her hold on the strap and Anne drops like a sack of potatoes the last couple of feet to the floor.
The winner in 11.20 is HALLE BERRY and while we know Anne Hathaway was the better on screen Catwoman I guess it’s not so clear who is the better catfighter.

*

Backstage. The camera is focussed on a serious looking Jennifer Aniston. Jen is taping up her wrists as she sits on a wooden bench. Her appearance on the big screens in the crowd elicits a smatter of cheers but equally as many boos. People have not forgotten the way she turned on her partner, Kaley Cuoco at the last PPV and cruelly attacked her leg for costing them the match, the title and condemning Jennifer to a harsh whipping from Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox.

But Jennifer has always been a fan favourite and not everyone is giving up on her yet – either in the audience or in the locker room. The camera zooms back to reveal Courtney Cox (who gets a great cheer from the watching crowd) come and sit beside her friend and former co-star. Jen barely affords her a glance as she concentrates on the tape.

“Jen, honey? Don’t take this too far. I get it, I understand, you think Kaley let you down by submitting but you know as well as I do that these things happen in wrestling, you’ve submitted before, so have I, everyone has to do it sometime.”

Aniston grunts and continues to tie her tape, before responding without even looking at her friend.

“So what are you asking for Court? That I should go easy on her? That I should let the useless bimbo just win? No chance. She needs to toughen up and I’m going to do just that. I know I maybe went too far after the tag title match but you have to understand the circumstances, you saw what Jolie did to me?”

“Yeah, but she’ll get her’s someday, you know that?”

“Sure. But this is the big leagues and Kaley better learn that quickly, and I’m going to teach her that lesson tonight.”

Courtney looks visibly worried, whether for her friend or for Kaley Cuoco isn’t apparent but she touches Jennifer’s arm only for it to get pulled away.

“I’m just saying Jen, don’t go too far.”

“Yeah, whatever…”

*

Our next match up is a tag team grudge match, pitting two of the stars of TV’s “Modern Family” against two posh, stuck up English actresses – it’s Sofia Vergara and Sarah Hyland versus Elizabeth Hurley and Junior Heavyweight Champion, Emma Watson!

Out first are the two E’s, Elizabeth in a skin tight red catsuit and her trademark devils horns and Emma in a black latex outfit that is a million miles from her good girl image in the movies. They are accompanied by a third figure, clad in a voluminous monk’s hood and robe and it’s not until the three reach the ring that Elizabeth pulls back their hood and reveals the newest member of her cult, Keira Knightly!

Keira stays on the outside while her stablemates enter the ring and look ever so smug and haughty as their opponents emerge at the top of the ramp. Sofia and Sarah have back up too, in the form of Julie Bowen who looks fired up to get in the ring herself as the three sitcom starlets bound towards the ring. After their introductions Sofia and Elizabeth exit the ring and leave the two lighter, younger fighters to kick things off.

And what a start they give us! The first two minutes are a chain wrestling masterclass, with armdrags, flips, pins, kick outs, and fast moves that leave the crowd gasping at these two lithe, beauties skills in the ring. That all comes to an abrupt end though when Sarah cinches on a side headlock in centre rings, Emma pushes them towards the ropes and Elizabeth casually reaches out and grabs Sarah’s ponytail and jerks it back as Emma pushes her back towards the opposite ropes. The net effect is to send Sarah crashing on her back to the mat and wind her instantly. The crowd boo vociferously and Julie makes to go around the ring to remonstrate but the ref leans through the ropes and points her back to the corner outside the ring as Emma makes the tag and allows Elizabeth into the ring for the first time.

Oh and Elizabeth Hurley is just so smug as she slowly enters through the ropes, taking her sweet time bending over to move over the middle rope with her long legs. She reaches down and lifts Sarah up and in one fluid motion wraps her hands around the young American’s throat and then hoists her up in a double handled choke that raises her high above the canvas. The referee starts a count but Liz just smirks at his admonishments and waits until he gets past four before pushing up with her choke and dropping Sarah hard on her back, almost in a variation of a powerbomb.

In her corner Sofia is cursing and swearing in Spanish at Liz but the English woman ignores that and stalks to Sarah’s head, lifts her easily up to her feet and slips it between her thighs and this time it is a proper powerbomb, easily swinging Sarah up, then pushing her higher into the Last Ride type position then dropping her down hard to the canvas. What an impact! Sarah Hyland is left sprawled motionless and Liz just places her boot on her chest and demands a cover.

One..Two.. Thr…

Clearly it would have been match over had Sofia Vergara not entered the ring, charged across it and speared Elizabeth Hurley in the gut. Then once she had her down the Colombian was in a frenzy and got the mount position and started to wail away with wild punches and slaps to the English woman’s face. The referee had to physically manhandle Sofia off of her foe and drag her back to her corner. Elizabeth meantime took the chance to tag in her partner.

Emma Watson sprang to the tope rope in her corner’s turnbuckle and then leapt up and down with a headbutt from the top rope. At the very last second Sarah Hyland rolled to her right and Emma Watson’s move caught nothing but canvas!

That got quite the reaction from the buzzing crowd, and with Julie Bowen acting as cheerleader, smacking the mat with both hands in unison, Sarah somehow began to crawl across the ring and stretch out to make the hot tag to a fired up Latino.

Sofia stormed into the ring just as Emma was up to her knees and the busty Colombian met in mid stride with a vicious knee to the face that sent Emma flying again. Sofia wasted little time grabbing Emma by her short hair and hauling her to her feet then Irish whipping her with venom into her corners turnbuckle. Taking no pause Sofia charged in after Emma hit and avalanched her in the corner, her red, bikini clad breasts right up in the young actress’s face. Still in an offensive mode Sofia turned and hooked Emma’s head then jumped out of the corner to nail a bulldog headlock and then move into a cover for a long two count before Emma barely kicked out.

