SUMMERSLUTSLAM
BY DARK CLOUD
We start this night of action, drama and violence in the Federation with something we have not seen for quite some time – Angelina Jolie walking down the entrance ramp on her own. Not unassisted as she still walks with the aid of a cane due to the career ending injuries she suffered in her battles with former partner Megan Fox. Angelina is in top hat and tuxedo top with a bow tie and wearing fishnets and boots she looks just like comic character Zatanna and looks real sexy. She seems to enjoy the sustained reaction and response from the crowd. No doubt her good humour is also due to last month finally getting some measure of revenge on her hated nemesis Ms Fox. She strolls to the ring and stands in the middle, mic in hand to introduce her protégé.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to introduce the woman who will tonight end the myth of Megan Fox in this very ring – I give you Alicia Vikander!”
The 30 year old native of Sweden and latest on screen incarnation of Lara Croft steps through the entrance way and walks down the ramp to a nice ovation. The slim brunette has her long hair in a ponytail and is in vest and shorts similar to the character and slides into he ring and hugs her manager before lifting the ropes apart to allow Angelina to step through them more easily and take her place at ringside.
After a brief pause the normal ring announcer introduces Megan Fox. The raven haired psychopath emerges to a chorus of boos. She is one of the most hated women in the Federation due to the trail of broken bodies she had left behind her. Just last month she turned on her partner Jennifer Aniston and hospitalised her via a vicious, unprovoked attack. And it is a measure of how hated Megan is when someone equally as hated as Miss Aniston elicits sympathy from the audience. Megan is dressed in black leather bra top and shorts and is sporting a fetching Nazi SS officer’s hat that rather suits her disposition to others. She is also carrying a black clipboard with a sheet pinned to it that, after strutting down the ramp, she hands to the timekeeper, being careful to keep her distance from Angelina and that heavy headed cane she uses. She does blow her a kiss though, implying that Alicia and Angelina’s ambushing and torturing of her last month had made little long term impact on the 33 year old.
Once in the ring she goes nose to nose with her opponent as the referee tries to go over the rules. As he is doing so Megan turns, flings her fascist hat at Angelina and turns to slap Alicia. Alicia saw it coming though and blocks the blow and quick as you like turns it into a lightning fast arm drag that sends Megan spiralling across the canvas as the bell rings.. Alicia hits the ropes and rebounds just as an irate Megan gets to her feet, Alicia leaps and nails her with a beautiful dropkick to the face that send Miss Fox through the ropes to the floor. Alicia is up fast and pauses until Megan is rising then propels herself over the ropes to slam into Megan with a flying bodypress that has the crowd cheering their appreciation. Angelina is applauding her charge too. Megan is reeling and the babyface grabs her by her hair and slams her face against the announce table then turns and rams it into the ring post before rolling her back into the ring and covering her for a one count. Undeterred Alicia hits the ropes and comes back with a jumping legdrop for another count. She hauls Megan up and whips her hard into the corner and runs in after with a splash then steps back and lays in a series of sharp knife edge chops. But as each one lands a curious thing occurs – Megan starts smiling as she is hit!
As the fifth chop lands Megan positively laughs and blocks the next one and steps forward to hammer her knee up between the Swede’s thighs. Alicia staggers and crumples a little. Megan steps forward and rams her head between Megan’s thighs and lifts her for a powerbomb but drops her at a really sharp angle, almost on her neck. The crowd make a pained noise, Angelina almost comes into the ring and the referee pushes Megan back to check if Alicia has suffered a serious injury. Any doubts as to whether Megan meant that or not are removed by the black haired bitch laughing at the state her opponent is in on the mat. Thankfully Alicia begins to stir and reluctantly the referee steps away allowing Megan to pounce, she again rams Alicia’s head between her thighs and lifts her for a powerbomb but this time rather than drop her she runs across the ring and throws her back first onto the turnbuckle and watches as she crumples to the mat.
This has quickly turned ugly and it looks like it will get worse as Megan lifts Alicia again and drops her with a regulation powerbomb in the middle of the ring. She coveres her for the ONE..TWO..TH…
The count is broken not by a kick out but by Megan grinning and pulling Alicia’s arm up in a mockery of an escape. Megan grins at Angelina as she lifts Alicia up, flips her over and drops her with a Tombstone piledriver in the middle of the ring. Alicia is out, lying motionless on the mat as Megan rolls out of the ring, she makes a move towards Angelina but it is a fake out and instead she goes and grabs the ring announcer’s microphone. She tucks it into her shorts then re-enters the ring and drags a still motionless Alicia over to a corner and lifts and dumps her upside down on the turnbuckle. Megan climbs up too and everyone holds their breath as Megan pulls Alicia up and has her in position to deliver a Tomstone from the top turnbuckle. The crowd gasp and Angelina pleads with her not to do it. Scarily Megan shifts her position so she is holding Alicia with just one arm and lifts the microphone.
“Angie you old bitch, you old fucking cripple, get ready for your little friend to join you in the cripple brigade! Unless! Unless you get your crippled ass over there and take that clipboard. On it you will find a contract for a non sanctioned, lights out, anything goes match between me and you for next month!”
The crowd went hushed. Angelina looked stunned. She was retired, she was in no physical condition for another match and certainly not against someone as lethally dangerous as Megan Fox.
“You know I’ll do it bitch!” spat out Megan as she heaved Alicia up and prepared to drop off the top.
Angie looked panicked. She could not allow Megan to ruin Alicia’s life like this. She grabbed a second mic and answered.
“OK!OK! I’ll do it, just let her down and pin her!”
Megan smirked and nodded but waited where she was until Angelina moved around and took the clipboard and pen and signed it. Almost immediately Pippa Middleton appeared at ringside and took the contract away and once she had Megan climbed down from the turnbuckle and slammed Alicia onto the mat with a bodyslam. But she wasn’t quite finished with the hapless Swede. She tore off her vest top and threw it away exposing Alicia’s small, pert tits. Then she pulled off her shorts to leave her naked. Megan kneeled over her and slid her hand onto Alicia’s pussy and began to play with it and then lowered her lips onto Alicia’s and deeply French kissed her while the referee counted.
ONE.TWO.THREE.
The winner in a total of 6:35 is MEGAN FOX and it looks like we will have one last Fox /Jolie war to look forward to!
*
Backstage in Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton’s room there is quite the commotion as Pippa enters and shows off the signed contract. All Kate’s entourage and hangers on are in there as Kate takes the clipboard and laughs. Sister-in-law, Meghan Markle seems surprised at events.
“You knew that crazy bitch was going to do that!?”
Kate laughed.
“Let’s just say I had a tip off. I didn’t like how Angelina and Alicia interrupted my programming last month by kidnapping Megan. Not my plan. I like this though, I have no liability for what happens in that match now next month but I get the pleasure of presenting it. Perfect! Just the kind of thing my predecessor would not have thought of, eh Stephanie?”
