BITCHMANIA

BY DARK CLOUD

Tonight’s opening tag team encounter features four women with plenty to prove after a fruitless previous PPV. First to come to the ring are Jennifer Lopez and Iggy Azalea. They came up short whilst challenging for the World Tag Team Title last month despite pushing the champions hard. They are clad in matching white and black one piece swimsuits and look fiercely determined to get back to another Tag Title shot. Their opponents did not quite team up last month, rather they were both challengers to the World Title in a three way Main event but sadly for them, Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj came up short and rather than main eventing the biggest event of the year they are now in the opening match. Despite somewhat getting in the others way in that match they have put their singles careers on the backburner and are keen to go after the World Tag Titles themselves. They are also in matching outfits, this time bright pink, string bikini’s that are extremely revealing.

Once the introductions and rules are out of the way Iggy and Nicki retire to their respective corners and it is quite the dream match up of J-Lo versus Ariana that kicks things off. Despite the age differential between them this was a face off between two strong, beautiful women and as they locked up the crowd was hot for it. Unsurprisingly Jennifer was the stronger and threw Ariana down on her back with relative ease. Equally unsurprising was that Ariana got straight back up and this time used her speed to get behind J-Lo, trip her and straddle her back and mess with her hair much to the crowd’s amusement. This time when J-Lo got up she went right up to her younger foe and talked trash before slapping the hell out of her cheek. She then spat in her face and turned and tagged in Iggy as if she didn’t want to waste any more time on Ariana. Enraged Ariana went after Jennifer and landed a forearm to knock her off the apron but this allowed Iggy to run her knee into her back from behind before locking her arms around her and nailing her with a hard hitting German suplex. In control, Iggy lifted Ariana by the throat and held her up, choking her before throwing her back first into their corner where J-Lo was waiting.

Jen used the tag rope to wind around Ariana’s throat to choke her and Iggy stood in front to hide the fact from the ref. Nicki sensed what was happening and came into the ring but that backfired as the referee rushed over to block her allowing Iggy and J-Lo to double team to their hearts content. And boy did they ever! J-Lo continued to almost garrotte her while Iggy just threw down and treated Ariana’s stomach like a punch bag. Finally the ref returned and broke things up but Ariana just sunk to her knees in the corner and Jennifer demanded to be tagged in to mete out more punishment.

She started by stripping her nude, shoving her tiny pink thong into Ariana’s own mouth. As she struggled with that J-Lo hit several shoulder blocks into the corner then turned around, stuck her own famous ass onto Ariana’s face and gave her a humiliating stinkface as she lay, propped in the corner. When she got up it was only to retreat to the opposite corner then run at her foe and turn at the last moment, driving her rump right into Ariana’s dazed face. Jennifer then picked the smaller girl up whipped her to the ropes and caught her in a rib crushing bear hug upon her return!

Ariana was struggling and being crushed by Jennifer Lopez was no place to be, especially as she was so far from her own corner and partner. J-Lo held her tight for nigh on a minute and in the end Arianna could only escape by by biting her nose. A desperate act but she had to do it and it worked as J-Lo reeled back in sudden pain and Ariana slowly crawled across the canvas towards Nicki’s outstretched hand. She never made it, Iggy blind tagged herself in and rushed over to drop an elbow right across Ariana’s back and dragged her by the ankles to their corner again. The blonde Australian was in full on bully mode and kicked at the downed Ariana, then placed her foot across her throat and using the ropes for leverage choked her where she lay and only broke when the referee made her. At that break Ariana again tried to crawl to her corner but Iggy cut her off and got in behind her and snaked her arm around her throat from behind and cinched in a rear naked choke / sleeperhold in the middle of the ring!

Things looked bleak for Ariana and it looked like she was fading quickly but sensing she needed assistance the crowd got behind the fan favourite and she slapped the mat and powered herself up to her knees then managed to push up and drop down hard, driving the top of her head into Iggy's skull and forcing the blonde to release her as she fell holding her mouth. Miss Grande then started the crawl toward her partner and Nicki stuck her arm out, this time she was going to make it. With one last burst of energy Ariana leapt the last few inches and Nicki pulled her arm away and she got nothing!

Nicki Minaj stepped back on the steps and smirked as a confused look played across Ariana’s face as she knelt on the mat. Behind her Iggy had tagged J-Lo in and Jennifer moved over, grabbed Ariana from behind, lifted her up and dropped her with a German suplex in the middle of the ring. Nicki stepped back up to her corner and was booed for her inaction but she just watched as Jennifer Lopez squatted over Ariana’s head then carefully lowered her big ass right over the younger singers face and applied her patented ass smother. The referee lifted Ariana’s arms three times, each to no response before signalling for the bell.

The winners in 8:01 are JENNIFER LOPEZ & IGGY AZALEA. J-Lo eventually peels herself up and off and the two celebrate and leave the ring just as Nicki Minaj enters it. Given their history of feuding the crowd can’t believe their eyes as Nicki actually holds the ropes open for them before stepping into the ring herself. The crowd booed her but Nicki didn’t seem to hear or care as she shouted down at a motionless Ariana.

“You cost me bitch! You cost the World Title two shows running! You cost me!”

She interspersed her accusations with kicks to Ariana’s ribs before leaning over and spitting in her face. Then Nicki applied her own ass smother to Ariana’s face and she just kept on sitting there even when it was clear Ariana was unconscious. Referees and security eventually had to hit the ring and physically pull Nicki off Ariana’s face and EMT’s followed quickly after when she showed no signs of coming round. Nicki just stood in the corner and smiled before leaving to a hugely negative response from the shocked crowd.

*

Backstage Cara Delevigne has an interview with Julia Roberts and Sandra Bullock over their upcoming debut and World Tag Title match.

“Ladies, welcome to the Federation. And on your first night with us you are not only facing one of the most fearsome tag teams to ever participate here but you are challenging for the World Tag Team Titles later tonight. Can I ask you for your thoughts at this time?”

Sandra takes this one.

“Cara, we have sat back for too long and watch Jennifer and Megan bully and beat women here and enough is enough, someone needs to stand up to them and put them in their place. And that is us. And yes, some might say we are a little older and that little bitch Megan might think she is funny mocking our age with zimmers and walking sticks but she is not going to be laughing tonight when she is across the ring from us.”

Julia took the mic and continued.

“Yes, and Jennifer Aniston and I have history. She knows what I can do, maybe not publicly but we have clashed in the past backstage and let’s just say she didn’t act so tough on her own.”

“So Ladies, are you telling us that we are looking at the new World Tag Team Champions?”

“Damn right you are!”

*

Next up we head out to one of the infrequent outside broadcast matches the Federation sometimes indulges in. We are in a high security prison and we are following an orange jumpsuit clad female up a flight of stairs, from her long dark hair and curvaceous body we can guess this is Kim Kardashian on her way to the cell where she will face off one final time with her nemesis, Gal Gadot. Theirs is a long and storied history with Gal easily humiliating the ultra cocky Miss Kardashian in backstage segments but when the two have actually faced off in the ring Kim has shockingly defeated Gal twice, once resulting in her getting to shave Gal bald on live PPV. Of course for both those wins Kim has used her money to buy interference and help from first Charlize Theron and then Michelle Rodriguez. That will not be happening this night.

In the prison Kim walks along a gridded walkway and stops as she comes to two prison officers and a referee. They are outside a jail cell that the camera handily pans around. The cell has stone floor and ceiling and three walls with the doorway side of the cell being lined by solid metal bars stretching the height of the cell. It is 10’ x 6’ and all the usual fixtures (bed, sink, toilet) have been stripped from the cell to leave it completely bare. It’s a stark and uninviting environment and you can see Kim is not happy about entering it, especially as she is told to strip the jump suit off before stepping inside.

