WAR GAMES 2017
BY DARK CLOUD

With an ominous military drumbeat an animated tank rolls across the screen, faces the viewer and fires two big, black words from its cannon – WAR GAMES, then a caged effect falls the length of the screen and our sponsor’s name appears in the corner, heralding the arrival of another celebrity, violence packed PPV. This month’s offering includes the infamous 5 on 5 War Games cage which may finally see the Young Americans, led by Jennifer Lawrence get their hands on Federation owner, Kate Middleton. Also tonight will see the first World Title defence for new World Champion Beyoncé Knowles against number one contender, Jennifer Lopez.

But to kick things off we have a very unusual match. It pits the former World Tag Team Champions against each other, but they haven’t fallen out or turned on each other, rather it’s as a result of losing the belts at the last PPV and the associated stipulation that the losers had to face each other in the opening match of the next PPV, with the stipulation that the loser will be placed in a specially constructed box so that only their head will show at crotch level and the entire crowd can give the loser a bukkake as the evening progresses.

So it is a pretty unhappy looking Iggy Azalea that emerges first and descends the ramp towards the ring. She’s wearing a bright yellow two piece bikini, her long blonde hair straight and severe and glowering at the fans who are pretty much laughing at the heels in this situation.

Her partner, Rita Ora, who emerges next, is equally upset looking as she approaches the ring wearing a white string bikini that displays her perfect figure; her blonde hair is tied back into a ponytail. As she enters the ring the two partners can barely look at each other. And no wonder, this time last month they were riding the crest of a wave and now they are surely about to self-destruct.. The referee brings them together and explains the stipulations once more and they share a slapped handshake before the bell rings and they size each other up. Because there was no way either one was agreeing to lose, not with the prospect of spending the next three hours or so getting hundreds and hundreds of men spraying their cum on their faces, no chance.

So friends they may be but neither girl intends to give anything away in this match, a fact proven in their first lock up as Iggy backs Rita into a corner then nails her with a hard knife edge chop only for Rita to respond with three rapid forearms and then a high dropkick, before dropping on her blonde friend and getting a quick two count. As they got up, almost on instinct Iggy slapped Rita hard on the face and Rita reacted in kind. The crowd cheered as the two bad girls suddenly lunged at each other each grabbing a handful of hair and began jockeying for position. Iggy broke that stalemate with a knee right into Rita’s gut before whipping her to the ropes and nailing her with a lariat clothesline that flattened the brown skinned singer. The Australian wasted no time dropping an elbow on her partner and covering for a two count of her own.

Rita locked up with Iggy reluctantly and neither’s heart appeared to be in the struggle they had before Iggy used her superior strength to shove Rita back flat on her ass. Iggy offered her hand to Rita to help her up but in one fluid movement Rita pulled her over and wrapped her arms around Iggy’s legs into a small package and the referee counted to two before the blonde managed to kick out. Coming so close to losing and the night long humiliation it would have brought seemed to snap Iggy out of her lethargy and when Rita offered her her hand to help her up this time Iggy slapped it away and drove a kick into her partners gut followed by a knee lift right into the English singers face.

As the former tag champs battle in the ring we pay a brief visit backstage where the current World Tag Team Champions and cause of this particular opening match, Katy Perry and Rihanna, are avidly watching on a monitor as they get ready for their own title match later tonight. They seemed pretty amused watching the team they just had successive wars with being forced into this battle and relieved it isn’t them.

Back to the ring and Iggy’s in control, nailing Rita with a series of hard, knife edge chops, backing her into the ropes only to whip her out of them and off the far side ropes and meeting her with a big clothesline that sent Rita spinning to the canvas. Iggy has dumped any pretence of teammates now and straddles Rita and delivers some harsh slaps to her face before scooting herself forward and positioning her ass right on Rita Ora’s face in a mimicry of their sponsor, Jennifer Lopez’s finishing manoeuvre (and maybe a flash forward to what we might see in her World Title match versus Beyoncé later tonight).

But it’s too early for that and with some thrashing of her legs Rita manages to buck Iggy off her and roll out under the bottom rope to try and gather her thoughts. That doesn’t work though as Iggy launches herself under the bottom rope with a baseball slide that smacks into Rita and sends her careering over and into the crowd rail. Iggy’s on her straight way, hauls her up and whips her toward the corner post, somehow Rita reverses it and instead it’s the Australian whose face smacks hard into the metal pole. Dazed she grabs the rope to stay up but Rita follows in with a high knee to Iggy’s back that again drives the blonde’s head right onto the pole and as she slowly slides down it we can see streak of blood from a cut that has been opened up.

Eager to finish this Rita chucks Iggy back into the ring and follows her then goes for a cover with her feet on the second rope to make it that much harder to kick out. But Iggy does kick out, just, and annoyed Rita flies into a rage and in a frenzy fires in about twenty bare knuckle punches to Iggy’s busted open skull. Calming down Rita shakes her hand (which she had hurt with all those punches) lifts her partner by her hair then hooks her arm over her head and like a flash drops her with a instant DDT. She rolls Iggy over but again the Australian kicks out at two. Frustrated Rita climbs the corner turnbuckle and stands on the top before leaping off with a splash that would surely seal the win if it had hit, but it didn’t as Iggy rolled at the last minute and Rita splats face first hard on the canvas. Sweeping her long, blood tinged hair back Iggy pushes herself to her feet and jumps up to drop both her knees right into Rita’s exposed back then she sits on Rita’s back and hooks on a Camel clutch with her hands under Rita’s chin pulling back as hard as she can as she pushes her ass down hard on the back of Rita’ spine. Iggy pours on the pressure as a small trickle of blood runs down her own face until finally in a last act before she passes out Rita feebly taps her hand three times on Iggy’s straining leg.

Your winner in 6:01 is IGGY AZALEA and as per the stipulations Rita Ora is led barely conscious from the ring and placed, kneeling in a box at ringside with just her head showing through a hole in the top of the box then a plastic funnel collar is fitted tightly around Rita’s neck and she’ll spend the rest of the night like this as many of the males in the audience queue up to cum on her face in a massive bukkake.

As for Iggy, she gives a disgusted glance towards her former partner then leaves her to her fate.

*

Next up a warning is plastered on the screen, saying graphic footage to follow as we are ‘treated’ to some of the ultra violent action from the last PPV as Megan Fox effectively ended the career of her former tag team partner, Angelina Jolie. The sheer brutality of the unprotected chairshots to Angelina’s head and the piledrivers while she was in a straightjacket are difficult to watch as are the brief bits of footage of Angelina lying in a hospital bed intercut with X-Rays and finally her sitting in a wheelchair being informed she’ll never compete again. It’s sobering stuff until the screen fades to a close up of a happy, grinning Megan Fox who is being interviewed by a clearly disgusted Carmen Electra.

“Megan Fox, after your heinous acts last month where you callously and deliberately ended another woman’s career people are calling you a crippler, a cold blooded psychopath, an evil bitch. What is your response?”

Megan grinned at Carmen and played with Carmen’s long brown hair, it looked like a tease but there was a thinly veiled undercurrent of threat to it too.

“Oh Carmen you say those names like they are insults. They are not. They are compliments. Yeah, I did cripple that old cow Angelina, but so what? She deserved it and she was just a stepping stone, and anyone else that gets in my way better realise that if you cross me you just might live out your days in a wheelchair like Angie will. And tonight, Gal Gadot, you’re dumb enough to step in the ring with me? You just might end up in the hospital bed next to her!”

There’s a scary intensity to Megan’s voice and eyes as she says this and the camera focuses on her before fading to black.

*

The next match is a feud ender pitting Scarlett Johannsson against her nemesis Cobie Smulders. These two hate each other and have battled for a few months now, interfered in each other’s matches and feuded viciously. Well it all comes to an end tonight in a BMB match (BMB stands or Become My Bitch), it’s a no DQ encounter, and the loser will have to go on all fours in centre ring after the match, have a plastic dog bone gagging her while the winner gets to strap on a huge strap on dildo and fuck the loser like a dog in front of the live and PPV audience and then the winner will get to walk the loser up the ramp, on a leash while she has to bark like a dog. Then at the top of the ramp will be a large dog bowl that will be filled with actual dog food that the loser will have to eat from. It’ll certainly be a humiliating end to the feud for someone.