The camera turns to show former owner of the Federation, Stephanie McMahon, naked save for a slave collar and chains around her body kneeling on the floor in the middle of the room. She is not completely defeated though as she flashes an angry look at Kate.
"Ow, what’s the matter Steph? Want to know what your match is tonight? Well let’s not delay any more shall we? Tonight your challenge is a loser gets shaved match. Didn’t think you’d like that. Andf your opponent? Oh that would be Charlotte Flair.”
The blonde wrestler comes over to stand beside Kate and looks at Stephanie with ill-disguised contempt. Meghan looks on too but looks faintly disappointed.
*
Next up in the ring is the clash of best friends for the Junior Heavyweight Championship, with Champion Maisie Williams defending against Sophie Turner. There two Game of Thrones alumni have tag teamed numerous times but this will be the first time they have ever stood across the ring against one another.
First out is the challenger and red haired Sophie strides confidently down the ramp, she is older, taller and heavier than her opponent and she feels as sure of victory as she looks. She is wearing a red one piece swimsuit and heads confidently into the ring to await the champion.
Maisie might have all the physical disadvantages over her friend but in one important area she is a bit ahead – she has experience of winning the big matches, hence why she holds her title. She emerges to a nice ovation in a plain black two piece with her title belt draped over her shoulder and she marches purposefully to the ring. Sophie never takes her eyes off her as she enters the ring and the two are soon standing across from one another as the referee takes and holds aloft the belt they will fight for. One bell ring later and we are underway.
It is a fast paced, high intensity opening as they trade arm bars with escapes until Sophie hits a chop to Maisie’s chest. She takes it and fires back with three of her own that send Sophie back against the ropes. Maisie charges and clotheslines her and they both go flying over the top rope to crash to the apron then the floor. Maisie is first up and she nips nimbly up to the apron before springing up with her feet onto the rope and flies backward with a picture perfect moonsault landing right on a just standing Sophie to flatten her and get a great ovation from the crowd. Maisie smiles and rolls her friend into the ring, waits until she rises then springs up to the top rope and leaps off with a flying bodypress that gets her a two count before Sophie kicks out. Sophie is looking pissed off but can’t seem to get any measure of control as Maisie is all over her, ducking an elbow, hooking the red head’s skull and driving it into the mat with a bulldog to get another two count. Maisie is all action and nips up then hits the ropes and returns with a leap and an attempt at a flying head scissors, but at the last moment Sophie blocks her momentum, turns around and drops Maisie on her back with a weak powerbomb – but it is enough to halt the champions relentless attack. Sophie has an angry look on her face as she gets up and she sets about demonstrating her clear power advantage in this match by lifting Maisie with a vertical suplex position, holding it for over ten seconds, letting the blood drop to Maisie’s head then, eventually dropping her hard on her back. No cover though, she knew that wouldn’t put her friend away. Instead she lifted Maisie and slammed her to the mat three times in succession before lifting her a fourth time but this time dropping her back first across Sophie’s outstretched knee in a backbreaker. The red head held her there, using her arms to push on either end of Maisie to bend her cruelly across her knee as the referee got in close and asked the petite brunette if she wanted to quit. She did not.
Sophie held her as long as she could before rolling her off her knee and making a cover that Maisie just kicked out of in time. Sophie was relentless and lifted her opponent up again and this time pulled her up to drape across her shoulders in a torture rack move. Sophie had her arms around Maisie’s neck on one side and knees on the other and bent her like a pretzel trying to squeeze a submission from her. Maisie was in audible agony but she would not quit and kept shaking her head and shouting out ‘no’. Tiring herself Sophie dropped her hands and fell backward to drop Maisie with a ring shaking Samoan drop that garnered her an ultra close two count. Sophie was visibly frustrated at not getting the win – she was so desperate to be a champion at last. She knelt there and remonstrated with the ref, claiming that was a three count but he shook his head in the negative. Then, from nowhere, when Sophie went to pull Maisie up the champion hooked the challengers head and leg and rolled her over for a small package that Sophie only just kicked out of before the three count.
Angry, Sophie punched Maisie then jerked her to her feet and whipped her to the ropes and raised her arm to hit a lariat clothesline. But Maisie ducked that and jumped up to wrap her legs around Sophie’s arms in a crucifix and roll her over for another extremely close two count. When they got up this time Maisie blocked Sophie’s attempted punch and hit her with a spin kick that doubled her over then jumped over her grabbing her hips on the way with a sunset flip, Sophie rolled through though and reversed the pining position and as the referee was counting Sophie lifted her feet behind her onto thw second rope to give extra leverage.
ONE.TWO.THREE.
And after 9:31 we have a new Junior Heavyweight Champion, SOPHIE TURNER. Maisie is totally unaware of Sophie’s cheating and actually congratulates her on her victory and can’t work out why the crowd are being so negative to her victory. Sportingly wanting to allow her great friend her moment in the spotlight a disappointed Maisie rolls out of the ring and trudges up the ramp disconsolately. Worse still when she reaches the top out pops Sarah Hyland, who she has had a bit of a running issue with and Sarah openly laughs at her loss. Maisie is not having that and takes a swing at Sarah but the Modern Family actress ducks it and trips Maisie and grabs her ankle and turns her over and begins to twist it viciously (this is the self same ankle Sarah has attacked previously). Sarah pours on the pressure and Maisie is howling and slapping the rampway. Sophie has exited the ring, with her belt over her shoulder and she slowly walks up the ramp, halts to look down at Maisie and just walks past and into the backstage area, doing nothing to aid her friend. While Sarah continues to torture that ankle even more…
*
We leave that shocking development for the results of another. Kristen Bell leads a cameraman behind her and enters a backstage dressing room. There are three people and two dogs in it. Nicki Minaj and Cardi B, having shockingly teamed up last month are sitting in chairs and sipping from champagne glasses and looking supremely smug. Between their chairs kneels poor Ariana Grande who, as a result of her tainted loss to former best friend Nicki last month, has spent the preceding four weeks as Nicki’s pet dog. And it showed. The usually happy-go-lucky, perky pop princess looks glum, beaten down and depressed, despite that, tonight marks the last night of her ordeal. Ariana is wearing a metal muzzle and a tight choke collar and leash and for the past month has been taken on naked walks, forced to piss against lampposts, eaten dog food and tonight will see her final humiliation. With a stunned Kristen Bell looking on Nicki shoves Ariana down on all fours and plucks out her butt plug (design like a dog’s tail) while Cardi busies herself removing the muzzle. They order Ariana to “stay” as they go and get the two real dogs, a couple of big German Shepherds.
We are left to guess what is going to happen next because the feed fades to black as the dogs are led over to where a shaking Ariana waits. When we are back to the arena the crowd boo vociferously, partly because they wanted to see what was going to happen and partly because of Nicki and Cardi organising such a despicable thing for poor Ariana.