Once she is in Gal appears from the other direction in a matching jumpsuit (though not nearly so well filled out). Her shorn hair is growing back and unlike Kim she seems more than eager to strip off her clothes and stands on the opposite side of the bars to Kim and glares in at her hated rival. Kim comes to the bars too and they stare at each other as the referee explains to them that once Gal enters the cell he will lock it from the outside and at that point there are no rules, they can do whatever they want to each other and the fight will only end once one of them asks to be released and is able to exit the cell. The loser will stay in the cell to the following 30 days as a prisoner of the County and will be treated as such.

With that explained the referee opens the door and Gal steps through, as she does Kim grabs the bars and pulls hard to shut the door on her! It catches her on the shoulder and jams it between the door and the barred frame. Gal slumps to her knees whilst jammed in the doorway and the referee tries to get control of the door. Kim reached through the bars and punches him in the nuts so he staggers back, she grabs the door and slams it shut on Gal’s injured arm before the guards get involved and push both women properly in the cell and then lock the door.

Kim clearly had a huge advantage and proceeded to increase it by grabbing Gal’s arm and twisting it, barring it and finally bending it right up behind the Israeli actresses back. They were kneeling and somehow Gal powered up to her feet but that backfired as Kim held the arm in place and propelled Gal forward at pace to slam face first into the cell wall. It is a brutal contact and Gal moaned before Kim flung her to the side to crash into the bars again. Kim was right on her and grabbed Gals injured left arm and managed to pull it through the other side of the bar so that her arm was in one side and wound around the bar. It was a dangerous position for the Israeli and so it proved as Kim cruelly pulled on the arm then and yanked on it, twisted and bent it back in an unnatural position before kicking it. Kim then kicked Gal and as she fell back you could hear the pop as her shoulder dislocated and she gave a cry of agony.

So things were looking bleak for Gal Gadot and Kim Kardashian had a cheesy grin as she stood over her and mocked her pain. She pulled Gal up and went to grab her injured arm but, in desperation, Gal swung her other fist and smashed a punch right into her cocky foes face. It caught Kim flush on the nose which instantly exploded with blood. Kim reeled back holding her face and cupped her hands protectively around her face. With her left arm hanging limply by her side Gal saw her chance and seized it. She kicked Kim in the gut which made her drop her arms then grabbed Kim’s hair and propelled her across the width of the cell to ram her face right into the stone wall. Despite her arm aching Gal got in behind Kim and used her good hand to the back of Kim’s head and used it to rub Kim’s face back and forth across the rough, stone surface. When she finally relented and pulled Kim from the wall the camera (one in each of the cells corners) showed us that Kim’s face was bloody and bruised and looking pretty rough indeed. Not that Gal cared, she peered into Kim’s dazed face then deliberately held her head up and rammed her forehead into Kim’s face with a vicious head-butt, then gave a bone crunching sound. Kim was out of it and being held up purely by the hold Galhad on her hair and she now used this to drag Kim over to the bars and proceeded to ram her face into the bars twenty times, counting after each blow. When she was done Kim’s face was truly wrecked and was just a bloody, unrecognisable mess.

Still favouring her limp arm Gal asked for the cell door to be opened and walked through it to no resistance from her opponent to win the fight. Having done that Gal glanced back, thought for a moment and stepped back inside the cell to drag Kim by the hair so that her head was through the door against the metal frame. Then Gal grabbed the door from the referee and slammed it shut hard on Kim’s skull! With the ref and guards trying to stop her Gal pushed them off and slammed it a second time right on Kim’s head leaving her completely unconscious and motionless on the cell floor and leaving no doubt who the overall winner of this violent feud had been.

And of course once Kim had recovered she had a month in prison to look forward to.

*

Backstage at the arena and we are in the owner, Stephanie McMahon’s office. You might expect Steph to be showing some concern for the health of one of her backstage interviewers that she forced into the proceeding match but it would appear you would be wrong. The busty brunette is sitting at her desk, flanked by Becky Lynch and Charlotte Flair and reading and re-reading from a clipboard with increasing consternation.

“This is insane! Absolutely fucking insane! The bitch is mad! Crazy! Loco! I mean look at these stipulations she has picked for tonight, they are too much! I know she went overboard when she got branded but these?! No, they are too much.”

“But aren’t you kinda committed to them Boss? Haven’t you already agreed to them? Can’t back out now?” asked Becky.

“Yeah. They can’t be that bad, can they? Let me see” spoke Charlotte as she took the clipboard from the owners hand.

“Let me see, OK. In a steel cage, no interference, blah, blah, winner gets 100% control of the Federation, OK, loser must serve as winner’s PA for the next calendar year, oh that’s bad, what’s this? Oh Wow, you’re kidding me, loser to get either breast reduction (if Steph) or breast enlargement (if Kate) surgery with new bust size to be chosen by the winner of the match! It’s fucking sick!”

Becky handed the sheet for Charlotte to read and then the two looked at Stephanie, but despite her earlier rage filled incredulity a strange grin was forming on the boss’s face.

“You know what? Fine! If that is what the bitch wants then fine. We are in that cage with no interference and I want you two to make sure of that, so one on one I can easily beat that anorexic Royal cunt and when I do that leaves me with these forfeits, I’ll finally be done with her as a minority shareholder in the Federation and I will give her boobs like a pair of beachballs!”

*

From that image we are transported back to ringside and the rousing theme tune of Game Of Thrones hits and out comes the new Junior Heavyweight Champion, Maisie Williams. She gets a warm reception as she strolls down the ramp with the belt over her shoulder, she is clad in a very plain, black two piece bikini. Maisie won the vacant title last month by defeating both Sarah Hyland and Miley Cyrus in the semi and final of a tournament, and she will face both again tonight, this time in a three way battle. Maisie had been keen to fight Sarah after her sneak attack after the semi-final but Miley had forced a claim to a shot due to reaching the final, in the end Maisie agreed to face them both such was her confidence.

With Maisie in the ring enter Miss Cyrus. The dirty blonde is in a skanky white two piece with a mesh top and is sporting a white cowboy hat and comes down the ramp swigging form a bottle of beer, as is her wont. She stops at the corner of the ring and glares up at the new champion as the second challengers music hits. Sarah Hyland appears wearing an angel costume – white lacy bra and panties and wearing a harness for little angel wings and a white halo. Of course, of late she’s been no angel and receives a pretty harsh reception from the audience but Sarah just smirks at them as she skips down the ramp and stands beside Miley before slipping her wings and halo off.

The two challengers are beside each other and cover their mouths to speak, clearly formulating some sort of strategy before the match, as they are doing that Maisie pushes the referee aside, hits the far ropes, rebounds and speeds towards the near ropes and in an impressive athletic feat leaps up and over them to fly out and crash into the conspiring heels with a suicidal dive!

The crowd love that and cheer even more when Maisie is first up and whips Miley into the crowd retainer before picking up Sarah by her hair and tossing her into the ring. She follows her in and as Sarah gets to her knees Maisie unleashes a barrage of lightning quick, hard hitting martial arts style kicks all over Sarah’s torso before finishing with a hard one to the side of her head that knocks her over and Maisie pounces to cover her. She gets a two count before Miley reaches under the rope to pull Maisie off the cover and what looks a sure fire win. Within seconds Miley is regretting it as Maisie fires in a series of fast, hard chops that sends the dirty blonde reeling back to the crowd barrier. With her adrenaline up Maisie stepped back then raced across the floor to leap up to deliver a splash but Miley dropped at the last moment and the brunette hit nothing but steel barrier!

The crowd moaned with her as she dangled on the barrier and winced as Miley picked herself up, got behind Maisie and fired in a series of hard uppercuts right between the Englishwoman’s thighs. Miley then grabbed two handfuls of the Champion’s hair and wrenched her back hard off the railing to land with a sickening thud on her back on the concrete floor. But Miley got no time to celebrate as Sarah had recovered by now and ran along the apron and leapt off with a running knee to Miley’s face knocking her down too. Sarah got up and hauled Maisie up and rolled her into the ring then vaulted up and over the ropes to drop a flying legdrop right in her face that led to a near count. Annoyed Sarah pounded Maisie’s face with a volley of punches before pulling her to her feet and viciously driving her foot into Maisie’s leg from the side – the same leg she injured last month. Maisie grimaced as her leg folded under her but couldn’t stop Sarah grabbing her ankle and wrenching it then pulling her into the middle of the ring whereupon she drove her knee several times into Maisie’s leg before wrapping it around and placing her in a figure four leg-lock. Sarah fell back and stretched Maisie’s leg and elicited a cry of agony as the pressure was applied.

