WAR GAMES

By DARK CLOUD

*

We open to a cheering crowd in the arena and they cheer even more as the new majority shareholder of the Federation, Stephanie McMahon emerges on the ramp, flanked by Rhonda Rousey, Alexa Bliss, Charlotte Flair and Sacha Banks. It’s quite the entourage. Clearly Steph is expecting trouble tonight. The statuesque brunette allows the crowd to calm before lifting the microphone to her mouth.

“Thank you! And Welcome to War Games! The first PPV that I have booked. Tonight you are going to see lots of great acti…”

She is cut off as Kate Middleton emerges, flanked by her teammates for tonight’s War Games match, Eva Green, Pippa Middleton, Meghan Markle and Lena Headey. Kate, mic in hand, goes right up to Stephanie and they go nose to nose. The crowd love it.

Kate lifts her microphone and her plumy, posh English voice begins to speak.


“Well excuse me Stephanie but I’ve got ….”

She gets no further as more music hits and Elizabeth Hurley leads out her team for the War Games tonight, Catherine Zeta Jones, Hayley Atwell, Gillian Anderson and Lucy Liu. It’s a crowded, chaotic scene and in danger of getting out of control with the two opposing teams pushing and shoving until Stephanie McMahon gets the mic and virtually screams for attention. With impressive force she demands that everyone except Kate and Elizabeth get to the back. With Rhonda, Alexa and Sasha backing her up the two teams reluctantly obey leaving just the teams captains standing either side of Steph.

“Right. Elizabeth you will call the toss. The winner of the coin toss will gain the advantage for their team in the War Games match.”

Glaring at each other Kate and Liz watch the coin as it flies and Liz Hurley shouts out “heads” before Steph grabs it then reveals to them and the camera it was heads. Liz smirks and Stephanie has one last announcement.

“Oh one last thing ladies. You two will be the first two combatants in the cage, as captains you will lead things off.”

The crowd cheers, Liz continues to grin while Kate Middletown’s fumes and tries to argue with her co-owner of the Federation.

*

The first competitor of the evening to make their way down the entrance ramp to the squared circle is backstage interviewer and part time fighter, Kim Kardashian. Kim is a definite heel interviewer giving the good girls mean questions and snarky responses. Well last month she went too far and ended up being dumped in the sea by movie superstar, Gal Gadot. It shocked everyone when Kim challenged Gal to a match because, despite her demeanour Kim was hardly a great fighter. Still, as she walks down the ramp she looks extremely cocky in a very revealing black, one piece swimsuit that is more like a bit of dental floss. Maybe that confidence is because she is seconded by Kylie Jenner in a sexy Wonder Woman outfit, no doubt worn to rile up Kim’s opponent tonight. The smug, self-satisfied sisters’ strut down the ring to a chorus of boos that Kim doesn’t even seem to hear as she busies herself taking selfies and posting them on her social media. The buxom, 37 year old brunette teases the crowd as she bends to enter through the ropes and smirks at them. That smirk disappears as Hans Zimmer’s atmospheric Wonder Woman theme hits and the athletic Miss Gadot strides out in her outfit from the film.

The 33 year old Israeli bounds down the aisle and slides into the ring where Kim and Kylie try to attack her before the announcer can even announce the participants!

The sisters punch, slap and stamp on Gal as the referee gives up trying to stop them and signals for the bell to be rung. Kim hauls Gal up by her hair and whips her to the ropes and links arms with Kylie to deliver a clothesline. But Gal ducks beneath it, hits the far ropes and rebounds with a spear on Kylie that nearly halves the younger woman and sends her rolling out under the bottom rope to the floor. Having evaded much of the spear’s momentum, Kim was up and on Gal, clubbing her in the back and shoving her into a corner and hitting a couple of knife edge chops. Kim stopped when the Israeli actress literally took the chop and laughed in Kardashian’s face and urged her to do it again!

The crowd roared their approval as Gal not only took the blow but another then another before grabbing Kim and shoving her in the corner and absolutely rocking her with a series of huge uppercuts to her huge chest that knocked her massive tits right out of her tiny swimsuit. Gal laughed and grabbed the thin material and delivered a killer wedgie on her overmatched foe that had Kim Kardashian on tiptoes before Gal ran across the ring and threw Kim over the top rope and to the floor on top of a just recovering Kylie Jenner. The remainder of Kim’s flimsy outfit stayed in Gals hand and Kim was completely nude (hardly her first time in public).

As Kim and Kylie reeled at ringside and unsteadily got to their feet, Gal ran the ropes and exploded through them to fly out and nail the sisters with a suicide dive through the ropes flattening them both. Gal got up and soaked in a huge ovation. But at that moment, as Gal had her arms up and leaned on the crowd barrier a tall woman wearing sunglasses in the front row grabbed her by the hair, spun her around and pulled Gal’s face down with vicious power, smashing it into the top of the metal barrier!

In the attack the woman’s glasses and hat come off and she is revealed as Charlize Theron, making a return to the Federation. Security rush out to get her out of there but the damage is done and Gal lies unmoving on the floor. Laughing, though still unsteady on her feet, Kim staggers over to where her opponent lies and with assistance from Kylie, pulls Gal up and manages to roll her prone form into the ring. A stark naked Kim Kardashian re-enters the ring and carefully positions her large ass over Gal’s face and drops it, perfectly smothering the younger woman’s nose and mouth (and most of the rest of her pretty face) under her giant ass.

Gal’s arms come up weakly a couple of times trying to get out but she quickly fades and seconds late the referee lifts said arm once, twice and three times before signalling for the bell.

The winner, in a massive upset , in 4:33 is KIM KARDASHIAN, and to further Gal Gadot’s humiliation Kim slides back so that her bare pussy now hovers over Gal’s face and frigs herself furiously ejaculating wildly all over Gal’s unmoving face on live PPV!

*

Backstage, with Kim Kardashian competing, we have two newbies to the Federation helping out with interviews. Lily James and Amanda Seyfried are blonde, bubbly and excited to be here and they are also about to speak with the World Tag Team Champions and their happy-go-lucky attitude is about to be severely challenged.

“Wow Amanda! Look where we are! And look, it’s our first interviewees Jennifer Anniston and Megan Fox.”

The champs enter the picture and treat the young blondes to a pair of icy cold stares. Amanda doesn’t seem to notice and asks her first question.

“Hey champs, tonight you are defending against Kasey Cuoco and a mystery partner...uuurgh!”

Amanda’s question comes to an abrupt halt as Megan Fox hooks her hand around her throat and forces the blonde up against the wall. Lily moves to help but Jennifer slugs her in the gut then drives her knee into her downturned face.

“Who is it? Who the fuck is it? Who is so fucking stupid to help that blonde bimbo? Do you two sluts know? Tell me! TELL ME!!”

Megan sounds psychotically angry and there is no mistaking the threat in her voice. Amanda is choking but Megan does not relent, instead only breaking the hold to fire in a punch to the young blondes gut. With the two debut interviewers down Jennifer addresses the camera.

“It doesn’t matter who it is because tonight she won’t make a difference and  you, Kaley, follow in the footsteps of Angelina Jolie, Melissa Rauch and Jennifer Love Hewitt - beaten, broken and forcibly retired!”

*

Next out to the ring is a stern looking Beyoncé Knowles. It’s an unusual position for the former World Champion to be fighting so early on in a card, she’s been used to being at the top end of events for so long now. But that humiliation is nothing compared to being pissed on by four separate women at the last PPV and the ass raping she took from Taylor Swift at the two previous shows. Yes, it’s been a terrible run for Beyoncé and now she knows who to blame – Rita Ora and Rihanna. Rihanna who she thought was one of her best friends but turned on her last month. Beyoncé has served notice that Rihanna will pay for her betrayal but tonight she gets Rita in the ring and with it now revealed that is was Rita who hit Beyoncé with a cattle prod that led to her losing the World Heavyweight title there is some major payback owed.

The 5’7” 36 year old is clad in a fierce black PVC bra top and tight shorts and barely acknowledges the fans support so focused is she on revenge. The younger and shorter Rita Ora enters to one of her hits and smirks as she slowly walks down the ramp. She is clad in a snakeskin bikini and the crowd let her know what they think of her actions of late with a torrent of boos and abuse. Someone even chucks a drink at her and Rita stops to remonstrate with the fan. As she does Beyoncé has had enough and exits the ring, runs up the ramp and leaps on Rita with a Thesz press and starts whaling away with a series of punches. From there she grabs Rita’s hair and uses it to lift her head up then smash it down onto the metal ramp again and again. Finally the referee exits the ring himself and appeals for Beyoncé to bring the action to the ring but she shoves him off the ramp and lifts Rita by the hair, tucks her head between her thighs and prepares to powerbomb her on the metal ramp. But before she can Rihanna runs down the ramp and nails Beyoncé with a big clothesline that sends her flat on her back on the ramp.