Cobie is first to the ring, as the short haired, slim, brunette stalks to the ring (wearing a black two piece bikini) she pauses to look at how Rita Ora is getting on. There is a large queue before her but the camera gets in to see that already Rita has a few loads of cum dumped on her face while a couple of guys are busy jerking off either side of her and we see them both let fly to splatter in each of her eyes as Cobie moves past and slips into the ring. Scarlett comes out next and she’s a real favourite with the crowd who give her a big ovation. Of course the fact she’s wearing a bright red bikini that is struggling to contain her ample chest may have helped that reaction. She acknowledges the crowd then bounces down the ramp and rolls in – only to be promptly stomped on several times by Cobie who ignores the ref and stamps repeatedly on Scarlett’s head and body. Seeing as it’s a no DQ match the referee just shrugs and signals for the bell to be rung.

After one last particularly vicious stamp to the back of Scarlett’s head, driving her face hard into the mat, Cobie drops onto her back, straddles it and grabs her by the hair and cruelly rubs Scarlett’s beautiful movie star features back and forth across the canvas. After doing that for half a minute Cobie stopped and untied Scarlett’s bikini top then lifted it up so it was under Scarlett’s chin and then crossed her arms and pulled on either end with all her might, effectively garrotting her enemy. Panicking Scarlett thrashed her arms and legs but Cobie kept her position and tightened her stranglehold and when Scarlett grabbed the ropes the ref just shook his head sadly, no rope breaks in a no DQ match. Desperate because she was starting to lose a bit of consciousness, Scarlett used the ropes to pull herself over and out under the ropes so her feet made the floor outside the ring and from there she pulled the bikini top off her throat. This did give everyone a great view of Scarlett’s tremendous tits though.

Keen to keep up her advantage, Cobie leaned over the top rope and grabbed Scarlett by her hair and went to pull her by it, but Scarlett reached under the ropes and pulled hard on Cobie’s left ankle and tripped her, the brunette taking a hard fall right on her back. Acting swiftly Scarlett dragged the ankles of her foe towards her and either side of the ring post then from outside the ring pulled with all her might delivering a nasty looking crotching on the ring post! Then she followed up and did it twice more leaving Cobie wailing at the pain in her groin. Scarlett then slid into the ring, straddled Cobie and delivered a series of hard punches to her face before returning the favour of ripping off Cobie’s bra top to leave her topless too.

Scarlett celebrates with the bikini top, twirling it over her head as she stands up then throwing it into the crowd, she waits until Cobie is up to her knees then runs over and punts her in the cunt full force, making Cobie give an exaggerated look of pain before she topples over and Scarlett covers her for an ultra close two count. Scarlett gets up, grabs Cobie’s ankles, pulls them apart and stamps down hard on Cobie’s crotch, really grinding her heel in then lifts her by her short hair, hoists her up then dump her down crotch first over the top rope. Scarlett lays in a couple of chops then runs across the ring, hits the opposite ropes and returns with a big forearm shot that sends Cobie toppling off the rope and crashing down to the floor. The crowd are really into this contest now and roar Scarlett on as she exits the ring and stalks over to where Cobie lays. Cobie needs a break from this offense and creates one by slashing her fingernails across Scarlett’s eyes as she stoops down to lift her up. As Scarlett reels away Cobie ignores the pain emanating from her pussy to get up and deliver a couple of hard uppercuts right into the soft flesh under Scarlett’s breasts. They were hard shots and Scarlett shrieked at them and grabbed out at Cobie and the pair embraced then fell to the floor clawing at each other. Cobie’s fingers found Scarlett’s right nipple and twisted with all her might, eliciting a louder screech but also Scarlett lashed out driving an elbow into Cobie chest that forced her off and laying panting against the crowd barrier.

As Scarlett dragged herself up, willed on by the crowd, a figure appeared in the front row and reached over to help Cobie up. It was her partner Alyson Hannigan and unbeknownst to anyone else Alyson passed over a couple of brass knuckles that Cobie slipped over her fingers. Alyson faded into the crowd as Scarlett came over, lifted Cobie by the hair and rolled her back into the ring. They both got up and Scarlett nailed a chop but Cobie response of a punch knocked Scarlett back into the corner and as she staggered out of the corner Cobie nailed her with a picture perfect right hook that dropped Scarlett Johannsson on her butt, virtually out cold. Certainly she made no move as Cobie peeled off Scarlett’s bikini bottoms to leave her stark naked and made no resistance as Cobie propped her against the ropes then trapped Scarlett’s arms between the top and middle ropes. She could easily have got a pinfall on her enemy but Cobie wanted more and as Scarlett’s eyes fluttered open the brunette began a relentless onslaught of uppercuts into Scarlett’s boobs that quickly bruised and discoloured them. With Scarlett yelping in agony and unable to free her arms Cobie exited the ring and approached Alyson again and received a length of bright white bondage rope. Back in the ring Cobie wound the rope so tightly around Scarlett’s tits individually until they ballooned out and went an unhealthy puce colour as the blood was cut off in them.

Cobie laughed, slapped Scarlett’s face to get her attention then unleashed another flurry of vicious brass knuckles assisted punches to Scarlett’s tits and when she finally tired and the ref got in Scarlett had no other option but to gasp out a desperate, pleading submission to him before Cobie could assault her brutally damaged tits again.

Your winner in 11:32 is COBIE SMULDERS. And what follows is about ten minutes of complete and utter humiliation for Scarlett Johannsson as she becomes Cobie’s bitch as per the stips.

First Cobie exits the ring and picks up the strap on from the timekeepers table, then she rolls back into the ring and making sure a tearful (and still restrained) Scarlett is watching, Cobie fits the beast of a dildo to her crotch and taunts her defeated enemy with it. Then Cobie jams the rubber dog bone gag into Scarlett’s mouth and uses it’s harness to fit it in place before finally releasing Scarlett from the ropes (though she rather cruelly leaves the ropes around Scarlett’s destroyed breasts in place). She pushed Scarlett to all fours in the centre of the ring before she callously and brutally rams the strap on right into Scarlett’s dry asshole and begins to fuck her in the middle of the ring. It’s an uncomfortable and horrible sight for the thousands of Scarlett’s fans as she just has to kneel there and take this treatment until Cobie finally relents. Then she removes the gag and fits a collar to Scarlett’s throat and walks her around the ring on all fours having her bark like a dog as she goes before walking her up the ramp in the same fashion up to the waiting big bowl of dog food. And here Scarlett’s humiliation is complete as she is forced to stoop and eat some of the pet food before Cobie pushed her face into the last of it then places her foot on the back of Scarlett’s head and grinds her face into the messy, disgusting dog food while hold her arms aloft in victory completing a comprehensive humiliation and degradation of her bitter enemy.

*

After that shocking turn of events we’re treated to extended clips of the pre-PPV match, a tag team encounter that saw Kaley Cuoco return to action after her broken leg, teaming with Melissa Rauch to defeat the duo of Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs. It was an action packed affair that saw the Big Bang Theory due dominate for longs spells but eventually Kaley ended up beaten down and found her face trapped in Kat’s impressive cleavage for a breast smother. In a quite impressive show of strength, with her face still pressed tightly into Kat’s tits Kaley managed to lift her opponent up and slam her over in a belly to belly suplex that led to the pinfall victory.

So backstage Lindsay Lohan is in the dressing room speaking with a showered and changed Kaley Cuoco and Melissa Rauch.

“Kaley first match back, have to ask, how is the leg?”

“Lindsay, my leg is fine, certainly good enough to kick ass tonight don’t you think? But tonight was just a tone up, we have a message, a challenge if you like. Jennifer Aniston and her Barbie doll slave are fighting tonight, we as everyone knows we have unfinished business with those two bitches and we want to challenge them to a fight, whether they win the World Tag belts tonight or not, a battle in the site of my greatest loss , a locked steel cage at the next PPV.”

