BITCH BRAWL II – BABES, BARBED WIRE AND BLOOD!
By DARK CLOUD
This PPV gets under way with a rather macabre blood red graphic of the event’s name, wrapped in barbed wire and dripping blood on screen. There is a warning that anyone of a nervous disposition may not want to watch on, thus setting the tone for the rest of the card.
The first competitor to the ring tonight is Melissa Rauch. We last saw the petite but busty blonde handcuffed to a steel cage watching the systematic destruction of her friend Kaley Cuoco in Bitchmania II’s main event. With Kaley on the shelf with a re-broken leg and her head shaved bald Melissa is seeking a measure of revenge against the perpetrators tonight. First up is a match against Jennifer Aniston’s personal slave, Jennifer Love Hewitt, with the promise that if she can overcome her she will get a World Championship shot later tonight against Aniston herself.
Melissa Rauch storms to the ring wearing a low cut red, one piece bathing suit, the 35 year old, 5ft pint sized powerhouse looks fired up to avenge the many wrongs done to her and her friend at the last PPV. She gets in the ring and glares at the entrance ramp awaiting the first of two women (one former and one current World Champion) she may have to face tonight.
For the first time in her career Jennifer Love Hewitt emerges to a chorus of boos. Sure everyone knew that because of a stipulation when she lost the belt she had to serve Jennifer Aniston but the way JLH interfered at Bitchmania was way beyond what she needed to do to serve her Mistress. Still she makes a hell of an entrance as she comes out totally nude except for that shock collar around her throat, the 36 year old’s incredible 30GG breasts on full display. The 5’2” brunette stalks to the ring and gingerly enters it as the ref keeps Melissa back so he can get things started.
Before he can though Jennifer Aniston makes her first (and no doubt it won’t be her last) appearance of the night. The World Champion has on her usual white vest, denim cut offs and cowboy boots and as she circles the ring to head to a set beside the announcers she produces the controls to that self same shock collar on Love Hewitt and gives the button a hard press. Immediately the brunette sinks to her knees grabbing her neck and pleading with Aniston.
“You’d better fucking beat her bitch, or else!” threatened the Champ as she takes her seat to watch this bout.
So with that the ref signalled for the bell and with Love Hewitt on her knees recovering she was in no position to defend a low dropkick from behind by Melissa that propelled the taller brunette face first to the mat. Any sympathy Melissa or the crowd had for Jennifer had all gone when she had attacked Melissa from behind in that fateful cage match the previous month and so it was to thunderous cheers that the blonde straddled JLH and grabbed her hair and proceeded to ram it hard into the mat repeatedly, then tiring from that she kept a firm grip on Jennifer’s locks and rubbed and ground her pretty face back and forth across the canvas. In desperation the brunette managed to roll onto her back but that just allowed Melissa to paintbrush her face with a series of hard open hand slaps. Finally, she lifted her arms in acclaim. Dumb move as Jennifer reached up and grabbed Melissa around the neck and pulled her head right down and into the soft folds of the famed Love Hewitt cleavage and this early in the bout we had the first breast smother attempt of the evening.
As hated as Jennifer Love Hewitt now was there was still no finer sight than her gargantuan boobs engulfing another woman’s struggling face, and the crowd gasped as Melissa’s cute little nose disappeared from sight. To her credit Melissa immediately recognised the danger she was in and began to scramble her limbs around frantically to try and escape and when that didn’t work she began clawing at her foe with her fingernails, scratching Jennifer’s arms and then at her face and finally poking her eyes to force her to break the smother.
As Love Hewitt felt at her face Rauch got to her feet and stumbled to the ropes only to be taunted by the World Champion.
“Ha, she nearly got you that time short arse! When she does finish you off we’re gonna break you like we broke your bimbo pal last month!”
Despite herself Melissa could not help but turn to respond and it was every bit the mistake she could have expected as JLH was to her feet and nailed her from behind with a lariat clothesline that send the short blonde flying over the top rope and crashing hard to the floor at a laughing Jennifer Aniston’s feet. She made no move to interfere though, instead laughing as Love Hewitt rolled out under the bottom rope and proceeded to grab Melissa by her long hair and smash her forehead into the crowd barrier, the ring post and finally the canvas before rolling her back inside.
Back in the ring for the first time in months Jennifer Love Hewitt was starting to look like the former World Champion she was, her servitude at the hands of Jennifer Aniston had obviously not destroyed her as badly as had first seemed. She whipped Rauch into a corner then ran in behind it with an avalanche that squashed the blonde but before she could recover from that JLH nailed her with a leaping bulldog that garnered a close two count.
Once back up Jennifer got on her knees behind a sitting Melissa and tightened her arm around her head in a sleeper hold, obviously still eying up that infamous breast smother finish of hers. That just deflated the crowd further, even though this was a level of competition Melissa Rauch had never been at the crowd had been firmly behind the petite blonde, wanting so desperately for her to get a measure of revenge for her best friend. But as Jennifer Love Hewitt leaned over her, putting her weight on her, and squeezed Melissa’s throat with one arm whilst her free arm grabbed the front of Melisa’s top and pulled it down to reveal her own big tits and then her fingers began to twist and squeeze them the crowd sensed the match was going away from her.
But that pinching of her nipples actually served to revive Melissa somewhat, the sharp pain sparking her into life, She managed to push herself up off the mat a little and with a gentle movement of her head when she dropped down her head bounced up and caught JLH flush on the chin, forcing the brunette to howl in agony and release her hold so she could feel at her chin.
Despite her grogginess Melissa forced herself up and flung herself into a clothesline that knocked the brunette down, then the blonde climbed a turnbuckle, waited then flung herself off nailing Jennifer on the chin again, this time with a flying dropkick, a cover followed getting a close two count.. On a roll now Melissa whipped Jennifer into the ropes and this time leapt up into a crucifix and pulled Jennifer over for another two count. She then hit an inside cradle that looked to have got the win but was kicked out of at the last possible moment. Back on their feet Melissa whipped Jennifer to the ropes again and leapt up for a drop kick but Jennifer Aniston had reached under to ropes and grabbed her cohort’s ankles dropping her and crucially meaning she didn’t return so Melissa crashed on her back in centre ring.
“Strip her and finish her bitch, God help you if I have to get in that ring tonight slave!” barked the World Champion.
Jennifer hurried over to her downed foe and dropped to her knees and once again positioned her copious mounds of soft breast flesh to press in on Melissa’s face she put her hands behind the blonde’s head and lifted into that soft prison and her face took on a look of peace as if that was her natural state, smothering some bimbo between her tits. Her face quickly turned though, to a look of extreme pain and shock and when she released her hands from Melissa’s neck everyone saw why. The petite blonde had sunk her teeth right into Jennifer’s left teat and even as Jenny tried to rise up she hung on with her teeth to the nipple like a rabid ferret! She was literally swinging from that famous tit when Jennifer delivered a pain enhanced right hook to Melissa’s head that not only knocked her loose but damn near knocked her out!
Feeling at her injured breast (the teeth marks left were read and raw looking) you could see Love Hewitt losing her temper and she moved over to a prone Melissa Rauch and began to stamp the holy hell out of her. If Jennifer Aniston had allowed her to wear her wrestling boots then it would have been a brutal assault, but even in bare feet she still landed some hard blows and by the time she stopped Melissa was curled up into a foetal position. But when Jen reached down to grab her Melissa hooked her arm and rolled her over into a tight small package and held on for dear life as the referee dropped and counted, ONE…TWO…THREE!