From there Sofia hoisted Emma up easily up so that she lay face down across her shoulders and turned to face an disinterested looking Elizabeth Hurley, pointed at her and almost dared her to get in the ring before bending her knees, jumping up and to the side and smacking Emma down with a death valley driver. This time Sofia’s cover surely would draw a three count but as the official’s count was raised to the third slap of the mat Keira Knightly came to life and reached under the bottom rope to grab Sofia by the ankle and drag her off Emma and out of the ring.

For that Keira got a hard forearm smash to her face from Sofia before she rolled back into the ring and plucked Emma up again, this time into a military press that she held for a few seconds before tossing the slight actress out of the ring and onto the recovering Keira. Sofia followed that with a quick tag to Sarah then turned and ran across the ring to launch into a hair pulling catfight with Miss Hurley!

With the ringside in chaos Sarah stepped into the ring, bounced off the ropes and ran full tilt towards the opposite ones and jumped up and over them and soared high then crashed down hard on the sprawling Keira and Emma. Meantime Sofia and Elizabeth were rolling around on the ground ripping and clawing at each other and basically ignoring everything else. Sarah popped up quickly from her insane dive and dragged Emma with her and rolled her back into the ring. From there the lithe Miss Hyland sprang up to the top rope and nailed a disorientated Emma Watson with a springboard missile dropkick that sent her flying across the ring.

Sarah was ablaze now and crouched, poised to strike as Emma slowly got to her feet. Behind her Keira Knightly was pulling herself up onto the apron but was cut off from interfering by Julie Bowen grabbing her feet and tugging her unceremoniously off the ropes and crashing back to the floor. With Emma finally up to her feet Sarah jumped and kicked the back of her neck then lifted her and delivered a pedigree like manoeuvre in centre ring, then with Emma all but out of it Sarah ascended to the top turnbuckle and unleashed an amazing shooting star press that hit it’s mark and was followed up with the 1,2, 3 count and a victory for her team!

The bell rang but no one could separate Sofia and Elizabeth who were ripping and tearing at each other until finally Keira Knightly managed to separate them and drag her leader (and a stunned Emma away from the ring).

The winners after 12:33 are The Modern Family of SOFIA VERGARA & SARAH HYLAND.

*
Sarah Michelle Gellar stands staring at the camera as Kim Kardashian thrusts a microphone under her face. The World Champion has a pair of dark glasses on and a black baseball cap and the title belt is over her shoulder. She does not look happy.

“SMG, tonight you’ll have your first title defence against the woman that helped you win the belt then shaved your head bald. How…”

Kim was rudely cut off as Sarah shoved her hard to the side and grabbed the microphone.

“Fuck off bitch before I give you a lesson in respect!”

Glaring at the camera Sarah pulls off her hat to reveal her shorn head with just a centimetre of hair on it, then she takes off her glasses to reveal the scars and faded bruises from that brutal main event at Bitchmania.

“And she did not help me win the title, I beat that bitch Hewitt on my own. But Eliza you made a huge mistake attacking me after the bout was over and ruining my greatest moment. You’re going to get the receipt tonight bitch. I saw what you did to Hewitt earlier. Guess what, I don’t care! Tonight, No DQ, you get your chance to win this but you won’t. I’ll make you tap out bitch and beg to give up and afterwards, well if you thought shaving my head was funny wait until you see the laugh I’ve got planned for you.”

*

Next out to the ring is Kaley Cuoco to the Big Bang Theory theme tune. The leggy blonde looks determined but still takes the time to acknowledge the cheers from the fans, who have definitely sided with her since she was beaten at the last PPV. She’s still limping slightly on her right leg but is doing everything she can to hide it. Wearing a black one piece, shiny swimsuit and black boots with her hair long she looks mightily impressive as she enters the ring. Following that is Jennifer Aniston and she is clad in a white vest and tight denim shorts and for the first time in her careeer she receives a pretty negative reaction. Formerly a great favourite of the fans her actions after the tag match at Bitchmania have left her much less so and the overwhelming crowd reaction is against her as she slips through the ropes and glares across at Kaley.

The bell rings and the two gorgeous women come together, nose to nose, and are clearly bad mouthing each other. Jennifer goes to slap her former partner but Kaley blocks that and follows up with a hard punch that sends Aniston sprawling and gets a huge cheer from the crowd. Jen rubs her chin and glares at her foe and slowly gets to her feet. Kaley holds back waiting for her then held her hands up indicating she wanted a test of strength. Jennifer reached her hands up as if going along with that but as she raised them she jabbed her finger into Kaley’s eye then stamped her foot down on Kaley’s right ankle. Kaley exclaimed and reeled away into the corner and the crowd increased its volume of booing towards their former friend. Like she cared.

Jen rushed to the corner to drive her knee into Kaley’s midsection and wind her then hooked her arm over her neck and bent her knees and rocked Kaley with a snap suplex. Jen was up quickly and grabbed Kaley’s ankle as she got up and began to twist and pull on it with real intent. Kaley beat the mat in frustration and tried to supress her pain but Jennifer had to lean forward to goad her as she twisted the ankle and Kaley smartly reached up, hooked Jennifer’s head and rolled her over into a small package and held on tight for a two count from the small package before Jennifer kicks out.

Both are to their feet quickly but it’s Kaley the quickest and she takes advantage with a knee to Aniston’s gut then a whip into the ropes and she meets her on the way back and delivers a boneshaking spinebuster that leaves Jennifer Aniston splayed out on her back on the canvas.
Kaley leaned over and snarled in Jennifer’s face, berating her and then slapped her hard in the cheek, she still burned from the treatment she had received at the hands of her ‘partner’ at the last PPV. She grabbed Jen’s hair and hauled her to her feet and delivered another stinging slap to her face before hooking her head under her arm into a side headlock and squeezing it grinding Jen’s head in there. Jennifer wasn’t finished though and after a moment of getting her head squeezed she rallied and fired two forearms into Kaley’s kidneys then used her feet to push off towards the ropes. Kaley bounced off the ropes but kept her hold and once back in centre ring dropped to her backside nailing Jennifer with a running bulldog. She covered immediately and garnered a two count before Jennifer kicked out.