Melissa leans in to add her thoughts.

“Yeah, and if those two agree it’ll be a fair fight this time and we will get our revenge!”

*

The next competitor to emerge at the top of the ramp is Wonder Woman herself, Gal Gadot. She is dressed in her Wonder Woman outfit too and the Israeli born actress looks simply stunning as she holds her arms aloft to greet the cheering fans. But those cheers quickly die as Margot Robbie sneaks up behind her and slugs her with a hard baseball bat shot to the back that knocks Gal to her face, stunned. Margot (in full Harley Quinn outfit herself) cackles then measures Gal up for another baseball bat shot this time to her face. Gal is out, unconscious and doesn’t react as Margot takes the golden lasso from her waist and ties it in a slip knot then wraps it around the brunette’s throat. And then to a loud chorus of boos emerges Gal’s supposed opponent for the night, the ultra hated Megan Fox. Megan is in a plain black one piece swimsuit and smirks at her reaction before taking the end of the lasso from Margot then cruelly using it to drag an unmoving Gal down the ramp by the throat.

Once they’ve made it to ringside Megan almost casually stands over Gal, lifts her up so that her head is between Megan’s thighs then drops her down with a piledriver on the cold, hard, concrete floor!

Megan then rolls into the ring and demands the referee rings the bell, intimidated he does and then counts Gal out.

Your winner in 0:11 is Megan Fox who celebrates by rolling out of the ring and delivering a second piledriver on the floor to a motionless Gal Gadot. Margot then skips down to ringside and the two proceed to try and tie the free end of the lasso to the middle turnbuckle to effectively hang Gal on the ring, however, at that point Melissa Benoist races to ringside wielding a chair and chases of the two heels and stands over the destroyed Gal until the EMT’s come to ringside to tend to her.

*

Backstage Jennifer Aniston is addressing her tag team partner for the night, Jennifer Love Hewitt. This is the first PPV in an age since one of these two hadn’t held the World Championship belt and Aniston, in particular, looks different without it. She is clearly still an absolute cunt though.

“I blame you slave. I blame you for losing the belt to that damned coon Beyoncé last month, and what the fuck that stupid Spic J-Lo gets a shot at the belt before I get a re-match, I mean what the fuck?!”

Casually Aniston bitch slapped her partner/slave and Jennifer Love Hewitt just took it, lowered her head and murmured.

“Yes Mistress, sorry Mistress.”

“You fucking should be, if you hadn’t been distracted by those blonde bimbo’s Rauch and Cuoco I would have beaten Beyoncé. Anyway we’ll deal with them in good time, tonight we need to get some gold back around my waist, so you’d better get those puppies of yours working well because we need to beat Rihanna and Perry tonight and if we don’t it’s going to be a bad night for me but a fucking terrible night for you!”

And with that threat Aniston held up the electric shock collar that she had originally used to break Jennifer Love Hewitt with and the fear in JLH’s eyes told everyone exactly what they needed to know about how the big breasted actress felt about that collar – she was terrified.

*

So onto the first title match of the evening as World Tag Team Champions Katy Perry and Rihanna come to the ring first, both wearing matching star and stripes string bikinis and looking pretty fucking hot. They get a great reaction from the crowd as they try to slap the hands of as many ringside fans as the can before entering the ring. Their opponents get the exact opposite reaction as a cacophony of boos greet the appearance of Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Love Hewitt, they have made some concession to being a team as both are wearing red bikini’s but their entrance tells you all you need to know as Aniston demands Love Hewitt crawl behind her down the ramp to re-inforce just how pathetically dominated her slave really is.

Despite this it’s Love Hewitt who starts things off against Katy Perry in a battle of the boobs. And despite how weak Jennifer is behaving, in the ring she seems to want to take out her aggression on her opponent as after a short feeling out period it’s JLH that takes the advantage, driving Katy into a corner with a series of hard forearms before whipping her hard to the opposite corner and following in with a running splash that sees Katy’s face buried for a moment in Love Hewitt’s cleavage. Then she hooked Katy’s head and jumped out of the corner with a bulldog headlock that slammed her features into the canvas. But any follow up was curtailed as Aniston called out and demanded to be tagged in. Love Hewitt complied and the vicious Jennifer Aniston took over.

This was her first in ring action since dropping the World Championship and she clearly had a lot of anger to vent. He started off stamping the hell out of Katy, not letting her up just driving her heel down repeatedly all over her voluptuous body. Then Jennifer dropped her weight onto Katy’s gut, sat on her and landed a vicious series of punches to the singer’s pretty face and then once tired of that dragged her up to her feet by her hair and ran across the ring to fling her out and over the top rope to crash hard on the floor. Not content with that Aniston stalked out of the ring after her, dragged her up again by the hair then rammed Katy’s forehead into the metal ringpost, then did it another time before rolling her back into the ring. This time Katy was on her front and Jennifer took the chance to untie her bikini top and toss it aside before rubbing Katy’s face into the mat then stamping her foot down on the back of her head. Then she rolled her over and tagged in Jennifer love Hewitt and ordered her to “put the bitch out”.

JLH stepped through the ropes and Aniston unceremoniously tore off her bikini top too and pointed her at the downed Katy Perry, almost like aiming a weapon. Love Hewitt dropped to her knees and straddled Perry and leaned over to engulf her face in those massive mammories, but at the last moment Katy Perry managed to push herself further up the canvas and instead it was Jennifer love Hewitt’s face that was plunged into Katy Perry’s copious cleavage!

That brought the crowd into the match for the first time as JLH struggled in Katy’s tits, eventually she managed to wriggle free and press her own breasts over Katy’s face. After a bit of a struggle Katy managed to roll in that position but Jennifer held her tits in place as they rolled across the canvas back and forth, the crowd roaring them on. They rolled towards the Champions corner and Rihanna reached out to slap Katy’s arm as it sought to escape the smother she was beginning to be trapped in, and tagged herself into the contest. Of course, Jennifer Love Hewitt was oblivious to this tag and took a hard kick to her ribs for her trouble that broke the breast smother and allowed Katy Perry to breathe again. As JLH knelt there holding her side Rihanna unleashed a flurry of hard, fast martial arts style kicks, to her arms, her sides, to her tits than finally one to the side of Jen’s head that toppled her over and Rihanna dived on top to get a two count before Jennifer Aniston reached in and pulled her off before the ref could count to three. The referee ushered Aniston out and Rihanna really start laying more punishment into JLH, more kicks then a whip into the corner that Rihanna followed in with a high dropkick that saw JLH slump in the corner at the perfect height for Rihanna to deliver another dropkick, this time much lower but again whiplashing Jennifer’s head back.

Rihanna was really in charge now and to emphasise the point she pulled Jennifer up by her hair, propped her up in the corner then stretched her leg up to jam her right foot into Jen’s throat and choked her like that. Again Jennifer Aniston couldn’t take that and charged into the rig to land a punch on Rihanna to break the hold but as she was physically dragged out by the referee Rihanna body slammed JLH in centre ring and tagged in Katy, who ascended to the top turnbuckle and hit an incredible splash from the top rope right onto Love Hewitt’s chest. That garnered an incredibly close two count with JLH just kicking out in time. Jennifer Aniston was fuming and cursing and swearing at anyone who would listen, it was pretty obvious she was more used to singles competition and then an object flew through the air from the crowd and smacked into Jen’s head – it was an egg and it broke and the yolk ran down her famous hair much to her disgust. She jumped off the apron and came to the crowd to see Kaley Cuoco and Melissa Rauch standing there with an egg box and both pelted Aniston with more eggs at close range.

While this was going on Katy Perry had pulled a dazed Jennifer Love Hewitt up to her knees then stepped up to her and lowered her own breasts right over Jen’s nose and mouth before wrapping her arms and legs around Jennifer’s body like a boa constrictor. Love Hewitt struggled weakly for a short period before her limbs went limp and seconds later, with Jennifer Aniston still trying to get into the crowd to get at Cuoco and Rauch, the referee called for the bell.

