By Dark Cloud

The darkened arena is festooned with all manner of Halloween paraphernalia and the match graphics too have blazing pumpkin heads and skeletons on them as the Federation is trying to embrace the Holiday spirit for this latest big PPV. In fact our opening tag team match has a distinctly Halloween theme though with extremely sinister undertones. It’s a Trick or Treat Lumberjack match, pitting Maisie Williams and Sophie Turner against Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez. The Lumberjacks? There are three burly men on each side of the ring, all naked except for a Halloween mask and all of them are convicted rapists. If a participant gets thrown from the ring to the outside then the three men on that side have 60 seconds to do what they like to her unless she can get back in the ring. Making it all the more risky for the four young women is the fact that they will all be stark naked for this opening match of the night.

In addition to the rather extreme stipulations there is also the fact that both teams are currently part of the ongoing feud in the Federation between Kate Middleton’s Royal Faction and the young Americans who are being led by Jennifer Lawrence. With that dispute likely to come to a head at next month’s War Games PPV inside the confines of a double rings steel cage this (and other clashes tonight) could well give one side an advantage.

First out are the lumberjacks and what a motley crew they look, the muscled, tattooed men are of a variety of ethnic backgrounds and all are wearing Halloween masks, there’s a Leatherface mask, a Freddy Krueger mask, a Jason mask and a Ghostface mask to name but four. And there’s no escaping that all the men are pretty well hung and in a state of semi arousal before the nubile combatants are even out.

First to enter the ring are the English actresses, Maisie (19) and Sophie (20) showed their vicious natures at the last PPV and look similarly hard as the descend the ramp wearing matching heavy capes (with clearly nothing on beneath). Despite their hard exterior both gave concerned glances to the masked men that leered and gesticulated and called out to them from the ringside. But the girls made it into the ring and undid the capes and let them drop to reveal their slim, nubile pale skinned bodies.

Then to an upbeat pop song best friends, Selena and Taylor emerged and held hands and waved to the crowd as they descended the ramp, they were both going out naked and both showed incredible tanned figures. At 24 and 26 respectively they were both older than their foes but neither had shown the killer instinct the Game Of Thrones actresses had in their demolition of Sarah Hyland and Ariel Winter last month.

With all four in the ring the nervous referee instructs two to get out onto the apron and, as you can imagine, no-one seems in a hurry to do that. But eventually the match kicks off with Taylor Swift matching up to Sophie Turner. It’s a slow, tentative start with the attention as much on the masked strangers around the ring and the two partners sticking close to their corners outside the ring. But eventually Sophie mounts an attack shooting in to grab at Taylor’s legs and bring her down, Taylor goes down but rolls with her and gets a mount herself and delivers a few slaps before Sophie reverses it and nails a couple of punches to Taylor’s face before they roll again and both girls suddenly realise they are perilously close to rolling out of the ring and right into the middle of the waiting three masked assailants on that side of the ring. They separated and scrambled away from the peril, Taylor not realising it though backed into Sophie and Maisie’s corner whereupon Maisie reached in and yanked hard on her hair. Taylor swivelled to lash out at her attacker but Maisie leaned back out of the way and in a flash Sophie had taken advantage and planted a running knee right in Miss Swift’s back.

Winded, Taylor Swift dropped to her knees in her opponents corner and endured a bit of a beating for the next couple of minutes as Sophie laid in more knees from behind, then grabbed her by the hair and bounced her forehead repeatedly against the turnbuckle, then spun her around and lashed in a stinging series of knife edge chops before tagging in her partner. Maisie had a cruel smile on her face and viciously grabbed Taylor by her nipples and twisted them harshly then used them as a means to flip Taylor over and out of the corner to take a hard bump on her back. Taylor instinctively grabbed at her sore tits and nearly paid for it as Maisie grabbed her from behind and ran towards the ropes to try and flip her over the ropes and into the arms of the waiting masked men. Almost at the last second Taylor saw the danger and grabbed the ropes and stopped herself from going all the way over and scrambled back under the bottom rope.

But Maisie was relentless and stamped down viciously on her downed foe repeatedly before dragging her to her feet and flinging her across the ring and following up from behind to try and toss her out to the waiting lumberjacks on the other side of the ring. Taylor somehow held on but was teetering over the top rope with Maisie driving in behind her trying to get her over and after a bit of desperate jostling looked to have succeeded but at the last minute Taylor hooked her legs around Maisie and as Taylor went over she held onto the ropes for dear life and her momentum brought Maisie over behind her and the young Englishwoman hadn’t managed to hooked the ropes and so dropped right into the waiting, grasping hands of the three perverts on that side of the ring.

For a minute there was carnage as the Ghostface, Frankenstein and Dracula masked men converged on Maisie Williams. The muscled man in the Ghostface mask literally caught her as she fell out and easily flipped her over, spread her legs and inserted his dick into her tight ass in almost once fluid move. Within 20 seconds of her leaving the ring Maisie was being held up and ass fucked whilst the other two guys slapped their dicks on her face. In the ring Taylor Swift looked horrified as she sat on her ass and contemplated how close it had been that it was her in Maisie’s position.

It was brutal and degrading and despite Maisie not being a crowd favourite there was tangible concern for her as she was assaulted, if ever a demonstration was needed of the consequences of ending up outside the ring in this match this was it as the small brunette teenager was pillaged with abandon until the 1 minute timer wet off and she had to be released back into the ring.

Maisie curled up in a foetal position and seemed to be crying about her horrific experience, Taylor wasn’t quite sure what to do and reached down to move her arm to check if she was OK but as she did Maisie grabbed Taylor’s hair and hauled her over and very nearly out through between the rope to the waiting men. Taylor only just managed to snag the ropes again and avoid a terrible fate. Cursing Maisie crawled quickly across the canvas and tagged in Sophie Turner again. Taylor decided to do the same and tagged in Selena for the first time in the match.

Selena and Sophie charged at each other, each fired up all the more from seeing Maisie’s ordeal. They clashed in centre ring and traded punches and slaps and chops until it appeared Selena was coming off best but Sophie bent forward and came in close as if she was about to go down then hammered her knee up right between Selena’s thighs dropping her to her knees. That put her head at the perfect position for Sophie to drive that same deadly knee right into the brunette’s face, knocking her over onto the canvas. That allowed Sophie to haul her opponent up and hook on a suplex but instead of dropped her backwards stepped forwards and dropped Selena gut first right across the top rope, with her feet dangling precariously over the men on that side of the ring. She held on for dear life but that proved her undoing because with two hands on the tope rope she had nothing to block the kick through the ropes to her gut then a hard forearm smash to her chin that sent the cute American tumbling backwards and into the arms of Freddy Krueger.

Selena struggled like a wildcat and the man dropped her but she landed perfectly on her knees and by then the other two men were over her too and between them they held her head in place and forced a metal O ring into her mouth to hold it open. And then the guy wearing the Freddy mask began to mouth fuck Selena at a furiously hard pace. The other two tried to prise their dicks into the former Disney starlet’s stretched lips too but just ended up rubbing their cocks all over her face (though one decided to pinch her nostrils shut for the last thirty seconds or so, leaving her gasping for air). Just as the buzzer went off the guy in Selena’s mouth withdrew and sprayed his load of cum all over her face and in her mouth before she was hoisted back into the ring.