*
And what an opportune moment for that other slave in the Federation to emerge? Stephanie McMahon emerges naked, her chest as flat as a pancake after her breast reduction surgery and tied in chains but on impossibly high heels she totters down the ramp led on by Kate Middleton. Kate is accompanied by Eva Green, Pippa Middleton, Meghan Markle and Jenna Coleman and they all get booed as they lead the helpless Miss McMahon to the ring. Between them they roll Stephanie into the ring before removing the chains, Steph has clearly been in them a long time as she rubs at herself to try and get circulation back as the announcements are made that this is a loser gets her head shaved match.
Charlotte Flair’s music hit and the statuesque blonde emerges and poses on the stage before descending the ramp. She looks super confident and smug and nods at Kate and her cronies as she steps between the ropes. The crowd boo throughout her entrance, they can see this is a farce and that it is not a fair contest but that rather is Kate’s point – she wants to degrade and humiliate Stephanie McMahon to the utmost level through her one years’ worth of slavery
Even if Stephanie hadn’t spent the last god knows how long in bondage, Charlotte is younger, taller and trained for this type of action so this would likely have been a squash anyway but given the stiff movements of the former owner of the Federation it’s a certainty. After shrugging off her robe the leggy blonde goes right up to Stephanie, nose-to-nose and very clearly states.
“I’m going to enjoy this you spoilt bitch….”
SLAP!!
But it wasn’t Charlotte that gave the stinging slap to the face it was Stephanie, summoning up her energy to give a blow that spun her opponent around as the bell rang. The crowd roared their approval of Steph’s defiance and got louder as she charged at Charlotte and backed her into a corner with flurry of punches. The blonde covered up though and the crowd groaned as she kicked Stephanie hard on her knee. Steph crumped to the floor and Charlotte gave her a rolling neck breaker. She stood up and posed then dragged Stephanie to her feet and backed her against the ropes and proceeded to lash in a series of brutally hard knife edge chops that turned Stephanie’s flat chest beet red. She finished by again clipping her former boss’s knee and dragged her to the middle of the ring and hooked on a figure four leglock. Stephanie sat up and screamed in agony but shook her head when the ref asked if she wanted to submit but as Charlotte then arched her back athletically into her figure eight manouivre Steph could take no more nad slapped the mat wildly and submitted.
The winner in 1:15 is Charlotte Flair. As she celebrates Kate and her mob get in the ring too and the Duchess gleefully hands Charlotte an battery powered shaver. Charlote pulls Stephanie to her knees and goads her with the shaver and makes to start shaving her head several times before stopping then eventually she turns and hands the implement to Kate saying “You deserve it boss.”
Once again Stephanie McMahon is in tears as she kneels there and Kate Middleton stands over her and slips the shaver into the front of her dark hair and pushes it back, cutting a thick swathe through her hair. Kate doesn’t go all the way back, instead she removes the shaver and places it beside the first strip and cuts a second and a third, shaving the front and top of Stephanie’s head bald but leaving the sides and back long. To be honest it looks ridiculous and far uglier than a full blown head shave but that seems to please Kate and she leave Stephanie like that and orders her to follow them as they finally all leave the ring to a chorus of boos from the crowd.
*
Backstage we find interviewer Cara Delavigne with a newcomer to The Federation, Blake Lively. The tall blonde is smirking as Cara speaks to her as if she knows she is better and more important than her and indeed she rudely cuts Cara’s introduction off and grabs the microphone from her hand.
“That is enough of that, no one wants to hear from you anyway now push off! Unimportant trash! Yes folks, that’s right I am here to enlighten your bleak little lives. To bring a modicum of class and polish to your undeserving eyes. I will make my in ring debut next month, I haven’t quite decided which low rent, trashy skank I will educate but maybe by the end of tonight you may have an inkling.”
Looks like we have another heel in the Federation.
*
Talking of heels we move now to Scarlett Johannsson who is being interviewed by Krysten Ritter.
“Scarlett, tonight you are seeking revenge for your loss last month to Jennifer…”
“It was her match! Her type of match! That’s the only reason I lost!”
“Well yes, I was going to say that tonight it’s a “Black Widow match, your choice. Care to let us know what that match entails?”
“No! You can find out at the same time as that bitch J-Law and by then it wall be too late for her!”
“Ok. Also it has been announced that the winner of this match will receive a World Title match at next month’s PPV so there is a lot riding on it.”
“Yeah, what a night I get to finish off that prissy bitch once and for all and then get a shot at the belt, keep watching!”
*
We return to ringside for the next match, a star filled World Tag Team Championship match. And first out are the challengers who have had multiple shots at the belts previously but always fallen short in the big match – Jennifer Lopez and Iggy Azalea. They are all business as they come down the ramp, they look fierce and determined that this will be their night. Both are wearing matching green two piece string bikini’s and despite the age difference both have amazing bodies. The crowd boo’s them but can’t help but appreciate their forms.
Out next are the champions, Sandra Bullock and Julia Roberts and they get a great ovation as they stand at the top of the ramp and hold their belts aloft. These good girls have fast become great favourites to the fans, especially after toppling and helping to split up the most hated tag team in history, Jennifer Aniston and Megan Fox. The champs are wearing matching cute, sky blue two piece bikini’s and they slowly make their way to the ring, soaking up the adulation from the fans.
Tired of waiting the challengers slip out of the ring and rush up the ramp and meet the champs with a flurry of punches and chops and the referee signals for the bell to ring with all four brawling on the ramp. J-Lo paired off with Sandra whilst Iggy and Julia brawled together. Both challengers were fired up and quickly gained the upper hand, Jennifer kicking Sandra low to double her over before tossing her off the ramp to smack into the crowd barrier. Iggy meantime turned her advantage into a suplex on the ramp dropping Julia hard on the sloping metal. Jen picked up one of the dropped belts and held it up as she jumped off the side of the ramp to slam the belt right into Sandra’s face! Sandra crumpled to the floor and when she looked up we can see she has been cut open above her left eye. Meantime Iggy has hauled Julia up, hooked her head and dropped her with a DDT on the ramp and less than a minute into the contest things are not looking good for the champs. Iggy dragged Julia by her hair down to ringside then viciously Irish whipped her into the ring steps, sending the steps flying and Julia crashing to the floor. At the next corner J-Lo has pulled Sandra to the ring also and pulls her up, stands behind her and proceeds to ram her bloodied face into the ring post repeatedly. When she is done Sandra’s pretty face is a bloody mess and she offers no resistance as Jen shoves her into the ring and rolls in after her. A cover follows, but somehow, through instinct, Sandra kicks out at two – much to J-Lo’s frustration. And that frustration is shown again as the normally methodical Latino superstar climbs up a turnbuckle, lines her opponent up and jumps off with a frog splash. At the last moment Sandra raises her knees up and Jenny smashes into them, gives a big cry out and rolls off holding her ribs and gasping. Seeing this Iggy forgets about Julia and climbs to her corner but the ref orders her to hold the tag rope as she stretches for a tag but she is too far away and can only shout out to her partner to try and get her to move over to make the tag.