Then together Rihanna and Rita lift Beyoncé in the same position and double team powerbomb her on the ramp with brutal impact. The referee sees this from the side of the ramp and remonstrates with them but gets kicked in the face by Rita Ora for his efforts while Rihanna kicks Beyoncé over onto her back before straddling her and hooking in a camel clutch move, really pulling back on Beyoncé’s back. Rita turns and delivers a few stiff kicks into Beyonce’s exposed face before hoping off the ramp to gather up a steel, folding chair from ringside and stalking up the ramp to stand over Beyoncé and Rihanna ready to bring the chair down on her opponent’s unprotected skull.

Before she does though Lady Gaga runs down the ramp and grabs the chair from behind, preventing this heinous assault and instead rams the chair into Rita’s gut before swinging it at Rihanna as she abandons her camel clutch move.

Gaga is fired up and swings the chair wildly, forcing both heels off the ramp. They regroup and retreat, making gestures and threats at Beyoncé and Gaga. From nowhere Beyoncé leapt off the cage and landed on Rihanna and Rita and got up swinging punches and kicks. Gaga ran down the ramp then alongside it just in time for the chair still in her hand to smack into Rita’s head.



The crowd are going wild at this action and just get louder when they see Rita Ora has been busted open and is bleeding from her forehead. Beyoncé smiles at that and gets up to pound bare knuckle punch after bare knuckle punch into her enemy’s skull.



Gaga is poised for another chair shot to Rihanna but the black singer fires an uppercut right between the blondes thighs to stop her dead.



Security are out and trying to get these wild women separated but they break free and they end up brawling through fire doors and jnto the backstage areas. Members of the crowd cheer as their trips to the back are rewarded with the continuation of this battle.



Rihanna grabs Gaga and propels her head first into a cupboard door then turns to run and drive a knee into the back of Beyoncé just as she was about to DDT Rita on the concrete floor. Instead it’s Rita and Rihanna who pick Beyoncé up and double suplex her down and through a concession stand.



The heels have had enough though and get out of there and the camera follows them to the car park where they get the hell out of there as Gaga crawls over to check on Beyoncé.



The match never got started so is called a no contest but be in no doubt these bitches are in no way finished with each other.

*

Backstage, Melissa Joan Hart has microphone in hand and enters the dressing room of World Champion Taylor Swift. Taylor is standing with her belt draped over her shoulder laughing with her BFF Selena Gomez, who has her Junior Heavyweight Championship belt over her shoulder. Both have matches later tonight.

“Taylor, in less than a couple of hours you will defend that title in the confines of a ring with barbed wire ropes, a brutal match, against Katy Perry. Are you worried for your safety tonight?”

Taylor treats MJH to a condescending sneer before answering.

“Wow! What a dumb question Mel! I mean, wow, can you even believe this old bimbo Sel? Hello? Did you not see last month’s PPV? Yes? And what was the final scene? That fat has-been Katy Perry being carted out of the arena bleeding like the stuck pig she is. So why would I be worried? Tonight I finish the job, and if you thought that cow bled a lot last month then wait until tonight. Oh and little exclusive for you Mel, there has been an extra stip added at my request. I’ll let you try to find out what it is.”

Taken by surprise Melissa soon recovers and turns to Selena to quiz her about her upcoming challenge.

“Ah, Ok. Selena if I can ask about your match tonight. I mean, you issued an open challenge for anyone to come forward and challenge for the Junior Heavyweight title tonight. Have you heard anything to suggest who, if anyone might come forward?”

“Ha! I wouldn’t be surprised if nobody had the guts to step up. No I’ve heard nothing but it doesn’t matter because if anyone does I will beat them with ease.”

“There are rumours that Ariana Grande is in the arena tonight, could the former champion take you up?”

“Oh Please! That little slut was squashed twice by me, if she wants a third time then fine by me. First I took her belt, then I took her hair, if she’s dumb enough to try again maybe this time I’ll take her life!”

*

Next a lengthy video package plays detailing the history between out next two combatants – Ariel Winter and Sarah Hyland. The sexy young actresses star in hit comedy Modern Family and were inseparable when they debuted in the Federation but over time resentment grew and Ariel turned on Sarah and they have clashed a couple of times already leading up to this a definitive end to their feud. In this match no outside interference is allowed, the only way to win is to make your opponent verbally submit and the loser will also be led over to a tattooist chair beside the ramp and will be strapped to it and have the tattoo of the winners choosing inked on their body. Afterwards the tattoo artist gets to fuck the loser on live PPV.

So the highest stakes are in play and that is reflected in the serious look on Sarah Hyland’s face as she emerges on the ramp and walks down it wearing a light blue, string bikini. The 27 year old looks every inch the sex kitten she undoubtedly is and it would be a real shame to see her sexy body ruined by whatever tattoo Ariel might dream up.

Once Sarah is in the ring Ariel emerges, the younger, bustier brunette is wearing a black two piece that struggles to contain her huge breasts. She takes off her glasses and throws them down as she marches determinedly to the ring. Though she does pause momentarily as she passes the tattoo artist and his chair.

With so much at stake and knowing each other so well (both as partners and opponents) it is a slow start to the fight once the referee signals for the bell. They circle each other and stare intently seeking an opening. They lock up and struggle for an advantage. Sarah is an inch taller and seven years older but Ariel has a pronounced weight advantage and neither seems able to make much impression on the other as they grapple in centre ring. That is until their faces come up and Ariel takes her cue and drives her forehead into Sarah’s face with a sharp, stabby headbutt. It’s not a great connection and didn’t have a lot of power but the surprise aspect made Sarah drop her guard and allowed Ariel to follow up with a big boot to her gut. One running knee lift later and Sarah Hyland is flat on her back. Ariel drops for a quick attempt at an armbar that quickly is escaped but the look on Sarah’s face tells us she realises how close she was to that most horrible of fates awaiting the loser.

Ariel stamps her heel down a few times on her downed ‘sister’ before dragging her up by her light brown hair and whipping her into the ropes and looking to nail her with a clothesline upon her return, However, Sarah instead leaps up, hooks Ariel’s outstretched arm and flicks her legs up to grapevine her other one and rolls her over into a pining combination that the referee ignores but from the position this time it’s Sarah who tries to manoeuvre her position into a form of crossface. Ariel struggles and rolls out of the ring to contemplate how close to disaster she had just been. Seeing her outside and distracted Sarah ran the ropes as if for a big dive but at the last second hooked them and stopped herself as Ariel had seen her attack and ducked. Instead Sarah did a baseball slide under the bottom rope to knock Ariel down before running the length of the apron and jumping off with a double axe handle to Ariel’s head. Rather than pose she might normally have done, Sarah squatted over Ariel and delivered a series of hard punches to her forehead then lifted her up by the hair and Irish whipped the raven haired beauty into the metal crowd barrier. Sarah then ran across the same space, hopped up the metal stairs in the corner of the ring to get elevation and dove down with an attempted clothesline. She missed, or rather Ariel slid down and avoided the contact and Sarah smashed chest first into the crowd barrier.

It took Ariel Winter a few moments to recover but when she did Sarah was still draped awkwardly across the barrier and easy prey to a few clubbing forearms to the back of Sarah’s neck before peeling her off and ramming her at full pelt shoulder first into the metal corner post, hitting with a solid sounding thud. Sarah immediately cried out in anguish and she felt at her now dangling arm. In a submission decided contest having an obviously damaged shoulder was not good news. And Ariel meant to take full advantage, wrapping Sarah’s injured arm around the ringpost and pulling as hard as she could on it with Sarah screaming out. Ariel finished by kicking her opponents arm and literally dragging her into the ring by the arm before twisting Sarah’s injured left arm and applying a standing arm bar and demanding the ref ask Sarah if she submitted.

Sarah was clearly in absolute agony and very nearly crying but she shook her head and spat out “No!” repeatedly. Eventually Ariel released her hold and again kicked Sarah in her arm before pulling her out of the ring and jamming Sarah’s arm right up behind her back in a chicken wing and marching her over to where the tattoo artist and his chair waited. While still twisting Sarah’s arm for all she was worth Ariel asked the fat, old man.

“You want to cop an early feel of the merchandise?”

He did not need to be asked twice and pulled aside Sarah Hyland’s bikini top and fondled her pert little breasts on live PPV. The camera were in close for this humiliation and Ariel stared into the nearest on and said.

“Guess what your tattoo will be Sarah? The word “SLUT” right across your slutty forehead! Ha! Now give up!”

Perhaps inspired by this information Sarah kneed the tattoo guy in the balls and then lifted her legs up to push off from his chest and drive backwards causing both her and Ariel to fall backwards on the floor and giving Sarah’s arm some badly needed rest.