And Sophie did not offer Selena the break that Taylor had done with Maisie, instead the English red head straddled her and slapped the hell out of her cum covered face, then pulled her to her feet by her hair and threw her across the ring. Selena groggily grabbed the ropes and Sophie charged over intent on landing a clothesline that would send the brunette good girl out to another set of perverts. At the very last second Selena ducked her head and managed to backdrop the actress up and over her head and into the three men on that side of the ring. The three men swarmed on Sophie pushing her to the floor and pulling her legs wide apart while the guy in a Jason mask got down in between her thighs and rammed his cock into her pussy. As Sophie was fucked roughly Selena wiped the cum from her face and crawled over to tag in Taylor. She took the tag and hopped over the rope but for the moment all she could do was gaze down at the fate of her ginger opponent. Freshly fucked Sophie was rolled back in and despite her trauma she blocked Taylor’s attack, reversed her and whipped her into the corner back first. Sophie stalked in afterward and kicked her hard between the legs then lifted her up so that Taylor sat on the turnbuckle and Sophie climbed up to slap her in the face. Taylor lurched to one side but caught herself. Seeing this Sophie launched a tirade of slaps that gradually moved Taylor further and further rover until she fell off her perch but amazingly she grabbed the ropes and prevented herself going over and pulled herself nimbly back into the ring. Staggered Sophie turned and went for a sunset flip from the middle rope. She hit it but Taylor steadied herself then sat down and folded Sophie’s legs over and held them for the one, two and three count!

Your winners after 10:05 of bizzare action are the team of Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez.

Maisie and Sophie are clearly livid that they lost and that Taylor had managed to avoid any degrading treatment from the men but neither make any more of it right then and just glare at the winners as the men are led away.


At SummerSlutSlam the tension between backstage interviewers Kim Kardashian and Kate Upton spilled over with Kim sneak attacking the blonde and leaving her laid out. As a result of this Kim has been relieved of her duties and a match has been signed between them for the next PPV. Handling backstage stuff are Kate, Carmen Electra and Lindsay Lohan. And it’s a slightly nervous, looking over her shoulder Kate Upton that takes the first interview of the night with new World tag Team Champions Rita Ora and Iggy Azalea.

“Rita, Iggy, last month you shocked the world and took those belts from Katy Perry and Rihanna, this month you get the chance to defend them and potentially split their team up because, as you know, the losers of this match have to fight each other at the War games PPV with the winners getting to pick the stipulations, tell us what you are thinking.”

“Our thoughts” began Rita, then she ducked and shouted “Look out!”

Kate ducked and cowered to the side as Rita and Iggy laughed.

“What’s the matter bimbo? Scared Kim’s gonna get you again? God what a loser! Anyway, Our thoughts are that we humiliated those overrated wimps last month, made little RiRi cry like a baby and quit. This month we’ll finish them off and move onto bigger and better things with OUR belts”.

“Yeah”, agreed Australina Iggy, “ and as for their match next month, I’m thinking it’ll involve barbed wire and the loser getting a haircut!”

At that prospect the two of them cackled like wicked witches and with Kate pouting behind them the screen faded to black.


Back to the ring and the second match of the night is also Halloween themed with a costumed triple threat bout with a special referee. Already in the ring are Cobie Smulders in full Agents of Shield cat suit, Scarlett Johannsson in Black Widow cat suit (with front zip nicely pulled down to reveal major cleavage) and coming down the ramp to a good reception is Gal Gadot in her Wonder Woman attire. As she makes her way down a short video plays detailing the various clashes and sneak attacks by Cobie on Scarlett, there is definitely no love lost between the two Marvel babes. But Gal’s presence complicates matters for them as she’s on the DC side of things and the special guest costumed referee will complicate things even further as a high pitched manic giggle plays over the PA system and Margot Robbie, in full Harley Quinn costume emerges swinging a baseball bat and blowing bubble gum. Margot seems to have taken on the persona of her character and skips to ringside looking mischievous and deadly all at once.

After making a great show of getting in the ring Margot continues the performance in checking out the three competitors, patting them down and in the case of Scarlett full on groping her boobs much to the redheads disgust.

When the bells rings, somewhat unbelievably, it’s the two Marvel girls who team up, at a nod ramming their fists into Gal’s gut then grabbing her by the hair, running across the ring and chucking the statuesque Israeli through the ropes and out to the floor. However, that’s where Scarlett and Cobie’s partnership ends as they immediately start slapping and chopping the hell out of each other. All the while the pigtailed Margot eggs them on. Scarlett gets the upper hand and lands three unanswered punches that backs Cobie into the corner, however brunette Cobie rakes her nails in her foes eyes to break that attack and follows up with kick that is clearly a low blow but Margot doesn’t seem to care about it. Which encourages Cobie to pull Scarlett upright then step in and hammer her knee up between her thighs. And again Margot seems fine with that.

With the referee taking this lenient view of things Cobie proceeds to drive five more hard, bony knees into her hated rival’s crotch until Scarlett is backed into the corner and in some discomfort. Cobie then drapes her arms over the top ropes and from her own cat suit produces two pairs of handcuffs and cuffs Scarletts arms to the ropes. Margot giggles that she’ll’’’ “let that go this time.”

Then a cruel Cobie slowly pulls down the zip of Scarlett’s catsuit, reaches inside, grabs Scarlett’s right nipple and pushes it into the teeth of the zip and with a slap to Scarlett’s face to get her attention she hauls the zip up, viciously trapping her nipple in the zip. Scarlett gives an ear piercing scream at the sudden burst of pain to her tit that only intensifies as Cobie calmly yanks the zip back down tearing at the sensitive nipple. Cobie takes the chance to lash in a few more knife edge chops then stands back to admire her handiwork as a thin dribble of blood descends Scarlett’s body from the wounded tit. And then Cobie smiles and make sure Scarlett can see as she traps her other nipple in the teeth of the zip.

Scarlett desperately begs and pleads for her not to do it but her words fall on deaf ears and Cobie jerks the zip up as hard as she can then does the same downwards again leaving Miss Johannsson howling at the intense pain. Then Cobie lifts Scarlett’s legs over the bottom ropes so she is exposed and spread wide open and steps back looking to deliver a huge punt to that injured cunt. But as she charges forward Gal Gadot springs up from the other side having rolled into the ring and nails Miss Smulders with a spine shaking spear that nearly halves her in two. From there the Amazon pulls Cobie up by her hair, stuffs her head between Gal’s thighs then hoists her up and drops her with a ring shaking powerbomb then falls on her to make the cover.

The only problem is that no count comes, Gal looks around for the referee only to be just in time to see Margot swinging her baseball bat up then down to smash off Gal’s skull! She’s knocked spark out, not moving at all and a big lump already developing at the side of her skull. Margot giggles then reaches down to Gal and pulls off the lasso from her custume before sauntering over to the pained Scarlett, mocking her then swinging that bat again for a home run right between Scarlett’s wide open pussy! The redhead screams and starts crying so much pain is she in.

Meantime Cobie has come round somewhat and is crawling over to Gal to make the cover. This time Margot drops and does count.


But then stops, grins at Cobie and pokes her eyes. Then Margot jumps on Cobie’s back, straddles her and wraps the golden lasso around her throat and chokes her out with undisguised glee. She cackles as she holds it on until Cobie’s head slumps forward obviously unconscious. Then Margot gets up and counts to ten with all three combatants unmoving. Then she slides out of the ring and skips to the ring announcer, threatens him and grabs the microphone.

“You’re winner is Me!” before skipping away from the carnage she’s caused.

Officially however, the match is declared a no contest after 6:56 of action, but it’s certainly Margot Robbie that’s made the big impression in this match.


Backstage Lindsay Lohan is interviewing Ariana Grande on her upcoming title defence against Emma Watson.

“Ariana, how do you feel going into this match, knowing it’s a Ladder match and the success your opponent has had in that type of match previously?”

“Yeah it is a ladder match and that may suit that English bitch but remember my stip too, if I can beat her she never gets another shot at this (pointing to the Junior Heavyweight belt) and that has to be worth fighting for to get rid of that stain on this division for ever!”

At that Emma Watson busrts in on the interview and goes nose to nose with Ariana shouting.

“Who are you calling a bitch you bimbo!”