Your winners and still World Tag Team Champions in 8:01 are KATY PERRY & RIHANNA, and they get their belts and leave as Jennifer Aniston realises what just happened in the ring. She is furious and berates an unconscious Jennifer Love Hewitt, spits on her gives her a hard kick to the ribs then storms off angrily. Swearing at a cameraman and threatening that she’ll break both Kaley’s legs at the next PPV.

*

Backstage Lindsay Lohan has Jennifer Lawrence for an interview and asks how she’s feeling as tonight’s big War Games cage main event gets nearer.

“Lindsay I can’t wait, I cannot wait until I get my hands of that stuck up bitch Kate Middleton. She has done so much shit these last six month and tonight I get a chance to face off with her one on one in a cage.”

“That is if your team win’s though and because you chose that stipulation it’s your team that will be at a numerical disadvantage throughout the match, it seemed your team weren’t quite all behind you on that call?”

“It’s Ok, I’ve told them I’ll enter the cage first for us, they know this is our chance to get revenge for all that’s been perpetrated through all these months and I personally guarantee we’ll take it!”

*

Elsewhere Kate Middleton is addressing Elizabeth Hurley from her throne.

“You saw what happened to Catherine Zeta Jones? You saw what happens to those that let me down? Tonight Elizabeth you are team captain, it’s your job to ensure we win and that I do not have to enter that cage at the end. Understand?”

“Yes, your majesty.”

“Good, because if you let me down it will be very bad for you.”

At that thinly veiled threat Eva Green comes around the throne slapping a heavy rope noose on her hand and staring hard at Miss Hurley.

*

Our next match does not take place in the squared circle, rather there is a shallow pit set up by the side of the entrance ramp at floor level and it is filled with lots and lots of filthy, sticky, brown mud. First out is Kate Upton, the bouncy American model wearing a frankly, overstretched white string bikini. But she’s not her usual happy self because in the pre-game show Kate Middleton let it be known that whoever lost this mud fight between backstage interviewers was going to be immediately fired from the Federation. Still Kate takes the time to wave to her fans as she descends the ramp then walks up the side of it towards the mud pit.

Next out is her hated opponent the bullying monster that is Kim Kardashian, flanked by her sisters Khloe, Kourteney and Kylie Jenner. The crowd, of course, hate these stuck up self-important bitches and rain down boos as they descend the ramp then turn towards the mud pit. Kate Upton stands impassively at the far side of the pit and glares as Kim stands at the other end and casually undoes the belt on her silk dressing gown and shrugs it off to reveal her impressive figure clad in a tiny string black bikini.

As Kim was stripping the youngest sibling, Kylie Jenner, had made her way around the pit and distracted Kate Upton, trash talking to her and finally spitting in her face. That got her a hard slap to the face but she had done her job as Kim had approached on the other side of the pit, jerked Kate around by a hard tug on her blonde hair then fired a hard forearm smash into her face. This is accompanied by the bell being rung, followed by Kim driving a kick into Kate’s gut as she lifts her hands to cover her injured face. Then, as Kate doubles over Kim steps over her trapping her head between the thick Kardashian thighs and lifts her up then drops her with a powerbomb right into the mud!

Kim plunges in after her and drops to straddle Kate Upton’s chest and delivers a series of slaps and punches finishing by ripping off Kate’s bra top and winding it around her throat and choking her with it in the mud. Finally, Kim releases her hold and gets off Kate Upton and rolls her over in the mud and forces her beautiful face right into the brown mud and forcibly pushes that face deep into the thick mud and holds it there. Despite her mud splattered body Kim Kardashian looks pretty stunning as she sits atop Kate Upton’s back and grins manically as she keeps her opponents face buried in the mud. Kate’s arms and legs thrash wildly to begin with but the longer she is engulfed in the mud the weaker her struggles become until she is barely moving. And at this point Kim laughs, rolls her over and places her large arse right over Kate Upton’s face and amuses herself with scratching Kate Upton’s mud cover tits whilst she smothers her into unconsciousness with her famous ass.

Seconds later and it’s over and the referee calls for the bell as Kate is not moving at all. The winner in 3:11 is KIM KARDASHIAN and as a result Kate Upton will be fired immediately from the Federation. But Kim isn’t finished with her yet and drags her out of the mud pit by the hair where Kim’s sisters douse her in warm water to clean most of the mud, for Kate though, they have a hose firing icy cold water that they turn on the buxom blonde and blast the mud off her furiously. Then Kim puts a dog collar and leash around Kate’s neck and they drag her backstage, through the corridors and to a fire exit that leads into a dark alley at the back of the arena, Kim then pushes Kate out into the alley, naked and shivering and she falls on all fours while a camera zooms in on three vagrants that are sitting in the alley a bit further down warming their hands around a burning barrel.

Kim Kardashian commands the cameraman to stay and film what happens and we’ll catch up later in the show.

*

For now we’ll catch up on another of tonight’s big losers as the camera pans across the arena and to where Rita Ora is. Not that you’d know it was Rita now what with her face being totally covered and coated in cum. There’s a still a long line of guys waiting for their chance to relieve themselves too so Rita has a way to go yet!

*

Backstage and we have an interview with Jennifer Lopez, who is going to be challenging for the World Heavyweight title later this evening, Carmen Electra is holding the mic and as ever J-Lo is sneering and acting superior.

“Jennifer, tonight you get a shot at the World Champion, Beyonce, can you tell us your thoughts in the build up to this huge match?”

“My thoughts right now are that I’m standing too close to you, you dirty skank. Other than that I am just waiting, because in just a few minutes I will realise a dream of mine, one that was meant to happen since I came here and all I have to do is dispose of that dumb nigger with the belt.”

*

Our next match of the night sees Junior Heavyweight Champion Ariana Grande defend against Miley Cyrus. Of course both these girls could have been in the War Games cage later tonight, they’ve both crossed the Royal Family previously. However, Kate Middleton insisted that the title had to be defended on this show and decided that Miley was the number one contender. Neatly taking both out of the running for the war Games and with Miley recently showing some distinctly heelish traits (for example her unprovoked smashing of a beer bottle on a defeated Nicki Minaj, at the previous PPV show) the manipulative owner of the Federation had sowed seeds of conflict between these two young American singers.

Miley emerges to her hit “Wrecking Ball” and is clad pretty trashily, in white denim shorts, a white string bikini and a cheap and nasty silver tiara on her head. She’s swigging from a beer bottle and spends her walk down the ramp gesticulating and arguing with the fans at ringside who just a few months ago had been her ardent supporters. It certainly appears 24 year old Miley is drunk or under the influence of something as she’s slurring her words as she insults the fans and is spilling as much of her beer as she is drinking.

In stark contrast to Miley Cyrus’s frankly embarrassing entrance, the Junior Heavyweight Champion, Ariana Grande, makes a very classy entrance. The 23 year old has her long brown hair in a long ponytail and is wearing a reflective silver bikini that perfectly displays her slim figure. She’s the exact opposite of Miley as she smiles at the crowd and slaps their outstretched hands but that is swiftly halted when Miley leans over the ropes spits a mouthful of beer down onto Ariana’s head as she’s facing the crowd. Disgusted Ariana turns and makes a face but by then Miley has bounced off the ropes then slid under them to baseball slide into Ariana and send the Champ flying on the floor. All the while Miley had held onto her bottle and she raised it and smacked it off Ariana’s skull and it smashed into a thousand pieces.

With the referee urging them to get in the ring Miley lifts Ariana by her hair, hooks her head then drops her with a DDT on the floor right on the shattered pieces of glass and when Ariana rolled over in a dazed state you can see her face has been cut open in several places by the glass. This time Miley lifts up her opponent and rolls her into the ring and the referee calls for the bell to start this championship match.

As could be expected it’s all Miley Cyrus to begin with, Ariana is still stunned from the bottle shot and the DDT and offers nothing as Miley straddle her and delivers a series of punches to her bloody face then literally rips Ariana’s bra off her body to reveal her pert little tits. Which Miley fastens her claws onto and she twists, scratches and pulls them viciously. Then the drunken blonde slides sexily further down Ariana’s body and lowers her mouth onto Ariana’s left tit and sinks her teeth into the young champion’s nipple!