The Big Bang babe was in total control at this point and lifted her foe and whipped her to the ropes. Desperately Jennifer hooked the ropes with her arm to stop her return momentum and rather than face her fired up foe, Miss Aniston took a break and ducked under the ropes and escaped the ring to a chorus of boos and catcalls. Jennifer glowered at the crowd and continued to regain her senses on the outside as she walked around the ring. Kaley couldn’t believe this and jumped through the ropes and began to chase Jennifer. It was a ploy though and as Kaley gained on her Jennifer dropped down, extended her feet and nailed a drop toe hold on her opponent that sent the leggy blonde sprawling forward and cracking her head on the corner steps.

When Kaley rolled over onto her back it revealed she had caught her forehead on the sharp point of the corner of the steps and that had ripped a long cut the length of her pale forehead and it was just starting to bleed heavily. By the time Jenifer Aniston was on her feet and approaching her ex partner Kaley’s face was literally the red mask, with blood dropping down onto her body too. There was an anguished and surprised gasp from the crowd as they saw the hideous cut in full. Jennifer smirked and wasted no time stamping her boot right onto her opponents forehead three times before dragging her up by (now bloody) hair and rolling her into the ring again.

The crowd gasped again as Kaley peeled her face from the mat and the camera caught the full mess her face was in, absolutely coated in her blood she created a scene like a slasher, horror movie. Jennifer had no compassion though and stamped hard on her back three times before dropping down to sit on her back and then reaching forward to cup her hands under Kaley’s chin and wrenching back hard.

What a visual that made as Jennifer pulled back and blood dripped from Kaley Cuoco’s pretty face and splattered on the mat. But Kaley would not give up and eventually Jennifer had to release her grip and pull Kaley up by her blood soaked hair. Jen then ran away, hit the ropes and returned in time to deliver a devastating chop block to Kaley’s injured leg and buckle it wickedly beneath her. As she got up the boos reached a new crescendo. Jen just flicked her hair and ignored it as she grabbed Kaley’s leg and began to twist and bend it in unnatural directions. After a few minutes of that Jennifer looks ready to snap on a figure four leglock but as she twists into it from somewhere Kaley finds the strength to use her other foot to push Jen away and send her crashing into the ref and send them both flying through the ropes to the outside.

The referee has taken a hell of a bump and is just lying there as Jennifer gets up, in the ring Kaley is slowly dragging herself up by the ropes but is clearly struggling. Assessing things quickly Jennifer Aniston cements her new role by grabbing a folding metal chair from the timekeeper and sliding under the bottom rope and then moves behind Kaley and swing sit wickedly to smack into her ankle. With a squeal Kaley drops like a stone and Jennifer slips Kaley’s leg into the frame of the chair and then cruelly jumps up and stamps on it and an audible crack can be heard - Jennifer Aniston has just broken Kaley Cuoco’s ankle live on PPV!

The crowd vociferous booing breaks off as they turn to the ramp seeing Courtney Cox run down to ringside to remonstrate with her friend. Courtney jumps to the ring apron and harangues her asking Jennifer what she’s doing. Jennifer looks to be considering it but she’s still holding the chair and in an instant shuts Courtney up with a vile, unprotected chair shot right to the raven haired Cox’s forehead that knocks her out and sends her tumbling to the floor.

Jen then dumps the chair and spits over the ropes onto her unconscious former friend and turns again to a crying Kaley just as the referee makes it back into the ring. Jennifer grabs Kaley’s broken ankle and cruelly slaps on an ankle lock and begins to twist. Kaley’s screams are heart rending and she instantly taps out with blood still pouring down her face.

The winner in 9:44 is JENNIFER ANISTON and she exits the ring, leaving carnage in her wake. She stamps one last time on Kaley’s destroyed ankle and then flips the crowd the double middle finger then exits the ring past an unconscious Courtney Cox who is also now suffering from a busted open forehead from that chairshot. And as Jennifer walks up the ramp she is figuratively turning her back forever on her former friends and her fans.

*

Backstage we are introduced to three new stars for the promotion, all American sitcom stars – Whitney Cummins, Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs. All three are sexy and enthused about joining the promotion and keen to make an impact. They also seem very self confident and it’s all too easy to imagine them upsetting some of the existing stars, particularly some of the other incumbent sitcom babes. But no doubt we’ll find out in upcoming shows.
However, their happy introduction seems to being spoiled somewhat by Kim Kardashian’s posing for the camera and blatantly not being interested in what the three are saying, which prompts Whitney to grab her by the hair, twist it and pull her in close and snarl.
“You got a problem you stuck up reality slut? No? Well you fucking do now. You want to act like we’re not a big deal? Fine, we’ll just have to show you close up, you get two other dumb TV bitches and face us next month, then, we’ll see if you’re so disinterested in us!”
And with that she shoved Kim hard so that she flew back and crashed into a cleaning up trolley, sprawled over and ended up with a mop and bucket of dirty water being spilled on her head.
The look she flashed the newcomers was one of pure evil as the camera returned to the arena.
Talking of which a commercial shows next for the next PPV which is entitled “Summer Slut Slam”. No matches signed yet but you can be sure tonight’s events will have shaped many of the matches on that card. We are also promised that Jennifer Love Hewitt will make her return to the ring at that event.

*

Next up is the amazingly sexy entrance of World Tag Team Champions, Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox. Both raven haired babes are nymphomaniac’s and are very open in displaying that. Angelina emerged totally naked and posed in an X shape on the ramp with her arms raised holding up her title belt. Megan crawled beside her, similarly nude but with her belt wrapped round her slender waist. Megan then draped herself on Angelina’s left leg and held the pose as hundreds of camera’s snapped this memorable tableau.