With Liz Hurley and Keira Knightley backing Emma up it looks like if things turn physical then it could be one sided but just as Emma shoves Ariana, Sarah Hyland and Ariel Winter show up behind Ariana backing her up and there is a tense face off as the screen fades.


Next up is a singles match with all sorts of factors leading in and out of it. Jennifer Lopez and Nicki Minaj have been conducting a heated feud for months now and it will end this night. The winner will automatically be granted a shot at the World Heavyweight Title at the next PPV as well as having all the kudos of winning a feud over a hated rival. Not only that but the match can only end by way of ass smother and the loser will no doubt be left unconscious and humiliated on the canvas. After the match the winner gets a spray can and can write whatever they want on the body of the loser. As previous encounters between the two have been marred by outside interference all other parties are banned from ringside to the point of being suspended if they interfere. This really only affects J-Lo as her two protégé’s Iggy Azalea and Rita Ora have aided her in the past but with them being champions themselves and having a huge championship defence later tonight they were never likely to get involved.

Nicki is first to the ring, to her song ‘Anaconda’, she’s wearing a hot pink, string bikini that struggles to cover her assets. She has a hell of a mean, intense look on her face and looks absolutely determined she won’t lose this match. But then so does Jennifer Lopez when she emerges to her song “Booty”, though she looks more calmly sure of herself and her slinky body seems to be poured into an expensive looking snake skin two piece as she struts towards the ring, her eyes never leaving Nicki for one second (and neither do Nicki’s). She entered the ring and marched right up to Nicki and the two stared hard at each other whilst the referee stood between them and went over the stipulations and rules. Both women are staring daggers at the other and the atmosphere is incredibly intense as the ref pushes them apart and signals for the bell.

Neither makes much of a move to begin, instead they continue glaring at each other uttering a string of racial insults at the other. These two women clearly absolutely hate the other. Defeat in this match is completely unacceptable to them. Finally, Jennifer shoots in to go for the black woman’s legs but Nicki has such a low centre of gravity that he doesn’t go down and instead hammers a fist down into the top of J’Lo’s skull. Dazed she scoots back as Nicki rains down further blows to her head and back until Jennifer slides out under the bottom rope and rubs her head as she glares back into the ring where Nicki mocks her and dares her to get back in. J-Lo flips her the bird and walks away but Nicki responds by coming up to the ropes, clearing her throat and spitting a huge glob of saliva right into the side of her head, landing mostly in her ear. Disgusted Jennifer storms back into the ring but is met with a flurry of stamps before she can get up, then Nicki drags her up by her long hair and tosses her into the corner and follows up with a big splash that crushes J’Lo between the turnbuckle and Nicki Minaj’s folds of skin. Nicki talks some more trash at close range then leans back and thumps a head-butt into her enemies face. Jenny slumped down in the corner onto her butt when Nicki moved back and that proved too tempting a target for the black rapper. She turned around and backed her fat ass right up into Jennifer’s dazed face and before she knew it she was getting a forceful “stinkface” in the corner.

The crowd roared their approval as the popular Miss MInaj rubbed her big, black ass right into the stuck up Miss Lopez’s face, really grinding it in there. Eventually J’Lo managed to slide forward and out of that situation but that left her on her back in the middle of the ring and seeing an opportunity Nicki walked forward and dropped her ass down hard. At the last minute Jenniifer managed to move and Nicki’s ass hit hard on the canvas. As she rubbed at it J-Lo spun around while still lying on the canvas and kicked her hard in the side of the head. Then she nipped up to her feet whilst her opponent reeled and delivered another, even more powerful kick to the side of Nicki’s head that sent her sprawling on her front on the canvas.

An enraged Jennifer jumped on Nicki’s back, straddling it, and began to use her hair to bounce her forehead repeatedly on the canvas and then, keeping the same hold, she changed to rubbing Nicki’s face hard back and forth on the canvas and when she tired of that she undid the pink bikini top and slipped it around Nicki’s throat and garrotted her with it all the way up to a four count before the referee grabbed it and pocketed it. Nicki was in some distress and on instinct rolled onto her back to try and prevent more choking and her gasping face proved too tempting a target of Jennifer, who took the time to pull her bikini bottoms right into her ass crack before squatting over Nicki and lowering her derriere over her face.

Nicki came to her senses just as her face was being engulfed by the tanned backside and, horrified, began thrashing her limbs wildly and quite quickly managed to buck Jennifer off her and scramble away. She got up slowly and both faced each other, both having tasted the closeness of defeat, both desperate not to taste it again.

J-Lo sought to maintain her advantage and charged at Nicki as she rose but Nicki kicked her in the gut then hoisted her up as if for a suplex but instead dropped her down crotch first atop the top rope. Then she bounced the rope up and down for all she was worth until J-Lo fell off, toppling hard to the apron then the floor. The crowd laughed at that and encouraged Nicki as she stepped out of the ring tp the floor and laid in some kicks to Jenny then pulled her up by the hair, then climbed up the corner steps and pulled J-lo up by the hair until she was standing on the apron next to Nicki. That pull cost Jennifer some clumps of hair and a bit of screaming! More was to follow though as Nicki took a firm hold of either side of J-Lo’s bikini bottoms and then held her out over the side of the ring. The bottoms rode up even higher and stretched into a painful looking wedgie from hell until finally the material snapped in Nicki’s hands and Jennifer plummeted to the ground with no bottoms on and holding her injured crotch.

Once again Nicki dropped down beside her and this time tore off Jenny’s top to leave her completely nude and again she pulled her up to the apron the hard way, jerking her up by a tight hold on her increasingly damaged hair. And once there Nicki had great fun shoving Jennifer’s face between those big, black boobs and humiliatingly bouncing them off her face before pushing it in and going for a face smother (which under the rules she could not win the match with but still if J-Lo was out of it how easy would it be to squat on her face?). In desperation Jenny held onto the ropes and used them to push into them propel off and shove / throw Nicki from the apron. The black fan favourite flew through the air and crashed side first into the announcers table which collapsed under her with Nicki crying and holding at her ribs – it had been a hell of a bump.

After taking a moment to steady herself Jennifer dropped to the floor, limped over to the carnage of the destroyed desk and pulled her foe up by her hair then whipped her with an extreme ferocity into the adjacent steel crowd barrier. On impact Nicki was literally bent around the steel and virtually in tears of pain. Jenny just smirked and punched her in the injured ribs then rolled her back into the ring. She followed her in and took great pleasure in peeling Nicki’s bikini bottoms to leave the black woman as naked as herself. Then Jennifer pulled NIcki up so she was sitting, slid in behind her and wrapped her long, powerful legs around Nicki’s waist in a fearsome looking leg scissors. And to add to the situation Jenny took Nicki’s panties and reached around her head to hold them over Nicki’s nose and mouth while positioning her forearm under Nicki’s chin to choke her out.

As would be revealed after the event Nicki’s collision with the table had broken two of her ribs so no wonders she was really struggling to breath properly and with Jennifer’s vice like leg grip tightening on them and her air being stolen from her lungs at the other end she was able to offer next to no resistance as Jennifer poured on the pressure like that for over a minute until Jennifer could feel and everyone else could see Nicki’s body go limp and her eyes flutter then shut.

But that wasn’t an end of things. As per the rules the bout could only end with one combatant unconscious under the ass of the other.

Once she was sure her opponent was totally out of it Jennifer finally released her grip with both legs and hands, Nicki slumped lifeless to the canvas. With a smug, self satisfied grin on her face J-Lo folded Nicki’s arms under her body then positioned her arse over the black woman’s face and lowered herself right onto it. Nicki never made a move. With no easy way of checking on Nicki the referee had a harder time than normal to determine she was unable to continue and as a result Jennifer Lopez sat on her face for over a minute before the bell was called for.