Ariana rears up and shrieks wildly at this extreme move and desperately throws her fingers at Miley’s face and pokes her in the eyes and forces a break, where a clearly distressed Miss Grande cradles her boob and looks about ready to cry. Miley gets up to her feet with a cruel smirk on her mouth and snaps her jaw aggressively at her opponent, indicating she’s not done with that bite manoeuvre. Miley advances again but this time Ariana sees her coming, drops and hits a leg trip that sends the short haired blonde down, face first onto the canvas. The topless brunette is clearly angered and dishes out some retribution with a series of kicks and stomps to Miley as she pushes herself up, then once she’s on her knees Miley takes a low drop kick to her face from Ariana. Then she drags Miley up by her hair, leans her over the ropes and lashes in several harsh knife edge chops before backing up and hitting a clothesline that knocks Miley up and over the rope and crashing to the floor.

Ariana steps back, waits until Miley is getting up, then rushes at the ropes, leaps through them and nails a flying forearm right to her challengers’ jaw outside the ring! The crowd loved that high risk move and they got even louder when Ariana lifted Miley up by her bra and it snapped leaving the dirty blonde similarly topless as Ariana was. She threw the bra into the crowd and shoved Miley into the crowd barrier and stepped back before shooting forward with an attempted superkick. But it missed as Miley moved and Ariana ended up crotching herself uncomfortably on the metal barrier, something Miley happily exacerbated by bouncing the metal barrier up and down beneath Ariana’s coochie. Then Miley positioned a chair beside Ariana, stood on it and grabbed her by her ponytail and viciously lifted her up by it and dropped her down crotch first on the metal barrier, then did it again, and again much to the brunette Champion’s obvious distress.

Miley rolled back into the ring to break a rather slow ref’s count then immediately rolled back out and used the chair to deliver a jumping clothesline that sent Ariana spilling off the barrier and into the crowd.

Miley was in charge now and was pretty snotty about it, trash talking Ariana, slapping her contemptuously and when she couldn’t roll her back into the ring first time, kicking her then spitting on her before getting her in at the second attempt. Once back in the ring she waited until Ariana got to all fours and began to crawl towards a corner then ran up behind her and kicked a field goal right between her thighs!

The camera caught the moment of connection between Miley Cyrus’s toe and Ariana Grande’s cunt perfectly, Ariana’s mouth going wide in surprise before she gave off a primitive howl of agony. Miley chuckled and grabbed Ariana’s ankles and flipped her over, spread her legs wide then delivered a series of hard stamps right to her injured pussy before finishing by falling head first onto the wounded area. Miley kept her face between Ariana’s thighs and acted like she was eating her out before getting up with a wicked grin and dragging Ariana up by the hair, then lifting her and dropping her upside down in the corner turnbuckle in the Tree of Woe. Miley then climbed the ropes and placed her foot right on Ariana’s aching pussy as she hung upside down and jumped up and down on it much to Ariana’s audible distress.

Miley eventually jumped off and retreated to the opposite corner before charging across the ring and delivering a dropkick right into her opponent’s gut that dislodged Ariana and saw her tumble face first into the ring. Miley rolled her over and got a close two count. Miley lifted Ariana again and slammed her in the centre of the ring, then climbed a turnbuckle, posed and leapt off with a diving headbutt, aiming right for between Ariana’s legs. Mustering some strength Ariana rolled out of the wat and Miley’s head connected with nothing but canvas as she splatted right into the mat! That miss brought the fans back into the match and they got right behind Ariana as she rolled under the bottom rope and slowly used the ropes to pull herself achingly to her feet. Miley was recovering too though and seeing where her foe was she kicked her through the ropes then leapt up and over them with a sunset flip that saw Miley land on her feet and in prime position to powerbomb the champ off the apron. Except that Ariana was gripping hold of the ropes to block that and as Miley struggled Ariana let go and shot into a hurancanrana that sent Miley spinning across the floor and crashing into the barrier. Ariana was quicker up this time and ascended the outside of the turnbuckle, stood atop it then launched herself with a bodypress that slammed into Miley just as the blonde got up. The pair of them landed in a mess of legs and arms and it was Ariana that was first up, dragging Miley behind her and tossing her back into the ring then following up by waiting until Miley rose then springboarding up to the top rope and launching a missile drop kick that found it’s mark and got an extremely close two count before Miley barely kicked out.

As Miley tried to get up Ariana hit a rolling cradle for a pin but Miley reversed it and stood up and held the ropes as the referee kept counting and it looked like a title change would happen by foul means but somehow Ariana managed to roll through again and held a schoolgirl roll that saw her finally get the three count.

The winner after11:51 of a hard fought contest is ARIANA GRANDE. As Ariana celebrate with the belt in the ring Miley rolls outside and hunts under the ring and emerges with a bottle of champagne, as she stalks around the ring to get behind Ariana and attack her with it Nicki Minaj slips from the crowd behind her and grabs the bottle and as Miley spins around Nicki smashes the large bottle right across Miley Cyrus’s head! There’s a loud smashing noise as the bottle hits and Miley drops like a stone, Nicki rolls into the ring and congratulates her friend Ariana on her victory and as they leave up the ramp Miley just manages to lift her head up looking dazed and stunned and with a spider web of blood forming across her forehead from that brutal bottle shot.

*

Backstage Jennifer Lawrence is addressing her team and giving them a pep talk before the biggest match of their lives. Sarah Hyland, Ariel Winter, Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez stand in a semi circle in front of J-Law and all five young women are in a variety of camouflage and face paint, and bullet belts and other army paraphernalia that looks pretty sexy on their lithe young bodies.

“Ladies, today is the day, we have endured the enemy’s attacks on us for months now and tonight we get the chance to fight back. I know that choosing the option of going into the War Games cage second means that we will be at a disadvantage for the entire match until we are all in, but it also gives us a chance to get out hands on that bitch Kate Middleton. Or at least it gives me that chance. And as I said last month, given that I decided that order it is only fair and right that I start for our team and endure the numbers disadvantage the longest, but I know Ladies, that we shall overcome these odds and by the end of tonight a great evil shall be laid to rest!”

With an enthusiastic “Hoo-rah!” the rest of her team salute her and we are only minutes from seeing one of the hottest feuds in the Federation coming to a head.

*

But first we have the not inconsiderable factor of a World Championship Title defence, pitting new Champion Beyoncé against Jennifer Lopez.

First to the ring is the challenger, Miss Lopez clad in the half black, half white one piece swimsuit from her pop video for the song ‘Booty’. And she looks just as fucking hot as she descends the ramp in it as she did writhing next to Iggy Azalea in the video. Her hair is wet and swept back and she really looks sultry as she enters the ring, but beauty is skin deep and everyone in the arena knows that J-Lo is a arrogant, vicious bitch and as tough as she is there is no love for her from the crowd. Not that she cares, she leans back and stretches herself on the ropes as her opponent is announced.

Beyoncé steps through the curtain to her “Run The World” song and wearing an army tunic and hat , both of which she strips off as she marches proudly down the ramp to display the large World Heavyweight Championship belt around her waist. She’s wearing a black one piece that is mostly a bra and briefs with the rest being black mesh that shows a nice amount of the singers flesh. The crowd give her a good ovation, delighted to have someone other than the detestable Jennfier Aniston as a World Champion (though maybe not Jennifer Lopez?).

In the ring Beyoncé marches right up to Jennifer and holds the belt up in her face, challenging her and the two and quickly nose to nose as the announcements are made and the referee gives them instruction, there is a buzz in the arena, this feels like a big match between two genuine superstars. As soon as the bell sounds they trade punches in a wild frenzy that only abates when Lopez (having taken three unanswered punches) drives her knee into her opponents gut. That gives the Latino an advantage that she drives home by grabbing Beyoncé’s hair to hold her head down then driving her knee into Beyoncé’s face three times before hooking her head in that stooped position and dropping down with a sharp angle DDT that spikes Beyoncé’s skull into the canvas.. One cover later and we’ve had our first two count of the match as Beyoncé kicks out.