Sandra drags herself, slowly from the mat and staggers to her feet just before J-Lo and slams a hard forearm shot into her ribs from the side that doubles her over and Sandra lifts and slams her to the mat and turns to check on her partner. Julia Roberts has slowly pulled herself up and is kneeling in their corner and when Sandra asks says she is good for a tag. With her face a crimson mask Sandra takes the tag and Julia enters the fray with a big kick to Jen’s ribs before lifting her up and clamping her arms around her with a big bearhug in the centre of the ring. Jen was in visible pain and distress but she was not in the mood to submit and strained her taut body against the crush and slowly managed to bring her arms up and jabbed her thumbs into Julia’s eyes to force her to break the hold. Gasping for breath J-Lo staggered over and just managed to slap the outstretched hand of Iggy. The blonde was considerably younger than all the other combatants and looked much fresher too as she vaulted the ropes and charged over to nail Julia with a clothesline. Iggy was a bundle of energy and she hauled Julia up, pushed her against the ropes and launched a salvo of vicious knife edge chops that echoed throughout the arena before roughly pulling of Julia’s bra top and just as viciously slapping her boobs up and down and side to side. Iggy finally backed up and ran at her foe and this time clotheslined her up and over the top rope to crash to the floor at ringside.
With her opponent down Iggy took the chance to pose in the ring to rile up the crowd before she climbed up the turnbuckle, waited for Julia to rise then leapt off with a double axe handle blow. But Julia saw it coming and stepped back and caught Iggy and in one fluid movement spun around and slammed her to the concrete with a high impact belly-to-belly suplex. The crowd loved that and cheered and encouraged Julia back to her feet and as she tossed Iggy back in the ring. Once back in Julia tossed Iggy to the ropes and caught her on her return with another crushing belly-to-belly that surely would have got the win had J-lo not entered and kicked Julia off her partner. Julia looked up and saw Sandra wanting the tag and stretched out to accept it. Sandra’s face was a bloody mess but it looked to have stopped bleeding at least, other than that she was primed and ready to go having recovered from the attack at the start of the match. Iggy had rolled onto her front and Sandra ran over and dropped and elbow on her back and from there manoeuvred into a crossface that pulled the blonde’s head back and she demanded a submission. She strained and pulled as hard as she could and Iggy was in clear distress but she wouldn’t give up, instead she slowly crawled, inch by inch towards the bottom rope at her side and finally stretched out to grab it and force the break.
As Sandra was releasing the hold Jennifer took a swipe at her and distracted her and Sandra turned to remonstrate. It was the break the heels needed and Iggy turned and fired a punch up between Sandra’s thighs. The effect was instant and Sandra went still then dropped to her knees. Iggy reached out and tagged J-Lo in. She ran in and nailed Sandra with a running kick to the face to flatten her before she kneeled over and pounded her face with a flurry of hard punches with Jenny targeting the cut and opening it up again. She then threw Sandra into the ropes and captured her on her return with an arm around her neck and into a sleeper hold. It made for quite the visual as the camera focussed on Sandra’s face, blood seeping down the side of it, her eyes barely open and struggling to stay conscious as Jennifer Lopez poured on more pressure. Just as it looked like Sandra was about to sink to her knees she managed to shift her position and get abit behind J-Lo and lift and drop her with a back suplex. That broke the hold but it was still Jennifer that was up first and she pulled Sandra up by her bloody hair and whipped her to the ropes again with intentions of applying a second sleeper hold. Sandra somehow managed to duck it and hit the ropes again and went for a cross body but it was a bit off and she ended cracking heads with J-Lo, leaving them both down as the ref started a slow count. At eight they struggled to their feet via the ropes and Jennifer was close enough for Iggy to reach out and tag her arm to get herself back in. She charged at Sandra but Miss Bullock caught her and dropped back, hotshotting Iggy’s throat right across the top ope. Sandra rolled over and made the tag to Julia who nipped up to the top turnbuckle and leapt off with an incredible legdrop landing right across Iggy and made the cover.
ONE.TWO.THREE.
The winners in 14:52 and still World Tag Team Champions are JULIA ROBERTS and SANDRA BULLOCK.
A battered and bruised champions receive their title belts back and hold them aloft in celebration but as they are doing do Nicki Minaj and Cardi B race down the ramp, slide into the ring behind them and attack them. The rappers beat Sandra and Julia down and quickly enough J-Lo and Iggy join in for a real beating. Nicki has the collar and leash she used on Ariana with her and attaches it around Julia’s throat then she and Cardi toss her over the top rope but hold onto the leash and effectively hang her with it!
Meantime J-Lo and Iggy have got the belts and placed one on the mat, positioned Sandra’s head on it then placed the other belt on top of her head and Iggy holds Sandra in place while Jennifer ascends the turnbuckles and jumps off with a double foot stomp onto the belt, driving it into Sandra’s head and cruelly sandwiching it between the belts. That was a devastating move and when Jenny steps away and the belts slide off we can clearly see Sandra is out of it, completely unconscious, so she leaves Iggy to strip Sandra naked and slides out of the ring and as Julia desperately tries to gain a foothold she yanks off her panties as she hangs then picks up a steel chair and slams it repeatedly into Julia until she stops trying either to defend herself or prevent her hanging. The crowd are irate at what is happening but no one does anything as Nicki and Cardi pull Julia back into the ring, take off the collar and then shove Julia’s face down so that it sits right between Sandra’s thigh in her crotch. The heels rub her face back and forth for fun before posing over the humiliated Champions forms.
*
Elsewhere, Krysten Ritter is with Jennifer Lawrence and leads the interview off with.
“So Jen, do you know what this Black Widow match is?”
“I do not Krysten, all I do know is that if it came from the mind of that sick bitch Scarlett then it will be pretty awful. Does not matter though because as I proved last month I can beat her one-on-one in any kind of environment.”
“And Jen, if you do beat Scarlett Johannsson tonight you now know that you would gain a World Title shot at the War Games PPV next month. What are your thoughts on that?”
“I don’t want to get ahead of myself but I do have unfinished business with the World Title and with Taylor Swi…”
She broke off as Selena Gomez came into view right across from her. The former champion and tonights challenger for the Title closed in and went literally nose-to-nose with J-Law before asking.
“Against who? Because if you do win later tonight you can guarantee it will not be Taylor Swift you will face next month, it will be me!”
“You’d better hope so anyway Selena, because if it isn’t this time next month you’re not going to be worrying about title defences are you? More like you will be worry how many perverts out there have watched your pornstar debut!”
*
We then see a video montage showing the Kaley Cuoco / Melissa Rauch feud which will come to an end next. From their happy days as partners, to winning the title belts to Melissa’s injury to Melissa’s return and shocking heel turn on her best friend it’s all there including how Melissa has owned and abused Kaley at the previous two shows.
.