Your winner in 10:08 is JENNIFER LOPEZ. That complete and total humiliation was only added to as once she had arisen she took the white aerosol from the referee and as per match stipulations could write what she wanted on the loser.

LOSER was written (with a big L) on Nicki’s forehead and face.

FAKE was sprayed on Nicki’s boobs.

FAT SLUT was sprayed across her belly.

Then having kicked her over onto her front the words “NIGGER WHORE” were sprayed along the length of Nicki Minaj’s back.

Afterwards Lindsay Lohan comes out and interviews Jennifer Lopez in the ring while Nicki is rolled out of the ring and slowly helped to the back.

LINDSAY: “What a huge victory for you Jennifer, not only have you comprehensively defeated your hated rival but you have earned a World Title shot, can you tell us what you are thinking right now?”

J-LO:”Wooo! I tell you I am fucking delighted to be done with that fat, fake ass bitch! And I tell you, you all saw it I owned her in this ring, my ring. No question now who has the best ass smother, is there? No there is not. So I am done with that loser and moving on up to bigger and better things like the World Heavyweight Championship and whether it’s that bitch Aniston or that slut Beyoncé I promise you that they will not be able to cope with me.

At this point there is a jump cut in the camera to the back where Nicki Minaj was being helped through the backstage area when she passed Miley Cyrus who was drinking a bottle of beer and as Nicki passed Miley clearly made some comment as Nicki reared up and lunged at her, got both hands on Miley’s throat and began throttling her. The medical staff prized Nicki off but that allowed Miley to lift he bottle and smash it down hard on her skull, smashing it and dropping Nicki again, like a stone. It’s just not been Nicki Minaj’s night has it?


Next up is the World Tag Team Championship match, pitting former champs Rihanna and Katy Perry versus the team that defeated them soundly in a double dog collar match last month, Iggy Azalea and Rita Ora. Katy and Rihanna emerge wearing bright pink string bikinis but neither seems as bouncy and confident as they had done until their title loss, not only had their rivals handily destroyed them and humiliated them afterward but this time the stakes for the losers are arguably higher. Because, each team, before the match has entered an envelope with the ring announcer with a match type and stipulation and the losing team will have to fight each other at the next PPV under those set conditions. We’ll find out those conditions upon the finish of this match.

Rita and Iggy look much happier coming out with the large Tag Team belts wrapped around their waists. They are wearing black PVC tight shorts and bra tops and seem pretty confident getting into the ring and facing up to the waiting challengers as the referee shows the belts and reads the rules to them.

Iggy and Katy start things off in what is a conventional tag match and after some trash talk from the blonde Aussie they lock fingers and test each other’s strength. It’s Katy that has the advantage though and after a titanic, chest-to-chest struggle, she starts to force Iggy down. Not that Iggy will accept that, she breaks her grip and fires a foot into the brunette’s gut then follows up with a series of uppercuts that backs Katy to a corner where Iggy drives her knee repeatedly to her gut. Then with her foe reeling Iggy rips off Katy’s bra top, fastens her fingers onto her nipples then uses them to pull Katy out of the corner by them and fling her across the ring by them. Katy landed on her back and was both winded and shocked at that attack but got no respite as Iggy was on her again and again gripped her nipples and dragged her around the ring by them whilst Katy screamed and then finished by standing on Katy’s hair and pulling up as hard as she could on Katy’s nipples. Katy’s back bent as she was lifted off the mat and her teats were stretched to an unnatural length. It made for quite the visual and the audio of Katy’s pained screams were striking too. But she didn’t quit and eventually Iggy’s grip loosened and she dropped Katy down, whereupon the desperate brunette kicked out with bicycle kick that landed square in Iggy’s face and stunned her and made her stagger back.

Katy, cupping her injured tits scrambled over to her corner and tagged in Rihanna who, feeling bad as it was her submission in the previous match that cost her team the belts, flew at Iggy and nailed her right away with a high drop kick to her face that knocked her down. Rihanna was right on her though pounding punch after punch to the blonde’s head, getting rid of a months’ worth of pent up frustration.

Rihanna was especially motivated that night as it had been her submission that had cost her and Katy their hard earned belts, her back proving to be her downfall, though she claimed she was at 100% for this rematch. Having bounced Iggy’s skull against the mat a few times she sought to prove her back was fine by dragging the blonde up, whipping her into the roes then stooping to backdrop her up and over to slam hard on the mat. Then she lifted Iggy again and slammed her hard on her back. She picked her up again and hooked her arm over her to go for a suplex but Iggy managed to block it and as they tussled over who was going over Rita Ora reached in and slapped Iggy’s arm, effectively making a blind tag.

So Iggy just held on and seconds later Rita was smashing a double axe handle right into Rihanna’s lower back. This released Iggy who dropped to her knees and drove her forearm upwards right between Rihanna’s thighs for a vicious crotch shot before being ushered out of the ring by the ref. The damage was done though. Rita got right in behind Rihanna, hooked her arms around her then jerked her back and nailed her with a perfect looking German suplex .that slammed the black girl into the canvas. But she wasn’t finished and hauled Rihanna up again and hit a second one and this time rolled on top for a cover that got a two count.

Rita was looking dominant now and this time when she scooped Rihanna up she dropped her down, back first, right onto her outstretched knee in a nasty looking backbreaker. Then she held her there, pushing backwards on Rihanna’ chin and thighs to bend her even harder and blew a mock kiss at Katy Perry as the referee asked Rihanna if she wanted to quit. She didn’t but she was clearly in some pain when Rita finally allowed her to slide off her knee.

The next few minutes were brutal for Rihanna as Rita and Iggy tagged in and out at will hitting impact move after impact move to Rihanna’s spine: another backbreaker, a ring shaking spinebuster, a camel clutch and finally a powerbomb that looked certain to be the finish until Rihanna kicked out at thevery last moment. Iggy hauled her up again, getting frustrated now, slapped her about and hoisted her up for another powerbomb, but she was careless and did it too near the opponents corner and Katy managed to tag Rihanna as she went up,. So even though Iggy continued the move to slammed Rihanna back first on the canvas, the ref never counted and as she demanded her did count Katy jumped on her back and hooked on a sleeper hold out of nowhere!

That woke the crowd who had been ground down by the heel teams dominance and the only got louder as Iggy tried to get rid of Katy but the US singer held on for dear life and slowly Iggy’s legs went from her and it looked like we might have a title change. Seeing that Rita jumped into the ring and charged at the two and went to kick Katy’s face but at the last second Katy lifted up and the kick landed squarely in Iggy’s and sent them both sprawling to the floor. At least that did manage to break the sleeper hold though.

However, as the referee shoved Rita out Katy crawled on top of Iggy and by the time he returned she only just managed to kick out at two. Following that the two of them traded a series of punishing chops, Iggy’s probably more effective because Katy was topless and by the end of the exchange it was Iggy’s which were unanswered. She snarled at the partner to get her foot up in the corner and went to whip Katy into it but at the very last second Katy reversed it and for the second time Iggy Azalea’s face smacked into Rita Ora’s sole. As Iggy rebounded backwards Katy caught her, wrapped her arm over her face and dropped her in a scorpion death drop then hooked her leg and got the ONE, TWO and THREE!

The winners and World Tag Team Champions for the second time are KATY PERRY & RIHANNA in 9:16. As they grab the belts and celebrate the envelopes at ringside are opened. First up it’s confirmed that Rita and Iggy stuck by their word and if they had won then Katy would have faced Rihanna in a barbed wire, loser shaved bald match. However they won so it’s Iggy Azalea that must face Rita Ora next month and it’s revealed to be the opening match, and that the loser will spend the remainder of the card being treated to a bukkake from the entire crowd! Both Iggy and Rita look absolutely furious about that stipulation and leave the ringside area arguing over what just happened.