It’s all Jenny on offense now and she kneels atop Beyoncé and fires in a series of punches, slaps and forearms before dragging her up then wrapping her arms around her and driving her down with a belly to belly suplex that brings another two count. Jennifer lifts her foe up again and again wraps her arms around her but this time Beyoncé braces her legs and instead of being flipped over starts shoving and ends up driving J-Lo into the corner, winding her then driving her shoulder multiple times into her gut. Beyoncé then steps back before climbing up the ropes over Jenny, standing over her and firing down closed fist after closed fist into J-Lo’s forehead while the crowd count along, all the way up to twenty!

Finally pausing, Beyoncé steps back and Jennifer staggers from the corner and falls flat on her face. Beyoncé punches the air to a loud cheer then stoops to pick her foe up by her long, brown hair, she lifts J-Lo to her knees but once she’s there Jennifer drives a thumping uppercut right between the Champ’s legs dropping her to her knees before her. And at that point Jenny leans back then rocks forward with brutal head butt right on Beyoncé’s nose!

Beyoncé falls on her side clutching at her face as Jenny gets to her feet, then stands over her and drives her heel down into Beyoncé’s gut, which sees her move her hands away from her face revealing a busted nose, then follows up with another heel pounded into Beyoncé’s face then ground in. J-Lo then drops to her knees, grabs Beyoncé by her hair and repeatedly smashed the back of her skull against the canvas before getting up and using her feet to push her out of the ring to fall hard to the floor. Jenny followed her out and lifted Beyoncé up to her knees, dragged her over and slammed her face on top of the steel ring steps, then did it again.

Jenny then stepped up onto the steps and faced the crowd and mockingly raised her arms to a chorus of boos, she smirked then reached down to grab Beyoncé’s hair and jerked her up onto the steps too then shoved the Champs head between her thighs and made to try and hoist her up in a piledriver position atop the steel steps!

She got Beyoncé’s feet up and came so close to getting her vertical but through some survival instinct Beyoncé stopped her momentum and gave a mighty heave that sent J-Lo up and over her back to drop hard on the concrete floor from up on the steps. It was a bone shaking impact and Jennifer Lopez just lay on her back motionless as Beyoncé slowly pushed herself up to her feet, glanced at her downed foe then leapt off the steps herself with a big elbow drop right into Jennifer’s sternum. The crowd react accordingly with a huge cheer and are loving this hardcore action.

Slowly Beyoncé picked herself up then grabbed her opponent’s hair and dragged her to her knees where Jennifer mustered all her strength into a hard forearm right up between the Champ’s thighs that dropped Beyoncé to her knees too and there, both kneeling by the ring the pair of them exchanged a plethora of punches, chops and slaps until finally J-Lo ended things with a deliberate poke right into Beyoncé’s eyes. And then Jennifer leaned back and delivered another evil looking and sounding headbutt right into Beyoncé’s face, smashing her perfect nose again and causing even more blood to stream out of it. Jenny got to her feet and dragged Beyoncé by the hair after but instead of getting in the ring like the referee was imploring them to do (desperate not to have to count them out in such an important match) Miss Lopez walked halfway up the metal walkway ramp, hooked her arm over Beyoncé’s head then spiked her head down and into the ramp with a sudden, snap DDT. Jenny then rolled over to straddled Beyoncé’s back, grabbed her hair and roughly ground the Champion’s wrecked nose back and forth on the unforgiving metal.

As she was doing that her minion, Iggy Azalea appeared in the area to the side of the ramp and began to stack two wooden folding tables on the floor. This did not look good at all.

Having finished rubbing Beyoncé’s face Jennifer lifted it up and allowed the camera to focus on the bloody bruised mess she was now in before pulling her up and walking her to the top of the ramp and standing at the edge obviously positioning herself to powerbomb Beyoncé from the stage through the two tables to the ground. Thankfully it never happened as Beyoncé managed to wriggle away and as Jenny pursued her to pull her back into position Beyoncé hit a desperation superkick that landed right on the edge of J-Lo’s chin sending her teetering on the edge of the stage. Beyoncé srang at her and hit a fearsome spear right to Jennifer’s gut but she hadn’t seen how close to the edge they were and they both went flying off the side of the ramp and feel through the two tables and landed with a loud crash in a jumble of limbs and bits of table on the concrete floor!

Neither moved and as Iggy tried to rouse her mentor she could get no reaction and soon the referee was at them and wildly calling for help from the back. Eventually EMT teams arrived and began seeing to the competitiors and eventually both were stretchered away to ambulances separately.

So after roughly 8:00 of wild action the match is a no contest and the World Champion remains BEYONCÉ.

*

After that insanity and with the War Gams cage descending from the ceiling and being fitted into place it’s time to pay once final visit to Rita Ora who is still providing a bukkake to the audience. By now her face is completely covered in cum, her eyes are gummed together, her nose is blocked with cum , her hair is a heavy sodden, creamy mess and the cone around her neck is filled with almost three inches of cum sloshing about that now is at the level of her bottom lip. And still the guys keep cumming, right now there are three friends spraying their loads onto Rita’s unseeing head and the queue behind them is still over a hundred men long. This has been a real humiliating, degrading night for the English singer no doubt.

Speaking of catching up with losers from earlier, the camera now heads backstage where Kim Kardashian greets it in a gaggle with her sisters and they lead it backstage while cackling like witches and eventually make it to the fire exit where she dumped Kate Upton earlier in the night. Kate is still out there in the dirty back alley and as the camera focuses on her we can see the vagrants from earlier have overpowered her and while one is fucking her doggy style from behind a second one is fucking her mouth whilst a third stands at the side pissing on her head and face, it’s a grim scene for the now former backstage interviewer but the Kardashians show no pity and laugh and make some pretty horrible comments about her before the camera fades to black…

*

And so to the Main Event. The War Games cage is a cage similar to a Hell In A Cell cage but with a door at opposing corners. It is roofed at a lower height too and the walls of the cage are a couple of yards from the ring so there is space around the ring for fighting too. As per last year two women will kick things off on a one-to one basis, after five minutes a member of the Royal Family will enter the cage and create a 2 on 1 advantage for two minutes at which point one of Jennifer’s team mates will join the battle and even things up. That pattern will continue until all ten women are in the cage and after that as soon as one woman submits the match will end. As mentioned previously if the losing member is on the Royal Family team then Federation owner Kate Middleton will have to enter the ring for five minutes locked in along with Jennifer Lawrence.

And talking of Miss Lawrence she is the first person to emerge on the ramp to a great ovation, she is followed by Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez, Sarah Hyland and Ariel Winter. All five are looking extremely hot and extremely naked (another feature of this bout being all the combatants entered nude). The crowd give them a real cheer as they walk down the ramp, mostly for how fucking sexy they all are but also because they are backing them to shut up the stuck up English heels for good tonight. The five American’s congregate at the far corner of the cage by the door but Jen doesn’t enter the cage just yet. And then the regal, classical tune fills the arena and Kate Middleton emerges alone at the top of the ramp. The Duchess of Cambridge is clad in a classy dark blue diamond encrusted ball gown and looks amazing, if a little angry particularly as a chant starts up from the crowd implying that she’s a “Skank Ho’”. Her ever present bodyguard Eva Green comes and stands beside her holding a rope and noose and holds it up as the five members of the Royal team come out, Elizabeth Hurley, Natalie Dormer, Emma Watson, Sophie Turner and Maisie Williams each glance at the noose more than aware that Kate has decreed that if any one of them submits in the cage Eva will wrap it around their neck and hang them if Kate has to fulfil the stipulation. Quite an incentive to win the match, no?

As the five combatants descend the ramp towards the cage, other members of the Royal Family (Daisy Ridley, Kelly Brook, Keira Knightley and Victoria Beckham) carry out a large, ornate throne and place it at the head of the ramp and Kate demurely sits in it to observe the coming carnage.