That at least got the crowd back into the contest but it was still Ariel who was in control and she was to her feet first and again kicked Sarah’s dangling arm a couple of times before rolling her back into the ring. She was getting a little frustrated now at her inability to secure a submission and wasted effort slapping Sarah’s face a few times before lifting and bodyslamming her. With Sarah down Ariel straddled her chest and lowered her massive boobies down onto Sarah’s face, thinking that if she could knock her out then she could really set up to injure that arm and force a submission from Sarah. However, as Ariel’s big tits just about engulfed Sarah’s face she resorted to sinking her teeth into the nearest tit and biting it for all she was worth. Ariel screamed and tried to get away but Sarah’s teeth gripped hard and it took a good poke to her eyes to force the break. Ariel staggered away cupping her injured boob as Sarah gingerly got to her feet too, still protecting her dangling arm. They came together in the middle of the ring and started flinging hard chops at each other as the crowd roared them on

Once again Ariel managed to gain the upper hand by targeting Sarah's injured arm and flung her into the ropes before jumping up to try for a high dropkick. She missed, as Sarah managed to snag the top rope at the last second and in a flash she was over at Ariel and grabbed her legs, grapevine them and flipped her over into a Sharpshooter and leaned back with all her strength. The crowd roared her on and Ariel's face was suddenly in pain and worried. But Sarah's weakened arm let her down and Ariel managed to power out of the submission hold and scramble away. Sarah followed but Ariel grabbed her by her hand on her injured arm and neatly hip tossed her lighter co-star over the top rope but kept hold of Sarah's hand meaning she was left dangling by her injured limb and crying out in obvious distress.

"Ask her!!" demanded Ariel and the referee stepped through the ropes to as if Sarah Hyland submitted. Through real tears Sarah saw the tattoo artist waiting and shook her head and desperately reached out her other hand and caught hold of the front of Ariel's bra top and in fact ended up tearing it off, leaving the raven haired beauty topless.

In a split second, just as she must surely submit to the excruciating pain in her arm Sarah saw a final chance and swung towards Ariel, opened her jaws and once again sunk her teeth right onto the tit she had bitten before. Instantly Ariel screamed and released her hold on Sarah's hand, but Sarah did not release her jaw and instead hung from Aerial's boob only by her teeth for a few moments before finally letting go.

It was devastating and Ariel howled in agony and clutched her boobs and rolled about, slapping the mat in pain. Seeing her chance Sarah got back in the ring and kicked Ariel onto her back before dropping down on her and sinking the fingers of her good hand onto Ariel's bitten and bleeding nipple and first pulled it then twisted it with all the power she could muster. Ariel screamed and screamed and slapped at the mat and after ten seconds of having her nipple virtually twisted off she gave in and cried out.

"I Submit! I Give! I give up! Stop! Stop! Please!"

Sarah twisted just a bit longer before finally releasing her hold and slowly got up favouring her left arm and took the chance as she got up of spitting fully in her defeated opponent's face.

The winner in 13:14 is SARAH HYLAND, and she takes the crowds applause and drags Ariel one handed over to the tattoo artist and his waiting chair. Sarah grabs a microphone and says.

"Better strap her down!”

Sarah smiled wickedly as she spoke into the mic with undisguised relish.

“What I want is a tramp stamp for her, just on her lower back so it’ll be visible when Ariel wears those trashy cut off tops she so likes. And what I want it to say is “WIDE LOAD – FAT BITCH”.

The crowd gave a cheer but it was muted as they recognised the fat shaming element of the tattoo and some maybe thought it was too far for Sarah to go. Ariel howled as she heard this and the artist set to work with his now buzzing instrument. The camera focussed on Sarah grinning from ear to ear watching her opponent suffer this horrible fate that could so easily have been hers.

*

We go backstage where Katy Perry is standing with Melissa Joan Hart ready to interview her. Katy looks deadly serious and has a large patch still on her forehead where Taylor Swift ran a cheese grater across it at the last PPV.

“Katy Perry, tonight you get a second shot at Taylor Swift and her World Heavyweight Title. That match, later on tonight, will take place in a ring where the ropes have been taken down and replaced with deadly strands of barbed wire. More than that I’ve just found out that this match has an additional stipulation whereby the loser will be subject to whatever humiliation or torture the winner gives them for an additional 30 minutes in the ring after the match. To say this is a big match is something of an understatement. Katy, what are your thoughts at this time?”

Katy stares determinedly into the camera and slowly speaks.

“Taylor you brought what happens tonight upon yourself. You thought it was OK to take a cheese grater across my head? You sing about us having bad blood? Well tonight bitch it’s going to be your blood spilled as I’m going to coat you in your own plasma. And after, you know how you like taking that obscene dildo of yours and fucking those you’ve just cheated to beat? I’m going to find it and in that very ring, with you bleeding like a stuck pig, I am going to butt fuck you harder than you can ever imagine!”

The screen fades to black.

*

Back in the arena and as her music hits out struts Selena Gomez in trademark shades, leather jacket and her belt draped over her shoulder. As she strolls down the ramp towards the ring she casts a contemptuous glace down at where Ariel Winter lies on the chair with the old guy working away at the ink on her ass. That sight seems to bring a chuckle to Selena’s mouth. She steps into the ring besides the ring announcer and takes the microphone off him to address everyone.

“So like last month after I beat yet another pathetic jobber in Camila Cabello, having previously destroyed that no talent Ariana Grande I proclaimed there was no competition for me for this belt. And I said I would leave an open invitation for anyone to come out here tonight and challenge me for it. So, uh, anybody got the guts?”

There is a buzz in the arena as the crowd speculate and crane their necks to all look towards the entranceway.

After it seemed no one was going to come out suddenly the song “Wrecking Ball” hits and out strides Miles Cyrus purposefully. The crowd popped a bit but didn’t know how to react to the racist redneck especially after her feud last time with fan fave Nicki Minaj. But she headed to the ring and walked right up to Selena and mouthed off and pointed to the belt.

Selena didn’t back down, instead she asked, “You wanna go? Let’s do it. Ring the bell!”

So the ref signalled for a match to start and as soon as it did Miley went nose to nose with Selena and then the two of them engaged in a long, slobbery French kiss in the middle of the ring! Miley’s hand went under her tiny denim skirt and she began playing with herself as Selena pushed her onto her back, straddled her and got the nominal three count before leaning down and snogging her some more. The two were laughing about it and the crowd reacted by booing and chucking garbage into the ring, feeling, rightly, ripped off. Not that Selena nor Miley could care less, they fooled around some more before getting up and posing in the ring, then as they exited the ring a tall figure emerged on the entrance ramp and marched towards them. The camera zoomed in and we could see it was Sophie Turner, the statuesque red head looking deadly serious. The 22 year old Game Of Thrones star had been a heel so far in the Federation but literally anyone that would put a stop to Selena and Miley’s childish antics was going to get cheered so Sophie got the kind of reception she wasn’t used to. The leggy English actress lifted a mic to her mouth and spoke in strong tones.

“If you two bimbos are quite finished I want to take you up on your challenge Selena. I want a title match right now in that very ring!”

Suddenly the smug, mocking look was wiped from Selena Gomez’s face and she kicked the ropes and shouted back “No!, I’ve had a match already!”.

That didn’t halt Sophie progress to the ring though and she walked up the ring steps and stepped through the ropes to face up to the champion. While she was doing that though Miley had slid out of the ring and she sneaked back in behind Sophie, sunk to her knees and delivered a vicious uppercut that landed right between the red-head’s legs. Selena used the microphone in her hand to smack against Sophie’s skull and spat out.

“OK, you’re on, ring the bell ref!”

She followed that up by running the ropes to return with a flying knee right into Miss Turner’s face as the bell rang. And now we got to see the fighting Selena Gomez as she straddled Sophie’s chest and pounded punch after punch into her face, battering the younger girl. Then she turned her over and viciously rubbed her face right into the mat and ground it back and forth before picking her up and slamming her down. Then Selena scaled a turnbuckle and leapt off for a splash but at the last moment Sophie got her knees up and Selena dove right onto them. As Selena rolled on the mat Sophie slowly got to her feet and hauled Selena up by her hair and flung her into a corner then lifted her long left leg and jammed it into Selena’s throat and choked her with her foot, pressing hard as the brunette flailed her arms and legs uselessly due to the span of Sophie’s leg. She kept up the pressure for nearly a minute before relenting and dropping her leg but then ramming her shoulder forward multiple times into Selena’s injured mid section. Sophie then pulled the champion towards her by her hair and hooked in a brutally tight looking bear hug that after a few moments of squeezing the hell out of Selena she turned into a high impact, overhead belly-to-belly suplex that got her a close two count.

Outside Miley Cyrus was slapping the apron and distracting the referee and generally being a pain. Sophie was momentarily distracted by Miley’s drunk ranting and swiping her arm under the ropes vaguely at Sophie and she moved over to the ropes to try to kick her away. Miley caught her ankle and held it, the referee demanded she release it while Sophie tried to pull it free and seconds later Selena Gomez scrambled to her feet, saw her opportunity and delivered a chop block to the side of Sophie’s standing leg that buckled it in a horrible looking way. Sophie screamed out and collapsed to the mat grabbing for her knee. And now Selena set to work with the vicious intensity that had come to mark her tenure in the Federation. She drove her own knee down again and again into Sophie clearly badly injured knee joint. Then the native Texan placed her foot on the back of Sophie’s knee and lifts both up and stamps down with all her weight. She does this three times and by the time she relents there are actual tears in the young red head’s eyes. Not that Selena cares. Instead she wraps on an Indian leg lock that twists Sophie Turner’s injured leg in a way that God did not intend and applies as much pressure as she can. It’s too much and Sophie screams and cries as she slaps the mat submitting.