Next up is and interview with Megan Fox with Carmen Electra is conducting backstage.

“Megan after all the history you and Angelina have tonight surely represents the end of the line for one of you? Locked in a steel cage, each of you armed with a steel chair and with a straightjacket hanging from the roof of the cage. The match can only end once the straight jacket is placed on one of you. I think I speak for everyone when I say I sense bad things with this match.”

Megan’s lips curl into a cruel smile.

“Not at all Carmen, tonight will be a great night, a night the world remembers for a very long time. The night I finish that old has-been off forever. I promise you all tonight that cunt will not only leave this arena in an ambulance but that she will never return. I will retire her tonight, I will cripple her tonight and I will end her tonight!”

She’s scarily intense as she vows this and the camera zooms in on her face.


The next bout of the evening sees the Junior Heavyweight Championship at stake, as champion Ariana Grande defends against Emma Watson and we begin with a video package highlighting their feud up until now. As part of the overarching feud between the Duchess of Cambridge and her Royal Court and the young American’s there has been plenty of twists and turns that have led to this match, where Emma Watson has chosen a Ladder Match (a stipulation she has had great success with in the past) and Ariana has countered by adding that should Emma fail to win she will not get to challenge for this belt again. Various ladders are laid out at ringside and the championship belt hangs from a hook high above the ring.

Ariana is first out to a catchy pop tune and she’s all smiles and cute waves to the crowd as she skips down the ramp. But that comes to a crashing halt as Emma runs out behind her and Pearl Harbour’s her with a lariat from behind that sends the good girl onto her front and skidding down the rampway. Emma’s in a purple two piece bikini and Ariana’s in, well that doesn’t really matter as Emma tears off her silver bikini top and chokes the hell out of her with it, then grabs her by the shorts and literally tosses her off the side of the ram to crash unceremoniously into the metal crowd barrier.

In the ring, realising that there was little chance for a normal start to the match and given that a ladder match is pretty much a free-for-all anyway the referee calls for the bell and we’re officially under way.

In the meantime Emma had hopped off the ramp and made her way round to her stunned opponent and laid in with some kicks, stomps and punches then just for the humiliation of it hauled off Ariana’s bikini bottoms to leave her completely naked just seconds into the match. Then Emma lifted her up for a suplex but instead of dropping backwards she dropped her forwards, crotching Ariana on the metal barrier, her legs splayed either side when she dropped on it heavily. As the elfin brunette perched there Emma gave her a hard slap to the face then grabbed a ladder from the floor and marched towards the ring, determined to get this over and done with as quickly as she could.

Ariana watched in agony as Emma hauled the ladder towards the ring and managed to slide it under the bottom rope and began to set it up. Despite her aches and pains the singer forced herself off the barrier and limped to the ring just as Emma started to climb up the rungs. With a desperate lunge Ariana made it into the ring and hurried to grab her opponents ankle and drag it back, preventing her from reaching up for the belt. Emma lashed back with her heel a couple of times but Ariana held on and finally managed to pull the English girl from the ladder and down to the mat. The ladder toppling over after her.

It was a brief respite though as Emma was quickly to her feet and kicked Ariana a few times before lifting her up then body slamming her on the closed ladder. Ariana screamed and arched her back on contact but Emma soon shut her up with a vicious kick right to her jaw. Emma then picked Ariana up by her long hair then hoisted her up before dropping heron the top turnbuckle, again her crotch taking the blow. Then Emma set about balancing the ladder in the ring over that corner from one set of the ropes diagonally across the corner. Emma then climbed up between the ladder and the turnbuckle and pulled Ariana up to her feet and they stood their precariously. Emma was trying to lift Ariana and then drop her crotch first on the ladder rungs but at the last minute the American blocked it and pushed Emma back, she tripped on the ladder and took a high, dangerous bump to the mat landing hard on her back.

Emma was flat out in centre ring and not moving, Ariana slowly manoeuvred off the turnbuckle and lifted the ladder so it was vertical in the corner and she was standing behind it. She lined it up then pushed herself off the ropes and the ladder with Ariana on the back of it fell forwards and landed square across Emma’s chest!

The crowd roared at that move and Ariana shoved her forearm into Emma’s face and ground it in before pushing herself up, and lifting the ladder with her. She then planted the ladder over Emma, steadied it and began to slowly climb it. She was nearly at the belt, so close when Emma came to and realised the situation, desperately she tried to get up and as she did she tipped the ladder sideways with Ariana at the top and stretching up with both hands as the ladder shifted. As the ladder toppled to the side Ariana put her foot out in a desperate attempt to avoid the bump that would await from crashing straight to the floor. She succeeded to an extent, her foot snagging the top rope but it also saw her horribly crotched on the top rope from that height that rendered her silent as she perched on the top rope.

Emma took a moment to get up, then she grabbed the ladder, sized her opponent up and literally charged at Ariana with the ladder on her shoulder like a battering ram. There was as sickening thud as the top of the ladder smashed into Ariana’s face and both she and the ladder flew over the rope and crashed loudly to the floor. There was silence now in the arena, the crowd hated Emma and her posh English cohorts, things got even worse when the camera caught up with Ariana as she lifted her face from the concrete floor, the pretty young singer was busted wide open, a big cut across her forehead from the ladder that was dripping blood all over her features.

Emma laughed when she saw the damage and stepped through the ropes and laid in some hard kicks to Ariana’ upturned bloody face to knock her down then set about positioning the ladder as a bridge between the announcers desk and the ring apron. Then she picked Ariana up by her blood streaked hair, stuck her head between her thighs and hoisted her up for a powerbomb that she dropped Ariana back first right across that bridging ladder. Ariana shrieked upon impact, her spine bent horribly over the metal ladder and Emma left her dangling there as she moved around the ring to retrieve another ladder.

Instead of sliding the second ladder into the ring Emma brought it round to where Ariana lay and then slammed it down across her chest, leaving her in between like a sandwich filling (specifically strawberry jam given all the red around and over her face!). Emma steadied the top ladder then slid into the ring and climbed to the top turnbuckle. She stood there posing for a moment and staring out and down at her target then leapt off aiming to splash the top ladder and squash Ariana Grande in between. However, more by luck than anything else as Emma moved Ariana slipped down and through the ladders to collapse on the floor just as Emma Watson splashed hard onto both ladders only. They buckled and crumpled to the floor as did the English actress leaving both competitors in bad ways at ringside.

They were both down for quite some time until both started moving jerkily almost simultaneously. They made it to their knees and pulled themselves up and finally faced each other and traded punches. Ariana’s face being coated in blood didn’t help her cause though and she swung and missed and Emma grabbed her on the way passed and powered her forward so her face smacked hard into the ring post. Then did it a further three times until Ariana slid down the post leaving a bloody smear in her head’s wake. Emma left her and staggered around her to get a third ladder from the other side and laboriously lift it and heave it into the ring. Her movements were slow now as she ached all over but determinedly she set the ladder up in centre ring and began to ascend just as somehow Ariana forced herself up and rolled into the ring. Wiping the blood from her eyes she saw Emma’s feet going up and staggered over to the ladder and climbed up behind her. Emma only realised when Ariana head appeared between her thighs and then suddenly she was lifted up on her shoulders as she neared the top of the ladder. Her arms stretched desperately towards the hanging belt and then suddenly Ariana fell backwards both girls, but especially Emma Watson taking a really hard backwards bump to the canvas where again they both lay in a crumpled heap.