Any thoughts of a submission victory for Miss Hyland disappeared moments later though as Miley Cyrus climbed up the turnbuckle and jumped off with a splash landing right on Sarah. She covered her and got a two count before Sarah kicked out. Miley grabbed Sarah by the hair and just as Maisie tried to rise Miley cracked Sarah’s head right against Maisie’s, stunning both. Miley lifted Sarah and powerbombed her on the mat then quickly lifted Maisie and powerbombed her on top of Sarah then covered the pile. The ref counted but Maisie slipped off and the count went nowhere. Frustrated Miley kicked Sarah out of the ring, under the bottom rope and lifted Maisie and pushed her up against the ropes. She stepped back and aimed and launched a superkick. Maisie ducked and Miley ended up with her leg over the top rope. Quick as a flash pushed Miley up so she was properly straddling the rope and then grabbed it and bounced it up and down as hard as she could, eventually bouncing her off it. As Miley reeled around the ring, Maisie ran the ropes and came back with a flying, spinning kick that caught he blonde flush on the jaw and sent her down. Maisie cover and just got the three count a moment before Sarah reached back in to pull her off.

The winner, and still Junior Heavy Weight Champion in 7:52 is MAISIE WILLIAMS. As Maisie stood to accept her belt back and the acclaim of the crowd Sarah scrambled up and dove at the back of the Champion’s injured leg. In a flash she wrapped on another figure four leglock and then Miley Cyrus crawled back in the ring and started punching Maisie in the face then got up and began stamping down on Maisie’s legs. Then the crowd cheered as Maisie’s great friend Sophie Turner ran down the ramp and cleaned house sending both assailants spinning out of the ring and standing tall over her friend and helping her up. Maisie hopped over to retrieve her belt and gave Sophie a hug.

*

With Kim Kardashian competing tonight and now spending time in jail (via the hospital) and Melissa Joan Hart still recovering from her beatdown at the hands of Megan Fox and Jennifer Aniston last month, we have two new backstage interviewers from tonight’s show – Kristen Bell and Krysten Ritter and it’s the former that is handling things for this next segment.

The bubbly blonde looks super excited to be part of the Federation and is with Jennifer Lawrence and Brie Larson, ahead of their huge 2-on-3 tag team match later tonight.

“Ladies, a lot of buzz about your match tonight. I mean Jennifer, you get your hands on your tormentors and former friends. Brie , you make your official debut in the Federation and of course you have agreed to what is in effect a handicap match. But before addressing all that Jennifer what is this talk of you issuing a challenge to Scarlett Johansson for what I believe you are calling a “Hunger Games’ match at our next PPV?”

J-Law smiles and takes the mic.

“Good job Kristen and welcome, yes, I have issued a challenge ahead of todays match because no matter what happens tonight I want that treacherous bitch in a one-on-one match.”

“And what is this Hunger Games match?”

“You’ll find out next month if Scarlett has the bottle to accept, but let’s just say it involves wire and fire!”

“And Brie, your thoughts?”

“My thoughts are that these three are bullies and cowards that like having the numerical advantage, well they have it tonight but Jennifer is not alone this time and we are fixing to teach them a real lesson tonight, Hell Scarlett may not even make it to next month!”

*

Back to the ring and the next combatant is introduced and strolls down the ramp. Kaley Cuoco looks stunning in a tiny red, white and blue string bikini and the leggy blonde 33 year old smiles and waves to the crowd, acknowledging them despite the anger she has bottled up for her opponent. She had teamed with Melissa Rauch so many times and to have been attacked by her last month and for her to have cost her a chance at the World Heavyweight title tonight and to have caused her to be shaved bald in the process had been hard to take for Kaley and she has sworn to get revenge tonight. She teases the crowd a little by bending over as she steps through the ropes the stands in the ring and glares up the ramp awaiting her former friend. AS she does so a figure hops the crowd railing behind her. It’s Melissa and the diminutive blonde is in black leather coat, trousers and boots and is carrying a baseball bat. She slides intot he ring behind a still oblivious Kaley and gets up and smashes the bat across a completely unsuspecting Kaley’s shoulders and neck. Kaley crumples to the mat and Melissa starts a wild assault, smashing the baseball bat hard all over Kaley’s body before spereading her out on the canvas and viciously smashing the bat on each of her elbow and knee joints. Kaley is in obvious distress and offers little resistance as Melissa rolls her over and takes a cable tie from her jacket pocket and wraps it around Kaley’s wrists and pulls it super tight. She then tears off Kaley’s bikini before getting down behind her and ramming the end of her bat against Kaley’s pussy!

The crowd look on aghast at this brutal beating as Melissa just forces the end of the bat in and in and eventually forces it inside Kaley’s battered cunt! And then she just starts fucking her with it, as dry as it is! Kaley is in floods of tears and begging for the attack to stop but Melissa has a crazed look in her eyes and just continues to pump the bat in and out as hard as possible until finally Kaley’s eyes roll up and it appears she has, perhaps mercifully, passed out. That did not immediately stop a crazed Melissa who kept on pumping the bat in and out for a few thrusts more before finally releasing it. She stood up and raised her arms and receive da storm of boos and jeers to which Melissa just smiled sweetly then kicked the end of the bat jutting out of Kaley to Kaley’s obvious discomfort as she came to sreaming in the middle of the ring.

Melissa Rauch left the ring as referee and announcer came to the conclusion that this match was a NO CONTEST.

*

Backstage Cara Delavigne is with a confident looking Selena Gomez.

“Selena tonight you fight for the World Heavyweight Championship against your greatest friend Taylor Swift. I see you smiling at what just happened to Kaley Cuoco just now but aren’t you worried that something similar might befall you later tonight? Taylor is reknowned for punishing her defeated opponents with a series of obscene strap ons.”

Selena turns a condescending sneer on Cara as she answers.

“Worried? No. I’m not worried. For two reasons. One, Taylor would not do that to me, we have an agreement to fight tonight and the best woman wins, we are too strong to be split up by fighting for the belt tonight. Second, because I will win tonight, so she won’t be able to do that to the loser tonight, will she. And another…”

Selena tailed off as Taylor Swift came into view across from her, her title belt draped over her shoulder. The two friends went nose to nose as Cara stepped out of their way.

“The fact we are friends is the only reason you are still standing right now Selena. You think you will win tonight? I don’t think so. Doubt me? Why don’t you go and ask the trail of broken bitches I have left behind me: Beyoncé, Katy Perry, Ariana, and Nicki Minaj, they all failed, you’re good Selena but you are not me!”

The camera fades away with the two friends are glaring at each other nose to nose.

*

The crowd erupts as Beyoncé emerges at the top of the ramp and her hit “Girls!” blares over the PA system. She is dressed in boots, denim shorts and a white vest for her upcoming falls count anywhere match. She marches confidently to the ring and stands awaiting her opponent and great rival, Rihanna, for what is actually their first ever one on one singles encounter.

Rihanna emerges to her hit “Disturbia” and as per that music video she is in black PVC shorts, boots and bra top. Just seeing her on the ramp is too much for Beyoncé and she climbs out of the ring and races up the ramp to start fighting. The referee chases after and frantically waves his arm and this bout is underway.