The winner in 5:41 is SELENA GOMEZ. But that’s not enough for Selena and she keeps the hold on and calls out for Miley to get a chair. Between them they push the referee out of the way and wrap the chair around Sophie’s knee and as Miley holds her on the mat Selena climbs to the top turnbuckle and jumps down with a double foot stamp on the chair wrapped limb eliciting the loudest scream yet from their hapless victim. Selena leaves with her belt over her shoulder, cuddling Miley Cyrus and laughing as EMT’s rush out to aid a clearly badly injured Sophie Turner. Chewing bubble gum Selena speaks into a camera.

“And that’s what happens to anyone dumb enough to challenge me!”

*

Backstage and interviewer Cara Delavigne is joined at this time by Jennifer Lawrence and her friends, Amy Adams, Emma Stone and Scarlett Johannsson, and Cara asks the question we’ve all been wanting to ask.

“Jennifer Lawrence just who has been releasing all these private clips of you acting like a porn slut?”

J-Law gives the interviewer a look like she wants to slap her but restrains herself.

“Well Cara. First of all those were private recordings and clearly someone with a lot of smarts and access had got hold of them. And when I get hold of whoever is doing this to me I will make them pay!”

“And do you think that individual is Jennifer Lopez?”

“She claims not, but that stuck up bitch is a born liar so who knows. What I do know is that she got involved with me last month and I showed her not to mess with me and she’ll get the message again tonight. And if I find out she is responsible for publicly humiliating me these past few months then…. Well let’s just say it won’t be pretty. And these fine ladies have my back don’t you?”

Her friends agree and slap Jennifer on the back and encourage her. They are right behind her for this huge upcoming match.

*

Rap music hits in the arena and out onto the ramp comes 28 year old Australian, Iggy Azalea. The 5’10” blonde looks pretty fucking good in a tiny yellow string bikini and she walks to the ring for the next match. It’s a re-match of the war on the shore at the last PPV where Iggy eventually lost a falls count anywhere on the beach match to Nicki Minaj.

Iggy looks amazing and clearly knows it as she flaunts her body strolling to the ring and getting in. Then Nicki’s music hits but to a huge ovation it is Ariana Grande that comes out. Her hair (lost in her feud with Selena Gomez) is growing back nicely. Ariana applauds the fans then bows as Nicki comes out then the two cuddle, Ariana wishes her great friend luck before Nicki runs to the ring. Nicki is wearing a pink string bikini that barely covers her personal areas.

Neither rapper waits for the referee and are straight into a big slug fest as they exchange big punches in centre ring. Despite her height disadvantage it is Nicki that gets on top, hitting four unanswered blows until Iggy falls through the ropes to the floor. Nicki follows her out though, jumping from the apron to club the blonde on her back, sending Iggy colliding with the announcer’s desk.

As Nicki moves in Iggy lashes out blind with her foot with a mule kick. That stopped the black girl and allowed Iggy to grab a monitor off the announcers table and swing it right into the side of Nicki’s skull!

Oh! That sends the black woman down and the blonde is on her in a flash, jumping on her back and smacking Nicki’s head into the floor a couple of times before literally ripping off Nicki’s flimsy bikini top to leave her topless. Iggy then pulls her up by her hair and rams her face first into the metal corner post then does the same into the top of the crowd barrier. The referee is shouting at them to get back in the ring but that doesn’t look like happening soon as Iggy tries to lift Nicki up for a suplex on the floor but somehow she blocks it and hoists Iggy up instead and drops her down again, crotching her atop the metal crowd barrier. Nicki steps back and clotheslines Iggy from her painful position, knocking the blonde down and into the crowd. Nicki reaches over to pull her back by Iggy’s bikini top and it snaps too, leaving her topless too. Finally, Nicki drags Iggy back to the ring and rolls her in under the bottom rope.

And with Iggy flat on her back Nicki sees her chance and plants her big, black ass on the Australian’s face going early for an ass smother much to the crowds delight. Iggy desperately wriggles out of there just in time and disgustedly wipes at her face as she kneels by the ropes. Nicki’s back over to her ripping Iggy up her long hair, Iggy reaches out and attaches her claws into Nicki’s hair and we have an old fashioned hair tearing catfight in the ring at sees them fall to the mat and roll around all the time pulling viciously at the other’s tresses.

The hair tearing only came to an end when Iggy raked her nails down Nicki’s face. That gave the Australian an advantage she kept by slashing her long nails all over Minaj’s big, black boobs, scarring them up before driving a few punches into them. Iggy slid down her body and as she went she pulled down Nicki’s tiny G String leaving her buck naked. With that Iggy scratched her nails on her opponent’s clit that had Nicki squealing and writhing in agony.

Iggy got up and pulled Nicki with her and pushed her to the ropes and positioned the underside of her boobs over the top rope and then cruelly pushed and pulled her along them delivering a heap of nasty rope burns. From that position it was easy for Iggy to wrap her arm around Nicki’s throat from behind and synch in a sleeper hold, looking to finish this battle sooner rather than later.

But Nicki was ready and reached back to hold Iggy and dropped down so that the shorter singers head bounced up hard into Iggy’s jaw as both fell on their backs on the canvas. Iggy crawled away and Nicki reached for her, hooked her string panties and ended up pulling them off. She caught up to Iggy and forced them into the blondes mouth before standing back and kicking her in the side if the head. From there Nicki lowered her huge tits over Iggy’s face in a boob smother to a big cheer from the crowd. Somehow Iggy escaped coughing out her panties but Nicki grabbed her threw her into the ropes and hit her with a Thesz press on her return that flattened Iggy and she swiftly scooted forward to press her ass over Iggy’s face and this time there would be no escape as the blonde’s head was completely engulfed and quickly her struggles subsided and the referee eventually lifted Iggy’s arm three times and the referee signalled for the bell.

The winner in 7:52 is NICKI MINAJ and she celebrates by straddling her hated enemy and shaking first her ass in Iggy’s face and then rubbing her ass all over the motionless, humiliated blonde.

*

Backstage now where we find Kate Middleton in deep conversation with her new sister-in-law and teammate in War Games tonight, Meghan Markle. Both brunettes are looking ravishing in expensive, designer dresses with their long dark hair in matching ponytails.

“Meghan, darling, I am so glad you are here in the Federation now. At last I can surround myself with people I trust totally. And I’ll need you all for this atrocity that bitch McMahon has forced me into tonight!”

“Mmm, terrible babe, just an injustice.”

“Yeah, and you know now we are family I will be relying on you in the cage to watch my back, I know you weren’t sure to help me last month in the Cell until the last minute but there needs to be no doubt now OK?”

“Kate, sis? I can call you sis can’t I? Good. You’ve got nothing to worry about from me, I will do my bit in that cage.”

*

Back out in the arena and Ariel Winter has been tattooed with the words Sarah Hyland chose after their match and now the long haired actress is face down on the chair, ass in the air and is being ass fucked my the tattoo guy live on PPV. He’s fat, bald, old and ugly and is pounding into the young starlet for all he is worth. The crowd seem a little uncomfortable about it all.

Out down the ramp comes Sarah. She’s showered and cleaned up since winning the war earlier on and is dressing in a sexy, short red dress and high heels. She waves to the crowd for a moment then looks at Ariel’s plight and can’t stop herself laughing. She walks down to right beside them and takes out her phone and starts filming the rape, getting it right up into Ariel’s crying face to really capture the moment. Sarah leans in and whispers something to the guy and moments later her pulls out of Ariel’s ass, moves around, and forces his dick into her throat before he goes back and finishes off by fucking her in the pussy, clearly cumming inside her and totally unprotected. Sarah has the camera right in Ariel’s face as this happens before she walks away and having started the evening with all cheers there are a few boos for her leaving the arena just for her behaviour since winning. She doesn’t seem to mind though.

*

Just as Sarah exits she is passed by the World Tag Team Champions. Megan Fox and Jennifer Aniston give Sarah a look as they pass her but no more as they make their way to the ring, their title belts around their waists and dressed in matching outfits of denim shorts and white vests.

They storm into the ring and force the ring announcer out and take his microphone. Jennifer snatches it up and speaks.

“Come on then Kaley you dumb, blonde bimbo. Who have you got? Who in this federation is dumb enough to team with you to go against us? I mean we are the people who put Angelina Jolie out of commission for good. We are the ones that retired that big titted slut Jennifer Love Hewitt then made her regret ever crossing us and we are also the ones that crippled your stupid little friend Melissa Rauch last month. We saw the footage of her in the hospital with a neck brace, she sure ain’t gonna be teaming with you any time soon. So come on get out here so we can deal with you like we dealt with them because we promise this is the last time you will step in a ring with us!”

Jennifer tosses the mic aside and she and Megan glare up at the entranceway. The theme tune to “The Big Bang Theory” hits but Kaley Cuoco does not appear for a few moments and when the blonde does step out in a tiny white sting bikini, she is all alone. There had been rumour that no-one was willing to team with Kaley for this match having seen how deadly Aniston and Fox were and how out to hurt Kaley and her friends they were and now it looks like it may be true Kaley, may have to take both bitches on by herself!

The music goes silent and we can hear the Champions goading Kaley, demanding she come down and face them 2-on-1 and it looks like she is going to do just that when, as she is half way down the ramp, the theme music to “Modern Family” hits and out steps Sofia Vergara. The busty Colombian is in a leopard print bikini and she shares an anguished glance towards where Ariel Winter is still lying as she walks down the ramp and stops beside Kaley, speaks to her and then the two sitcom sluts run towards the ring. It seems we do have a normal tag team match after all.