The winner in 8:31 is MELISSA RAUCH, and as a result she will get a shot at World Champion Jennifer Aniston later in the PPV.
As the blonde escapes the ring Aniston enters it and berates her slave angrily as Love Hewitt begs her forgiveness, she gets none though as Aniston repeatedly presses the control to the shock her before eventually relenting and dragging her out of the ring by her hair and then up the ramp on hands and knees pleading with her Mistress. Aniston is none too happy about having to defend her title tonight and it looks like Jennifer Love Hewitt is going to suffer for it.
*
Backstage and interviewer Kate Upton enters a room with the sign “QUEEN’S COURT” on it. Inside Kate Middleton sits on a throne and is surrounded by her many minions, Eva Green stands guard beside her, Pippa Middleton sits at her feet, Commissioner Catherine Zeta Jones scurries about with a clipboard while Elizabeth Hurley and her group (Emma Watson, Keira Knightley, Victoria Beckham and Kelly Brook) who have been amalgamated with The Queen’s Court mill about in the background. It’s quite the intimidating scene for blonde American Kate to enter into.
“Kate, the people want to know what your plans are for the Fed…”
Miss Upton breaks off her question as Eva Green steps aggressively around the throne and slaps her hard across the cheek. Kate Middleton smirks as Catherine Zeta Jones gets between Eva and Upton and explains.
“On your knees! If you want to address Her Royal Highness you will do it with the right amount of respect, i.e. on your fucking knees and in the correct manner otherwise I will let Miss Green finish her disciplining of you! Now you dumb American slut, you may ask your question.”
Catherine ‘helps’ by placing her hands on Kate Upton’s shoulders and forcing her down onto her knees and then in a now trembling voice the model cum actress asks.
“Er Your Royal Highness, since you took over the Federation and established your Queen’s Court group I’m sure the viewers want to know what you have planned for tonight, I mean….”
She broke off for the second time because Kate Middleton had begun listening to her question then stood up, picked up a full glass of red wine and then carefully poured it all over Kate Upton’s head and onto her pristine dress.
“You’ll just have to wait like all the other dumb American fools won’t you?” was all the Duchess said and gave a hand signal to Eva Green, which saw Eva physically pick Kate Upton up and throw her out of the room, landing in a heap in the corridor in quite a state.
*
Back to the ring and a singles match with a very Marvel feel to it. Scarlett Johansson versus Cobie Smulders. Cobie Pearl Harboured her supposed stable mate during a recent PPV and cost her the match then handcuffed her and destroyed with hard chair shots with the aid of her tag partner Alyson Hannigan.
Cobie comes to the ring in black cat suit and alone, Scarlett likewise moments later and the two stare at each other in centre ring as the ref signals for the fight to begin. It is a fast paced encounter with both athletic women trading punches, slaps and chops and generally trading advantage a couple of times before Scarlett really took over.
That momentum shift came when she was whipped into the ring ropes and reversed it then leapt up and caught Cobie’s head between her legs and flipped her over with a hurancanrana that sent her spinning, a baseball slide that sent Cobie spilling to the floor then a springboard plancha from the top rope that flattened Cobie virtually at the bottom of the entrance ramp and sent the crowd wild.
That spectacular move took it out of Scarlett too and both babes lay in a heap on the floor as the referee started a slow count on them. He had reached five and Scarlett was up to her knees when Alyson Hannigan appeared from the crowd wielding a steel chair. Cobie’s partner stalked behind Scarlett as she crawled back towards the ring and just as she got up Alyson struck with a wicked chair shot right across her back. That brought and immediate signal from the referee to ring the bell.
The winner in 6:34 by DQ is SCARLETT JOHANSSON. She doesn’t look a winner right then though as Alyson stands over her, waits for her to lift her head then cracks her on the skull with the chair again, drawing the first blood of the night (but certainly not the last) as a cut opens up on Scarlett’s forehead. Cobie is up by then and clearly isn’t finished as she grabs a chair too and walks towards where Alyson stands over the prone Miss Johannsson.
Just as things look at their bleakest though a figure runs down the ramp and grabs Cobie’s chair from her and jams it into her gut, then clashed that chair with Alyson’s and runs her off too. Finally, the camera shows it was Evangeline Lilly that came to Scarlett’s rescue and once she’s sure the heels have retreated she drops to her knee and checks the bleeding red head is not too badly hurt.
*
There follows a couple of backstage interviews next.
First up Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus and Britney Spears excitedly tell Lindsay Lohan how they are going to start a revolution against The Queen’s Court, and that tonight against Elizabeth Hurley, Eva Green and Pippa Middleton they will send a message that America’s starlets will not be bullied like they had been. Lindsay asks if Miley is fully recovered from her trip to hospital after Bitchmania and Miley nods cockily and sticks her tongue out at the camera while Britney glares into the camera.
The next interview sees Carmen Electra in the dressing room with Nicki Minaj and the black rapper is holding forth her opinions on her opponent tonight, Jennifer Lopez.
“You think you’re fucking street Bitch, think you’re fucking it, that you’re shit don’t stink? Well tonight you are gonna feel and smell what a real ass is like, when I lower my money maker on that snooty spic face of yours and smother you out for the world to see. And once you’re out bitch, who knows what I’m gonna do to you?”
*
And with those words of wisdom we are returned to the arena where the three members of the Queen’s Court are making their way to the ring – all three of Eva Green, Elizabeth Hurley and Pippa Middleton are clad in Royal blue two piece bikini’s and look pretty fearsome as they walk to the ring and slowly enter it. In contrast the threesome of Swift, Cyrus and Spears positively bounce to the ring, clad in matching pristine white two pieces and slide into the ring under the bottom rope.
Immediately the six women attack each other and start brawling, first in the ring then outside and then back in, the scene is pretty wild.
So while it appeared on paper that the American’s were overmatched they were holding their own early on. But that all changed when Miley went to a top turnbuckle and launched herself in flying body press at Eva. The French woman caught the flying blonde and held her, then adjusted her before military pressing her over her head, walking over to the ropes and dropping her from height right down, face first onto the concrete. It was a hell of an impact and served to stop the other five battling for a moment and the referee took the chance to usher them all to their respective corners.
The ring announcer was kneeling beside Miley and checking her when the EMT’s arrived and tended to her, her partner Britney dropped down to check too. Taylor Swift was also looking down from the apron, which meant she didn’t see Elizabeth Hurley walk across the ring then grab her by the hair and literally drag Taylor into the ring over the top rope then level her with a hard clothesline. Liz then got on Taylor’s back with a Camel clutch and began stretching her skinny neck for all she was worth.
Outside Britney Spears seemed to be pretty annoyed about something as the EMT’s load Miley onto a stretcher and prepare to lift her away, Britney’s arguing with one and follows them to continue her annoyance, they ignore her and continue up the ramp. Britney grabs the microphone from the announcer then nails a stretcher bearer in the back of the head such that he drops Miley. Britney’s wild by now but still no one expects her to start whaling away with punches to her downed partner as she strapped to the stretcher board! That shock is magnified when Miss Spears lifts one side of the stretcher with Miley on it and tips it over the edge of the ramp falling down in another brutal looking landing. Britney holds the mic up and offers her thoughts.
“I’ve have had enough! I have had enough of you leaving me fucking short handed bitch! Every fucking match you get taken out, well no fucking more!”
And with that Britney Spears drops down to the side of the ramp where a motionless Miley is lying and uses the mic to direct a flurry of blows to her young partners’ forehead until it is busted open, she then unstraps Miley from the stretcher and proceeds to start kicking the shit out of her while dragging her towards the backstage area and away from the ring.