With the five English heels in their corner the referee calls for the bell and instructs both teams to send in their first team members. Leading the way for her team is Jennifer Lawrence, who gets a huge cheer as she pulls open the cage door and steps in, entering equally confidently on the opposite corner is Natalie Dormer and the two former colleagues on The Hunger Games series of films slide into the ring and charge at each other as the opening five minute period begins!

They go toe to toe and unload a flurry of punches and slaps in centre ring with neither taking a back step. Eventually Jennifer gets the upper hand landing three strikes without response and backs Natalie up to the ropes, whereupon she Irish whips her out of the ropes, across the ring then gets her with a stiff clothesline as she returns to a loud ovation from the boisterous crowd. The camera cuts to an unamused looking Kate Middleton sitting on her throne. Jennifer drops to her knees on top of Natalie and fires in more hard, bare knuckle punches to her face, then pulls her up and tosses her out of the ring to the floor. She follows her out, grabs Natalie by her ponytail and uses it to pull back her head then ram it forward into the steel cage repeatedly until Miss Dormer slumps down the cage a small trickle of blood coming from her forehead. Jennifer placed her foot on Natalie’s throat and pressed hard, choking her between foot and steel bar and pointed through the cage at where Kate glared down at them, the message obvious. While she was doing that though Emma Watson skipped around the cage and threw a handful of salt right into the unsuspecting Jennifer Lawrence’s eyes through the cage bars. Blinded J-Law staggered back and tried to clear her eyes just as the buzzer sounded to admit the next member of the Royal Family and it was Emma Watson herself who ran through the door and around the ring then drove a high knee to Jennifer Lawrence’s back that sent her flying forward to smash face first into the cage wall.

And Emma stayed on the attack grabbing the back of Jennifer’s head and smacking her face into the cage again and again, then pressing it into the cage wall and cruelly dragging and grinding her face across the bars and as a camera zooms in through the bars we see that Jennifer Lawrence has been bust wide open, her face already coated in her own red plasma. By then Natalie Dormer was to her feet and called over to Emma, Emma whipped J-Law across the floor and Natalie dropped down to catch Jennifer with a drop toe hold that saw her smash head first into the cage wall at a hell of a velocity. From there they rolled Jennifer into the ring and Emma hooked on a Camel Clutch in centre ring to weaken her back while Natalie fired in hard punches to her bloodied face. And Jennifer is cruelly doubled teamed like that until the buzzer goes and the door is opened to admit the second part of her team, Sarah Hyland rushes into the cage and with an athletic leap jumps to the top rope and nails Natalie with a missile dropkick that sends her flying out of the ring. Sarah nips up and spins round to hit superkick into Emma’s face to release Jennifer from her clutches and the crowd is going wild.

Sarah kicks Natalie out of the ring under the bottom rope and helps Jennifer to her feet, this allows the camera to focus on what a bloody mess her face is, but she seems still with it and the two good girls go to opposite sides of the ring and launch plancha’s over the ropes to crash into their two English opponents. Sarah flattens Natalie while Jennifer flattens Emma and she lands on top of her and kneels on her hitting a series of hard punches before pulling her up to her feet by the hair and runs across the floor with her and rams her head into the cage wall. After rubbing Emma’s face into the cage for a bit she pulls her head back and repeatedly rams her face first into the cage ten times, each one counted by the rabid crowd. On the other side of the cage Sarah has Natalie Dormer to her feet and starts to lash in some hard knife edge chops that send the Englishwoman reeling back against the ringpost just as the buzzer sound to signal the third member of the heel team. And it is Elizabeth Hurley who steps through the door, the team Captain. She enters right behind Sarah Hyland and grabs her by the hair and hurls her into the cage wall then slides into the ring, where she is met by Jennifer Lawrence who has left Emma Watson downed outside the ring to face this new threat. The crowd roar as the two Captains face off centre ring and trade heavy blows, each matching the other until finally Elizabeth Hurley jabs a finger into Jennifer’s eyes to halt her. Liz drives a knee into Jennifer’s gut that doubles her over so that her blood soaked hair hangs down and Miss Hurley wraps her thighs around it and looks to set her up for a powerbomb. But just as she reached down to lift her opponent Sarah comes from behind her and nails a dropkick to Hurley’s back to break it up.

Jennifer Lawrence drops down and under the bottom rope as Sarah hits the ropes and charges at Elizabeth Hurley and launches herself up and wraps her legs around Hurley’s head going for a head scissors but the tall Englishwoman holds her then steadies herself, lifts Sarah up further and drops her down in a modified powerbomb that makes the ring shudder. Wiping blood from her face Jennifer sees this and makes to get back in the ring but Emma Watson is up and prevents her by grabbing her hair from behind and she flings the American star backwards so she stumbles and violently smacks the back of her head against the cage, stunning her. Emma then leans down and chokes Jennifer on the floor as Elizabeth Hurley lays in some slaps to Sarah Hyland before setting her up for a second powerbomb. But the buzzer sounds and Sarah’s on-screen sister, Ariel Winter, charges into the fray, racing into the ring and clipping Elizabeth’s knee from behind to make her drop Sarah before executing the move. Ariel has made a fast start and continues by driving a series of forearms to Hurley’s face, before bouncing off the ropes and nailing a low drop kick. By then Sarah is up and the two Modern Family sluts team up to double suplex Hurley then when she staggers to her feet they double clothesline her out and over the top rope to crash to the floor. However, as they turn around Natalie Dormer charges at them and hits them with a double clothesline, knocking them both to the floor too!

As Natalie steps out of the ring and drops to the floor and starts putting the boots to both Ariel and Sarah with a series of vicious stamps the buzzer sounds and it’s time for Sophie Turner to enter the chaos. The red headed English girl avoids the others though and stalks around the ring to where a bloody Emma Watson is still choking an even bloodier Jennifer Lawrence, she speaks with Emma then as Emma releases her hold Sophie picks Jennifer up and struggles but eventually gets her into a pilderiver position while Emma climbs the turnbuckle and the two evil English bitches cackle a laugh then hit a wicked looking spike piledriver on the concrete floor, driving Jennifer Lawrence’s skull right into the floor. She’s motionless as Sophie lifts up the apron of the ring and finds some cable that she pulls out and wraps a few times around J-Law’s throat and chokes her while Emma moves off to help her team mates. Not that they require any help right then as Sarah Hyland has become the latest starlet to be busted open and the equally bloody Natalie Dormer has rammed her head into the ringpost then the cage wall to the point that Sarah’s forehead has a cut on it and her nose is bleeding too. While Natalie continues to batter Sarah, Elizabeth Hurley has rolled Ariel Winter into the ring and has dropped her into a series of backbreakers across her knee, clearly thinking towards the submission that will be required come the end of the this match. She has her bent right over her knee as the buzzer sounds and Taylor Swift enters the cage.

This lifts the crowd who have seen their heroes take a beating in the last few minutes and Taylor runs up the side of the ring and spears Natalie Dormer right into the cage wall to get her off Sarah. Not showing any ill effects Taylor gets right back up and hurries around the ring to deliver a hard kick to Sophie Turner to get her off the motionless Jennifer Lawrence. She looks in the ring at Liz Hurley but as she does Emma Watson throws herself from the top turnbuckle out at her but Miss Swift side steps and Emma crashes hard to the floor. Only then does Taylor enter the ring and face up to Liz Hurley who has tossed Ariel’s body aside to meet this fresh foe.

Liz comes at Taylor who nimbly avoids her and gets behind her and nails a German suplex! Then she picks the older woman up and hits another and then a third. Meantime outside the ring Sarah has reversed the tide against Natalie and is rubbing her face hard against the cage on once side while on the other side Ariel and Sophie are brawling wildly. Both Jennifer Lawrence and Emma Watson are just lying on the floor.