As soon as they were in the ring the two teams hooked up, the referee signalled for the bell as Kaley and Jennifer locked claws and as Sofia blocked a Megan punch and returned one of her own. Sofia followed up with punch after punch and backed Megan into a corner where she squeezed in on her just as Megan bailed out of the ring. In the opposite corner Jennifer Aniston had the upper hand through her usual underhand methods, jamming her finger right into Kaley’s eye, then stamping at the leg that Jennifer broke years before at the start of this long standing feud. With Kaley driven to her knees Jen fired in a couple of punches then knees to her face to get her down on her back before straddling her, tucking Kaley’s arms under her knees then opening up with unprotected bare knuckle punches to the blonde’s face, targeting around her eyes. Sofia checked over her shoulder and saw what was happening and ran over and dragged Jen off by her hair, dragging her across the ring but as Kaley got up we can see that she is already busted open hardway above her left eye, dripping blood down her face.

There’s no semblance of this being a normal tag team encounter and the referee just goes with it, treating the match like a tornado style encounter where all four woman go at it at once.

The busty Colombian hauled Jennifer to her feet and lashed in a vicious knife edge chop that dropped her as she went to pick her up again Megan Fox came at her from behind leaping, hooking her head and driving it forward and into the mat with a surprise bulldog. Almost in one motion Megan got up, ran across the ring and drove the tip of her boot right into Kaley’s busted open forehead. Meantime a recovered Jennifer Aniston was on Sofia and tearing off her bra top to reveal her big breasts, they would be tempting targets for a couple of sadists like the champs.

Megan stamps repeatedly on a downed Kaley Cuoco until the blonde rolls out under the bottom rope and falls hard to the floor. Then Jen calls her partner over and the two have some fun. Jennifer Aniston grips Sofia’s right nipple between thumb and forefinger while Megan does the same to Sofia’s left nipple then both champs pull in opposite directions with all their weight. Sofia shrieks and cries out, her breasts being pulled horrendously. They cross over and try to walk around Sofia, stretching her breasts ways they were not designed to go and eventually combine arms and clothesline her hard to the mat. Megan saw Kaley getting up and ran across the ring to deliver a baseball slide under the bottom rope but Kaley avoided it and as Megan flew out she instead helped her to crash rib first into the crowd barrier. In the ring Aniston was standing over Sofia, standing on her long brown hair and pulling up hard on her nipples trying for a submission.

Outside Kaley pulled Megan’s vest top over her head to blind her and laid in a series of punches, this also exposed Megan’s nice titties but they got a few blows too. Finally Kaley almost hip tossed Megan onto the bottom of the metal ramp and she landed hard on her spine. Then she got in the ring and dropkicked Jennifer from behind making her finally release her death grip of Sofia’s tits. Kaley waited until Jennifer got to her feet then launched herself at her clubbing her with a clothesline from behind that saw both women go flying up and over the top rope to the floor. In the ring Sofia gamely got to her feet and spied where Megan was lying clutching her back outside and went out after her. Both Sofia and Megan being topless makes for quite the sight as the Colombian TV star bends to pick her up and then slams her down hard on the metal ramp.

On the other side of the ring Kaley goes to Irish whip Jen into the ringpost but at the last second Aniston reverses it and it’s the blonde who smashes face first into the unforgiving metal. It’s a sickening impact and Kaley just stays there against the post until she slides down it to her knees, by which time Jennifer Aniston is up and standing behind her with an evil grin on her face as she grabs Kaley’s ponytail and pulls her head back and slams it again and again into the metal. By now Kaley’s face is a really bloody sight which Jennifer clearly relishes, which she shows by leaning down and biting Kaley’s bloody forehead.

Over by the ramp Sofia is dragging Megan up it clearly looking to do more damage but she’s misjudged Miss Fox’s powers of recovery and Megan fires a punch right between Sofia’s legs from behind then hits a drop kick on the ramps that sees Sofia fall off the edge and land hard on the crowd barrier. And then she heads back to the ring. Seconds later she’s standing on the apron above Jennifer and Kaley and smiling at the bloody mess her foe is in. At Megan’s prompting, Jen lift a barely moving Kaley up to the apron and Megan lifts her head between her legs. The crowd get a bad feeling, could Megan Fox deliver a piledriver from the apron to the floor? She doesn’t but what she does is just about as bad as she leaps up and to the side and nails a Pedigree from the apron to the floor, smashing Kaley Cuoco’s poor face into the concrete floor. There’s a sickening thud upon landing.

Jennifer Aniston is standing on the apron now and calls to her partner to pick up Kaley and when she does we can see that the beautiful blondes features are completely obliterated from that move, her nose is surely broken, her eyes are swollen shut and it looks like a couple of teeth are hanging out. She is not moving as Jen tucks her head between her thighs and then lifts her up for a powerbomb from the apron but twists and jumps and ends up powerbombing her right through the announcers desk!

A hush descends over the arena at this show of ultra violence from the Tag Team Champions. We shouldn’t be surprised but yet. Back in the ring Sofia Vergara has staggered back and peers over the top rope to see the destruction her partner lies motionless in. Megan and Jennifer see her and get back in the ring and destroy her too in swift order, finishing Sofia off with a spiked piledriver with Jennifer leaping off the top rope to spike Sofia’s feet down and drive her head into the canvas. Megan rolls over for an easy 1, 2, 3.

The winners in 8:36 and still World Tag Team Champions are MEGAN FOX and JENNIFER ANSITON.

Kaley Cuoco still hasn’t moved and an EMT team run to ringside with a stretcher, which is becoming a familiar sight on these PPV’s after Fox and Aniston have fought.

*

Back in the arena and out comes the much hated Jennifer Lopez. The actress/singer still looks incredible even at 49 and her amazingly lithe body is covered in a sequined, jewel encrusted cat suit and she is wearing a fancy, bejewelled ornate headdress. She is booed all the way down the ramp, yet as much as the fans revile the Latino bitch they hush when she stands in the middle of the ring and bring a microphone up to her lips.

“You know as that dumb, blonde, bimbo Jennifer Lawrence wants to blame me for putting up all these pictures and videos of her acting like a total slut then I got to thinking maybe I should. So here’s a little slideshow I put together especially for her!”

Miss Lopez smirks and points to the giant screen in the arena where a very obviously faked porno picture appears of a porn star in a compromising position with a dog with Jennifer Lawrence’s face stuck on top. After a few moments the screen changes and another fake pic comes up with Jennifer’s face stuck on top of a porn star taking a cock in the mouth and from behind and the actors faces are covered by pictured of J-Law’s older brothers. The final image is of Jennifer’s face stuck on top of a kneeling porn star as a man and a woman piss on her, stuck on them are headshots of Jennifer’s mother and father.

The crowd are stunned and J-Lo stands in the ring laughing but stops abruptly as J-Law charges out and down the ramp, slides in the ring and the two start brawling wildly! In amongst this chaos the referee signals for the bell to ring and we are underway, rather unfortunately the image of Jennifer Lawrence and her parents will stay on the big screen until well into the match. There is over 20 years between these fighting females but you would not know it as they trade blows, both look stunning. J-Law is in a plain, black two piece bikini and just her sheer anger at her opponent gives the eventual advantage her punches going unanswered as she drives Lopez into a corner. Then with her opponent reeling J-Law grabs her opponent’s elaborate outfit by the neck and literally rips it off Jennifer Lopez’s body, stripping her buck naked in the process and ruining a clearly bespoke, expensive cat suit much to the crowd’s approval. But that’s not enough for an enraged Miss Lawrence and she keeps punching Lopez in the face with heavy, clubbing blows that eventually force her to her ass and finally to desperately roll out of the ring to try and escape the battering she is taking.

It does not work because Jennifer Lawrence is out beside her immediately and grabs her long brown hair and uses it to slam Lopez’s face into the crowd barrier again and again as the crowd count along, all the way up to ten.

The crowd were loving J-Law’s ruthless aggression and roared her on as she lifted her older foe up and whipped her towards the large corner, metal steps. But Lopez reversed it at the last moment and it was the blonde that smashed into the steps noisily. Seizing her chance J-Lo ran and drop kicked Lawrence’s back as she knelt motionless against the steps. Lopez was on it now and snarled as she undid her younger opponents top to reveal her big boobs. Then she lifted the top half of the steps and forced J-Law’s tits between it and the bottom half and dropped it, trapping her tits between both halves. And then Jennifer Lopez hopped up and stood on the steps!



Jennifer Lawrence emitted an animalistic cry of agony as her cruel foe began to jump up and down on the steps until she finally overbalanced and fell off. The damage was done though, as Miss Lawrence lifted the metal off her she saw her breasts were badly discoloured and misshapen. Lopez got up and slapped the bruised tits a bit then reversed only to run forward and launch a knee from the steps into her opponents face knocking her down.