Back in the ring Taylor Swift is being systematically destroyed. Elizabeth Hurley gave her a series of hard bodyslams and suplex’s, pausing after each one to remove a part of the American’s outfit until, after a superplex from the top she’s left lying stark naked in centre ring. At that point Elizabeth tags in Eva Green and The Duchess’s body guard sticks with the high impact moves nailing two high, hard chokeslams and two powerbombs until Taylor is nigh on unconscious. At that point Pippa Middleton gets the tag, the younger sister of Kate then hauls a groggy Taylor to her feet and positions her head between her legs and with Eva’s help hoists her upside down before dropping back and hitting a piledriver.
Pippa, who everyone thought would be the weak link in this match, then slowly covers Miss Swift for the 1..2…3.
Your winners in 4:01 are PIPPA MIDDLTON, EVA GREEN and ELIZBETH HURLEY, and with Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift both destroyed and Britney Spears seemingly splitting from them the BRATPACK (as the young American group that also included Selena Gomez, Ariana Grande, Sarah Hyland and Ariel Winter had become known as ) have suffered a heavy setback.
*
Backstage Carmen Electra is entering Jennifer Aniston’s dressing room where the World Champion is berating Jennifer Love Hewitt for losing the opener earlier in the night.
“You dumb bitch! You stupid, fucking useless cunt! All you had to do was beat that short ass bitch and I get the rest of the night off!
“S-Sorry Mistress, I’m sorry”
Jennifer Love Hewitt has become such a weak willed sap since Aniston beat her for the World Title then made her her slave for six months, but seeing her cowed and fearful like this is a shock compared to what she once was. The World Champion slaps her hard in the face and drags her by the hair over to a bench in the dressing room.
“Bend over! Stay there bitch until I say different.”
Aniston then turns and glares at Carmen and snarls at the camera.
“Well Melissa well done, I guess you’ve ‘earned’ a shot at MY world title. But as per my stipulations I get to decide the stipulations for your shot and given the bloody theme tonight I have decided on a Singapore Cane match. Bitch you’d better not move now (this snapped at JLH cowering over the bench).”
And with that Jennifer Aniston picked up a Singapore cane and proceeded to cane JLH’s peachy backside viciously ten times until the big breasted brunette is bawling her eyes out crying and begging for her Mistress to stop.
*
Next up we have the first in what’s sure to be a series of matches between two strong, determined women known for their prominent posteriors, Jennifer Lopez versus Nicki Minaj. They clashed backstage at Bitchmania II and predictably they have spent the time since then bad mouthing and bitching about each other. So the time for threats and trash talk is over now the two big assed singers will meet in the squared circle with nothing but pride on the line but perhaps that is the biggest prize for these two female warriors.
Nicki comes to the ring to her hit song ‘Anaconda” clad in a florescent pink string bikini that struggles to contain her bulging curves already. She is clearly the favourite of the crowd, if not for that extremely hot outfit then for the fact she’s facing such a universally disliked figure in Jennifer Lopez. Miss Lopez comes to the ring in a white and black one piece swimsuit to her own ode to her ass ‘Booty’ and although she’s 14 years older than her black opponent she still has an amazing figure.
When the bell rings they stalk towards each other and face off in centre ring, Nicki talking trash which see’s J-Lo lose her cool too and before long each has bitch slapped the other real hard. From there they plunge their hands into the others hair and start pulling and tugging for all their worth and with Nicki losing her balance they are soon on the mat rolling about, hair pulling, scratching at each other and spitting names and curses – it’s a real old fashioned celebrity catfight and not surprisingly, the crowd love it and react accordingly.
Eventually they end up rolling right under the bottom rope and crash to the floor, Nicki on the bottom and taking the brunt of the blow on her back. Jennifer delivers some hard slaps to Nicki’s face before getting up and hooking her hand in her opponents top to haul her up. She made it half way before that thin pink material snapped and Nicki crashed back down to the concrete with both her of surgically tits bouncing free.
And what a target they made for the vindictive Lopez, leaning down to fasten her hands on them and drag Nicki to her feet by just her big nipples, before using them to pull and sort of Irish whip Nicki by them so she slammed into the ringpost outside the ring. In command now J-Lo followed up with a kick to Nicki’s guts before lifting her and rolling her back in the ring. She followed and rolled on top for a very early 1 count.
Keeping on the offense Jennifer lifted her foe again painfully by her teats, before flinging her into a corner then following up with a series of punches and uppercuts to those big bouncing, black breasts. She followed those up with elbows then retreated to the opposite corner and primed herself before charging across the ring, turning at the last minute and slamming her famous ass right into Nicki. That dropped the rapper on her own ass in the corner and J-Lo loved that, laughing at her then turning, sexily wiggling her ass and moving to smother Nicki’s face with it as she lay in the corner.
Seeing that fate approaching her through blurry eyes Nicki reacted quickly, lifting her right arm up between J-Lo’s thighs with an uppercut low blow which the ref admonished but who cared? That staggered Jennifer and Nicki crawled between her legs then stood up, wrapping her arms around J-Lo’s shins as she went and hoisting the Latino up on her shoulders. Nicki paused a moment the fell backwards dropping J-Lo hard on her back in centre ring then covered her for a 2 count.
Annoyed at how things had gone up to then Nicki began to unload on Jenny, grabbing her light brown hair and smashing her face repeatedly into the canvas then holding against the canvas and rubbing it back and forth harshly, burning it up. Then she lifted her up by the hair, hooked her head and arm and hit a nasty looking double armed DDT that spiked the older woman’s skull into the mat and gained a close 2 count. Nicki lifted Jennifer’s dazed head up and slapped her contemptuously before snarling.
“Bitch, you wanna mess with my breasts, let’s see how you like getting real up close with them!”
And with that Nicki pulled Jennifer’s face right into the soft embrace of her copious cleavage. Now the smart money was on this match ending with a smother but surely it would be at one of the singers rear ends but as Jennifer weakly beat her arms on Nicki’s side it looked like another ending was likely. The crowd roared its approval as Nicki stood and Jennifer kneeled and began to fade. Then with a desperate burst of energy the Latino superstar forced her feet under her, wrapped her own arms around Nicki and twisted and swivelled her hips and threw Nicki with a belly-to-belly suplex that splatted her into the mat and left both women on the back panting and winded.
They took a moment to get their breath back before both getting to their knees almost simultaneously. Facing each other they traded slaps before J-Lo again fastened her talons on Nicki’s nipples and twisted them hard. In agony Nicki rocked back then came forward and landed a head-butt to her opponent’s cheek that forced a break and started bruising almost immediately. Stunned Jennifer was easy pickings for several more punches to the face and then a kick to the gut that doubled her over whereupon Nicki hooked her arms, positioned her head between her thighs and nailed her with a Pedigree that slammed Lopez face first into the canvas.
Nicki shunned the potential pinfall attempt as she kicked Lopez over onto back, instead she pulled her string bikini bottom right into her ass crack then stood over her downed foe before slowly lowering her big, black ass down onto J-Lo’s unmoving face, burying her nose in that ass. The crowd went wild at this and it even brought Jennifer’s two young protégé’s out to ringside, Iggy Azalea and Rita Ora to implore their mentor to escape. Which she just about managed, Nicki didn’t have Jenifer’s arms clasped so Jenny was able to slide her face out a bit and with great flexibility reach her legs up under Nicki’s arms to hook them and roll her over into a rolling pinfall that surprise Nicki and got a close 2 count before she kicked out.