The buzzer sounds and the final member of The Royal Family team enters, Maisie Williams may be the youngest and smallest in this match but she is unmatched in viciousness a point she proves by sliding into the ring behind Taylor Swift and smashing a forearm up between her legs in a nasty looking low blow that drops Miss Swift to her knees. Maisie then kicks the back of Taylor’s head to lay her out then slides out of the ring to cause more chaos. She rams into Sarah Hyland, smacking her into the cage and as Sarah drops to her knees Maisie leans over and bites the cut on Sarah’s forehead! It make for an extreme sight as the camera focuses on Maisie literally tearing away at Sarah’s skin with her teeth! Across the cage Sophie Turner finally gets the upper hand on Ariel and knees her in the gut then picks her up and powerbombs her on the apron before dropping her to the floor. This allows Sophie to go over and lift Emma up and they once again set up for a spike piledriver to Jennifer Lawrence. In the ring Taylor Swift can see what is going to happen and tries to get over there to interject but Liz Hurley drops both her knees on Taylor’s back and scores some punches to the back of her head then lifts her head up so she can watch Emma once again leap off the turnbuckle and push J-Law upturned feet down to spike her skull against the floor.

Maisie finally removes her teeth from Sarah Hyland and allows Natalie Dormer back in to grind the American beauties bloody features across the steel and as Sophie and Emma start a beatdown on Ariel Winter, Maisie kneels over the non moving body of Jennifer Lawrence and lowers her jaws to her bloody forehead and graphically chews on it. As she’s doing this the crowd are near gagging, the buzzer goes and it’s time for the final participant to enter and Selena Gomez is desperate to get in there. But Elizabeth Hurley was ahead of her and seeing her team was on top in the cage she slid out of the ring and blocked the face team’s door from opening. Selena shoved desperately to get in and got the door open a bit so Elizabeth reached through to claw at her face. At that exact moment Taylor Swift charged into Miss Hurley from behind, and Liz’s arm got jammed in t the door frame as both her won and Taylor’s weight pressed against it! Liz gave a pained shriek as she fell back cradling her arm, unable to lift it herself. This allowed Selena to step into the cage and the Match Beyond to begin in earnest.

So while Maisie is busy with her gruesome assault on Jennifer Lawrence, Natalie Dormer is smacking Sarah Hyland’s bloody face off the cage and Sophie Turner is hoisting Ariel Winter onto her shoulder in preparation of charging her head first into the cage (she’ll fail as Ariel slips out the back and instead sends the red head into the bars). Emma Watson is the only one of her team to realise the trouble Elizabeth Hurley finds herself in, Emma races around to come to her aid but Selena sees her coming and hits a hard lariat as she rounds the post that gives Taylor Swift all the space she needs. And Taylor intends to make good use of it, firstly she arm bars that injured arm of Elizabeth’s then twists it behind her back then rams it into the ring post. This literally brings Liz to tears but she’s not quit yet, but when Taylor wraps the arms around the ring post and pulls back on it the pain is clearly intense and despite holding out a few seconds Elizabeth Hurley has no choice but to tap the mat frantically and scream out hr submission!

Your winners then are the team of JENNIFER LAWRENCE / SARAH HYLAND / ARIEL WINTER / TAYLOR SWIFT / SELENA GOMEZ after 24:22 of intense, violent action.

In the aftermath security guards enter the cage and usher the participants out, all expect for Jennifer Lawrence, who, as per the match stipulations now gets 5 minutes alone in the cage with The Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton. But given the hellish state Jen is in this can’t be what the winners hoped for and her team mates call across to where she lies on the floor desperately trying to rouse her. Once they are all out Eva Green grabs Liz Hurley and drags her by that injured arm up the ramp towards where their make shift gallows await. The pass Kate Middleton as she descends the ramp. Kate has removed her ball gown and is in training gear but she’s left on her pointed leather shoes – the reason for that? They are steel toe capped! She blows a kiss to the rest of the winning team as she enters the cage and a five mionute counter appears on the big screen. In the time since the bell rang Jennifer Lawrence has barely moved, she took some hellacious treatment in the War Games match and by the time Kate has walked over to her all she had managed to do was lift her completely covered in blood face up off the floor. All that did however was to put her head at the perfect level for Kate to swing her foot at and connect with her head!

It was hardly the hardest kick in the world (The Duchess was hardly set out for a fighting life) but in her weakened state and those enforced shoes it was more than enough to knock the young American actress spark out, coughing up a tooth that had been knocked loose. Kate then spent a minute lifting and rolling Jennifer into the ring and the next minute kicking and stamping all over her body, then leaning down, lifting up her face by her blood soaked hair and trash talking to her lifeless face before spitting in it then spending the last thirty seconds or so posing with her foot on top of her rival making a fake 30 second pinfall to show her dominance. It would be quite the humiliation for Jennifer made all the worse as her team were standing outside the cage frustrated that all their efforts to get this situation were going to absolute waste.

As the buzzer sounded for the end of the five minutes Kate Middleton left the cage untouched, leaving Jennifer Lawrence flat on her back in a pool of her own blood unmoving. Other members of the Royal Family came to the cage to escort Kate back up the ramp where a tearful Elizabeth Hurley was standing on a chair, noose around her neck, Eva Green ensuring she didn’t escape. Kate took a microphone and spoke.

“I warned you the penalty of letting me down.”

And with that Kate kicked the chair out from under Liz to hang her by the neck. That brought more security out to rescue her before the damage was too significant and by the time the PPV faded to black there were EMT’s attending to both Elizabeth Hurley and Jennifer Lawrence.

*

IN THE AFTERNMATH….

For a few weeks there was no sign of Jennifer Lawrence in the Federation, either through her physical condition or sheer embarrassment at what had happened when she had finally got time 1-on-1 with The Duchess. Kate meantime, was all over TV boasting about how she had dominated J-Law in the cage and decreeing that Elizabeth Hurley was done with the Royal Family and if she ever showed her face again she would pay the penalty.

At a special Network show several things happened to shape the next PPV “QUEEN OF THE RING” and several matches were signed. A brief description of the show follows.

MILEY CYRUS v. CHRISTINA MILIAN – Miley dominates and easily beats the debuting Christina, in the process acting like quite the nasty racist bitch and grabbing the microphone after (while standing over the pinned Christina) and calling out Nicki Minaj, of course Nicki runs out and the two get into a heated brawl all around ringside that only ends when Miley has had enough and runs off.

KALEY CUOCO & MELISSA RAUCH v. SOPHIE TURNER & MAISIE WILLIAMS – There’s a big shock here as Maisie and Sophie get a win here thanks to interference from Jennifer Aniston which causes Melissa to be pinned by Maisie. During the bout though Kaley looked good and back to her best and afterwards she swears that she’ll get Jennifer Aniston for good at the next PPV.

BEYONCÉ & LADY GAGA v. JENNIFER LOPEZ & IGGY AZALEA - This is a great tag team match that is all action and loads of near falls that J-Lo gets the pin over Gaga in with her feet illegally on the ropes for leverage. Both J-Lo and Beyoncé are showing signs of fatigue from their war at War Games and it’s their partners that do much of the work. After it’s announced that given how their previous match finished their re-match for the World Title will be a Last Woman Standing match.

In an interview segment Kim Kardashian reveals the newest backstage interviewer on the roster seeing as Kate Upton is no more, it’s Kim’s sister Kylie Jenner! The crowd aren’t too pleased with this but the two sisters couldn’t care and chat inanely.

Lastly, in her first appearance since WAR GAMES, JENNIFER LAWRENCE v. NATALIE DORMER, Jennifer won a hard hitting encounter and after the match got on the microphone and laid down a challenge to Kate Middleton, who eventually appeared on the stage. Jen wanted another shot at The Duchess, Kate reminded her she’s had a shot and got thoroughly humiliated. Jen called Kate a coward and said that she’d take any match against Kate at the next PPV. After more verbals Kate Middleton agreed but then announced it would be a 6 woman tag match, the loser would have to submit to an evening of humiliation from the winner and that her partners would be EVA GREEN AND RHONDA ROUSEY!

The news of EVA’s first match and the signing of the sexy MMA star meant that the show ended with Jenifer Lawrence having got what she wanted, a promise of her mortal enemy in a match but had she bitten off more than she could chew?