It’s a friendship gone real bad and it will come to a definite conclusion tonight as the loser of this Last Woman Standing match will be banished from the Federation for good! First out is Kaley Cuoco and it would appear that if it is the leggy blonde’s final appearance tonight she will go out memorably as she is wearing the tiniest of tiny red two piece bikini’s and has a big smile on her face. Observers have suggested she has been too timid in facing her former friend and partner up to now and she definitely cannot afford that tonight. Melissa makes quite the entrance too, the diminutive blonde appears on the ramp astride a motorcycle and clad all in black leather and speeds down to park at ringside. She gets off the bike and we can see her outfit is a leather bra top and shorts and boots, she takes off her helmet and sets it on the handlebars before rolling into the ring and sneering at her former friend. Kaley doesn’t just take that though and flips Melissa the bird and calls her a ‘poison dwarf’. That actually riles Melissa up and she charges at Kaley who sidesteps her lunge and trips her as the referee calls for the bell. Melissa was livid and got straight back up but Kaley was waiting with a beautiful spinning roundhouse kick to the back of her head that sent her down again, and this time the referee started to count her down.
He got to five before Melissa scrambled to her feet and ducked under the ropes to ringside to get herself together. Kaley wasn’t going to allow that though and ran the ropes and slid out to nail her with a baseball slide then picked her up and slammed her hard on the concrete floor and demanded the referee start the count again. He got to eight but Mel was on all fours before that taking advantage of the count and she popped up then dropped and rolled under the ring, disappearing from sight. Kaley slapped the apron in frustration but decided not to pursue her under there. There was a pause for a few moments then her hand appeared and Kaley went to drag her out but as Melissa came she brought with her a bundle of cables that she lashed against the side of her opponent’s head! Kaley staggered back, stunned and Melissa nipped out and looped the cables over Kaley’s head and used them to choke her. Kaley struggled but couldn’t escape, fortunately the bundle of cables was pretty unwieldy so it wasn’t to severe a choke but it did allow Melissa to drag Kaley around the ring and fling her into the ringpost. As Kaley dropped to her knees Melissa took a run up and delivered a really solid punt between her thighs then pushed Kaley over with her foot and ordered the ref to start his count. He got to seven before Kaley pulled herself up. However, Melissa was waiting for her and had pulled herself up to the apron behind her and as Kaley rose Melissa ran and leapt off with a dropkick to the back of Kaley’s head that shot her forward to smack into the ringpost hard. By the time Melissa was up and pulled Kaley up by her hair she was busted wide open on her forehead. Melissa’s face burst into a huge smile at the damage she had wrought and celebrated by ramming Kaley’s face again into the post then catching her head in a reverse DDT and dropping her like that on the outside. Melissa sat up looking satisfied with herself and instructed the ref to count again.
This time Kaley only barely made it to her feet at the count of nine and found herself immediately back down as Melissa kicked her legs from under her and dragged her around the ring by her hair where she slammed Kaley’s face on the top of the re-assembled ring steps. Then Melissa lifted off the top section of the steps, positioned Kaley so her left leg was on top of the bottom half and to the horror of the crowd dropped the top section right down onto to Kaley’s leg, sandwiching it between the sections before pressing down on it. Long term fans of the Federation will recall that Kaley had her leg broken twice previously due to arch nemesis Jennifer Aniston and for Melissa to go after it so callously was shocking to see, Kaley screamed as Melissa lifted the top steps and rammed them down again before finally stepping away and letting the referee make his count, sure that this time this really was the end.
Everyone else clearly thought so too as there was a hush through the arena as the count slowly ascended. But with a burst of energy as eight was called Kaley somehow scrambled unsteadily to her feet and grabbed the ring to stay upright. Melissa fumed and raced around the ring to resume her attack, however, Kaley’s bust of energy had last a little longer and she grabbed the ring steps and lifted them up so that the smaller blonde ran face first into them, knocking her down! Despite this break Kaley was limping heavily now as well and bleeding and seemed well behind in the contest. She hobbled around the ring and came to Melissa's motorbike and grabbed the crash helmet, stuck it on her head and moved back towards her opponent and just as Melissa got up Kaley lowered her head and ran and drove the helmet right into Melissa’s gut!
What an impact! Melissa literally flew back and slammed against the crowd railing then slid down to her ass enough for the referee to start counting her down. She just made it up after the eight count but Kaley flew at her again and this time the helmet smacked into Melissa’s face full on. She seemed out before she hit the ground. Kaley wasn’t content with that though and lifted Melissa up, pulled her over to where her motorbike was then hoisted her up and suplexed her right onto the bike seat! Melissa slid off to the side just before the bike toppled over on top of her and the referee’s ten count that followed was a virtual formality.
The winner in 11:32 is KALEY CUOCO and as a result of her loss Melissa Rauch must now leave the Federation forever. From the way the crowd is celebrating it’s doubtful she will be much missed.
*
Backstage in the owners room all Kate Middleton’s cronies are crowding round Stephanie McMahon admiring her horrific new hair cut and congratulating Kate for her handiwork. Well all except Megan Markle who cannot let her favourite subject go.
“I still don’t get why you didn’t have her compete in a loser gets branded match Kate. I mean don’t you want your revenge?”
Kate is clearly getting to the end of her tether with her sister-in –law and wheels round to address her.
“I’ll tell you what Meg, we can have that match in Steph’s challenge next month. Loser gets branded on the ass, and YOU can be my representative. That suit you? Good, now shut up about it and glory in Steph’s new..oh what the hell?”
The Duchess has broken off assomeone has just barged into their room and is creating a rumpus. It is an irate Beyoncé Knowles.
“Where is she? Come on Duchess tell me the stip! Tell me!”
Of course last month Beyoncé had rudely demanded a rematch with Rihanna and had got it from the owner of the Federation but Kate had insisted she would add the stips on the night and since then Beyoncé had gotten angrier and angrier that she wouldn’t say what they were. Kate moved away from Meghan and Stephanie to confront Beyoncé.
“You want to know the stips Bee? Fine, why don’t you make your way down to the ring right now because your re-match is next and I will be along shortly to let you and the whole world know what type of match you are having!”
Beyoncé looked fit to take a swing at the owner but managed to control herself and muttered “fine” and stormed away towards the ring.
The camera follows her but stops as it comes across a tired, bloody but ecstatic Kaley Cuoco about to be interviewed by Melissa Joan Hart backstage.
“Wow Kaley, what a feeling for you! You are still in the Federation after that great victory. Tell us how you feel?”
“Well, I…”
Kaley breaks off as another figure, that of Blake Lively, comes right up to her, she takes a long drag on her cigarette and blows it in Kaley’s face before speaking.
“You thought that was good? From where I sat you were lucky and I’ll be happy to show you what greatness actually is next month if you are free.”
Kaley looks mad at the interruption and wafts the smoke out of her face before she responds.
“First off, who the hell are you? A no-one that has done nothing. Second if you continue blowing smoke in my face I will…aaaaargh!!!!”