Livid, and not a little embarrassed ,about having her face in Nicki Minaj’s ass Jennifer turns nasty now and drives a punch right between her foes legs as she get to her knees first. Then stands and punts a kick in there too and as Nicki kneels there stunned Jennifer backs up and drives her knee into the black woman’s face slamming her on her back. Having got her rage out in that burst of offense J-Lo gets a grip and begins to hit a few moves. First a high leg drop right across Nicki’s throat then she stands on Nicki’s hair, takes another firm grip on her nipples and then pulls up with all her might.
What a sight that made, as hundreds of camera’s flashed taking the picture, as Jennifer Lopez leaned back hauling at Nicki’s tits, elongating them obscenely, stretching her nipples horribly and making the black singer cry out in agony. And it’s at this point the referee realises this is a submission chance and asks if Nicki wants to give up, she cries out “NO!!” but looks in terrible pain. Indeed her release only comes when Jenny’s hold on Nicki’s nips becomes too slippery and she drops her back flat on the mat. Clearly Jennifer should continue this type of attack but she’s still fuming from the earlier attempts to smother her and seeing NIcki flat out the temptation is too strong for revenge, so she drops down her big ass right on Nicki’s face from a height and holds it there with her arms aloft , much to the crowds annoyance.
Clearly, while both women want to win, they also want that win to be by their famous asses. Nicki escapes the same way Jennifer did, by hooking her legs up and rolling through but only gets a 1 count as Jenny escapes. After this time both are tiring but their hatred for each other seems to drive them on, Jenny strikes again with a hard punch to Nicki’s right tit before hauling her up and whipping her into the ropes. But Nicki managed to snag the top rope as she rebounded and stopped herself returning to where J-Lo was already leaping for a drop kick. Of course it hit nothing but air and the Latino lovely crashed to the canvas. Nicki saw her chance and struck dropping three elbows to Lopez’s chest before pushing Jennifer’s arms in behind her back and then lowering her big black ass one more time onto Jennifer’s horrified, shaking head.
Nicki held Jennifer’s arms in place at the elbows and pressed her ass further and further onto her face, the victory surely assured as all Jennifer could do was kick her legs ineffectively. But then I guess that is what minions are for as Iggy Azalea seeing the bleak situation slid into the ring and drove a knee right into the back of Nicki’s head. That knocked her off but also caused the referee to call for the bell.
Your winner in 16:11 by Disqualification is NICKI MINAJ.
Nicki turned to face Iggy only to be jumped from behind by Rita Ora and the two young singers swarmed the tired Nicki with a barrage of blows that eventually put her down on the mat on her back. As Iggy got down beside her and wrapped her arms around Nicki’s throat in a rear naked choke Rita helped a spluttering Jennifer Lopez to her feet and after recovering Jennifer urged Iggy to put down a fading Nicki. Iggy released her hold and helped Jennifer to fold Nicki’s arms under her own body and then while Iggy and Rita held down a leg each Jennifer Lopez pressed her own ass down upon Nicki Minaj’s nearly unconscious face. Nicki gave a little moan just as her face was engulfed then nothing, she struggled a bit but that swiftly halted and she faded out of consciousness at the arse of her hated enemy. The referee kept shouting for them to get off but J-Lo left her ass smother in place for a full minute and when she did get up Nicki Minaj was completely out.
It doesn’t look like that’s the end of it either, as Rita and Iggy drag Nicki’s lifeless carcass to a corner and prop her on the bottom turnbuckle, but before more humiliation can be heaped on Nicki the World Tag Champions, Rihanna and Katy Perry race to the ring and chase the three heels away and stand over Nicki’s body to prevent any further desecration.
*
Megan Fox’s face then appears on the screen to a huge chorus of boos, the 29 years old smiles at the noise and sexily licks her lips. The camera pans back to show Kate Upton standing beside her, microphone in hand, and the two of them watching the aftermath of Megan’s Bitchmania war with Angelina Jolie, who she’ll face again tonight. The video is at the point where an almost unconscious Angelina is tipped off her stretcher and is then brutally ass fucked by Megan with a monster strap on dildo.
It was uncomfortable viewing then and still is, even more so considering Megan is clearly touching herself up while watching it. Rubbing her breasts with one hand while the other fumbles down the front of her jeans to frig herself.
Kate is clearly disgusted and struggles to even force herself to speak, eventually, as Megan’s rubbing becomes more frantic, making a noise and tossing down her mic and running off.
“Fucking prissy bitch!” exclaimed Megan as she continued to watch the after match destruction of her former partner.
Then Megan gave a little moan, bit her lip and clearly made herself cum live on camera. After a moment those ice cold blue eyes of hers refocus on the camera and her tongue traces the diameter of her lips and she hisses.
“Guess what Angie? I brought a friend tonight, one you know intimately.”
And with that she holds up her large strap on.
“And if you didn’t like him in you last time, just imagine how it’ll be when I wrap him in barbed wire before fucking you tonight”
And on that, frankly, disturbing image the camera fades to black.
*
Back to the ring where the first championship of the evening is up for grabs. Junior Heavyweight Champion Emma Watson will defend her title against Ariana Grande in a first blood match, where the first slut to start bleeding once the match starts will be declared the winner.
Ariana enters the ring first, dressed in glittery silver bra top and shorts, ironically to her own song “Problem” and boy might she have a problem tonight, given that the group of rebels she’s attached herself to kinda self exploded earlier tonight, with Britney Spears turning on Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift being absolutely destroyed. Which still leaves Selena Gomez, Sarah Hyland and Ariel Winter to watch her back if need be but they would be badly outnumbered by The Duchess’s Royal Court if it became a numbers game.
And Emma Watson’s entrance suggests it may well be as she’s accompanied by both Victoria Beckham and Kelly Brook to the ring. Emma is clad in a black, two piece bikini and as she reluctantly hands her belt to the referee she launches her attack on Ariana diving forward, spearing her before sending a barrage of punches to the American’s face, clearly going for an early eyebrow cut or bloody nose.
With the bell ringing to start the contest Ariana rolls desperately outside but is met by Victoria and Kelly who lay the boots to her and toss her back into the ring. As that happens the screen goes split screen and we see Selena, Sarah and Ariel exit their dressing room to come to ringside to try and help their friend. But they are cut off by Kate and Pippa Middleton, Eva Green, Liz Hurley and Keira Knightley. Outnumbered the American teenagers retreat back to their dressing room so Ariana is on her own out there. And she’s taking a kicking early on with Emma basically beating her around the ring, letting her get to her hands and knees before kicking her hard again.
Ariana’s long hair is a target too and Emma uses it to drag her around the ring before snap marring her over by it then pulling her up and whipping her to the ropes. But then we see Ariana’s moves and she bounces back, leaps beautifully and hits a hurancanrana that sends Emma flying across the ring. Ariana follows up with flips, kicks and evades at a speed rarely seen in this ring before nailing Emma on the chin with a dropkick that sends the English girl sprawling out between the ropes where Kelly catches her.
Not to be stopped though Ariana vaults to the top rope and fly’s out of the ring with a crossbody block that takes Kelly and Emma down and flattens then all at ringside. Emma and Kelly untangled themselves and scrambled to their feet , Ariana had scrambled back in the ring, bounced off the far ropes then rebounded and threw herself through the ropes to nail them with a death defying dive that left all three flattened on the concrete. Ariana was first up and raised her hands to the crowd’s acclaim only to be turned around from behind as first Victoria Beckham slapped the young American then lifted her other hand which had an aerosol in it and sprayed it right in Ariana’s eyes.