This time it was Ariana that slowly pushed herself up off the mat and that got a great cheer from the crowd that urged her on as she literally pulled herself to her feet via the ladder and painfully pulled herself up it rung by rung. She had nearly made it and was reaching up for the belts by the time Emma was up and again her method of stopping her opponent was to shake the ladder and push it over, again sending Ariana on a potentially huge fall over the ropes and to the floor. As had happened earlier when she had crotched herself Ariana’s only option was to try and get her foot up and balance it on the top rope. This time she managed it and in an incredible bit of skill, in the same fluid motion pushed herself back on the ladder and using her balance not to tip it the other way. With Emma bent over catching her breath she didn’t even realise what had happened and didn’t see Ariana scamper up another rung, snag the belt and tear it from the hook. When the bell rang Emma looked round in shock just as Ariana leapt off the second top rung with the belt and brought it smashing down right into the snobby English bitch’s face!

The winner in 14:01 and still Junior Heavyweight Champion is ARIANA GRANDE, and as a result Emma Watson will not be allowed to challenge for the belt again. At that point Emma had other worries though as that belt shot had busted her head up too and she was bleeding copiously from the forehead, meaning both girls left the ring wearing crimson masks of their own plasma, a timely reminder of the bloody carnage that awaits the warring factions in the War Games double cage at the next PPV, for which we’ll be seeing the coin toss for later on this evening.


Next, as a roofed cage decends from the arena’s rafters and is fixed in place around the ring a long video package airs detailing the history between Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox. We see them winning the tag team belts at the very first PPV Bitchmania, we see their incredibly sexy, lesbian entrances as champions before their acrimonious split while still champs when Megan turned viciously on Angelina, we see highlights of their unsanctioned match at this years Bitchmania where Angelina was in no condition to fight and left on a stretcher after losing only to be turfed off it and raped by Megan wearing a brutal looking strap on. Then we see highlights of the bloody barbed wire rope match where Angelina overcame Megan and finally a recap of last month’s PPV main event where Angelina came up short in her challenge to World Champion Jennifer Aniston who was assisted by Megan Fox and Angelina ended that PPV trapped in a straightjacket and being ass raped by her former partner yet again.

From the footage we zoom in on an intense looking Angelina Jolie. Carmen Electra is conducting the interview.

“Angelina, tonight you enter a locked steel cage with you most hated rival, each of you are taking a folding steel chair into the cage and hanging from the roof is a straight-jacket, in fact the very straight jacket you were trapped in last month. To win this match you have to pin your opponent whilst they are in the straightjacket. The chair will be needed to reach up to get the jacket but they are also legal as this is a no DQ match. We understand that this is the last time that you and Megan will face off in the ring. Before this extreme encounter what are your thoughts on the match?”

Angelina has a fixed, steely gaze and takes her time before answering.

“You are right, this will be the last time we face off, not because the Federation will keep us apart but because after tonight one of us, or perhaps both of us, will no longer be in a physical condition to compete here. I promise you it will not be me trapped in that straight jacket tonight, I’ve felt that helplessness before well tonight Megan you can feel it, and once you are you stupid little girl you will learn what real fear is before I finish you off permanently!”

First to enter the cage is the younger actress, Megan Fox, she’s wearing a black one piece swimsuit that displays ample amounts of cleavage and she carries her steel chair like she means to wield it in this bout. As she enters the cage Angelina’s music hits and she appears on stage in a silver one piece but as she starts down the ramp Megan tries to position her chair and get the hanging straightjacket, the referee sees this and pushes Megan off much to her chagrin. Seeing this though Angelina runs the rest of the way down the ramp and into the cage and the outside referee locks the cage whilst signalling for the bell and we are under way.

Angelina runs over to where Megan lies and swings her chair hard aiming at Megan’s head. Megan rolls sharply out of the way and just misses what would have been a brutal shot. Angie swings again and misses then a third time and Megan’s running out of room to roll in but manages to grab her own chair and get it up to block the next attempt for a loud, metallic clang to echo through the arena. That collision managed to knock both chairs from their hands but Angelina still took the advantage dropping her knee right onto Megan’s chest and firing down a few short, hard punches to her face. Then she picked her up by the hair and ran across the cage to propel the younger woman through the ropes head first to smash into the cage wall!

Jolie held her there and began to push and grind Megan’s face into the lattice like cage, then pulling her head back only to slam it into the wall again. Megan dangled there as Angelina retrieved one of the chairs and came up and smacked it hard into Megan’s back from behind, then again, then a third time leaving her enemy arching her spine in pain. She then pulled Megan back so that she flopped on her back in the ring but with her legs still over the middle ropes and Angelina jumped up, tucked the chair under her knees and dropped down with a chair led legdrop right on Megan’s face!

This has been a one way destruction so far and it just continues as Angelina takes the chance to literally rip Megan’s swimsuit off her and leave her completely naked before using the torn garment to choke her with from behind. But that is not enough for the vengeful Angelina and she drops the choke soon enough to pick up Megan, drape her arms over the top rope then lifts the chair, waits until Megan is looking at her then smashes a chair shot off her unprotected skull!

Wow, what a blow! And Angelina then lets out a guttural cry that is part anger and part joy. Especially when she sees that her former partner is busted open and bleeding from the forehead. Then Angie grabs the other chair and sets it up directly under the hanging garment and steps on it then reaches up to detach the straightjacket from the hook it’s hanging from. She doesn’t quite figure out how to take it off immediately and to aid her puts one foot up on the back of the chair to get a little more purchase, that proves a problem as Megan, despite her dazed, bloody state sees what her opponent is doing and summons up the will to push herself off the ropes and stagger over and just as Angelina releases the straightjacket. Megan clumsily shoves her foe and Angelina overbalances, topples forward and ends up falling neck first across the top rope, whiplashing horribly as she plummets to the canvas.

Megan staggers over and collapses against the opposite ropes whilst Angelina lies twitching across from her and both women barely move for the next minute or so as the crowd marvel at the ultraviolence on show. And it’s about to get even more extreme. Megan moves over, pulls Angelina up by her hair then nails her with a DDT right into the canvas. Then she lifts her again turns her around, reaches backwards to grab her neck the drops her with a neckbreaker that clearly caused Angelina some pain as she cries out audibly. That brings a savage grin to Megan Fox’s lips and she rips of Angelina’s swimsuit to leave them both as naked as the other.

Then Megan gets the straightjacket and tries to fit Angie’s arms into it. Miss Jolie realises what’s happening and struggles hard to prevent it and succeeds by thrashing her arms about to stop them going in the sleeves. Undeterred Megan forgets about the garment, picks up a chair and slams it into the back of her opponent and when Angelina drops to her knees she repeats the chair shot this time across the back of her neck. That vicious blow sees Angie fall flat on her face on the mat and Megan casually takes the second chair and slides it under Angelina’s head then raises her own chair and smashes it down on the back of Jolie’s head. Not once. Not twice. But three times, each time louder and harder than the time before.

This time when Megan lifts the straightjacket and drapes it over her foe and begins to slide her arms into it there is zero resistance and a bare minute later and she has tightened the straps to Angelina’s arms behind her back and done up the series of buckles that mean her arms are now rendered helpless in this bout. Not that there is a bout now, Angelina looks out of it as Megan jerks her up by the hair to have her kneeling in centre ring than drills her with yet another hard chair shot to the skull. Then Megan lays the chair out on the mat, picks up Angelina, moves her around so she’s upside down then drops down with Tombstone piledriver right onto the chair.

The crowd goes silent, Angelina is clearly done but it doesn’t seem that Megan is. Instead she drags Angelina to a corner, positions her for another Tombstone then, while holding her foe, backs herself up the corner turnbuckle to the middle one. Once there she pauses then steps and drops down, giving Angelina no protection and the fact she’s trapped in the straightjacket and barely conscious means she couldn’t herself, with a Tombstone Piledriver from the second turnbuckle!

Angelina’s head twitches a few times then she’s deathly still as Megan gets up, places her foot on Angelina Jolie’s chest and the referee counts the easiest three count he’ll ever make.