At this last comment Blake has casually removed the cigarette from her lips and as Kaley spoke she stabbed the lit end right into her unsuspecting eye! Kaley screamed and dropped to her knees holding her face and crying in agony as Blake stood over her and smirked then walked away having definitely made her mark on the Federation on her debut.
*
By this time an irate Beyoncé had made it to the ring and was impatiently pacing it looking fit to burst. Finally Kate Middleton emerged at the top of the ramp with microphone in hand.
“I promised you your rematch tonight Beyoncé and despite your rudeness I am a woman of my word. Tonight you will face Rihanna.”
At this announcement Rihanna emerged on the stage and stood beside Kate as she continued.
“But I did warn you that I would not announce the stipulations for your rematch until tonight. Well Bee, there are three stipulations for me to announce. First, I am going to act as the special guest referee for this match! Second, that the loser of this match has to work in a local brothel, as their cheapest priced whore for the next month! Oh and the third and final stipulation, this is a handicap match, where Rihanna can pick her partner. So RiRI over to you, who do you pick?”
Kate ignored the booing from the crowd and Beyoncé’s incredulous look from the ring and passed the mic to a smiling Rihanna.
“Well thank you Your Royal Highness, it’s tough because I’ve got three names in mind to join me.”
“Well pick them all, I never said how much of a handicap match this was going to be, did I?”
“OK, my partners are Rita Ora, Eva Green and Pink!”
As Rihanna said each name the woman came onto the ramp beside her. The last name drew a huge gasp as Pink hadn’t been seen since Beyoncé bloodily destroyed her on PPV and the tough, racist blonde looks hungry for revenge. The foursome follow Kate down the ramp and as Kate rolls into the ring Beyoncé is right up in her face accusing her of “setting her up” and “fitting her up”. She shoves Kate but as she does Kate’s bodyguard, Eva blocks her and jams her hand into Beyoncé’s throat for a chokeslam. Beyoncé breaks that and shoves Eva away as Kate signals for the bell. Rita rushes Beyoncé but she back drops her and turns to face down Rihanna and for a brief moment she gets her hands on her hair and starts rag dolling her but then Pink nails her with a low blow from behind to halt her offense. And as Beyoncé absorbs that Eva locks her hand around her throat again and lifts and slams her with a huge chokeslam. Rita kneels beside Beyoncé and hammers in a flurry of punches to her face before getting up and grabbing an ankles and pulling it apart, Pink gleefully grabs and spreads the other as Rihanna climbs up to the top turnbuckle. She jumps off with a high knee that lands right between Beyoncé’s thighs that totally winds her. The other three then haul Beyoncé up and perform a triple team powerbomb that smashes Beyoncé’s back on the mat while Rihanna again climbs and leaps off the turnbuckle, this time with an elbow drop and a cover that Kate drops to slap a quick fire count. But Beyoncé still manages to kick out at two!
To what end though? As the four women take turns holding Beyoncé’s arms behind her back as she kneels and one of them just beats on her with bare fists for twenty seconds or so until they are tired and then they swap with a fresh woman. This is just an ugly, brutal beatdown and when they finally relent Beyoncé just falls forward on her face
The fans are booing like crazy. They hate this treatment of one of their favourites but that just seems to inspire the heels on. Rihanna kicks Beyoncé over on to her back and poses over her before lowering her ass down towards her face. From somewhere Beyoncé pushes her legs up and hooks Rihanna’s arms and rolls her over into a pin but of course, Kate Middleton is painfully slow in going to count and Rihanna easily kicks out just after one. Pink, Rita and Eva then stomp the hell out of Beyoncé and then each grab an arm with Eva pinning Beyonces legs together as Rihanna once more squats over her rival and this time sits right down on her face. She rubs her ass and her crotch back and forth across Beyoncé’s face before going for a full, sit down smother, engulfing Beyoncé’s nose and mouth beneath her ass. The other’s keep hold of Beyoncé’s limbs to ensure she has no escape There are some signs of struggle for a few moments then Beyoncé’s goes still and the heels laugh and joke as Rihanna maintains her ass smother for a full minute. When she stands up her opponent is clearly unconscious and Rihanna makes her pin standing with her foot on Beyoncé’s face. Kate is only too happy to count.
ONE.TWO.THREE.
The winner of this farce in 2:11 is RIHANNA. Kate holds her arms aloft in victory before four shifty looking Hispanics hurry down to ringside. These guys work for the pimp that will now own and operate Beyoncé from his low rent brothel for the next 30 days, Kate tells us over the microphone and cutting through the loud booing she promises that we will have a video diary of Beyoncé’s time as a prostitute on next month’s War Games PPV.
*
Backstage we find Krysten Ritter with Taylor Swift for an interview, as is usual Krysten does not mince her words.
“Taylor, safe to say a lot is riding on this match tonight. You lose and it is bye bye to your title and hello to the world of hardcore pornography. All this inside the most dangerous structure in our business – Hell In A Cell. Selena has won one match, you have won one match tonight is the decider. What are your thoughts at this time?”
Taylor smiles benignly at the question, as if she pities Krysten for asking it.
“Well I can guarantee you that it won’t be me making a gang bang vid, the role SO suits Selena! And this (indicating the World title belt over her shoulder) is going nowhere. That little bitch got lucky once, that’s all she gets. Tonight her luck finally runs out completely and I get to physically destroy her and when she does actually recovers she enters the porn business, and I think that she will fit in there perfectly!”
“Got any cheats or surprises lined up, you are renowned for them?”
“I don’t know what you mean. You really are not respectful enough to your World Champion.”
Taylor turns to go then laughs and turns back.
“But yes, I do have a little ‘surprise’ for you all.”
And with that she does leave, looking supremely confident.
*
Back to the ring for a huge singles match-up.
Just before stepping through the curtain, Gal Gadot is greeted by her friends Melissa Benoist, Katie Cassidy and Amber Heard and each give her a hug and wish her well in her upcoming match. Amber pats her shoulder and says.
“Do it for DC,” just before Gal steps away and strides through the curtain and marches down the ramp.
It’s a happier, more confident looking Gal we see than we have seen for months now that her toxic feud with Kim Kardashian is finally at an end. Her long black hair is fully grown back and she is clad in her Wonder Woman outfit as she takes the crowds cheers and jumps up to the apron and salutes them.
Backstage a similar scene is taking place as Brie Larson steps forward and is encouraged by Zoe Saldana, Karen Gillan and Elizabeth Olsen. Brie just nods but is clearly focussed on her upcoming match and marches out onto the ramp and walks purposefully towards the ring. Brie is clad in her full Captain Marvel outfit but once she is standing at the ring she rips it off to reveal a much skimpier, two piece bikini version in the same colours of red, blue and yellow. Fans cheer that move and get louder as the blonde slides into the ring and goes toe to to toe with Gal in the centre of the ring. We can see how well matched they are, Gall is older at 34 to Brie’s 30 and slightly taller at 5’10 to Brie’s 5’9”. Sensing neither is about to back down the referee turns and signals for the bell and this superhero star showdown is officially underway!