It was a form of pepper spray and Ariana was clearly blinded by it as she immediately covered her eyes with her arm and cried out. The referee seemed about to signal for a disqualification but under first blood rules the only thing that mattered was which of these bitches bled first. Plus under this new regime the officials were reluctant to go against the Duchess’s faction. Emma got up, slammed a forearm into her opponents back then rolled her back into the ring before setting to giving her a beating.
First up Emma Watson kicked hell out of Ariana, booting her in the gut, the ribs then the face. With her down on her back Emma mounted her and began to measure hard punch after hard punch to the America’s pretty features, clearly trying to open a hardway cut that would win her this match. There were some bludgeoning violent blows to Ariana’s pretty face and she started to bruise but no blood. Frustrated the English Champion snarled at Kelly Brook outside.
“Get the Bolly!”
Kelly scurried to the announcers table and bent under it to produce a large bottle of Bollinger which she brought back to the ring where Victoria grabbed it and smashed it against the steel ring post before carefully climbing up onto the ring apron and presenting the jagged end of the bottle towards the ring where Emma had hauled Ariana to her feet and slapped her into a full nelson and was beginning to push her forward towards the vicious looking glass.
Just then a figure burst from the crowd and nailed Kelly Brook with a running clothesline and pulled Beckham by her ankles causing her to crash to the ground and drop the bottle where it smashed into lots of pieces beside the other half of it. Only then did the figure pause and the camera revealed her as Jennifer Lawrence. That seemed to delight the crowd especially as J-Law then delivered another clothesline to Kelly Brook just as the busty British model was getting up.
In the ring Emma had not seen exactly what had gone down but was aware, something was wrong, this meant she loosened her grip on Ariana who, in turn kicked her leg back on instinct and caught Emma right between the legs, that broke the Full Nelson. Ariana then grabbed her and whipped her to the ropes but Emma instead dropped and slid under the ropes to avoid flying back into a move. However, Ariana saw this and vaulted over the rope nimbly then launched herself off and grabbed the back of Emma’s head on the way to drive her face into the concrete with a leaping bulldog headlock!
Or rather drive her face into the concrete and the shards of glass sprinkled over it as could be seen when Emma rolled over and her face was a mess of cuts with bits of glass still stuck in it and bleeding pretty heavily. The referee saw this and immediately signalled for the bell.
Your winner in 6.15 and new JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION is ARIANA GRANDE.
Almost immediately Catherine Zeta Jones and the rest of the Royal Family storm towards the ring so Jennifer Lawrence grabs the belt and passes it to Ariana and the two young American’s celebrate with a delighted crowd as they hop the barrier and disappear into the masses.
*
There follow a couple of backstage interviews, first up Kate Upton interviews Melissa Rauch.
KATE : Melissa, congratulations on your win earlier tonight, beating a former World Heavyweight Champion, Jennifer Love Hewitt now earns you a shot at the World Champion herself, tonight. The big news since then being that Jennifer Aniston has said this will be a Singapore Cane match and that the loser will be caned 25 times in centre ring after the match. Tell us how you are feeling.
MELISSA: I don’t care what kind of match that bitch wants! I’ll take her on anywhere, anyhow. Tonight is for Kaley and it is for me, tonight you get a new World Champion and you get to see Jennifer Aniston beaten like she should have been a long time ago!
The second interview is with Rita Ora & Iggy Azalea, fresh off helping Jennifer Aniston attack Nicki MInaj after their bout. They don’t say too much but do look fantastic and menacing and make it clear they want a shot at the World Tag Team Titles sooner rather than later.
*
And as if by coincidence next up is the World Tag Team Championship match, pitting Champs Rihanna and Katy Perry versus Shakira and Sofia Vergara.
This was a fast paced, athletic contest between two fan favourite teams with no underhand tactics being employed by either side. Katy started things off against Sofia and the cleavage on show from both in their bikini’s was certainly impressive and they shared a series of blocks and slams and throws with Katy just about having the advantage by the time they both tagged in their partners almost simultaneously. Rihanna versus Shakira was more fast paced with Rihanna looking particularly smooth once she took control with a nice sequence of reversals finishing with her hitting a spinning headscissors that sent Shakira spinning from the ring.
With her Colombian opponent outside Rihanna scaled the turnbuckle and launched a plancha that missed its target and she crashed into the concrete floor, giving the challengers a major advantage. Shakira rolls her back in and immediately tags in Sofia who starts to really physically dominate Rihanna, a series of body slams, a clothesline and a running slam elicit a two count, before she hoists her high into an over the shoulder back breaking torture rack. Sofia holds Rihanna up there for nearly a minute and the black beauty is clearly in great distress, but she does not quit and as Sofia tires her grip lessens Rihanna managed to squirm out and wriggle down Sofia’s back and hook her over with a cradle that got a near fall before the Colombian kicked out.
From there they both made tags and Katy and Shakira traded punches and chops with the brunette coming out on top and dominating the blonde from there hitting a series of near falls before moving onto delivering a couple of double team finishers in tandem with Rihanna including putting her away with a combination leg sweep (Katy Perry) and a Scorpion Death Drop (Rihanna) that put Shakira down for the 3 count.
The winners in 7:51 and still World Tag Team Champions are KATY PERRY and RIHANNA.
Afterwards Shakira and Sofia shake the winner’s hands and congratulate them before leaving the ring to a round of applause it’s not often you see sportwomanship in the Federation and the fans appreciate it. Then Katy and Rihanna head up the ramp with the belts but as they make the top, two figures burst through the curtains and Pearl Harbour them!
It’s Rita Ora and Iggy Azalea and they have each got a steel dog collar and chain leash wrapped around their fists and before the champs know it they have taken a few chain assisted punches to their faces and dropped on the ramp. Rita takes Rihanna and lashes her indiscriminately with the chain before locking the collar around her neck then laying in more brutal punches and kicks. Iggy is doing exactly the same to Katy Perry. Then the heels lead the Champs down the ramp by their collars on hands and knees and once they are at the ring they wrap the chains multiple times around the Champs faces before ramming then ten times each face first into the steel ringpost. As they collapse unconscious to the floor both champions are bust open and bleeding over the chains wrapped around their pretty faces.
*
Backstage Kate Middleton is incandescent with rage and is swearing bloody murder and revenge for Jennifer Lawrence. We’ve not seen The Duchess with such a temper before and it’s quite shocking, she’s lost her cool completely and chucks stuff around her dressing room and berates the likes of Liz Hurley and Emma Watson and even goes as far as slapping Kelly Brook hard across her face. Eva Green broods menacingly at Kate’s shoulder so none of the others dare to stand up to her. Catherine Zeta Jones though tries to reason with her.
“Your majesty, please, calm down! I’ll deal with the America slut, I’ll show her. I’ll make a match between me and her for the next PPV and show her how a real woman deals with these young pretenders!”
“You’d fucking better Catherine, and I’ll tell you what if you don’t I will fire your stupid Welsh ass right out there in the ring!”
Cut to Commissioner Catherine Zeta Jones face at that bit of news, looks like she’s taken on more than she expected.
*
Next up is one of the feature bouts of this PPV. There’s an excited buzz as a pole is erected in one corner of the ring and a ring hand then ascends a step ladder to hang a baseball bat absolutely covered in barbed wire from it.