When that sexy entrance picture was over the two minx’s slinked their way down to ringside and after sharing a long, saliva laden French kiss they slid under the ropes and hoisted their title belts high as they awaited their challengers.

The two Jessica’s were all business as they marched down the ramp. Wearing matching blue two piece bikinis they looked sexy as hell but had nowhere near the showomanship of the champs. Still they look athletic, sexy and determined and the champs must know they’re in for a hard time here. Not that Megan or Angie show it, they’re still busy chewing each other’s faces off and ignoring their opponents, even when the bell rings.

Jessica Biel is none too impressed with her opponents lack of respect for them and marches up to them grabs their brunette locks and goes to smack their heads together but gets a chop from both Angelina and Megan to her throat for her trouble and Megan then steps out and the fight is under way with Miss Jolie standing over a gasping for breath Miss Biel.

Angelina, of course, was the mistress of mayhem, and proved it again when, rather than follow up with a big move she instead hooked her fingers into the straps of Jessica’s bra top and pulled it down to expose her tits! Then her hands reached out and openly fondled them in the centre of the ring. Jessica was aghast and found the strength to shove Angelina away but not too far and Angie took the rebuff quite badly, running forward and driving her knee into her opponents gut, that doubled her over.

“So ya wanna play tough? Well that’s fine, I like that too.”

With than Angelina grabbed Biel’s ponytail and jerked it back with all her strength and Jessica crashed back first onto the mat. As the ref admonished her for use of the hair Angelina pursed her lips and puffed an imaginary kiss at him then proceeded to drag Biel up by her hair then Irish whip her with venom into the corner where Megan lay in wait. Megan Fox finished removing Jessica’s bra top in seconds and then reach through the corner to grope her opponents tits from behind. Ignoring the pain in her back this totally freaked Jessica out and she squealed and tried to power out of the corner but as she did so Megan’s nimble hands dropped and pulled down her pants, exposing her shaven snatch and also meaning that the powerful brunette came forward only a couple of steps before tripping and falling on her face at Angelina’s feet.

This was turning into an exercise in humiliation and that only continued as Angie pulled Jessica’s panties off then held them in her hand and dragged Jessica up before shoving the panties into Jessica’s face, covering her nose and mouth while holding her in a classic sleeper hold position. All the time she smirked and pouted at Jessica Alba who was complaining and remonstrating in her corner. But humiliating an opponent can be a double edged sword because for all her dominance Angelina had not really worn Jessica Biel down enough to be going for a sleeper and after taking a couple of minutes of embarrassing treatment Biel was about ready to blow. With a surge of anger she got her arms under Angelina’s hips and lifted up then dropped her back and slammed her with a variation on a back suplex that laid both sluts out in mid ring.

Alba started stamping her feet and imploring her partner to crawl over and make the tag while Angelina lay on her back, dazed. In the other corner Megan Fox seemed to have her hand at her pussy rubbing herself at the violence just witnessed. As Biel started to crawl Angelina rolled over and saw the danger but as she grabbed for her Jessica stretched and made the tag and Jessica Alba leapt over the ropes and exploded into action. She ran across the ring using Angelina’s back as a springboard and nailed a dropkick to Megan outside the ropes sending her spiralling off the apron and crashing to the floor. When she turned Angelina was struggling to her feet and Alba met her with a barrage of lightning quick martial arts kicks to her thighs and sides. Then in a fluid motion she hooked Angelina and whipped her into the corner and followed up immediately with a drop kick and quick cover.

Jolie kicked powerfully out though, the cover just getting a one count. Undeterred Jessica scooped Angelina up and body slammed her down to the canvas, then nailed a big leg drop right across the taller actresses throat before climbing up the turnbuckle while facing the crowd no doubt in preparation of hitting a moonsault like manoeuvre. She never go the chance though as once she was on the top ropes and looking over her shoulder Megan jumped onto the apron and shoved Jessica’s ankle meaning she toppled and dropped to be crotch on the metal bolt that connected the turnbuckles to the corner post. The crowd made a sympathetic noise and Jessica Alba made a wide O shape with her mouth , that had been a nasty fall alright with a worse landing. Megan smirked at the ref and slinked her way back to her own corner.

In the ring Angelina was up and seeing the precarious position of her foe she walked toward the corner and once there turned around so she was back to back with Alba then hooked her hands up into Jessica’s armpits then lifted up to pull her off the ropes and into position for a Razor’s Edge Powerbomb which she absolutely nailed leaving Jessica Alba splayed out in centre ring.

Angelina was on her knees beside her and obviously needing to tag out but as she crawled passed the downed brunette she couldn’t resist laying on a full kiss to Jessica’s Alba’s unmoving lips.

Then she reached up and tagged Megan into the match. Megan moved sexily over to Jessica Alba’s prone body and sat down so that her pussy was right on Alba’s nose and then proceeded to grind her lithe body backwards and forwards on her opponents face, smothering her and getting herself off at the same time!

Jessica Biel had seen and had enough. She stormed into the ring and dragged the smaller Megan off her partners gasping face by her long, dark hair and threw her to the mat before the ref ushered Biel out of the ring and back to her corner.

Megan was back at Alba quickly but again rather than hurt her she was more interested in humiliation and used the time to take off Jessica’s bra top and then slide her panties off so that now all four combatants were stark naked in this contest. Megan picked up Jessica Alba’s knickers and took a long sniff of them before sticking her right hand in them and then plunging it into Jessica’s mouth with a pantie assisted mandible claw! Megan had the wickedest smile on her beautiful face as she held her claw in place and pressed down hard while Jessica Alba flopped and struggled beneath her, her position on her back not helping her efforts at all to escape the claw. It took Jessica a few seconds to get her legs under her and push her way to her feet, all the while Megan dug her claw in and forced the panties into her mouth. But just when it looked like Jessica’s efforts had been in vain and her legs started to buckle she lashed out and kicked Megan in the crotch and caused the immediate break and both women fell to the mat as the crowd noise rose another notch.