After a couple more seconds of an intense staredown the two locked up with a titanic knuckle lock that saw them both struggle to gain an advantage. Neither backed down, neither gave an inch, both were gritting their teeth and ultra intense. In a flash things changed, Brie relaxed her hold suddenly and pulled Gal towards her, then rolled onto her back, planted her feet in Gal’s midsection and flipped the brunette high up and over her head to crash on her back on the mat. The crowd loved that and cheered further when Gal angrily got to her feet and was met with a beautiful,high dropkick that sent the Wonder Woman through the ropes to fall to the floor. Brie paused a moment until Gal rose then hit the opposite ropes, rebounded back and sped towards the ropes and flew through them with a dive. Unbelievably though Gal caught her on her flight, spun and powerslammed her hard down onto the concrete floor!
The fans also loved that and just got louder as Gal pulled Brie up then lifted her in a military press and walked around the ring before hurling her through the ropes to roll into the ring. Gal got in the ring behind her and pulled Brie up by her hair to her knees, stuffed Brie’s head between her thighs and went to lift her for a powerbomb. But the blonde struggled and blocked it, then in quite the show of strength powered up, lifting Gal with her until it looked like she could backdrop her but instead lashed her body forward, whipping Gal’s back down into the mat hard. Brie picked Gal up and whipped her with unbelievable velocity into the far side corner turnbuckle, enough so that Gal almost bounced out of the corner after hitting. That allowed Brie to absolutely level her with a lariat clothesline that near decapitated her. In control now Brie decided to prove to everyone she was every bit as powerful as Gal and hoisted her up into a Military Press and began to walk around the ring with her up there, but Gal wriggled and managed to shift her position to clamber down Brie’s back and bring her over into a pinning position which she kicked out of at one. They both got up sharply but Gal took the advantage with a kick to the gut then dropped Brie with a lightning fast DDT that laid the blonde out on the canvas. Gal was in control now and pulled Brie up until she lolled on her knees, whereupon Gal hit her with a hard Yakuza kick with the sole of her boot smacking against Brie’s cheek and sending her down again. Gal picked her up and carefully slammed her in the middle of the ring then ascended the turnbuckle to leap off with a huge elbowdrop of the top that got a close two count before Brie kicked out. Gal leaned on the ropes and watched her opponent slowly struggle up before running over and launching a running knee right into her face that sent Brie rolling over the mat and out to clatter down the unforgiving floor. The referee started a count but Gal stopped him by climbing out of the ring herself, no way did she want a cheap win like that. Instead she hauled Brie to her feet and lashed in a number of hard, knife edge chops up against the ring apron. Then she went past her turned, grabbed her head and went for a Bulldog headlock on the floor. Brie grabbed the apron though and stopped her progress so it was just Gal that hit the floor, landing badly on her tailbone.
As she rolled around in pain holding her delectable ass Brie marched over and pulled Gal up then whipped her into the crowd retainer, she then peeled the brunette off the metal barrier and lifted her up into a suplex position and held her up! She held her up for ages and actually walked around the ring like that until she was at the bottom of the ramp then dropped the suplex, landing Gal’s back right on the ramp! Brie was fired up now and barely gave her foe a moment’s rest before pulling her up, lifting her for a powerbomb then running at the ring and powerbombing her on the edge of the apron. Gal was in real trouble now but Brie was showing no signs of letting up, she pulled Gal by her hair until both were standing on the apron, again flipped Gal over for a powerbomb and just as it looked like she was going to do it from there to the floor, turned and threw her up and over the ropes. Brie seemed to be getting stronger as the match went on and she easily vaulted up and over the top rope back into the ring and pulled a tired Gal to her feet once again and this time the blonde lifted the brunette up and over her shoulders into a torture rack and began to pour on pressure with all her might.
Gal held out for a small while before eventually crying out and tapping out.
The winner in 8:53 is BRIE LARSON, and she looked bloody good in doing so and as she poses in the ring taking the crowds adulation.
*
Before the first of our two huge main event matches the viewing audience at home are shown selected highlights of tonight’s earlier ‘dark’ match which saw the Federation debut of Zendaya Coleman as she fought Camila Cabello in a fast paced singles match before the main show aired. The young up and coming, superstars were having a hell of a match that the crowd was getting invested in when Camila hit a perfect moonsault from the ring to nail Zendaya on the floor. She rolled Zendaya in when suddenly she was attacked by someone that jumped out of the crowd, it was Normani, her former bandmate in Fifth Harmony. The black girl is ultra aggressive and drives her knee right into Camila’s back then grabs her and rams her face repeatedly into the ringpost, she just keeps going and going. The ref eventually calls for the bell and tries to stop Normani’s assault but it actually takes Zendaya coming out as well to prize Normai of a by now bloody and battered Camila.
*
Back to the ring and we see technicians setting the ring up for the ‘Black Widow’ match. Only now are the rules being revealed. The ring ropes have all been copiously wrapped in electrified wire, similar to that used in field for animals. Positioned at the top of the entrance ramp is an electrified cattle prod that is currently locked in a display case, it will be unlocked when the bell sounds to start the match. The only way to win this match is to place and hold that cattle prod in one of your opponents orifices (mouth, ass or pussy) for a three count. The final stipulation is announced that the loser of this match will be subjected to 48 hours of extreme, professional torture immediately after the match with a couple of sadistic experts from Mossad administering the treatment.As the crowd process this extreme information they are treated to a lengthy video package detailing the long, traumatic history between Scarlett Johannsson and Jennifer Lawrence, finishing with footage from their extreme fire based ‘Hunger Games’ match just last month. This will be the final chapter in these two women’s long running feud.
The final stipulation for this match could be it’s harshest, both competitor must start the match completely naked!
First to this deadly ring is the heel, Scarlet Johannsson. She is wearing her Black Widow costume of slinky, black, PVC catsuit as she strolls down the ramp but unzips it and steps sexily from it before rolling under the ropes and springing up in the middle of the ring. The ropes have not been switched on yet. Then we get a huge ovation as Jennifer Lawrence appears on the stage wearing a red robe that she discards as she sprints down the ramp and flings herself under the ropes. Scarlett drops on her immediately and starts punching her and with that the referee signals for the bell and for the wire on the ring ropes to be electrified. It lights up to show this is now in place. Then a second referee appears on the stage and unlocks the case on the stage so that the cattle prod can now be accessed. Not that either combatants is thinking of that right then as they are flat out cat fighting on the mat! The two of them have handfuls of each other’s hair and were rolling about on the mat tugging and tearing for all they were worth. J-Law got the advantage and pulled out a clump for Scarlett’s dirty blonde hair with a wrench and a scream but Scarlett retaliated immediately with a scratch across Jennifer’s face that left three deep, ugly red furrows, and as Jennifer felt at her stinging face Scarlett struggled to her feet and drove her knee into the side of her opponent’s head. She slumped down on her front and Scarlett steadied herself then brutally stamped her foot down repeatedly to the back of Jennifer’s skull, driving her face again and again into the mat. The fans booed when Scarlett finally relented but she flipped them the middle finger before pulling Jen to her feet and going to whip her into the ropes. At the last possible moment Jennifer reversed the move and it was Scarlett that flew, back first into the ropes.