And it seems that with Kate Middleton having taken her rage out on Catherine Zeta Jones, Catherine is going to take it out on the rest of the competitors, marching out to the ramp stage and announcing that the competitors in the last three matches of the night will all be required to compete in their matches completely nude, which actually has pretty serious implications given the potentially barbarically bloody nature of these featured bouts. As we are about to witness…
A ten foot pole is erected and attached to a corner post and a technician ascends a high ladder to loop a wire attached to a baseball bat handle to the pole. Around the wide end of the bat is wrapped layer upon layer of vicious looking barbed wire. In this upcoming match, a pinfall or submission can only be gained once the bat has been retrieved from the pole and once it is play it can be used in any manner the combatants want to. There are no disqualifications.
First to the ring is Pink, she doesn’t look to happy about being naked except for her black jackboots but the blonde does look stunning as she smokes a cigarette and prowls towards the ring, sneering at the unappreciative, cat-calling crowd.
Next out is her opponent Beyoncé, wearing just white boots and again she has an incredible figure for everyone to admire. This is an extension of the race wars The Klan and Beyoncé have engaged in recent months and is expected to be a very tough, even contest. The two Amazons meet in centre ring (with Beyoncé’s 6 cm height advantage evident) and lock eyes as the referee gives the instructions. Pink still has that cigarette and she takes one last draw from it before suddenly pointing to the top of the ramp, as Beyoncé turns to look the blonde deliberately stubs the burning cigarette right into her opponent’s right nipple and grinds it in! Beyoncé screams and tries to cover her boob but that leaves her open to a hard knee right between her thighs that drops her to her knees. Pink then reverses and charges forward to boot Beyoncé in the head and put her down before really putting the boots to her, kicking and stamping all over her as the bell rings to start the bout officially.
Pink casually puts her finger against one nostril then blows the contents of the other side out onto Beyoncé then turns around and heads to the pole. She climbs the ropes in the corner and is on the top turnbuckle and preparing to pull herself up the pole when Beyoncé forces herself up and runs to the corner, knocking Pink’s legs from her so that she drops and crotches herself on the bolt between turnbuckle and post. Still smarting at the visible burn on her tit Beyoncé the climbed up to the second turnbuckle behind Pink, grabbed her short blonde hair and used it to smash her face ten times (with the fans counting each one) into the pole in front of her. After the tenth a groggy Pink, slipped off the buckle and clattered hard to the outside floor, smacking the apron on her descent.
Beyoncé took a moment to peer up at the deadly bat above and seemed to consider climbing after it but instead stepped through the ropes and dropped to the floor besides Pink’s carcass, she obviously decided that her opponent was not sufficiently worn down as yet to make an attempt to retrieve the bat. Instead she hauled Pink to her feet by her hair and Irish whipped her forcefully into the metal crowd barrier, then followed up with a huge uppercut that sent the racist blonde spinning over the barrier and into the crowd.
Beyonce leaned over the barrier and lifted Pink up again by her hair and hooked her arm over her and attempted to lift her up to suplex her back over and onto the concrete floor but she couldn’t quite manage it because Pink hooked her leg around an audience member and then used her strength to reverse things, lifting Beyoncé up then dropping her down hard, ribs first across the top of the metal barrier. As she hung there Pink grabbed a folding metal chair from the crowd and landed a hard chair shot right on Beyoncé’s back that toppled her over into the crowd. Then with her lying there Pink drove the top edge of the chair into Beyonce’s throat and pushed it in hard, choking her, before drawing it back only to ram it back in again. Finally, Pink backed off and allowed Beyoncé to slowly rise to her knees before absolutely smashing the chair down right across her skull, dropping her like a stone to the floor with the frame of the chair still wrapped around her head.
Laughing Pink hopped the crowd barrier and pulled up the curtain over the apron and dragged out the ladder that had been used to put the bat in place in the first place. She set it on the floor, climbed it, hopped to the top turnbuckle them shimmied her way up the pole far enough to unhooked the barbed wire baseball bat before dropping back down to the ring. Once there the cocky 36 year old holds the bat aloft and poses looking for all the world like a warrior woman from yesteryear s the crowd boo her. To goad them further she pricks her thumb on a barb and shows them its drawn blood.
Fun had she exits the ring and stalks to where Beyoncé had pulled herself up to, her arms and head resting on the top of the crowd barrier. And that looks to be a very dangerous place to be as Pink is swinging the bat very confidently as she approaches. The crowd give a gasp as Pink lifts the bat high and smashes it down towards the back of her opponents head. Fortunately Beyoncé managed to move and the bat smashes into the barrier and the hard vibrations run right up her arms.
Pink cried out and dropped the bat, Beyoncé pulled herself up and spun to deliver a roundhouse kick over the barrier that connected with the side of the blonde’s head. Beyonce then climbed over the railing and pounced on her downed opponent, straddling her chest and firing off a series of jabs, punches and slaps as the crowd cheered her on. And then she spied the bat. She stretched over and picked it up by the handle and lowered it towards Pink’s forehead and too late the blonde saw what was coming, she tried to get her hands up to block it but Beyoncé pushed down and pressed the wire into her pale skin then cruelly rolled it up then down then up again on Pink’s forehead. Pink screamed and thrashed her arms and legs and eventually threw Beyoncé off. This allowed the camera to get a close up and see that Pink was bleeding from several spots on her head. First blood to Beyoncé!
Wiping at her face and seeing her hand come away bloody had an effect on Pink though, she gave a guttural roar and jumped up and speared a shocked Beynce on the floor, sending the baseball bat spinning under the ring. Not that Pink noticed or cared, she was in a feral rage and was slashing at her foe’s face with her sharpened nails and after a few cuts when Beyoncé covered up she instead targeted her tits and slashed and ripped at them before pulling Beyoncé up and nailing her on the nose with a head-butt that sent the black girl spiralling away to lean on the ring post. Pink followed up by grabbing Beyoncé by her hair and ramming her face into the steel post and now Beyoncé’s busted open too, bleeding from her nose and lip.
And now she remembers the bat, leaving Beyoncé groggily hanging onto the ring post while Pink lifts the apron, scans the floor and reached under to get the barbed wire wrapped baseball bat. Retrieving it she stands and measures Beyoncé for a home run but Beyoncé ducks again, however, Pink was thinking this time and stopped her swing in time to stop hitting the metal and instead grabbed Beyoncé by the hair before one handed smacking the bat into her forehead something she does again and again and again until Beyoncé’s forehead is busted wide open and she’s dripping blood on the floor. And now, finally, Pink throws her back into the ring under the bottom rope, stalking in behind her still gripping the baseball bat.
In the centre of the ring Pink pulls Beyoncé to her knees by the blood soaked hair and stands behind her, holds the bat aloft and roars before driving it down into her opponents forehead again, then holding it in there and grinding it in mercilessly. When she’s finally done she steps around and this time hits her home run, driving the bat right into Beyoncé’s unprotected tits.
Pink kicks Beyoncé onto her back and casually places her foot on her bloody tits and demands the referee counts. ONE…TWO… THR – NO! Beyoncé weakly kicks her arm up and off the canvas. Irritated Pink stands over her and lifts the bat vertical to pound it down into Beyoncé’s gut no doubt to grind the barbs in there too. But before she can, Beyoncé desperately kicks up and catches her right between the legs and Pink staggers back from the blow. Her face now smeared in her own blood Beyoncé forces herself to her feet in just enough time to stop Pink’s next swing of the bat, grabbing her by the wrist and as they struggle kneeing her hard between the legs, forcing Pink back and wrenching the bat from her grip.