They rose almost at the same time and began punching each other while they were still on their knees and again it was Megan that gained the advantage with a rake to the eyes which allowed her to get to her feet and trap Alba’s head between her thighs in a standing head scissors in preparation for what looked like a piledriver. She never hit it though as Jessica powered up and shoved Megan up and over her head to crash to the mat on her back while Jessica fell forward onto hands and knees and desperately crawled forward to make the hot tag to a rested Jessica Biel. Biel exploded into the ring and ran across to nail Megan Fox with a huge clothesline that turned her upside down and flopping to the mat. Biel then nailed Angelina Jolie on the apron with a big boot that sent her flying and turned back to picked Megan up again and in a a flash lifted her up and dropped her down in a hard powerbomb in centre ring. Her cover gained her a long two count but she ignored that disappointment to fling Megan into a corner then follow up with a splash then a bulldog that drover Megan’s face to the mat. With her down the hot brunette climbed the corner and stood atop the turnbuckles before jumping up and nailing an inch perfect frog splash that surely would have gained a three count had Angelina Jolie not rolled into the ring and kicked her off.

Biel was fired up though and shook off the kick and rose up to nail Angeline with several punches then a running clothesline that sent both girls flying over the top rope simultaneously and crashing in a heap on the unforgiving hard floor. They were up brawling soon enough though and Biel got the best of it and managed to slam Angelina back first on the announcers table at ringside and looked round to see her partner Jessica Alba perched on the top turnbuckle over them, so that when Biel stepped back Alba jumped off with a suicidal elbow drop that nailed Angelina in the chest and collapsed the table in a loud crash that sent debris everywhere. Jessica Biel then rolled back into the ring to find Megan Fox crawling desperately towards the far side of the ring. She got there just as Biel grabbed her ankle but Megan was able to reach down and grab the steel chair on the floor first and when Jessica turned her round to drag back into the ring Megan swung it and cracked it off Biel’s forehead as the referee stood next to them. He had no choice other than to call for the bell and a disappointing DQ to this title match.

It hadn’t been the greatest of chair shots and by the time Mega was vertical and back in the ring, chair in hand Biel had recovered enough to run forward and nail her with an absolutely brutal spear that drove Fox back a few yards then planted her in the canvas. With Fox motionless in the ring and Jolie motionless outside it the two Jessica’s took their belts and posed with them above their heads as the ring announcer announced them as the winners by DQ in 17:27 but that Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox remained the World Tag Team Champions.

*

Backstage, as Cameron Diaz prepares to step through the curtain for her Loser leaves town match with partner Charlize Theron, Charlize approaches her and the two warily eye each other up for a moment and then Charlize extends her hand and after another minute’s hesitation Cameron grabs it and shakes it. As they hold the grip Charlize speaks slowly.

“It’s been good working with you. I’ll miss you. “

Cameron maintains the tense handshake and replies.

“Likewise. May the best woman win.”

“Yes, and may the weakest woman quit. It won’t be me.”

“And it won’t be me either.”

The shake comes to an end and they part, neither taking their eyes off the other.

From that exchange we come back to the arena to see the steel cage for Cameron and Charlize’s match has been lowered and fitted to the ring. The ring announcer then announces the stipulations for this match, that whoever says “I Quit” will be kicked out of the promotion for good. It is a no DQ steel cage match. The announcer introduces the crowd to the special referee for this huge match, the Commissioner of the Federation, Heather Locklear!

Sexy older blonde Heather is dressed in a tight black and white striped shirt and black cycle shorts and gets a good reaction as she comes down the ramp and enters the cage. Cameron and Charlize went wild at the previous PPV like they were above the law and the crowd love that Heather not only stood up to them but put them in this match that will see the end of one of them in the Federation.

First of the competitors to stalk to the cage is Cameron Diaz. She’s wearing a red one piece and looking extremely sexy but not very happy as she enters the cage to a chorus of boos. Charlize Theron enters next in a gold two piece bikini and she has a stoic look and her eyes burn through Heather as she steps into the cage. Last of the players on this stage is Owner Sharon Stone, true to her words earlier in the PPV she is at ringside and actually aids the referee in locking the cage and takes the key from him and retakes her seat by the timekeeper as the bell sounds for the start of this mega heel versus heel cage match.

The crowd volume went up a notch and Cameron and Charlize came together, nose to nose, and stare hard at each other. Then both drew back their arms simultaneously but instead of hitting each other they joined arms, turned and nailed Heather Locklear with a vicious double clothesline!!

A stunned silence came over the crowd as Cameron picked up Heather by her hair and threw her to Charlize who easily lifted her up then dropped her down with a powerbomb in centre ring. Taking her time Charlize lifted Heather up and threw her to Cameron who easily flipped her up from a standing head scissors and then dropped her down with a sit down piledriver. Heather was motionless in the ring and the crowd were booing like crazy as the popular Commissioner was being destroyed. Next Charlize scooped Heather’s increasingly limp body up and flipped her round into position for a Tombstone piledriver whilst Cameron climbed to the second turnbuckle. Once in position Cameron grabbed Heather’s feet then spiked them down at the same time as Charlize dropped the move – a wicked looking spiked Tombstone Piledriver.

The two blondes stood soaking up the anger and rage from the crowd as they stood over Heather and then they watched closely as Sharon Stone unlocked the cage and entered with a microphone in hand.

“What are you two doing?”

Sharon let the question hang as she climbed up and into the ring to confront the two blonde behemoths.

“What are you two doing? You know this match was announced with a stipulation and believe me we meet our stipulations in this Federation. And that stipulation was the person who said I quit, in this very cage would be done with my promotion. So make it happen!”