It was easy for her now to pull off J-Law’s bottoms and now both megastars were equally naked. Lopez rolled Lawrence into the ring and followed her in and scored the first two count of the bout. Angered at not winning she slapped J-Law a few times then ground her face into the mat then she lifted her up and slammed her down before lowering that famous bronzed ass down on her opponents face!



That could have been that but Jennifer Lawrence had been through a lot in her time in the Federation and was driven by anger and from somewhere she found the strength to push up and power out, shoving Lopez off her and actually through the ropes to the floor. Still she was in bad shape.

Jen Lopez was quickly to her feet, however, and grabbed Lawrence by her hair and physically dragged her to the corner along the mat. She flipped Lawrence onto her front then reached an arm either side of the metal ring post and grabbed hold of a tit apiece then from outside the ring began pulling back with all her strength. This pulled Jennifer Lawrence’s badly damaged tits to an insane degree as they stretched horribly away from her torso. Her face was a mask of absolute agony and she lifted her arm ready to tap out but somehow stopped herself and endured. Angered by that Jennifer Lopez kept a tight hold and lifted her foot to press against the corner post to give her even more leverage. However this extra pressure made her lose grip momentarily and she ended up flying backwards and taking a bump cracking the back of her head on the concrete floor.

So as Jennifer Lawrence lay cradling her aching tits Jennifer Lopez slowly got to her feet and wobbled, and staggered and had to grab onto the crowd barrier to stay up. That bump had clearly rang her bell. Despite her aching chest J-Law saw her chance to get back in the match and forced herself to her feet and as J-Lo reeled back to the ring, Lawrence held the top rope and swung through the ropes with her feet to connect with J-Lo’s head and send her flying into the remaining announcer’s desk. Jennifer Lawrence kept coming out of the ring and landed some hard punches to her foe before hitting a snap DDT on the floor, spiking her skull into the concrete. It took a few moments to roll the 49 year old into the ring and cover her but it looked for all the world like a win when J-Lo kicked out almost from instinct at two and three quarters. Wanting this to be over J-Law beat the mat in frustration then slowly picked Lopez up and positioned her for a Tombstone piledriver but from nowhere Lopez shifted her weight, flipped over and sank to her knees spiking Jennifer Lawrence’s head into the canvas with the very same manoeuvre. The referee counted, one, two, thr…No! At the very last second the blonde kicked out and both beauties lay naked, sweating and exhausted on the mat.

Lopez got to her feet unsteadily and lay on the ropes a moment to try and focus herself before pulling Lawrence up by the hair before delivering the biggest, hardest bitch slap ever seen in the arena. The crowd winced at the crack as it echoed through the building and Jennifer Lawrence dropped to one knee. But the slap seemed to wake her up and she exploded up with a spear right into J-Lo’s gut, driving her to the mat, and then Lawrence really came alive with a wild flurry of punches from the mount position to J-Lo’s face. Those led to another close two count as, seconds later, did a cover following a picture perfect enziguiri kick to the back of Lopez’s head that looked to have knocked her out cold. Frustrated Lawrence hauled Lopez up by her hair again but stopped and the Latino superstar fired her arm up between the younger blonde’s legs with a desperate low blow, pulling herself up J-lo then snapped a head-butt right into Lawrence’s face. Lawrence dropped to her knees but the move seemed a bad one for Lopez too as her eyes went glassy, she wobbled, fell into the ropes and then through them and hard to the floor.

Both women were really slow to their feet and J-Lo only just beat a count-out, dragging herself up by the ropes to stand on the apron where she was hit by a perfect superkick right to her chin that saw her let go of the ropes and take a horrible bump right from the apron to land on her back on the concrete her skull smacking the surface hard as she landed. This time the referee easily made it to ten as Jennifer Lawrence leaned on the ropes waiting to see it the battle was finally over. It was.

The winner via count out in 14:12 is JENNIFER LAWRENCE. But as medical personnel come out to tend to a clearly concussed Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Lawrence keeps leaning on the ropes as the big screen comes to life again and yet another of her own personal, hacked videos plays. It’s a POV film taken by J-Law’s boyfriend. She is standing stark naked in front of him and submissively drops to her knees and crawls towards him while seductively proclaiming herself “his slut, his cum bucket, his whore” and then she proceeds to suck his cock hard and long, deep throating him before allowing him to spray his cum all over her face. Given the way it is shot it’s like she is speaking to everybody watching. Jennifer watches the film from the ring aghast and humiliated and the screen finally goes blank. But only for a second as an animated broomstick flies across the screen to finish. Does this allude that the culprit that has been tormenting Jennifer like this will finally be revealed at the upcoming Halloween Horrorshow PPV? It looks like it!

*

We head backstage, where in an office, Stephanie McMahon is signing two new fighters to a contract. Karen Gillan and Zoe Saldana are tall, lithe and sexy and the boss tells them and the audience that they will debut next month as a tag team against the World Tag Team Champions.

As they leave Rhonda Rousey and Alexa Bliss enter and ask if Steph is ready.

“Oh absolutely, I would not miss this for anything! Rhonda do you have the bucket?”

Rhonda holds up a large metal bucket with red hot coals piled up inside it and glowing fiercely. Stephanie smiles and takes the branding iron Alexa offers her. She turns it to the camera so we can see the word SLUT is on the brand backwards before she dunks it into the red hot coals.  The three then head off towards the ringside area.

Back at the ring the War Games cage has been lowered into place. We’ve seen it before but it still inspires fear and awe in equal measures. It’s a large steel cage with a roof that fits not only over the ring but also a good three feet or so of the floor area around the ring.

Stephanie, Rhonda and Alexa come down the ramp with the coals and branding iron and the boss joins the commentators for this huge match.

First out are Elizabeth Hurley, Catherine Zeta Jones, Hayley Atwell, Gillian Anderson and Lucy Liu. The face team are all clad in white one piece swimsuits and they get a good ovation as they circle the cage and take their place beside their corner door.

Things get noisier as the heel team arrives. Led by Kate Middleton, Meghan Markle, Pippa Middleton, Eva Green and Lena Headey, The Royal Family are all in black one piece swimsuits and get booed and catcalled as the take their positions. Each team has an outside ref to watch them while one will control things inside. The two captains will start things off for five minutes then every two minutes another person will enter until all ten women are in the cage. At that point if the captain submits the match will end and that losing captain faces the terrible prospect of being branded by their rival captain.

The bell rings and both team captains are instructed to enter the cage. Elizabeth proudly opens the cage door and steps inside while from the opposite corner Kate Middleton is reluctant to and wastes as much time as possible before the referee tires of her stalling and literally shoves her in and closes the door quickly behind her. Liz stands in centre ring and dares her hated enemy to face her and to everyone’s surprise it looks like Kate will as she slowly climbs into the ring. Then as they are face to face Kate reverts to form and tries to cheat, attempting to throw salt she has hidden in her hand into Liz’s face. But Liz anticipated this and got her hand up first and most of the salt misses while some even flies back into The Duchess’s face. And then Liz Hurley really lets loose. She just batters Kate with a series of punches and slaps and chops that soon sends Kate reeling from the ring. But Liz is right behind her and grabs the back of her head and takes great pleasure (as do the crowd in ramming Kate Middleton’s forehead right into the chain link of the cage) she does this an incredible 25 more times in succession with the crowd loudly counting each time and when Liz finally stops to catch her breath we can see Kate Middleton is already busted open and bleeding from across her forehead. Smiling Liz presses Kate’s wound right into the cage and begins to rub it back and forth really harshly, literally tearing the cut open wider and wider.

When Liz pulls her foes head back it’s already a pretty gruesome sight as Kate Middleton’s face is coated in her own blood and she looks done in already and there is still lots of time before the match can even finish. And with the timer counting down to our next entrant things are not going to get any better for the part owner of the Federation as when the buzzer sounds it’s Catherine Zeta Jones that enters the fray. The Welsh actress hurries over as Elizabeth whips Kate towards her and Catherine levels her, on the floor, with a hard clothesline before Catherine sits her up, stands over her and nails her with punch after punch to her bloody forehead.

They toss Kate into the ring and Elizabeth takes particular pleasure ripping off Kate’s swimsuit and leaving her stark naked before dropping her with a hard right hand. Then Catherine climbs to a corner turnbuckle and Liz holds Kate’s leg out straight and Catherine jumps off and drives a knee right into Kate’s leg in a move that will likely incapacitate her for most of the rest of this match. And then the buzzer sounds and here comes Kate’s cavalry as a fierce looking Eva Green steps into the cage.

Eva is a real monster and proves it straight away as Catherine goes to meet her and walks straight into a hellacious choke slam in centre ring before she drags Liz off Kate, lifts her up and hurls her over the top rope to smack hard into the cage. She checks on her boss for a moment, dragging Kate towards their corner then turning to pick up Liz before ramming Liz knee first to the floor forcing the Englishwoman to cry out.

Eva stands over Liz contemplating her next move when Catherine grabs her hair from in the ring. That only seems to enrage the French actress and she drives her hand up right into Jones’s throat right as the buzzer sounds and our fifth entrant to the cage enters. It’s Hayley Atwell and she charges across the ring to nail a baseball slide into Eva that sends her flying into the cage.