They trade furious blows on the ramp: slaps, punches, chops and scratches go back and forth in their precarious position. Just last month Rihanna was thrown from such a height by Beyoncé and took a hellacious bump to the floor and apparently she is seeking retribution. Rihanna kicks Beyoncé low then grabs her hair and goes to propel her off the ramp to the ground below but Beyonce drops to her knees to kill the momentum. From there she fires up several punches to Rihanna’s gut and gets up to her feet and they grapple some more, slowly descending the ramp as they do so. Beyonce powers into an advantage and hooks Rihanna’s arm and goes to hip-toss her off the ramp to the floor but Rihanna manages to block it, knees Beyoncé in the gut and reverses the move to hip-toss Beyoncé off the side of the ramp and crash hard to the floor on her back. With her opponent flat on her back Rihanna stands over hero n the ramp and steps off the edge, lifting her leg to drop it right across Beyoncé with an insane leg drop that clearly hurt both. Rihanna crawled over to cover and the ref got to two before Beyoncé somehow kicked out.

Rihanna struggled to her feet first and lifted Beyoncé up, hooked her arm over her shoulder and in quite the show of strength lifted her in a delayed suplex before dropping her on the floor at the side of the ramp. Again she covered her and again she got just a two count. As Rihanna remonstrated with the referee Beyoncé crawled towards the ring. She made it to the ring and pulled herself up by the apron but only in time for Rihanna to charge and drive her knee into the small of Beyoncé’s back. Rihanna stopped her sliding to the ground and pulled her over to push against the ringpost, then Rihanna grabbed a folding metal chair and turned and swung it like a baseball bat at Beyoncé’s head. Fortunately, she ducked and the shot found nothing but steel. This seemed to hurt Rihanna’s hands and she dropped the chair and held her hands in pain. Beyoncé forced herself up and pounced forward to level her foe with a spear that left both flattened. Beyoncé was first up and dragged Rihanna with her and nailed her with a DDT into the floor and covered for an agonisingly close two count.

Regaining her wind Beyoncé scooped Rihanna up and lifted her overhead in a military press and was about to throw her into the ring shen she reacted to a section of crowd chanting “Over Here! Over Here!” and walked over to them and tossed Rihanna’s body into the shouting masses! The crowd loved this and began to crowd surf Rihanna over them, all the while copping a feel of her, groping her and finally pulling off her bra top before she had passed over them and been dumped in an aisle on some steps. Beyoncé had followed her progress and was there to kick her before lifting her and slamming her on a small landing and covering her for a close count. She pulled Rihanna up but as she came Rihanna shoved Beyoncé to send her crashing backwards down the previous flight of steps taking a bad ride and an even worse landing. Rihanna walked after her, stamped her a few times then dragged her by the hair to the side and through an exit door and into the main concourse around the arena. The referee and cameras followed closely and were in time to catch Rihanna whipping Beyoncé back first into the wall then grabbed her , marched her over to a concession stand and literally flung her into the table, smashing it and all the souvenirs and tat crashed down around her.

Reaching into the mess Rihanna pulled Beyoncé up by her hair and flung her across the corridor to smash into a door and fall inside a gents restroom! She followed her in and pulled her by her long hair inside where several guys were taken by surprise at the urinals and coming out of a stall. Rihanna lugged Beyoncé to the closest urinal and forced her face into it and rubbed it along the porcelain. Grossed out Byeonce stuggled and freed herself with a series of back elbows and a low blow then got Rihanna back by forcing her face down into another urinal and rubbing it in there. Then she pulled Rihanna’s wet face up (both their faces were shiny with piss) and flung her into a cubicle door before dragging her inside and plunging the Barbadian’s face into the toilet bowl and holding it down there as she pushed the flush!

Beyoncé pulled her soaking foes head up and flung her back in the middle of the restroom and covered her right there., surrounded by a boisterous group of guys. Rihanna kicked out though and jabbed a thumb in her opponents ey and scrambled away and out the main door into the concourse. Beyoncé was not far behind and caught up to her at the top of a set of steps leading to the parking garage. Beyoncé swung her foot and kicked her in the ribs to send Rihanna rolling down the stone steps, taking bump after bump and crashing into the railing at the first landing. Beyoncé hurried after her, pulled her up and punched and chopped the hell out of her before flinging her down the next set of steps to the swing doors into the garage. She picked Rihanna up and blasted her , face first through the doors and into the garage and whipped her into and up and over the bonnet of a parked car. Beyoncé was moving over to grab her when a car drove in and winged her, sending Beyoncé up and onto it’s bonnet before sliding off as it screeched to a halt. The driver emerged and we could see it was Rita Ora that had driven into her. With Rihanna still recovering Rita helped her up then opened the back door for her while she positioned a groggy Beyoncé in the door frame. Then Rihanna slammed the door on Beyoncé – hard. It smashed into her ribs. She screamed and then repeated that when Rihanna pulled the door back and slammed it again this time on her arm. Rihanna went mental slamming the door repeatedly on Beyoncé, catching most of her body and finally slamming it on her head. Beyoncé stopped screaming and slid to the ground where Rihanna covered her. ONE. TWO., THREE.

The winner after 10:08 of wild, chaotic action is RIHANNA and she and Rita pick up a motionless Beyoncé and dump her in the boot of the car that Rita drove in and the two heels burn rubber and head out of the garage and away from the arena at great speed.

*

Backstage Cara Delavigne is with Scarlett Johansson, Emma Stone and Amy Adams and has a question for Scarlett.

“Earlier tonight we heard from you opponents tonight and I have to say they sounded awfully confident. In fact, they seemed to be looked past tonight and J-Law challenged you to a “Hunger Games” match next month – do you have an answer for her, Scarlett?”

Scarlett grabbed the microphone.

“Yes, I accept. I don’t care what kind of match that is, I’ll beat that bimbo wherever and however she wants. But seeing as she wants to issue challenges let’s see if she’s so keen to accept one. Tonight, our 3 on 2 tag match how about we make it an elimination match. That means they could get it back to a standard 2 on 1 match, or…”

“Or it could be 3 on 1.”

Finished Cara.

*

Elsewhere, backstage another new interviewer, Kyrsten Ritter has her first assignment and quite a job it is. Speaking to the World Tag Team Champions, Megan Fox and Jennifer Aniston, who have developed quite the knack for beating up the backstage interviewers. Kyrsten does not look to intimidated though.

“Ladies, been some stories going around that you two aren’t getting on so well, what with the Rumble and all that. Care to comment?”

Megan lunged at Kyrsten but Jen held her back as Kyrsten held up a tazer gun ready to zap her if she got any nearer and said “do it bitch!”

Jennifer dragged back her partner and addressed the question – eventually.

“Dumb move cunt, you’ll pay for that. However, right now we have other things on our mind. Bigger issues to deal with than a new, two bit bimbo back here. We are as strong as ever and it is just people trying to destabilise us that are spreading these rumours. We are completely on the same page and you will see that tonight when we destroy those two goody-two shoes tonight.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna cripple those old dogs tonight” snarled an almost feral Miss Fox.

This caused Jen to glance at her partner because they were ages with her.

*

And so onto the battle for The World Tag Team Championship. First out are the challengers and making their debut in The Federation , Julia Roberts and Sandra Bullock. They may be as Megan alluded to, a bit older than some of the competitors but as they emerge it is clear to everyone that they are just as sexy and popular as many of their younger contemporaries. Wearing matching lilac lacy lingerie straight out of a Victoria’s Secret catalogue they look real good and the crowd gives them a hell of a response, partly because they are popular and partly because they are so desperate to see the hated champions dethroned and defeated.

With the challengers in the ring out come the champions and as usual they don’t look to happy with life (especially after Krysten stood up to them earlier) . Throwing their belts to the floor the champs slide into the ring and went right up to the challengers and began mouthing off, clearly insulting and cursing them. Sandra had heard enough and shoved Jennifer to the mat but when Julia made to do likewise Megan absolutely fired a headbutt right into her face, breaking her nose and bringing forth a gusher from Julia Roberts nose as the bell sounded!

As Julia reeled back holding her nose Megan rammed into her and forced her through the ropes to crash to the floor. She turned just as Sandra was lifting Jen by the hair and ran over and clubbed her in the back and shouted at her partner to get up. Slowly, she did so and at Megan’s instruction she climbed the turnbuckle whilst Megan hoisted Sandra up and over into a piledriver position obviously intending to spike her into the canvas. But it was too early for that and Sandra backdropped Megan over and ran at the ropes just as Aniston ascended them to unbalance her and crotch her on the top turnbuckle.