Your winner in 10:01 is MEGAN FOX and she drags Angelina by the hair out of the cage and dumps her at ringside where and EMT team rush down to see to the clearly badly hurt actress. They work on her for a while to little response, before fixing neck supports and putting her on a stretcher and leading her out of the arena before a hushed crowd. Megan stands over her on the stretcher and blows her a mocking kiss as she passes.


The crowd’s mood doesn’t improve when the next people out from the back and down the ramp are owner and lead heel of the Federation, Kate Middleton and her sister Pippa. Waiting to speak to them outside the still in place cage is Kate Upton.

However, as the Middleton sisters descend a figure jumps the rail and nails Kate Upton with a clothesline from behind. The camera catches up with that attack and reveals it as being Kim Kardashian and she quickly lifts Kate and smashes her face repeatedly into the outside of the cage before security come down and chase her, Kim jumps the rail to escape trailed by several security guards.

Kate and Pippa reach the downed Miss Upton just as she’s trying to push herself up and Pippa casually punts her in the face to knock her out and lifts the microphone from beside the model’s prone body and hands it to her sister.

“I guess we’ll just do our own interview then?

“Sorry about that bimbo, anyway you’ll be glad to know that you two fat titted losers can take your stupid little feud into the ring next month. But enough of such trivial matters, onto the big news because next month my Royal Team will enter the War Games cage against a scrag tag bunch of Yanks led by Jennifer Lawrence. But before then, in fact this very night, we will have coin toss to decide who gets the advantage in the match and who gets to pick the stipulation for the losing team. So Jennifer Lawrence I want you to come on out here. Come on there’s just Pippa and me, no one else.”

It’s difficult for anyone to believe Kate Middleton because she been such a lying, vindictive, manipulative cunt so far since she entered the Federation but even so Jennifer appears on the ramp and walks towards her with the crowd cheering her on.

“That’s good Jennifer, you see all fair. Now Pippa you will toss the coin, Jennifer you can call heads or tails. If you are right then you can chose for your team to have the person advantage throughout the match or chose a stipulation for the match, whichever you pick I would then get to pick the other. Understand?”

Kate’s voice was incredibly condescending but Jennifer ignored it and nodded briskly.

Pippa tossed the coin and Jen called Heads and she was right. Kate visibly fumed but bit her lip as Miss Lawrence took the microphone.

“Just like next month I win! And I say that I want to pick the stipulation, and the stip I want is that when we win the match I get five minutes alone in the War Games cage with you!”

And with that Jennifer pointed right in Kate’s chest and the crowd erupted in cheers. Kate recoiled for a moment and looked horrified but swiftly recovered to respond.

“Ok, but if you are picking that then that means my team gets to be the 3rd, 5th, 7th and 9th woman into the match, giving us a person advantage at each stage, so fine! And I’ll tell you what bitch, you wasted your stipulation because if you want to fight me so badly in a cage then why don’t we do it right now, in this very cage!”

The crowd go crazy at that and Jennifer nods enthusiastically as Kate MIddleton backs up the steps and enters the cage, Jennifer goes to follow her when Pippa attacks from behind. Bur Jen saw that coming, blocks the attack and sends the sister sprawling. However, that was just a distraction and from the crowd and hopping the rail are Eva Green, Liz Hurley, Natalie Dormer and Daisy Ridley and they swiftly overpower Jennifer and drag her into the cage and follow her in whilst Kelly Brook emerges and locks the cage door with a chain, whose key she secretes down her immense cleavage! She is then flanked by Sophie Turner, Maisie Williams and Victoria Beckham who form around Kelly to prevent anyone getting to her.

In the cage Kate and Pippa stand back a the others beat Jennifer down some more, Daisy hitting a superkick, Natalie a jumping DDT, Liz hoists her up for a high powerbomb before Eva rips Jen’s top and bra off then easily lifts her into a military press then throws her face first into the cage wall. As Jennifer slumps down the cage Liz and Natalie produce handcuffs and cuff her wrists to the cage, spread as far apart as possible and high enough to just keep her feet from the canvas. And then Kate Middleton takes the heavy, studded leather belt from her waist off and proceeds to sadistically and viciously whip Jennifer Lawrence on her bare back.

By then Jennifer’s team mates are rushing down to the cage to try and mount a rescue. Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift, Sarah Hyland and Ariel Winter charge down and do battle with the women outside the cage and eventually overcome them, leaving Selena the task of reaching into Kelly’s cleavage to try and retrieve the key. All the while in the cage Kate is utterly ripping Jennifer Lawrence’s back up into bloody welts and strips with her belt. Jennifer is clearly in lots of pain but there is no sign of the Duchess stopping anytime soon and when she sees that the others have the key she orders the others in the cage over to block them getting in.

Then suddenly the cage begins lifting up and Jennifer rises with it, cuffed as she is to it. The camera zooms into a skybox and we see Ariana Grande has taken over the controls that lifts the cage into position and is lifting it up out of Kate’s reach. Still that’s going to be hard on Jennifer’s arms unless she can grip onto the cage which she just about manages to do and rises up with it.

After that a score of security appear and step between the warring factions and a very smug and cocky looking Duchess leads her team away while Jennifer’s team mates wait for them to go before the cage is lowered and they release her and tend to her badly wounded and no doubt scarred back.


So after all that chaos, violence and extreme action we are left with just one more match for the evening, your main event, for the World Heavyweight Championship, Jennifer Aniston defending against Beyoncé. Two of the biggest stars in the Federation, actress versus singer, black versus white, good versus evil, they have never met in single competition before and Jennifer Lopez awaits the winner.

And it’s Miss Lopez who makes her presence felt first as after showering and changing after her war with Nicki Minaj she comes down to ringside to offer commentary on this match that will determine her next challenge.

Next down to the ring is Beyoncé, wearing a camouflage bikini and headband and sporting black warpaint under her eyes and looking as serious as we’ve seen her in the Federation, she knows this is her big opportunity. But what a challenge awaits the black good girl as Jennifer Anniston emerges in her trademark white vest and denim shorts and wearing the huge World Title belt around her waist and trailed by Jennifer Love Hewitt in her usual garb of a fetish French Maid, her tits pretty much spilling out of the far too small sized costume.

The referee brings them together in centre ring and runs down the rules, this is a straight wrestling match, no stipulations, no forfeit just a war to decide the most important title in the Federation. Both superstars glare at each other over the instructions and clearly there is no love lost between them. Although they have not clashed in the ring before this, in the build up to the match as usual Jennifer Aniston has been running her mouth about her opponent, mocking her ability, her talent and her race and Beyoncé has quietly seethed at the jibes. So when the referee finishes and Jennifer leans right into Beyoncé’s face and hisses another racial insult Beyoncé lets go with a big slap right to the white woman’s face and the bell rings and we’re underway!

The first 30 seconds are a series of hard, stinging slaps from both of them to the others face, neither backing down as the slaps got harder and louder until suddenly Jennifer poked Beyonce in the eyes to stop that. The despicable Miss Aniston followed up that dirty move with another, booting Beyoncé right between the legs before backing her up against the ropes and slamming a series of uppercuts into the black woman’s tits. From there she whipped Beyoncé to the opposite ropes and awaited her return but Beyoncé just bounced off the ropes and flung herself into the air and nailed a perfect forearm right to the Champ’s jaw that sent the light brown haired actress flying and rolling out of the ring and crashing to the floor where Jennifer Love Hewitt hurried over to see to her. Then she helped her up and that proved too inviting a target for the challenger as Beyoncé climbed up to the top turnbuckle above them and leapt off with a dive right onto both Jennifer’s that flattened them both.