At that a smirking Cameron Diaz peeled Heather off the canvas, nailed her with a DDT then rolled her onto her front and hooked on a Crippler crossface and began tearing back on it as hard as she could. Charlize smiled then grabbed Heather’s legs and hooked in a Boston Crab as Cameron pulled back and in that position Heather was being literally bent in half. With a cruel smile on her face and tone in her voice Sharon stepped around them and reached down to hold the microphone to Heathers face and when Cameron moved her hand away from Heather’s MOUTH Sharon held the mic there and waited.

Heather Locklear was a mess, hEr neck and back were fucked and staring up at her boss she realised how she had been set up. With tears running down her face she tried not so say it but her spine was in agony, her neck was going numb and frightened at the lengths these crazy bitches might go to Heather somehow managed to sob out.

“Ok! Ok! I quit! I quit!”

Sharon held the microphone there for a few moments and savoured this then brought it up to her own lips.

“What’s that Heather. You quit? Then by the stipulations you set up you are done with this promotion and just in case you got any other ideas let me spell it out so even a bimbo like you can comprehend, YOU’RE FIRED!!!! Girsl chuck that piece of garbage out of my ring.”

Charlize and Heather picked Heather up and ran her to the open corner door and threw her like a torpedo through the ropes and she speared out of the cage and crashed in a heap outside. The fans were furious and booing like hell and even chucking garbage into the ring while Sharon stood between Charlize and Cameron and held their hands up high gloating, soaking up the verbal abuse from the stands.

Then in an instant everything changed. Jumping the crowd barriers were five figures, four dived into the cage while a fifth grabbed the cage door and looped a chain around it then padlocked it. Inside the cage the three blondes were stunned as the four interlopers charged them and knocked them to the mat. The crowd went crazy as the camera managed to catch them all in focus, Janet Jackson outside the cage locking it, Beyonce, Nicki Minaj, Nicole Sherzinger and Rihanna now in the cage standing over the three blondes.

What followed was five minutes of 4 on 3 massacre. In fact it was mostly 4 on 2 as Sharon Stone was swiftly removed from the picture. Rihanna and Beyonce grabbed Sharon and propelled her at great speed through the ropes and head first into one side of the steel cage. The crack of skull on steel was audible and the blonde owner of the Federation slumped down unconscious against the metal grating with blood trickling down her face from a cut just received. Beyonce then took out a handcuff and attached it to Sharon’s wrist and the cage and turned her attention back to the black singer’s main targets.

Of course the reason behind this ambush would be evident to any viewer who witnessed the carnage at the start of the previous PPV, Bitchmania I, where Charlize and Cameron had interrupted Rihanna’s singing of the national anthem at the start of that event and destroyed the young singer, in the process making particularly hateful comments towards both singers and coloured people. This, evidently was payback time. And how!

All four coloured singers stamped the hell out of their enemies, not letting them up and not relenting until the two blondes were too beaten down to get up. Then they paired off, Beyonce and Rihanna on Charlize , Nicki and Nicole on Cameron and proceeded to introduce their faces repeatedly to the steel cage walls. Before long both Charlize and Cameron are busted open (Diaz especially bleeding like a stuck pig) and their blonde hair soon turned crimson.

Normally the crowd would not be happy at such a one sided, sneak attack slaughter but really Charlize and Cameron and Sharon are so hated that the crowd cheers each blow to them and by the time the singers are finished and Janet unlocks the cage for them to exit the crowd are cheering to the tops of their voices, especially when laid out in pools of their own blood are the three hated blondes.

*

With the crowd still buzzing as the three blondes are stretchered out of the arena there’s a short break as the cage is removed and things settle down before our World Title match Main Event.

Backstage Scarlett Johannson has a microphone and an announcement to make.

“Heather Locklear’s last act as Commissioner was signing this document (she holds up a piece of paper to the TV camera). It’s a contract that makes me the number one contender for the world title and gives me a match at the next PPV. So right now I’m going to kick up my heels back here and watch Sarah and Eliza tear the holy hell out of each other and see which of those bitches is going to get smothered out with these!”

And with that the Black Widow actress pulls the zip down the front of her black leather cat suit to reveal copious amounts of cleavage and bends forward to press the camera right into her exposed tit flesh.

*

The bell sounds three times and the ring announcers steps into the ring. Carnage reigns at ringside, the commentators table destroyed and blood stains on the canvas and all around the ring but he remains cool as he introduces us to the Main Event of the evening. It is a No DQ match up and is for the World Heavyweight Championship. First to the ring is the challenger, looking cool in a black leather jacket that she shrugs off to reveal a sexy one piece, black swimsuit, Eliza Dushku!

Eliza leans in a corner and looks disinterested as the Champion, Sarah Michelle Gellar is introduced and the blonde star marches purposefully to the ring wearing a red two piece bikini with the world title around her waist. Of course she’s still sporting the skinhead haircut that Eliza gave her at Bitchmania and that has to be partly responsible for the look of steely determination Sarah is sporting as she climbs into the ring and takes off the belt and hands it to the ref. As the ref hold the belt aloft to signify what these two stars are battling for they come to the centre and stand before him. Eliza is such a callous bitch as she stands there and flicks her long, dark hair, clearly mocking the destruction she wrought on Sarah’s last month. She does it once too often though and in a flash Sarah reaches over, grabs Eliza by her hair and spins around and tosses her across the ring by her hair. She laughs as Eliza shrieks as Sarah stands holding a length of dark hair she has just pulled from Eliza’s scalp!

Signalling for the bell the ref ditched the belt and this Championship match is started.