Literally swiping the blood from her eyes Beyoncé grips the bat, swings and smashes at Pink, she just managed to turn in time but still it hits her on the bare shoulder and a couple of barbs stick so that when Beyoncé roughly hauls it out the blonde cries out. The next swing target’s Pink’s milky white tits, connecting and ripping at them. And her third shot was right to the face, a full blown baseball swing that connected sickeningly with Pink and sent her straight down to the mat. After a few more clubbing one handed shots Pink’s face and hair was as bloody a mess as Beyoncé’s and with her on her hands and knees was easy prey for Beyoncé to wrap her arm around her throat, mount her from behind and snake her long legs tightly around Pink’s waist.
What a visual it made as Beyoncé strained to pour pressure on and blood literally squeezed out of the cuts on both their faces as Pink went limper and limper until on the third check her hand slumped with no resistance to the mat and the bell rang on this bloodbath.
Your winner in 12:21 is BEYONCÉ.
After the bell rings Beyoncé collapses on top of her defeated foe before very slowly lifting her head and crawling towards the rope and away and couple of EMT’s rush down to tend to her and she’ll clearly need stitching up. Pink meantime is still lying flat on her back bleeding out so the two EMT’s that see to her head straight to the ring to begin the long job of patching her up.
*
After that brutal insanity we have a change of pace as we go back to the locker rooms where Ariana Grande is celebrating her Junior Championship win with the colleagues. Taylor Swift is there, Selena Gomez, Sarah Hyland, Ariel Winter and they all seem genuinely delighted for their friend. There is no sign of Jennifer Lawrence though.
*
Cut to backstage where Melissa Rauch is being interviewed by Kate Upton about the next match, her earned shot at the World Heavyweight Championship.
“Melissa, you’ve already had a hard match tonight, are you capable of lifting yourself for this hardest of challenges?”
“Well Kate, I guess we’ll see but I’m fired up, this is my chance, I can be champion and I can hurt that bitch Aniston, what she did to Kaley was terr….oooooofff!!
The interview comes to a crashing halt as Jennifer Aniston stands behind Melissa and swings her Singapore cane like and axe and smashes to on the back of the unsuspecting blonde’s skull. Jennifer smirks at Kate as she steps over her opponent on the way to the ring.
Indeed she steps through the curtain holding her broken cane aloft (it had literally broken over Melissa’s skull) and with the World Title around her waist. She’s nude and trailed by an equally nude Jennifer Love Hewitt who is carrying a container that has several more of those deadly bamboo cane in it. She’s announced to a chorus of boos not that Aniston cares she just examines the blood on the canvas from the last match and flips the middle finger to the crowd.
Then Melissa Rauch’s music plays for over a minute but no-one comes out. The crowd are hushed and you can clearly hear Jennifer Aniston demanding that the bell be rung so she is declared the winner, however, just at that moment Melissa crawls out through the curtain, a big cut visible on her head and not looking too well at all. Laboriously she crawls towards the ring, determined to get her shot at the Champ. After the first flush of annoyance Jennifer smiled again and demanded the ring bell be sounded and once it was with a Singapore Cane match being effectively no DQ she hoped out of the ring with her cane and began to whale away on Melissa’s unprotected back with it until it finally gave way and snapped. Then taking the shattered, jagged end in her hand Jennifer used it almost like a knife, jabbing it into Melissa’s forehead and scrapping away until Melissa Rauch’s face was a bloody mess. With one final jab of the cane which was dangerously near her opponents eye, Jennifer tossed the bit of cane away and ordered her slave Jennifer Love Hewitt to hand her another one.
Jennifer lifted Melissa by her blood stained hair and dragged her over to the crowd barrier on one side and draped her over it face first then began to cane the fuck out of Melissa’s exposed bare back and arse. These were vicious, hard shots, raising ugly looking red welts with each stroke and by the time Jennifer tires (some 13 shots later) Melissa Rauch is barely reacting to them as she is pretty much out of it.
The crowd are hating this and Jennifer Aniston feeds on their disapproval, grabbing her opponent off the barrier and gripping her by her bloody hair and ramming her face first into the ring post then pushing her into the ring. She takes another new cane from Love Hewitt’s carrier and slides in after her prey. She picks her up like for a bodyslam but instead charges into a corner, slamming Melissa’s back into the turnbuckle then drapes her there, upside down and carefully pulls her legs apart. There is an intake of breath from the crowd when they realise what the Champion’s intent is, with Melissa’s legs spread apart upside down Jennifer Aniston raises her cane overhead then slashes it down like an axe striking viciously right on Melissa’s cunt!
A blood curdling scream filled the arena and Melissa tried to pulled herself up to cover herself but that was cut off by a couple of kicks to her exposed gut before Jennifer swung the cane again landing right between Melissa Rauch’s legs again. Two more vicious blows landed and Jennifer allowed her foe to flop face first to the canvas
Jen takes the opportunity to strut around the ring, posing as she goes while Melissa somehow manages to rise up to her knees and the cameras are able to show what a fucking mess she is. Her body is battered and bruised and has a range of welts on it, her hair is stained crimson with her own blood and her face is a mask of red. Wearing a stunned expression she manages to prop herself on her knees unaware that behind her Jennifer Aniston is holding her Singapore cane like a golf club and when she’s set she tees off and swing sit brutally into the back of Melissa’s unsuspecting skull!
Melissa is out cold before she flops to the canvas and is easily kicked onto her back by the villainous Miss Aniston (who would have believed she could be even more hated) who then casually places her foot on Melissa’s chest and the referee makes the three count thankful to get this slaughter over.
The winner in 5:32 and still WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION is JENNIFER ANISTON.
Stepping off her defeated foe Jennifer brushes her hands together to indicate that what she had just done was easy and steps out of the ring and grabs a seat at the announce table. Telling the audience and announcers that she’s going to watch the next match to see which bitch she’s going to face next for her belt. She’s still flanked by a cane wielding Jennifer Love Hewitt and is still as smug as ever.
*
There follows a long video package detailing the history between Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox finishing with Angelina’s humiliating rape at the hands (well plastic strap on cock) of Megan at Bitchmania. While this is underway the ring is being transformed, with the ring ropes removed entirely and replaced by three lengths of barbed wire on all four sides. Of course both combatants had thought they would be clothed going into this match but after Kate Middleton’s tantrum earlier they will have to participate in this lethal match in the nude.
29 year old Megan is first to come down the ramp and enter this dangerous arena. She slides carefully under the bottom rope of barbed wire and stands pensive in centre ring, fists clenched, knowing that this huge match is both important and hazardous in equal measures. Seconds later a determined looking Angelina appears on the ramp. The 40 year old has really suffered at the hands of her younger former tag team partner in recent months, taking a hellacious beating when the team split that gave her problems with concussions and then losing a non-sanctioned grudge match at Bitchmania in humiliating fashion, albeit she was nowhere near fit enough to have been competing and everyone knew it. She too rolls carefully under the barbed ropes, noting the already crimson stained canvas from the earlier matches and knowing they were likely to add to it. The referee brought them together and everyone was struck by the similarities in the two sexy women, their slim, sexy figures, their long dark hair and their grim determination and hatred for the other.
Angelina and Megan go nose to nose and stare intently at each other until the referee has to push them apart and signal for the bell. Immediately Mean opens her clenched up right fist and flings it up, chucking a cloud of white right into her former partner’s stunned face. It’s salt, and while Angelina blinks and winks and tried to clear her eyes Megan grabs her by the hair runs across the ring and flings her back first into the barbed wire ropes!