As this plays out Meghan Markle is distracting the outside ref while Pippa Middleton slides a chain into the cage to where a bloody Kate wraps it around her fist before crawling across the floor and smacking Liz repeatedly in her knee, clearly setting that up for a submission later.

Hayley is holding her own with Eva, chopping her against the cage before bashing the back of her head against the cage but Eva ‘hulks up’, hammers her knee into Hayley’s gut then rams Hayley’s pretty face into the cage and rubs it relentlessly across the steel. Hayley is soon bleeding heavily too but is at least relieved as Catherine drives her knee into Eva’s back from behind to finally stop the mad bitch. And then Meghan makes her in ring debut.

Meghan hurried into the cage, ran around the ring and jumped on Catherine Zeta Jones’s back hooking her forearm around her throat in a choke. And Meghan had energy to spare as she brought Catherine down to her knees and within a minute she went limp having been put completely out! Meghan then moved over to help Kate lift Liz up and wrap left leg around the ring post before they started to pull back on both sides torturing her limb.

Meantime Eva was still grating Hayley’s face across the cage wall and Hayley Atwell was almost as big a bloody mess as Kate Middleton. The buzzer went and into the fray came Lucy Liu. The Asian actress came in like a buzz saw, first nailing both Kate and Meghan to give Liz some relief then sliding into the ring to run across it and leap out and fling herself into Eva Green’s back smashing her face first into the cage as she stood over Hayley. Lucy then bent down and rather unbelievably started to loop Eva’s hair through the cage and before Eva had regained her bearings her hair was tied to the cage in four separate places!

To prove the point Eva tries to stand up and is pulled back by her hair and we see a fearsome snarl and she desperately kicks out at Lucy but misses. The buzzer sounds and we have our eighth entrant, Lena Headey. The Game of Thrones actress is very much a mercenary in this match, having made no secret that her services were up for grabs and Kate Middleton was the one to pay for them.

She slides into the ring and seeing her Lucy goes to meet her but misses a drop kick and in an instant Lens hoists her up and powerfully powerbombs her to the mat. From where Lucy came from Hayley Atwell wipes blood out of her eyes, sees Eva’s position and moves over to stamp down hard on Eva’s heads few times. Behind them Catherine Zeta Jones is still motionless and in the opposite corner Liz has picked Kate up by her blood soaked hair but Meghan Markle kicks her in her injured leg to drop her again.

In the ring Lena pulls up Lucy, military presses her and literally throws her like a dart out of the ring and smacks head first into the gate about six foot up! Lucy slides down the cage and we. And we see she’s another one that has been busted open in War Games. She sees Hayley getting her shots on a downed Eva and Lena stalks over and jumps from the apron with a double axe handle to knock her down. Hayley lands next to Eva and in one of the more memorable moments of this encounter, Eva opens her jaws and sinks her teeth right into Hayley’s bloody forehead and graphically gnaws on her!

The second last buzzer brings the final member of Liz’s team, Gillian Anderson, into the match. The experienced red head hurried over to her captain and levels first Meghan with a clothesline before blocking an attack from Kate, kicking her in her gut then scooping The Duchess up and slamming her on the hard, unforgiving floor.

Gillian then runs around to spear Lena just as she was about to pile drive a still out of it Catherine Zeta Jones on the floor. Elsewhere, a bloody Lucy crawls over to punch Eva and make her release an even bloodier Hayley Atwell. And so the buzzer sounds for the final time and Pippa Middleton enters the cage. The match beyond has now begun and it’ll only end if either captain submits.

Pippa is seen by pretty much everyone as the weak link on the heel team. No doubt that is why she is last to enter but with bodies scattered across the cage just the fact she’s fresh could be a big advantage. She enters and goes over to assist her big sister in ramming Liz Hurley’s knee into the floor once more.

To everyone’s relief Catherine Zeta jones is up and she stumbles around the ring to pay Meghan back for her attack from behind by rabbit punching her in the kidneys and propelling her head first into the cage. She then runs at the Middleton sisters outside the ring and levels them both with a huge double clothesline. In the ring Lena nails Gillian from behind with a low blow and kicks her out of the ring before dragging Liz into the ring and slapping on a figure four leglock right in the centre of the ring. Lena’s on a huge bonus for getting a submission so she’s desperate to squeeze it from the opposing captain. However, Lucy scrambles into the ring and rakes her nails across Lena’s eyes to break the hold before there’s too much pressure. Catherine lifts Kate by her bloody hair and rolls her into the ring and takes great pleasure in slamming the royal bitch on her back hard and pulling her around to slap on a sharpshooter in the ring. Across the ring Lena ducks a charge from Lucy to send her up and over the ropes to crash into the cage again and without looking up spins Liz Hurley around to hook in a sharpshooter too!

So both team captains are trapped in that painful hold that hurts the back and the leg and both are in evident agony. There’s a moment where they both look up and stare at each other in their respective agonies. Around the ring the other six women are pretty battled out but Gillian is trading chops with Pippa, Hayley and Meghan are brawling and Lucy and Eva are down though Eva has managed to free a couple of the knots from her hair by shifting her head so hard that she actually tore her own hair out!

But the attention is all on the two figures trapped in sharpshooter in the ring and the intense pressure being placed on them with both knowing the extreme consequence for submitting. Liz is in actual tears as Lena bends her legs and back harshly, Kate has blood dripping from her face as she wails in torment and then suddenly gives up, slapping the mat three times as she cannot take the pain any more!

The winners in 23:52 are ELIZABETH HURLEY. CATHERINE ZETA JONES, HAYLEY ATWELL, LUCY LIU and GILLIAN ANDERSON.

In the aftermath Catherine storms over to force Lena to release Liz and the five faces get together and escape as the cage is lifted. They are a mess, Liz can barely walk, Hayley is a bloody mess and Lucy is busted open too. The cage going up has the unfortunate effect of ripping the last of Eva Green’s tied hair out too in a very painful looking moment.

With the cage lifted Stephanie McMahon steps into the ring and demands all Kate’s team except the Duchess herself go backstage. They are reluctant, and in the case of Eva Green look like they are ready to attack the new owner but when Rhonda and Alex flank Steph then Charlotte Flair, Sacha Banks and Becky Lynch also come down to ringside there is nothing else for it but for Pippa, Meghan, Eva and Lena to head up the ramp past the winning team. With them away Stephanie is really loving the state Kate Middleton is in as she drops to her knees and pleads and begs not to have this happen. Of course there is no chance this forfeit is not being enforced and Rhonda grabs Kate and pushes her to the ropes and holds her arms over the ropes while Alexa gets a grip of Kate’s ankles holding her in place as Stephanie leaves the branding iron in the bucket and waits as a limping, tired Elizabeth Hurley steps back into the ring.

Steph is right up to Kate’s face and goading and laughing at her as Liz lifts the brand, shows the world it is bright red then steps forward and presses it hard into Kate Middleton’s right buttock. There is a sizzle, steam comes up and Kate screams an ear piercing scream and it’s over. A camera gets in to see that Kate Middleton, The Duchess of Cambridge, has the word SLUT permanently branded into her ass.

The look Kate shoots at Liz and Steph and anyone else she can see as they all leave the ring laughing is one of pure murder.

*

We are transported backstage where a beaten up Sofia Vergara sits on a wooden bench and rubs at her neck, injured by the World Tag Team Champions earlier that night. Into the locker room burst Sarah Hyland, now with a champagne bottle and two glasses in her hands and still full of her victory earlier that evening.

“Oh My |God! Did you see that fat slob getting fucked? What a hoot! Here I filmed it you want to see?”

Sarah puts the bottle and glasses down and thrusts her mobile phone in front of Sofia for her to view the recording. Sofia angrily swats Sarah’s hand away and rubs at her neck as she scolds her.

“You know Sarah, I know Ariel was a bitch to you but you do not need to gloat like this, it is not…”

She is cut off mid sentence because, annoyed at the tone the older woman was using and full of her own importance, Sarah has picked up the bottle and rattled it off Sofia’s skull! It didn’t break but what a thump it made and the Colombian lurched forward off the bench to splat on her face. Enraged Sarah spat at her former friend.

“Now look what you made me do. You.Stupid.Fat.Dago!”

Each word punctuated by a kick to Sofia’s side. Then Sarah pulled Sofia to her knees and stood on the tiles in the shower and hoisted her up for another piledriver and jumped and drove the top of her head into the unforgiving tiles. Sofia’s towel had fallen off by now and she lay, knocked out, completely nude on the shower floor. As an exclamation point Sarah open the champagne, drank from the neck them proceeded to tip it out all over Sofia’s naked body.

So in one evening Sarah Hyland has had a huge win and escape, forced her biggest rival into the most humiliating and degrading of forfeit and turned on her friend and mentor and in the process become quite the hated heel.

*

The crowd is still buzzing from the previous match. Kate Middleton has made a humiliated exit, Meghan and Pippa returning and helping her from the ring whilst Stephanie raises Elizabeth’s arm in victory one last time. While this and the backstage action has been going on the ring crew have come down with three large reels of barbed wire and having removed the ring ropes they proceed to replace them with the barbed wire and then wind the reels to the floor and push them under the ring with the remaining wire. The men are wearing thick gloves to handle the wire. As they are finishing off a video package plays for the main event, detailing Taylor Swift and Katy Perry’s real life animosity and also highlights from last month’s title match that ended on blood stoppage when Taylor ran a cheese grater across Katy’s forehead. One of the rules of this match is that there will be no stoppage for blood here, there must be a definitive winner. The final stipulation of the match is that the winner will get half an hour to do whatever they want to the loser in the ring and no-one is allowed to interfere or put a stop to it, not even the new owner.