That seemed to get the crowd into it, especially after the downers of the terrible beatings suffered previously by Jennifer Lawrence and Angelina Jolie. Beyoncé picked Aniston up by her hair and rolled her back into the ring and went to follow her but JLH was hanging onto her ankle and it took Beyoncé a couple of well timed back kicks to shake her off but by the time she did Aniston was bouncing off the far ropes and sliding with a baseball slide under the bottom rope and connecting with Beyoncé’s face hard and sending them both spilling on the outside again. Aniston is right up though and drags her foe with her and Irish whips her right into the metal stairs at the corner sending them and Beyoncé flying. At this point the heel rolls into the ring and gets the referee’s attention and this allows Jennifer Love Hewitt to approach Beyoncé, undo her bikini top then quickly use it to bind her wrists behind her back!

At this Aniston slips out of the ring again and goes to where Beyoncé lies, face first on the metal steps, she lifts Beyoncé’s head up by the hair, places her foot behind her head then pulls on the hair until it rips out in a clump which triggers her foot stamping down and smashing Beyoncé’s face into the implacable metal. What a noise that vicious move makes and when Jennifer rolls Beyoncé over her nose is all busted open. Jen then peels off Beyoncé panties too and stuffs them in her mouth before lifting her up while standing on the steps then slamming her to the hard floor from up there, her arms still trapped behind her, though the impact does loosen the weak knot JLH had tied. The Champ is in full control now and takes the time to talk trash to the crowd before dropping off the steps and hauling Beyoncé to her feet and rolling her back in the ring, where see goes for a cover and gets a two count much to her annoyance.

Jennifer then straddles her opponent and with the panties still in Beyoncé’s mouth, wraps her hands around her throat and flat out strangles her right up to the four count, breaks for a moment then does it again. Then she lifts Beyoncé, whips her into the roes and catches her on the way back with a sleeper hold that brings the black woman swiftly to her knees as Aniston tightens it by squeezing her forearm tightly across Beyoncé’s throat. This looks real bad for the challenger but she just has enough wits left to push herself up a bit then drop down forcing her head right up and into Jennifer’s jaw, forcing the break and making her bite her tongue quite nastily!

Aniston howled at the sudden, unexpected pain and rolled away. Beyoncé, despite her banged up face and lack of oxygen realised this was her chance to get back in the match. Jen was on her hands and knees but holding a hand to her jaw when Beyoncé got to her feet walked across to her and delivered a field goal kick right to her jaw, sending the Champion reeling into the bottom rope and half in and half out of the ring. Seeing that Beyoncé grabbed the top rope and used it to catapult herself up and over the rope to drop down with a legdrop right across Jennifer’s head as it hung half in and half out. Beyoncé landed on her feet and whirled round immediately as Jennifer Love Hewitt was coming towards her, she stopped quickly enough and Beyoncé cussed her out before rolling back into the ring and lifting Aniston up and dropping her with a spike DDT that garnered her a two count.

She then lifted Jennifer up by her perfect hair, stood her up against the ropes then pulled Jen’s wifebeater vest up over her head and used her own discarded bikini top (she’d picked it up after the legdrop) to tie Jen’s wrists together with her arms stretcher over her head. Then Beyoncé took her time laying in punch after punch to Jennifer Aniston’s tits before she staggered into centre ring where she nearly halved her with a running spear that Aniston somehow kicked out of the resulting cover from. The impact from that spear had loosened the bonds and they along with the vest came off to leave Jennifer Aniston topless and gasping as she tried to get to her feet. Beyoncé stood away back and lined herself up to deliver a second spear. But just as Aniston made it awkwardly to her feet and Beyoncé made to push off Jennifer Love Hewitt reached under the rope and grabbed her ankle to trip her, sending the black woman into a prat fall right onto her face. She got up and turned to grab at Hewitt’s hair but as she did Jenifer Aniston attacked from behind and drove a hard knee right into her kidney and turned the tide of the match again.

As Aniston took over with a series of punches and knees to Beyoncé’s lower back Jennifer Love Hewitt celebrated at the bottom of the ramp. However, as she stood there a figure limped out behind her emerging from the side of the ramp on a crutch. The crowd spotted Kaley Cuoco (not seen since the Main Event of Bitchmania II when Jennifer Aniston broke her leg again and shaved her bald) and cheered but JLH was none the wiser. Then when she was right behind Love Hewitt, Kaley lifted the crutch, swung it like a baseball bat and absolutely smashed it across the back of Love Hewitt’s unsuspecting skull, knocking her clean out! At this point Melissa Rauch emerged too and she and Kaley dragged the lifeless Jennifer Love Hewitt away as the match continued in the ring. As they were halfway up the ramp Jennifer Aniston spotted them and shouted but only got a couple of middle finger salutes from her mortal enemies before they continued removing her outside assistant from the area. Furious, Aniston took it out on her opponent with a brutal series of stamps to her as she lay on the mat, all the while number one contender, Jennifer Lopez looks on carefully from the commentary desk.

Jennifer lifts up Beyoncé roughly by the hair and slams her hard in the middle of the mat then angrily ascends a turnbuckle, glares at the disappearing Cuoco and Rauch then launches a splash from the top rope. At the last possible second Beyoncé moves and Aniston hits nothing but canvas, and hard. They both slowly struggle to their feet and Aniston swings a wild punch that Beyoncé ducks under then flips up and hits a superkick to the face out of nowhere then falls on top of her and get s ONE…TWO… THR..NO! A kick out at the last possible moment.

An awful lot of people had thought that was the end, not least of which was Miss Lopez who had risen to her feet, Beyoncé glanced at her, wondering if she would try to interfere but Lopez gave a crocodile grin and signalled with her hand to Beyoncé to continue. Beyoncé stepped back, waited until Jennifer Aniston had finally pulled herself up again and this time caught her jaw flush with a picture perfect superkick that knocked her out literally before she had hit the mat!

This time the cover hooked Aniston’s leg too and the referee counted, ONE…TWO…THREE!

The winner and NEW World Heavyweight Champion is BEYONCÉ KNOWLES in 17.01, and Jennifer Aniston’s reign of terror has finally been stopped. Beyonce is exhausted but gives a huge grin as the belt is presented to her not seeing Jennifer Lopez come towards the ring. But if she’s intent of attacking Beyoncé it comes to naught as Lady Gaga, Rihanna and Katy Perry rush to the ring to congratulate Beyoncé while Jennifer Aniston slowly comes too and realises she lost her title.

So the closing shot of this Mega card is Beyoncé holding the World Title aloft and in fact all three major belts are in the hands of good girls .

Actually it’s not quite the last shot on the PPV broadcast as the cameras head backstage to a male toilet, where Kaley Cuoco and Melissa Rauch are just finishing tying Jennifer Love Hewitt up, hog tied on her knees right next to a urinal. Kaley pushes a spreader circle into JLH’s mouth to keep it open then announces to the guys in the stall that there’s a new urinal for fans to use before they leave. There’s a big cheer and the camera pans back to reveal a queue more than a hundred strong to use her!!!


Despite that happy ending to the PPV there’s more serious news a few days later as it’s announced that due to the spinal injuries received in her bout, Angelina Jolie will have to retire from active competition, news which Megan Fox is quite proud of and a fate she vows will befall any other bitch’s that cross her path in the future…


Our next PPV Event will be War Games and the card has been set as follows:


War Games Cage – Turner/Watson/Williams/Dormer/Ridley v Lawrence/Swift/Gomez/Hyland/Winter

Beyoncé v. Jennifer Lopez

Ariana Grande v. Miley Cyrus

Kim Kardashian v. Kate Upton (mudfight)

Katy Perry & Rihanna v. Jennifer Aniston & Jennifer Love Hewitt

Megan Fox v. Gal Gadot

Scarlett Johannsson v. Cobie Smulders

Rita Ora v. Iggy Azalea


Have any thoughts, suggestions, criticism or feedback?

Let me hear it at thedarkcloud@birdlover.com