Having recovered somewhat (though still spilling blood from her nose) Julia reached under the bottom rope to drag Megan out and slam her on the floor. Meantime Sandra climbed the corner, hooked Jennifer’s arm over her shoulder and lifted her up and over to superplex her into the middle of the ring. She rolled over and got a desperately close two count before Aniston kicked out.

Having started in such chaotic fashion the referee was attempting to bring some order to proceedings and ordered Julia to her corner and a groggy Megan to her’s leaving their partners the legal women in the match.

And Sandra was proving she was no mug when it came to fighting as once Jennifer was up they began trading vicious, hard hitting, loud chops one after the other for nearly half a minute and it was Aniston that ended up beaten back into a neutral corner. From there Sandra whipped her across the ring and ran in after with a big splash that squashed Jen against the turnbuckles. As she came away Sandra grabbed her head and leapt up for a bulldog but Jen felt it coming and, using Sandra’s own momentum, let her go past then lifted her up and slammed her down hard on her back. She thought about following up but by then Megan had her hand outstretched and was demanding to be tagged in, so she did so.

Megan vaulted the ropes and was straddling Sandra in seconds and fired in a flurry of heavy duty punches to the older woman’s face that she struggled to block. Then Megan grabbed her hair and smacked the back of Sandra’s skull off the mat repeatedly before turning her attention lower and literally ripping off Sandra’s lacy bodice before slamming punch after punch into her exposed tits.

Everyone knew how cruel Megan could be and she proved it one more time by pincering her long, sharp fingernails around Sandra’s nipples then pulling her to her feet by them. Sandra came up yelping all the way. Once she’s on her feet Megan then starts viciously slapping Sandra’s tits and turning them beet red. She then flings Sandra to the ropes and leaps up to go for a big dropkick upon her return but Sandra hooked the ropes with her arm and saw Megan crash to the mat on her back before pulling herself along the ropes to reach out and tag in her partner. Julia entered and immediately ran over and levelled Megan with a big clothesline that nearly turned her through 360 degrees. She then picked her up and scoop slammed her to the mat before using the ropes for momentum before jumping up and dropping a knee right in Megan’s face and covering her for a two count. She picked up Megan again and flung her to the ropes but the champ was ready and sidestepped upon her return and neatly got behind Julia and wrapped her arm around her throat and jumped on her back with a sleeper hold!

Megan held on tenaciously as Julia tried to shake her off and as Julia’s legs started to wobble the younger woman even used her free hand to reach around and pinch Julia’s nostrils shut too. Julia is obviously struggling and her eyes go wide as she realises this could put her out so in desperation , while she is still on two legs she reverses at speed towards a neutral corner, hoping to squash Megan in between her and the corner. At the last moment Megan drops her grip and slides under Julia’s legs so that it is just herself the older actress slams into the corner. Megan gets up, kicks Julia in the gut and hits a DDT that plants Julia in the canvas and get s a two count. Megan has her groove now and pulls Julia up and lifts her for a powerbomb which Julia struggles in but can’t prevent and Megan drives her down for another close two count. Megan tags Jennifer in but stays in to lift Julia up in a piledriver position while Aniston ascends the ropes and leaps off to spike Julia’s feet and drive her head into the canvas for what must be the winning manoeuvre.

Sandra rushes into the ring to kick Jennifer off and break up the pin. But as the referee ushers her out the heels take the chance to shove Julia into their corner and Megan wraps the tag cord right around her throat and pulls back hard, choking her. As she does that Jennifer Aniston treats the rest of Julia’s body as a punch bag and just unloads all over her until finally the ref comes back over and forces a break.

Julia is struggling now though and Jen doesn’t let up she scoops and slams her before climbing the corner and hitting a flying elbow that gets a real close count. Jennifer Aniston has that familiar shit eating grin on her face as she knows she is in complete control of her opponent and pulls Julia to her knees and contemptuously slaps her about the face and then clears her throat and spits fully in the star’s face. Smirking Jen pushes her hand into the thick glob of spittle and rubs it over Julia’s face before ripping off her entire outfit to leave her nude in the ring. Aniston then kicks Roberts over and places her foot on Julia’s face and rubs it back and forth, really looking to humiliate her. Outside Megan is desperate to get into the action and is practically demanding to be tagged in. Jen pulls Julia up and shouts over to Megan to get ready but as she is paying no attention to Julia she reaches a hand out and Sandra stretches in to make a blind tag that the referee sees but Jennifer does not. Jen whips Julia to the ropes and Megan pulls them down so that Julia flies over them and crashes to the floor. Megan then drops down to go beat up on her some more. However, Sandra enters the ring behind Jennifer and completely flattens her with a vicious rabbit punch right into the back of Jennifer’s skull. It was completely unexpected and Jen fell on her face. Seeing her chance Sandra moved around picked Jennifer up as if to hit a Pedigree but lifted her up so that her legs lay across the top rope before jumping up and spiking Jennifer’s head into the canvas.

Outside Megan is beating on a lifeless Julia Roberts as this is going on and she doesn’t even know Jen is in trouble. Sandra covers Jen and hooks her legs for good measure.

ONE.TWO.THREE.!!

The winners in 11:47 are SANDRA BULLOCK & JULIA ROBERTS and we have new World Tag Team Champions. Megan turns around stunned as the announcement is made and gives Julia one last stamp before getting back in the ring. Sandra sees her coming and bails out to go and rescue Julia and take possession of the belts as the former champions are in the ring. Megan looks furiously down at a stunned and flattened Jennifer Aniston and demands to know “what the fuck happened” but Jen just shakes her head. There is a pause before Megan extends her hand and pulls her partner up and they stand in the ring glaring at each other and glaring at the new champs as they head up the ramp holding the tag belts up proudly above their heads.

*

Backstage and Kristen Bell has caught up to Nicki Minaj in her dressing room. Nicki is just out of a shower and has a towel wrapped around her body.

”Nicki! What was that earlier? The fans want to know! Why did you abandon your partner? Why Nicki? Why?”

Nicki turns a fierce look upon her questioner and grabs the microphone from her hand.

“The fans want to know why? Well screw the fans, they don’t deserve fuck all from me. And abandoning that little skank? She cost me the World Ttile two shows running so she got hers tonight and if she want’s more then I’ll be at the show next month to give it to her!”

“Give her what? The fans wa….”

Kristen’s question is cut off as Nicki cold cocks her with a punch and as the petite blonde drops to the floor Nicki drops her towel to reveal she is stark naked and squats her large ass right over the debuting interviewer’s face. Kristen’s arms and legs thrash and struggle for a while but quickly become still and that is how we leave the scene with Nicki staring into the camera while still smothering Kristen beneath her!

*

After that there plays a long and extensive video of the Stephanie McMahon and Kate Middleton feud. Showing highlights such as : Steph making her shock entrance to the Federation as its new owner with 51% of shares, Kate being branded on the ass due to Steph’s stipulations and losing to Liz Hurley, Kate retiring Hurley, Kate challenging Steph to a match and finally recapping how Kate managed to overcome Rhonda Rousey thanks to outside interference. The recap just serves to confirm just what a big, important match this is for the future of the Federation. Both women have agreed and signed a contract that allows no outside interference and we fully expect both will stick to this because much has been made in the build up about each wanting to beat the other with no controversy so they can move ahead with leading the Federation onwards. A completely unbiased referee has been brought in from a rival group just for this match and stands inside the steel cage as the first of our competitors are announced.

Regal, classical music fills the arena and the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton emerges and slowly walks down the ramp. Rather than her usual stuck up, smug look, she looks pensive and serious and so she might given the stakes. But it was her that wanted this, her that needed to gain control of the Federation and was willing to go to any lengths to make it happen. She is, as ever, spurred on by the humiliation of the brand burned into her ass cheek (though it is not visible in her outfit of black sports bra and shorts). The crowd have despised the Englishwoman for years and that isn’t going to change tonight.