Sarah throws the chunk of hair to the mat and runs across the ring and delivered a field goal style punt right into Eliza’s ribs as she made her way up to her hands and knees. The champ was on her foe immediately, straddling her chest and launching a series of hard punches from the mount position that Eliza could barely cover up from. Sarah was wild and it was only when her arms tired that she relented. She grabbed Eliza by the hair and dragged her to her feet then tossed her to the ropes and upon her return levelled her with a hard clothesline that knocked the brunette flat on her back. Although Sarah’s hardly a fan favourite it’s is apparent the crowd is solidly behind her in this encounter and they roar at seeing Eliza beaten like this. They also groan as when Sarah reaches down to drag Eliza and pull her up by her hair Eliza fires a punch up that slams squarely into Sarah’s unprotected pussy.

Eliza then rises up with a rueful smile on her face as Sarah sinks to her knees. A knee to the face later and Sarah is flat on her back and in perfect position for Eliza to grab her ankles, pull them apart then stomp down hard with her heel right in Sarah’s pussy then hold her heel there and grind it in fiercely as Sarah thrashed her arms against the mat in agony. Eliza eventually lifted her heel but only so that she could fall forward with a headbutt right into Sarah’s crotch. From that position Eliza reached her arms over Sarah’s legs and leaned forward into a pinning position and garnered the first two count of the contest.

Eliza was not put off by the kick out and peeled Sarah up off the mat and held her up before driving her knee between her legs, holding her up and doing it again, driving Sarah back into a corner. Once in there Eliza lifted Sarah’s legs and draped them over each opposing middle ropes so that her legs were spread akimbo and her crotch was totally exposed. The brunette reversed up then ran forward and rammed her right boot into Sarah’s crotch and smiled as the blonde squealed and fell forward on her face. She then picked Sarah up as if for a body slam but instead slammed her in the corner upside down and draped her legs over the top rope in a Tree of Woe. Eliza wasted no time in climbing the ropes and planting her foot again into Sarah’s cunt and then standing up in the corner, her full weight on that sensitive area. Then she started to bounce up and down on her foot.

After a few bounces Sarah’s legs came free and she crashed down to the mat desperately feeling at her crotch which had just endured a few minutes of intense pain. Eliza was unremitting though and she scooped the blonde up in a suplex style position but instead of lifting her over onto her back rather dropped Sarah down on the ropes, her legs straddling the top rope getting crotched. Then Eliza took great pleasure bouncing the rope up and down as Sarah sat there uncomfortably. Eliza left her sitting there in pain and climbed the corner turnbuckle, faced her then jumped off with a clothesline. Somehow Sarah saw it coming and managed to duck at the last minute and the brunette flew over her and crashed hard to the apron and then down to the floor.

The crowd liked that and got behind the downed champion as she falls off the ropes into the ring and slowly attempts to get up. As it happens Eliza and Sarah both made it up to their feet about the same moment and while Eliza climbed back up to the apron, Sarah pulled herself up to the vertical by the ropes directly in front of her. They came face to face and after a brief second of surprise started unloading punches on each other as they stood there over the ropes. Sarah seemed to be getting the upper hand in that exchange until Eliza ducked her head and drover her shoulder into the Champ’s guts then used the ropes to slingshot herself up and over her and into a sunset flip. Sarah never came over though, she managed to grab the ropes and once she had halted the backwards momentum dropped to her knees and pinned Eliza’s shoulders. She even held the ropes as the ref counted but still the brunette somehow managed to kick out at two and a half for a desperately near fall.

As they got up Sarah grabbed Eliza by the hair and threw her through the ropes and crashing to the floor again. By the time Eliza had struggled to her feet Sarah had bounced off the ropes and slide out and nailed her with a perfect baseball slide that snapped Eliza’s head back before sending her sprawling to the ground outside the ring. The tide had turned and the crowd loved it, even more so as Sarah grabbed a steel chair and held it above her head!

Eliza was blissfully unaware as she pulled herself to her feet but she found out soon enough as Sarah swung the chair and nailed a deadly chair shot to her opponents unprotected skull and the brunette dropped like a stone. She would have covered her there and then but of course it was only a no DQ match and not falls count anywhere. Still it had done it’s job, Eliza was near unconscious when Sarah dragged her to her feet then Irish whipped her on the floor and sent her flying into the unforgiving metal crowd barrier. Sarah stalked after her and peeled her off the barrier before grabbing her by her hair and introducing it three brutal times to the metal corner pole. By the time Eliza slid down the corner post her forehead was busted open and her eyes were starting to glaze over.

Sarah milked the moment then reached behind Eliza and stripped off her one piece bathing suit, stripping her opponent naked then she wrapped the swimsuit into a makeshift garrotte and wound it around Eliza’s throat and stood behind her and pulled with all her might choking her out on the outside. It made quite the visual for the camera’s as Eliza strained against the choke, blood trickling down her face and Sarah stood over her straining every arm muscle to pull the choke tighter. Somehow the brunette managed to get her feet under her and with one big effort shoved backwards and sent them both flying back with Sarah catching the worst of it, the back of her skull cracking loudly against the corner post. Both babes were out of it and sprawled at ringside.
This time it’s Eliza that’s first to her feet and she’s not slow to grab the steel chair that busted her open and wait until Sarah makes it up too. Eliza’s swing is wild and would have taken Sarah’s head off if it had connected but fortunately the Champion ducked and the chair smashed into the ring post and Eliza had to drop it due to the painful reverberations. Building up a head of steam Sarah lined her up then launched forward and speared her foe then pulled her up, walked her around the ring and onto the ramp and trapped her head between her thighs and tried to lift her for a piledriver on the steel ramp! But after two attempts Sarah couldn’t get her up and on the third Eliza powered her way up and out of the move dropping Sarah over and down hard onto the ramp with a backdrop. Picking her up Eliza trapped Sarah’s head and she had no problem executing her move which was a powerbomb, driving Sarah powerfully up then down onto the metal up slope of the ramp and leaving her spread eagled and out of it on said slope.