First into this dangerous setting is the challenger, Katy Perry. The 33 year old native of California is dressed in denim tonight with a pair of padded jeans, and a denim jacket over a white t-shirt to give her some protection form the razor sharp barbs. The 5’7” singer has her hair long, dark and loose and takes the time to slaps the fans hands as she descends the ramp towards the wire roped battleground. She rolls under the bottom strand and gets her jacket caught on a barb but the referee helps her unhook herself.

Next out is the current World Heavyweight Champion, Taylor Swift. The 28 year old is dressed in smooth (but thick) black PVC trousers and bra top and has her belt proudly around her waist as she enters to a chorus of disapproval. She’s taller and lighter than the challenger and the height difference is evident and they go face to face while the ref gives them instruction and the announcer does his job. Taylor takes off her belt and looks to give it to the ref but at the last second she swings it up and smashes it into Katy’s forehead, right into the bandage she has from her gusher last month!

It was a brutal suckerpunch to kick things off but what could the referee do? He verbally admonished Taylor and signalled for the bell but with these stakes there was no way he would DQ her. As Katy reeled from that shot Taylor ran at her with the belt and again smashed it into her head, driving her to the canvas where Taylor dropped on her prone body, straddled her and rubbed that big, indented gold belt harshly into Katy’s skull and sure enough when Taylor lifted the belt up the bandage on Katy’s head was off and the belt and Katy’s head were coated in Katy’s blood. A typically cocky Taylor got up and pulled Katy up with her by her hair then positioned the belt on the mat and dropped Katy with a snap DDT, driving Perry’s skull right down onto the belt. And then Taylor Swift stripped Katy Perry completely naked. Katy offered little resistance as her protective layers were pulled off and thrown into the crowd and indeed it was only as her last item of clothing (a small G-string) was torn off that the brunette seemed to come round. She didn’t get a chance to realise the precarious position she was in because immediately she was up Taylor grabbed her and went to Irish whip her into the ropes (or the taught strands of barbed wire I should say) but at the last instant Katy reversed it and instead it was the World Champion that hit the wire. It dug into her outfit and held her there but really she got off light for a visit into the wire. Or at least she did until Katy leapt up and nailed her in the face with a high impact dropkick and the wire held her in place and allowed Katy to get up and hit another one.

Taylor’s arms and hair were stuck in the wire now and as she struggled Katy Perry took advantage, lashing in a flurry of chops then pounding away at her mortal enemy. It’s quite the sight as the blood slowly seeps in spiderwebs down Katy’s face while she furiously attacks Taylor. Trying to put her opponent at the same dangerous disadvantage of being nude that she is at, Katy tries to pull off Taylor’s top but finds the PVC is so tight that she really struggles to peel it back much. Katy eventually gives that up frustratingly then steps back and then springs forward with a superkick. But Taylor had enough about her to move, tearing her hair and her outfit as she did and Katy’s leg missed her and landed over the top rope on a barb.

Taylor saw her chance and got up and fired a hard knee right up between Katy’s thighs as she was stuck in such an exposed position. Katy made an O with her mouth but couldn’t fall to the mat as her leg was still stuck on the barbed wire. Taylor fired in a couple of low blows with her fist before literally tearing Katy’s leg off the wire and wrapping her arms around Katy’s naked body in a bearhug. Then Taylor lifted Katy up as afar as she could then fell backwards so that Katy’s landed chest first across the tope rope with all her weight behind it, almost like a hotshot manoeuvre. The crowd groaned as Katy hit as the wire collapsed under her and she clattered to the mat with all three strands of barbed wire trapped beneath her and jabbing into her naked body. Taylor then simply stepped up to stand on her opponents back and press her down further into the sharp wire. Taylor stood there and posed, flexing her muscles and blowing a kiss to the booing crowd. When she finally stepped off and ripped Katy up we could see that the brunette’s front was a mess of bloody marks in addition to her messed up forehead.

Taylor took her time and lifted Katy for a bodyslam, she teased delivering it on the mat but shook her head and turned, then she teased delivering it atop the mess of barbed wire she had just lifted Katy from but again shook her head and turned. And then she body slammed Katy from the ring and straight to the floor!

The crowd are in shock, that was a brutal move, Katy hit the floor so hard. Taylor stands in the ring looking down and poses again, looking absolutely fucking magnificent, flexing her muscles again and looking smug as fuck. The crowd find their voice again and boo louder than before. Taylor smiles and deliberately jumps off the apron driving both feet down to land right in Katy’s gut with a double foot stomp. With only hard floor beneath her that is another vile move and Katy is in absolute agony and rolling on the floor once Taylor steps off her. And then Taylor reaches under the ring and carefully pulls out one of the barbed wire spools.

She placed the roll of wire on the floor deliberately then pulled Katy to her feet, hooked her shoulder with her arm and hoisted her up and suplexed her down right across the roll of barbed wire! The crowd were almost stunned by this brutality and barely reacted as Taylor got up, pulled Katy off the wire (little caring about the barbs stuck in her) then lifted her for another suplex but this time dropped her on her front on top of the roll of wire. Katy Perry just lay there atop the roll, un moving and seemingly unable to defend herself as Taylor dropped to her knees and rolled the wire back until it was her opponents face that was resting upon the roll and calmly pulled her head back by the hair and slammed her face into the wire again and again. When she finally relented and just lifted Katy’s face up the camera zoomed in to show what a bloody mess she was in, her face coated in her own blood, her boobs and back equally scarred up.

She offered no resistance as Taylor dragged her back to the ring and tossed her in then threw the roll of barbed wire in after her. She laid the roll out then lifted Katy up and cruelly powerbombed her right onto the roll of wire. Mercifully, after that Taylor kicked Katy off the wire and covered her for the one, two, three.

The winner in 7:34 of bloody slaughter is TAYLOR SWIFT.

And Katy Perry’s disastrous evening is not over yet as she is now completely at the hands of her mortal enemy for the next thirty minutes in the ring. Taylor poses in the ring with her belt over a motionless Katy as Selena Gomez and Miley Cyrus skip to the ring holding an ominous looking black holdall. First they produce heavy gloves and wire cutters and measure out and cut off a length of barbed wire. They pull Katy’s wrists behind her back and wrap the wire tightly around it before looping the remainder around it and up and fashion into an impromptu noose around Katy’s head and throat. Once tightened it ensured if Katy tried to free or move her arms she would be choking and jabbing herself.

Miley meantime wiped Katy’s bloody face with a cloth while Selena handed Taylor a pair of scissors and for the next few moments Taylor hacked off as much of Katy’s long, black hair as she could, leaving a patchy, stubbly mess. As she was doing this Selena pulled on a pair of plastic gloves and at Taylor’s signal she poured the cheapest, nastiest peroxide dye onto Katy’s scalp and working it in to what remained of her hair. Taylor joked regarding Katy calling her a blonde bimbo earlier in the show as this latest humiliation was visited upon her. She slapped Katy and made her admit she was a bimbo, a slut and Taylor’s bitch into a microphone that Miley held to her lips.

Katy was on her knees helpless to do anything but allow this to happen, besides the physical damage from the match she looked a totally broken woman, with little fight left in her. That was shown even more when the next time out of the holdall was a giant strap on dildo and harness that Taylor took great pleasure showing her as she strapped it on, She handed Selena the World Heavyweight Championship and Selena looked good with it over one shoulder and her own title over the other and then Taylor pushed Katy forward, got in behind her and ass fucked her on live PPV.

If Katy was not broken before then she surely was within a minute of the harsh, dry buggering her great enemy gave her, pounding in and out of her with relish, smiling as the crowd showed their disapproval. The War Games timer was counting the thirty minutes down and Taylor fucked Katy like that right up until the very last second, by which time Katy had passed out, whether through blood loss or pain and she was a catatonic mess with a ridiculous new haircut.

The PPV ended with Taylor taking the title belt back from Selena and holding it aloft, standing over her broken foe, beginning to look more and more like a real World Champion.

*

Over the following weeks the card was announced for the next mega event, Halloween Horrorshow!

TAYLOR SWIFT V. JENNIFER LAWRENCE

BEYONCÉ & LADY GAGA v. RIHANNA & RITA ORA (in a double buried alive match in an actual graveyard)

KATE MIDDLETON v. ELIZABETH HURLEY ( in a Chamber of Horrors match)

NICKI MINAJ v. CHARLISE THERON

JENNIFER LOPEZ v. KATY PERRY

JENNIFER ANISTON & MEGAN FOX v. KAREN GILLAN & ZOE SALDANA

SELENA GOMEZ v. MAISIE WILLIAMS

SARAH HYLAND v. SOFIA VERGARA

*

Thanks for reading, please send any feedback, thoughts, ideas to thedarkcloud@birdlover.com.