Kate slowly descends the ramp and enters the cage even slower. Once she is in and testing the bars the music changes and out onto the ramp comes Stephanie McMahon. Steph is older than Kate (42 to 37) and shorter but as she stands on the ramp she looks bigger, more muscular and just more damn confident. She has her long, dark hair swept back in a severe ponytail and is wearing a low cut white one piece swimsuit that showcases her mountainous cleavage. She is all business and storms to the cage and enters and faces up to her deadly rival. As the referee outside the cage shuts the door and locks it the ref inside separates the two feuding brunettes and gives them the briefest of reminders as to the rules. Both women are staring intently at the other, looking to get some measure of physiological advantage. And then the bell rings.

Straight off the bat Stephanie hits the hardest of slaps to the Duchess’s face. The noise of the contact between palm and cheek echoes loudly in the arena and Kate squeals and turns away grabbing at her stinging face. That is just what Steph wants and she grabs her opponent by her top and shorts and propels her at pace to spear through the ropes and smash, face first into the mesh of the cage!

An outside camera rushes around to get right in Kate’s face and we can see already that The Duchess has been busted open with a trail of blood oozing from her nose and a cut on her forehead. That is only worsened when Stephanie comes up behind her and places her foot on the back of Kate’s head and forces it into the cage wall and rubs then stamps on it. Wisely Kate rolls over but just gets stomps to her gut for her trouble. Steph grabs Kate’s ankle and pulls her into the ring and hauls her up by her hair and starts to punch her, in the gut, in the face in her chest. McMahon just takes out her frustration of the past few months on her hated rival. Kate offers little defence and her face is already a bloody, battered mess this early. With her propped up in a corner Stephanie grabs Kate’s shorts and pulls them up hard and fast in a form of wedgie and Kate cries out, but this move was not just for pain as it has revealed Kate’s brand on her pert Royal ass. Stephanie slapped it a couple of times before letting Kate get away then charging over and dropping her with a big clothesline.

There was a smile on Stephanie’s face now as she knelt beside her rival, grabbed big chunks of her hair and used them to lift Kate’s head up then smack it back on the canvas repeatedly. She followed that up with a few well placed bare knuckle punches to Kate’s face that only increased the flow of blood from her – she was a right bloody mess by now. Stephanie pulled Kate to her feet and hooked her up for a suplex but Kate managed to fire her knee between Stephanie’s thighs to stop her then hooked a DDT and drove her head into the canvas to somewhat reverse the direction of the match as it had been one sided up to then.

Kate though, rather than follow up her first offence, crawled away and pulled herself up the ropes and began to climb up them and up the cage wall. Her face was covered in plasma by now and maybe she wasn’t thinking straight because this was not an escape the cage to win type match, maybe she just wanted to escape. However, Stephanie was soon up behind her and climbing too and soon they were both stood on the top rope, holding the cage wall and trading weak looking punches as they balanced precariously. Stephanie went for it and threw a hard chop into Kate’s chest but Kate held the cage wall and managed to kick Steph’s ankle and the WWE owner plummeted down and crotched herself painfully on the top rope. Worse still she toppled over into the ring and her ankle ended up getting stuck between the top and middle rope and she was trapped upside down. Kate slowly climbed down as Stephanie desperately tried to free herself but couldn’t and that was underlined as Kate got to the mat and swung and kicked Stephanie in the face as she dangled. Enraged at her bloody face Kate went into a frenzy of kicks to her helpless opponent until Stephanie was upside down and facing towards the cage wall. Kate pressed her boot into the back of Stephanie’s head and returned the compliment of grinding her features across the mesh again and again, sometimes interspersing it with kicks that drove Steph’s face into the mesh as well. Again the outside camera captured perfectly that Miss McMahon was busted open and as Kate kept up her attack she was also soon bleeding like a stuck pig!

Finally, Stephanie’s ankle came free and she flopped down to the mat but Kate was on her and used her ponytail to ram her face through the ropes and into the cage several times before tossing her through, lifting her up and winding the top and middle ropes around Stephanie’s arms trapping her in them facing the cage wall. Kate ran to the opposite ropes then ran back and jumped up to hit a dropkick to the back of Stephanie’s head that threw her head forward to crash into the cage. Kate forced herself up and repeated the move and this time Steph’s arms came out and she slumped against the cage, her forehead and face a red, bloody mess. Kate pulled her up between the ropes and cage and carefully wound Stephanie’s long pony tail through the mesh and tied it to the cage so that Stephanie was held up by it, against the mesh. The camera captured the fact that Stephanie was barely conscious and that her white swim suit had bloody marks all over it as Kate ran and delivered another dropkick to the back of Stephanie’s skull then guo up and hit a superkick to the same spot. Stephanie looked done in and was just being held up by her hair. ASsshe hung there Kate took one more run up and this time punted Stephanie between the thighs before unting her hair and shoving her back into the ring.

Both women’s faces were coated in blood but only in Kate Middleton’s was there any sign of life. She dragged Steph to the middle of the ring and placed a foot on her big chest and demanded the ref to count.

ONE.TWO.THREE!

The winner in 9:15 is KATE MIDDLETON.

As a result Stephanie McMahon will have to get breast reduction surgery to leave her completely flat chested, she will also have to serve as Kate’s PA for the next year (doing whatever Kate demands) and the new and 100% owner of the Federation is The Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton!

Immediately the EMT’s enter the cage to tend to both women but it is Kate that leaves under her own steam and Stephanie that is flat out on her back The camera focus’s on her and when she eventually comes too and realises what has happened Stephanie cried like a little baby in the ring, blubbering and howling and desperately upset even as the EMT’s try to close her cuts.

*

From that shocking scene to another as we head to the outside broadcast that seems to have followed Rihanna and Rita Ora’s car from leaving the arena. They skid into an abandoned looking warehouse and screech to a halt. The two heels get out and go round to the boot and pop it and despite Beyoncé thrashing out her feet a bit it is easy for them to beat her down and drag her from the boot then lay in more kicks until she is beaten down enough to cut off the ties around her wrists and drag her over to a central pillar in the empty warehouse. Of course as they do this they lay in more blows and insults and Rihanna pulls Beyoncé’s arms around the pole before using another cable tie to secure her arms around it and leaving her no possibility to get away from the pole she is facing. They beat Beyoncé down some more before Rita uses scissors to cut off what is left of Beyoncé’s outfit, leaving her stark naked. At this point another vehicle drives into the warehouse and out of the mini-van that has just arrived pours a gang of masked white men. We can see their arms and necks are adorned with a variety of white power/white supremacy style tattoos. Rihanna and Rita get back in their car and leave the scene and the camera cuts away as the men form a line behind Beyoncé and the first man grabs her hair from behind and forces himself into her roughly.

*

After that it is back to a stunned arena where it is time for our second last match of the night., an elimination tag team match. First out are Scarlett Johansson, Emma Stone and Amy Adams to a cacophony of boos. All three are clad in black, Amy in a one piece while the other two are in string bikinis. They strut down the ramp confidently and slide into the ring and stand glaring back up the ramp as their opponents music hits and out comes Jennifer Lawrence and Brie Larson in matching gold bikinis looking tanned and confident. Seeing their foes the good girls charge down the ramp, slide in and are jump attacked by the heels, kicking off a wild brawl that the referee gets away from and signals for the bell to be rung.

J-Law is desperate to get at Scarlett but gets doubled on by Amy and Emma while Scarlet trie to keep Brie down. That is a losing effort though as Brie powers up and drives Scarlett up and over the ropes with a clothesline. Emma had seen this and broke away from double teaming Jennifer to run over but Brie sees this and backdrops Emma up and over the ropes to crash down on Scarlett. By then Jennifer had reversed things with Amy and kicked her in the gut then powered her up and dropped her with a ring shaking powerbomb. At a signal from Jen , Brie ascends the turnbuckles then launches herself off with spectacular frog splash that beautifully hits its target of Amy Adam’s chest and Brie covers her for the on,two,three. And after just 0:42 seconds of action this handicap, elimination, tag match is down to being a two on two affair!