Sensing the finish Eliza lifted Sarah then ran and threw her back into the ring. She followed and scooped Sarah up and slammed her in the centre of the ring before marching to the corner and ascending to the top turnbuckle. She posed there for a moment, naked and bloody, before jumping up and nailing Sarah with an elbow drop and then crawled over for the cover.

ONE…TWO..THR..NO!!!

Somehow Sarah kicked out at the last moment much to Eliza’s annoyance.

The brunette knelt there and beat the mat with her fist in frustration before settling on a new means of attack. With her magnificent breasts on full display anyway, why shouldn’t she use them? She picked a limp Sarah up and then pulled the blondes face down and into the deep valley of her cleavage and went for a breast smother right in the centre of the ring. She held the move and tightened her arms and as she did do she whispered down.

“Once I’ve put you out Sarah I’m gonna get those clippers and shave you bald all over again.”

This goading actually backfired though as from somewhere Sarah Michelle Gellar found the strength to wrap her arms around Eliza and twist and lift her around and plant her with a belly-to-belly suplex that left both women flat out in the middle of the ring. They were both toiling now, it had been a long and brutal match and neither was moving very quickly anymore. They struggled to their knees together and traded a series of blows which Eliza only came out on top of by raking her nails in Sarah’s face. Her advantage was wiped out though when Sarah came back with a blind headbutt that found its mark on the brunette’s nose and sent her falling back. Eliza came right back though when Sarah went to pull her up when she hit yet another punch to the blondes cunt that doubled her over and once Eliza was up to her feet she grabbed her and propelled the Champion through the ropes and crashing to ringside again.

Eliza followed her opponent out and grabbed the steel chair from earlier, slipped it between the legs of Sarah and drove the end of it home in yet another cruel attack of her womanhood. Then she left the chair wedged in between Sarah’s thighs and grabbed a second chair which she swung and hit home on the edge of the first chair driving it into Sarah’s pussy again, then she struck a second time and Sarah was howling from these strikes. Eliza had full control again and threw Sarah and the two chairs back into the ring and rolled in after them. She waited until Sarah tiredly rose up onto her knees and ran the length of the ring to deliver a cunt punt right between her legs then knelt over Sarah and slipped her hand into Sarah’s bikini briefs, sought out her pussy and applied her patented clit claw, grabbing it them pulling and twisting it simultaneously.

Sarah flailed her arms about in absolute agony and the ref was right there asking her if she gave up but the blonde shook her head and refused so Eliza just poured on pressure to the move. She was on the point of quitting when her hand connected with the chair and with just a little stretching she caught it up and before Eliza could register what she was doing Sarah brought it up and down on her foes head. It wasn’t a strong enough blow to do any real damage, Sarah’s lack of leverage had ensured that but it was enough to break her foes implacable hold and force Eliza back holding her head.

Seizing her chance Sarah got to her feet and swung the chair again, this time with real venom, cracking it off Eliza’s skull with a loud clang. Eliza dropped like a stone and Sarah threw the chair to the canvas before slowly picking Eliza up, draping her arm over her shoulder and somehow finding the strength to lift Eliza up and holding her upright so that the blood rushed down to Eliza’s head. Then Sarah dropped the hold violently straight down, dropping Eliza’s skull down onto the steel chair in a Buffy Brain Buster that laid Eliza out motionless. Sarah slowly rolled over and made the cover with one arm.

ONE…TWO…THREE!

The crowd cheered at that super hard fought victory and clean pinfall. The winner and still World Champion is SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR in 23:12 of brutal action.

After Sarah recovers enough and Eliza rolls onto her front Sarah has some more payback in mind and produces a pair of scissors from her corner. She holds them up and snaps them together for the camera and her intent is clear – a revenge haircut for Eliza. With the brunette up to her knees Sarah stood behind her and lifted up a long strand of hair and was just about to cut it off at the scalp when Eliza swung her elbow back and caught Sarah in the cunt once again. Sarah collapsed and Eliza spun around and grabbed the scissors and with her own forehead busted open decided to return the favour. She held the scissors like a knife, stabbed them into Sarah’s forehead and proceeded to drag them backwards and forwards while digging them in and busting the Champ wide open so that blood soon flowed down her pretty face.

The close up camera pics showed the cuts to be brutal and Sarah’s face was coated in her blood as Eliza stood over her manically dragging the blades across Sarah’s head again and again. Then suddenly Eliza was shoved down and away from Sarah and standing there was Alyson Hannigan, Sarah best friend. She had saved Sarah from an even more grotesque battering and stood between Sarah and Eliza and lifted the chair and swung it at the brunette to ward her off. Eliza took her cue and bailed out of the ring and up the ramp but clearly this feud was nowhere near being settled. Both stars were bleeding and beaten but it was the loser who looked better as the camera’s faded out for the end of the PPV, Sarah was lying cradled in Alyson’s arms bleeding copiously.

*
Epilogue:

The next couple of weeks were chaos for the Federation as the ramifications of many of the happenings continued to rumble on. Some things eventually did become clear though. Heather Locklear was fired as the Commissioner of the Federation. Sharon Stone was bought out of her contract as owner of the Club by an unannounced bidder, this allowed Sharon to join the Federation full time as a wrestler. The new owner made a series of announcements the main one being that singers were now being actively signed to contracts and that this was no longer the sole preserve of actresses.

Thus it was that the following card was released for the much anticipated next PPV Summer Slut Slam.

Elizabeth Hurley v. Sofia Vergara

Whitney Cummins / Kat Dennings / Beth Behrs v. Kim Kardasian / Pamela Anderson / Paris Hilton

Jennifer Aniston v. Courteney Cox

Nicole Kidman / Kate Beckinsale v. Katie Holmes / Mila Kunis

Jennifer Love Hewitt v. Eliza Dushku

Angelina Jolie / Megan Fox v. Jessica Biel / Jessica Alba in a street fight

Charlize Theron v. Nicki Minaj

Sarah Michelle Gellar v. Scarlett Johannson