Megan is on her in a flash, driving her knee into Angie’s gut then chopping her and punching her all the while the wire cruelly digs into her bronzed skin. Then she grips Angelina by the hair and hauls her roughly off the wire, scratching and scrapping as she does and goes to Irish whip her across the ring and into the opposite set of wire. Somehow Angelina puts on the breaks and drops to her knees just before crashing into the wire. That’s not the greatest idea though as Megan comes up behind her, grabs her hair again and pushed it forward and down so that the bottom rope of barbed wire is right across Angelina’s forehead. From there Megan gives a cry of delight as she rubs her opponents head right into the barbs, busting her head wide open with blood immediately dripping from it.
Angelina struggles but that just allows Megan to adjust her position and push Angie’s open mouth over the wire and then pull from both sides thus hooking the barbed wire in Miss Jolie’s pouting lips and cheeks and causing more bloodshed. Angie somehow forces her face off the wire and manages to roll under the ropes and a camera gets a good shot of her face which is just a mess of cuts and blood already. Not that Megan Fox cares, she’s also rolled out of the ring and picked up a steel chair and is stalking her former partner with evil intentions.
Angelina had just hauled herself to her feet and was leaning against the corner pole when Megan swung the chair, by some survival instinct Angie ducked and the chair smashed into the post, as Megan dropped the chair Angelina pounced forward and speared her foe on the floor and landed on top of her fists flying laying in punch after punch in a frenzy. When she was done she picked up her former partner, hoisted her over her shoulder and ran at the ring and hurled Megan through the ropes. That was a rough landing for the younger woman as the barbs on the bottom and middle ropes scraped and scratched viciously at her and her arms and hair ended up entangled in the barbed wire as she squealed out in pain. Sliding the chair into the ring under the bottom wire Angelina carefully followed it in and smirked at her former friend struggling and stuck in the wire. Lifting the chair by its folded up legs Angelina measured her foe and drove the end of it into Megan’s gut then her face before pulling her out of the wire as roughly as Megan had done the other way.
Angelina’s face was bloody, Megan’s body was likewise as Angelina pulled her up to her feet, hooked her head and then dropped her in a DDT right on top of the chair on the mat. Angie hooked her leg and demanded the ref count and got a two count before Megan kicked out weakly. She picked Megan up and backed her into the wire, pushing her into it, digging the barbs in before folding each of Megan’s arms over the top wire and around it and the second wire until her arms were trapped in it with various punctures in it. And with her hated enemy trapped Angelina took great delight delivering a series of stinging, loud knife edge chops to Megan’s bare chest until it turned beet red and her own arm tired from delivering the punishment. At that point Angelina hooked her fingers onto Megan’s perky younger tits and pulled down on them by the nipples and got her face right in Megan’s to give her a piece of her mind (and some trash talk).
Big mistake as Megan pulled her head back and delivered a head-butt with all the force she could manage right on the bridge of Miss Jolie’s nose, breaking it with an audible crack and instantly bloodying it. Angelina forgot about her opponent and put her hand instinctively to her injured face which allowed Megan to swing her foot and kick her right between the thighs that dropped her to her knees. Taking the chance to escape Megan tore herself out of the wire ropes. It looked agonising pulling free from the barbs and it drew more blood from her arms but she made it and suitably infuriated stomped over and kicked Angelina in the face before grabbing the chair up off the canvas. Then she stood on Angelina’s arms, exposing her face and drove the edge of the chair down and right onto her broken nose and held it there, grinding it in cruelly as Angie wailed and flailed her legs helplessly.
By the time Megan relented and lifted the chair Angelina’s classically beautiful face was a bloody mess. Megan hauled her to her knees by her hair then stepped back and swung the chair and smashed it off Angelina’s skull hard as she knelt before her. The crowd took their breath, aware of the problems with concussion Angelina had suffered recently.
The crowd really didn’t like Megan and booed her loudly at this point but she just sneered at them as she lifted a lifeless Angelina up then with as much velocity as she could muster Irish whipped her face first into the ropes on the other side of the ring. It was nearly hard enough to take the ropes off and all three sets of wire had barbs stabbing into Angelina’s body, the bottom strand sticking into her legs, the second right across her stomach and the top piercing her large breasts. It looked and was excruciatingly painful.
Megan stalked behind her, still wielding the chair, and took her time to measure up another hard chair shot, this time to Angelina’s completely unprotected back, then a second shot that actually bent the chair out of shape. Megan threw the chair out of the ring and got in behind Angelina and used her body weight to force the barbs deeper whilst using her hands to position the second rope right under Angelina’s tits so that it dug into the soft underside and the top rope was pulled up to scrape at her face again.
All the time Megan is in her ear, goading her, taunting her, telling her how badly she’s messed up and how much worse it’s going to get. As luck would have it they are facing the commentary desks so Megan points out the World Champion and hisses to Angelina that she’ll be the next one to get a shot at that title. Jennifer Aniston sneers at this and has been talking down both potential challengers throughout her commentary. Megan sees that and flips her the bird and fires a volley of verbal abuse the champions way too.
After that Megan retreats across the ring and then runs forward aiming to give Angelina’s back a dropkick from behind, to further skewer her on the barbed wire ropes. From somewhere Angelina found the reserves of strength to shift herself, not fully out of the way, but enough so that Megan’s feet missed her and the younger brunette flew into the wire feet first in the worst possible way. Her legs were either side of the top strand of wire and the barbs there just tore up her thighs and embedded in her cunt, meantime her torso bounced back, fell down and , along with her hair , got entangled in the bottom wires just as Angelina began the slow, painful process of tearing her own skin off the wire. This match was way past the point of brutal now and there is a gasp as Angelina finally plucks herself slowly off the last barb in her tit and falls to the canvas. Megan meantime is literally crying as she tries to pry her legs from off the wire. Angie forces herself up and lands some weak looking punches to Megan’s head, they are weak but really hamper her escape from the wire and indeed in her struggling she just ends up more trapped by it and even ends up pulling the top strand on that side of the ring away from the turnbuckle.
Angelina crawls over to where Megan’s head is upside down and starts to wind the loose strand of wire tightly around Megan’s head and face. Megan desperately tries to prevent this but is no position to and before long her entire features are obliterated in barbed wire. With a strong tug at the other side Angelina has that whole top strand from that side loose and she winds the other end around Megan’s arms, trapping them by her side and winding around them a few times before unceremoniously dragging her legs off the wire and into the centre of the ring. Exhausted it takes a lot out of Angelina to pull her opponent up to her feet and hold her up before kicking her in the gut to double her up then nailing her with something resembling a Pedigree that drives Megan Fox’s barbed wire coated face right into the mat with absolutely no chance of her getting hers hands or arms up to lessen the blow.
Angelina is not quick to roll Megan over and cover it but that doesn’t matter because the referee easily counts to three to bring this bloodbath to an end.
Your winner in 14:41 is ANGELINA JOLIE who is now the No # 1 contender to the World Heavyweight Championship.
However, before she can even celebrate Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Love Hewitt are in the ring and stomping the hell out of her before they double Irish whip Angelina back first into one side of the ring, then they tear her off there before hoisting her up and dumping her down, legs akimbo over the top strand on another side before lastly doing a hotshot that saw Angelina lifted up by both Jennifer’s before being dropped throat first right onto the barbed wire, leaving her bleeding heavily and laid out in the ring as the World Champion and her slave celebrate as the PPV goes off air.