The two good girls literally kick Amy under the bottom rope just as Scarlett and Emma recover and dive back into the ring behind them. A double dropkick sees Brie sent flying over the ropes to ringside and they start to double team J-Law. The referee is trying to get things under control and get two members only in the ring but it is proving difficult and Scarlett shoves him off to allow her to continue to throttle her rival while Emma is throwing punches to her gut. Staring right into her tormentor-in-chief’s face seems to energise Jennifer and she ‘hulks –up’, kicking Emma away and breaking Scarlett’s choke and tackling her to the mat and wildly throwing an absolute barrage from the mount position that Scarlett tries to somehow block. Scarlett manages to ift her legs and wraps them around Jennifer’s waist and the two roll about and end up rolling right out of the ring and crash to the floor.

Meantime, Emma Stone is back to her feet just as Brie pulls herself up onto the apron. Emma charges at her foe looking to spear her but Brie sees it coming and lifts her knee and drives it into Emma's face. Emma topples back onto her back as Brie shows great athleticism by nipping up to the top rope and leaps off with an elbowdrop that slams into Stone's chest and covers her fpr the one,two,three and afte ronly 2:31 it is the bad girls that are now at a handicap disadvantage.

On the floor Scarlett hasn't reslised her team is two down and is slugging it out with Jennifer as the announcement is made and it distracts her for a moment, but that is enough for J-Law to land a thunderous punch right in the chin to fell her. At Brie's urging she rolls Scarlett back into the ring and Brie whips her into the ropes catches her on her return in a lifted bear hug. Menatime Jennifer has sprung up to the apron and then to the ropes and flies off with a clothesline that connects with Scarlett's head and sends her spiralling to the mat. Jen crawls over and covers her for the one,two,three. and after only 4:01 the winners are JENNIFER LAWRENCE AND BRIE LARSEN. Scarlett rolls out of the ring and curses and swears at them and she and J-Law end up pointing at each other and making threats, both knowing that their issues will come to a head next month.

*

We head backstage to a celebrating locker room that Kate Middleton has taken over. She sits upon her throne, stickers and plasters over her cuts and bruises but nothing can stop her mood of delight. She pops a cork on a champagne bottle and sprays it over her cohorts, Pippa Middleton, Eva Green, Meghan Markle and a newcomer to her stable Jenna Louise Coleman. They all get glasses and toast The Duchess’s victory and shout out things she should do to her ‘new’ personal assistant.

“Make her work in a brothel!”

“Make her fight me (Eva) at every PPV!”

“Brand her on the ass just like you are.”

That last suggestion was from Meghan and the hilarity stopped dead as Kate turned an icy glare on her sister-in-law.

“I mean as revenge, you know.”

We don’t hear Kate’s thoughts on this as into the room come Becky Lynch and Charlotte Flair.

“You wanted to see us Your Highness?” said Becky with poorly disguised disdain.

“Yes, I did ladies, seeing as you two have contracts with the Federation as well as the WWE that makes you my employees now. And I wondered if you would intend to stay loyal to Stephanie or if you might consider coming to work for me directly? Of course I’d need to some kind of display of loyalty first, perhaps you could bend the knee and kiss my foot.”

The look on Becky’s face said it all, she was appalled at this suggestion and the fiery Irishwoman was clearly about to say so when Charlotte wrapped her arm around Becky’s throat in a chokehold. She fought to free herself but Eva and Jenna grabbed Becky’s arms and as Charlotte pushed her foot on the back of her knees Becky had nowhere to go but to her knees as her struggles became more and more feeble and weak. As she faded toward unconsciousness Charlotte pushed her dead weight forward and bent Becky’s head down to the proffered Royal foot. Kate gleefully rubbed her sole all over Becky’s face and pushed it into her mouth just as she passed out.

“Ladies, let me introduce my new Head of Security, Charlotte Flair. Charlotte will you please go and dump this garbage in the bins out back. Oh and stick this around her neck so the dumb Mick gets it.”

She handed over a sign that read “YOU’RE FIRED.”

As Charlotte dragged away a motionless Becky the rest of the|Royal Court went back to laughing and celebrating and no doubt thinking what will come next for The Federation.

*

Next tonight though (or rather last) is a dream match for the ages for the World Heavyweight Championship, where the long term champ, Taylor Swift will defend against her best friend, Selena Gomez. Selena won the Royal Rumble to gain this title shot and we see highlights of that in the video package before the Main Event.

This is a rare World Title match where neither woman is a crowd favourite but there is an expectant buzz as this will surely be quite the match.

Selena emerges to one of her interminable pop songs wearing a flimsy black, silk dressing gown. The 5’5” brunette smirks atthe crowd and teases them as she struts down the ramp before slowly bending to slide through the ropes and then sexily removing her robe to reveal a skimpy red string bikini. She looks fucking good and clearly knows it as she leans back against the ropes and casually pops her chewing gum as she awaits the Champion. Taylor Swift emerges to her hit “Me” and confidently struts down the ramp with the large title belt strapped around her slim waist. The tall blonde has her hair in a jaunty ponytail and is wearing her usual silver bra top and tight shorts. She too takes her time bending through the ropes and steps up to Selena and faces off before unstrapping the belt and holding it high.

The two combatants stand facing each other as the referee takes the belt and goes over the rules before signalling for the bell. They continue their stare then break it with a smile and Taylor reaches her fist out and Selena responds with a friendly fist bump. Folks can’t believe what they are seeing – two of the worst rule breakers and heels in the Federation are showing sportsmanship? It continues in their first lock up as Taylor overpowers Selena and backs her into a corner but immediately breaks her hold and steps back with both watching each other closely but doing nothing untoward.

They lock up again but quick as a flash Selena turns it into an arm drag and sends Taylor flying across the ring on her back. She gets quickly up and wipes her lips and smiles at Selena but perhaps it is not entirely a friendly smile now. Selena advances but gets a kick in her gut for her trouble and Taylor hooked her head and goes for a DDT but Selena hooks her arm over the ropes and Taylor drops back, hard but with no Selena. Selena sees her chance and starts kicking and stamping on the downed champion and in defence Taylor rolls out under the bottom rope to compose herself. Selena is not going to let her momentum disappear though and steps through the ropes and runs along the apron and jumps off with a double axe handle blow to Taylor’s back that sends the blonde tumbling forward to slam into the crowd barrier. The brunette follows up by pulling Taylor around and lashing in a couple of knife edge chops that the crowd react big to. It is becoming apparent that though the crowd despise both girls their support lies with Selena in this encounter probably because they just want to see history and a rare World Title change.

Selena pulls Taylor off the barrier and goes to whip her against the side of the ring but Taylor manages to reverse it and it is Selena’s back that is bent cruelly against the edge of the ring. Seeing her opportunity Taylor seizes upon it and stands in front of Selena and drives her back into the ring again and again before scooping her up and slamming her down hard on the concrete floor. Taylor rolls into the ring and demands the referee starts counting.

He gets to eight before Selena pulls herself weakly into the ring and Taylor looks disappointed she hasn’t won in that cheap fashion (perhaps hoping not to have to fight her friend any further) but she is right on her and stamps down repeatedly on Selena’s back before pulling her into the middle of the ring and squatting down on her back and pulling Selena’s arms up and over her knees as she hooks in a painful looking camel clutch in the middle of the ring. Taylor really leans back on it and puts her hands under Selena’s chin and bends her back even further and snarls at the referee to ask her if she submits. A clearly in pain Selena somehow shakes her head no, desperate not to give up her big chance at the World Title so early on. Taylor continues to pour pressure on to her move but after a while realises that it is not going to be enough to finish her foe off and releases the hold only to get up and actually place her feet on Selena’s spine then reach down to grab her hair and pull up on it! Again the brunette’s body is being stretching to a grotesque degree but still she refuses to contemplate submitting. Taylor is clearly getting frustrated and losing her cool and this is evident when she gives a cry and jumps up and lands on her feet higher up Selena’s back, in her eagerness to roll Selena over for a (failed) pinfall attempt Selena’s bikini top gets pulled off and she is left topless much to the crowds delight.

Taylor pulls Selena up and angrily whips her into a corner and steps back to get a run up before launching forward and leaping up for a big splash but at the last minute Selena managed to get her feet up and Taylor ended up jumping right onto them, ramming into her gut and driving her back onto the mat, having knocked the wind from her. Selena leaned in the corner and forced herself up and as Taylor got up to a sitting position Selena came forward with a low dropkick right into her face and a cover for a two count. As they got up Selena saw the opening and ran forward to spear Taylor in the gut and as they landed covered her again for a very near two count with Taylor kicking out at the last possible moment. Selena pulled Taylor to her feet then lifted her up to drape over Selena’s shoulders before jumping and flipping Taylor at the same time to drive Taylor into the mat with an Attitude Adjustment and again a two count. Selena was dominating now and whipped Taylor to the ropes and caught her on her way back with a spine buster that drove the Champion down into the mat.

Taylor was really struggling now and rolled towards the ropes again to get away, Selena reached after her and grabbed the back of her bra top but Taylor pulled away and the top ripped off a leaving her topless too and again the lecherous crowd reacted big time to that as well. Once she realised her state of undress, Taylor’s first instinct was to cover up but as she did that Selena hit her with a baseball slide under the bottom rope that sent Taylor flying to the floor, cracking her head on the crowd barrier. Selena was right on top now and emphasised that fact by pulling her friend up by her ponytail , pushing her against the crowd barrier and firing off a series of hard, stinging chops to Taylor’s exposed, bare chest. She then went to whip Taylor similar to what she had done, into the side of the ring but Taylor reversed it and re-directed it and Selena ran straight into the outer ringpost! It was a brutal looking collision and the brunette slid down to her knees still facing the pole.

Taylor forced herself to her feet and had an angry expression on her face as she walked over behind Selena, grabbed her by the hair and used it to ram the younger girls face into the pole again. When she pulled Selena’s head back it was clear she had been cut open just above her right eye. Taylor pulled her up and threw her into the ring on her back and climbed in after her and covered her, while also lifting her feet onto the second rope for extra leverage. She might have got the win too but for the referee lifting her head at the two count and seeing Taylor’s cheating. It was an irate Miss Swift that hauled Selena back up and went back to the younger girl’s already injured back. Taylor lifted her up then dropped her back right across Taylor’s outstretched knee, pushing with her hands and bending the brunette obscenely.

Taylor used her long arms to increase the pain the hold was causing by placing one on Selena’s jaw and the other on her knee and pressing down as hard as she could. The referee asked Selena twice if she wanted to give up but got nothing is response. Eventually after more than a minute in that excruciating hold Taylor shoved her opponent off her knee and covered her for a desperately close two count. Getting more frustrated by the second Taylor picked Selena up and whipped her back first into a corner and this time walked in, climbed to the middle rope and stood over her and fired punch after punch down into the brunette’s busted open skull. She finished by posing to the crowd, lifting her blood speckled fist to her mouth and licking it. She got a shock though as Selena found a burst of energy and hooked her arms around Taylor’s thighs, powered up and staggered out from the corner to hit a powerbomb that rocked the Champion. Selena rolled atop her and got a two count before Taylor kicked out.

Both competitors were visibly tiring now and it was a lethargic Selena that got to her feet first and dragged Taylor with her then scooped her up, turned her upside down and tried to wriggle her into position for a Tombstone piledriver. But Taylor felt the move coming and used her long legs and body to overbalance Selena and reverse their position and sank to her knees herself driving the challengers skull into the canvas. Taylor fell forward onto Selena and the referee counted. ONE. TWO. THRE….No! Selena kicked out weakly at the very last moment possible before the refs hand came down for the third time!

The crowd cheered the kick out and then laughed as Taylor had a tantrum in the ring, slapping and kicking the mat like a spoiled child at not having just won. Finally, she composed herself and kicked Selena over onto her front and again sat down on her back and again reached forward to hook her in a camel clutch move to punish wounded back. Selena felt it coming and made a big effort to push her legs up under her and powered herself up onto her feet. Taylor kept her hands around her jaw though and used the situation to wrap her legs around Selena’s body and shifted her arm into snaking around Selena’s throat and suddenly she had a sleeper hold applied!

The camera zoomed in on Selena’s face and we were treated to a great shot of her face turning brighter and brighter red as her air was cut off and as blood dripped down one side of her face. She staggered and Taylor cinched the choke in harder and actually lifted Selena off her feet in it. On instinct Selena kicked her feet up and found the turnbuckle and used it to push back. Taylor held the move on but feel on her back and Selena rolled over, still in the choke and ended up pinning Taylor’s shoulders to the mat. The referee counted ONE.TWO.THREE!

Taylor had held the sleeper on as she knew Selena was nearly out but in doing so she had ended up pinned and we have a new World Heavyweight Champion in 18:01, SELENA GOMEZ!!

There is a huge crowd pop for the title change and for Taylor Swift’s nearly one year long title reign coming to an end. Taylor finally releases the sleeper and kneels there in stunned disbelief as it sinks in she has lost and watches as the referee helps Selena to her feet and hands her the World Title belt. Still groggy Selena holds the belt aloft, victorious before turning to offer a handshake to her friend. Taylor looked at the proffered hand for a few moments then stretched her own hand out and shook it then pulled Selena in for a big hug. Then in a split second Taylor wrapped her arms around Selena and threw her overhead with a crunching belly-to-belly suplex that saw Selena land hard on her new belt! The crowd booed Taylor’s actions but she just raised her top lip in a sneer at her ‘friend’ then lifted her up by her hair and jumped up to spike her with a DDT right on top of the belt. Selena’s body went limp on impact but that didn’t stop Taylor lifting her again and repeating the move. To a chorus of disapproval Taylor slowly exited the ring but once out she stopped appeared to reconsider and pulled back the ring apron and reached under the ring to lift out a familiar dufflebag. The one she always kept her strap on didlo’s in to humiliate opponents. She threw it into the ring then slid in after it and with Selena Gomez still motionless Taylor pulled out a huge, sandpaper covered strap on dildo and stepped into and tightened the harness around her own crotch. She kicked Selena over onto her face and positioned the title belt under her face and knelt behind her before ramming the grotesque dildo right up Selena’s pussy and she started to fuck / rape her hard and fast on the canvas whilst reaching forward to rub Selena’s bloodied face back and forth across the rough, metallic face of the championship belt. She kept this up for nearly five minutes and Selena’s entire face was coated in her own blood by then and her cunt would have been rubbed red raw.

At last Taylor got off her opponent and stood up to louder and louder boos, leaving Selena lying unconscious in a pool of her own blood beside the title belt, Taylor got a microphone and told the whole viewing audience.

“Congrats Sel, well done. Oh by the way we are never , ever, being friends again! Oh and I had a re-match clause in the contract and I will be taking it up at next months PPV. See you there bitch!”

And she dropped the microphone and stalked off as the PPV came to an end.

*

We’ll be back next with the annual BITCH BRAWL PPV and the card is looking like this:

SELENA GOMEZ V. TAYLOR SWIFT

JULIA ROBERTS & SANDRA BULLOCK V. JENNIFER ANISTON & MEGAN FOX

JENNIFER LAWRENCE V. SCARLETT JOHANNSSON (HUNGER GAMES MATCH0

ARIANA GRANDE V. NICKI MINAJ

MELISSA RAUCH V. KALEY CUOCO

STEPHANIE MCMAHON OPEN CHALLENGE

MAISIE WILLIAMS & SOPHIE TURNER V. SARAH HAYLAND & MILEY CYRUS

RITA ORA & RIHANNA V, JENNIFER LOPEZ & UIGGY AZALEA V. LILY JAMES & LILY COLLINS