The effect was instant as an electric charge went right through Scarlett’s body and it jiggled and shook spasmodically before she stumbled forward off the ropes and walked into a clothesline that levelled her. Jennifer made a pin but the referee reminded her that pinfalls were no use in this match. Smiling to herself at that mistake Jen pulled Scarlett up by her hair (pulling another little tuft out that she has loosened earlier) then hooked her arm over Jen’s and went to try and suplex her. On instinct Scarlett blocked the move with her leg, J-Law tried again but Scarlett blocked again and instead reversed it lifting Jennifer up for a suplex. Only she didn’t drop her on her back, instead Scarlett turned and dropped Jennifer back down, crotching her on the top rope, her legs sliding down either side of it! Now it was Miss Lawrence jumping and jolting as the electricity hit her and unlike Scarlett earlier there was no easy way off her uncomfortable perch. She cried out as she was zapped again and again and tried to fight through it to get herself off the ropes. Scarlett watched until she saw Jennifer nearly free then ran over and hit her with a running forearm that sent her flying off the ropes and crashing to the floor!
Jennifer lay on the floor still shaking from her electric ordeal but Scarlett was pacing about the ring wondering what was the best way to get out of the ring to follow up her advantage. She tried a couple of attempts but was visibly deterred as she got a tiny zap each time she tried to exit the ring. And then J-law rolled onto her front and slowly began to crawl around the ring and started up the ramp towards the cattle prod! This hurried up Scarlett’s ideas and she settled on placing two hands on the top rope briefly as she vaulted over and landed on the apron then ran over to drop an elbow right down onto Jennifer’s lower back. Scarlett squatted beside where J-Law’s face lay on the metal ramp and picked her head up by her long blonde hair then smashed it down into the metal and then she pressed down and brutally rubbed her face back and forth on the metal before finishing by smashing it down again. She then wiped her hands together as if she had taken care of business and pulled an unmoving Jennifer up to her feet then lifted her up onto her shoulders and jogged down the ramp and propelled J-Law head first into the ropes of the ring. Of course her head and arms got tangled up in the electrified wire!
J-Law was left in a very exposed position with her legs dangling through the ropes as she was blasted with lots of little shocks. Scarlett paused and thought about following up but instead hurried up the ramp to take the cattle prod from its case. Everyone could see that there was a great chance for using it to win the match there and then. Jennifer must have sensed that too as her struggles in the ropes and wire became more frantic and just as Scarlett made it back down to ringside Jennifer managed to ignore the electricity and pull her legs through the ropes and into the ring. She knelt on the canvas panting as Scarlett stared daggers at her from outside, the cattle prod poised to be used. This was a problem for Scarlett though as to press home her advantage she now needed to get into the ring and that presented difficulties. But the longer she waited the more Jennifer would recover. Scarlett took a run at it and tried to slide under the bottom ropes but got zapped on her ass, Jen saw this and scurried over to kick the cattle prod from Scarlett’s hand to the outside and forcibly held Scarlett in place so she continually got zapped on the ass. Only when Scarlett lashed out with a fingernail and scratched Jennifer’s face did she break the hold and Scarlett pulled herself in.
They both slowly got to their feet, both women had looks of absolute hatred for their opponents etched on their faces and when they were up they pounced at each other, again forgetting any fighting skill just resorting to the basest instincts and catfighting each other, clawing at each other with their nails, pulling the other’s hair, spitting and cursing. The crowd loved it.
They end up rolling away from each other and struggling to their feet again, Scarlett grinds her teeth and charges, Jen advances and catches her in a bear hug, lifts her up and drops her backward so that Scarletts falls forward onto the dropping Jen but crucially she ends up being hotshotted onto the top rope – the electrified top rope! Jen rolls to her feet but Scarlett is stil laying across the top rope, throat first and being zapped mercilessly. Jennifer leans on Scarlett’s back and forces and holds Scarlett’s torso onto the ropes too, increasing the pain flowing through her body. Then using Scarlett’s back as a ladder Jennifer climbs up and leaps out of the ring over the ropes and hurries around to grab the cattle prod. She nimbly leaps back up to the apron and holds Scarlett’s head in place still on the ropes and leaps up and over Scarlett to get back in the ring without touching the ropes.
Scarlett is still laid across the ropes and the camera catches that she is close to being out of it. Certainly she makes no move as J-Law kicks her legs apart, grabs the cattle prod and drives it up Scarlett’s cunt and turns it on! Jennifer keeps the prod up there and Scarlett is catatonic now, jiggling spasmodically on the ropes, her face glazed over and drool escaping her mouth. Finally the referee wrestles Jennifer away and pulls the cattle prod out.
The winner in 7:51 is JENNIFER LAWRENCE and given the last few months it is pretty clear that she is the better woman and has convincingly won she and Scarlett’s blood feud.
*
Backstage the one interviewer brave enough (and willing) to interview Megan Fox, Krysten Ritter, enters Megan’s dressing room, mic in hand and asks her for a second. Just the look on Megan’s face would have been enough to scare off any of the others but Krysten barged in and fired off her question.
“Megan, can you tell us just what you are up to? Challenging someone that is medically…uuuurghhh!
Krysten got no further as Megan’s hand shot out and chopped her hard in the throat. Krysten had been reaching for her Taser as the attack came but she was too slow. Megan grabbed the Taser and flung it away before grabbing the interviewer by the back of her head and smashing her face into the tiled wall. The manic looking Megan pulled Krysten’s head back then slammed it forward again, and again and again. In total Krysten’s face was slammed into the tiles fifteen times and by the time Megan relented Krysten’s face was a bloody mess, her nose busted open and her eyes glazed over. But Megan wasn’t done, she dragged Krysten across the floor to a toilet cubicle and shoved her face into the toilet bowl and placed her hand on the back of Krysten’s head to keep her in the water and snarled out.
“I do what I want, when I want and to who I want and you don’t get to question me!”
Finally a group of officials charge in and have to physically pull Megan off her victim as it looked the crazed brunette was not going to stop drowning the interviewer!
*
We are then treated to a long video package detailing the Main Event, from the days of Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez being besties, to Selena winning the Royal Rumble, to her winning the Main Event at Bitchmania but then being attacked and humiliated after by former champ Taylor, to their re-match last month, won by Taylor recapturing the belt and forcing Selena into a fucking machine for the night and now tonight, inside a Hell in A Cell cage there will be a third, deciding, rubber match. And the loser will not only have been seen to lose this feud, to have lost the belt but will also be signed up to an Adult Entertainer contract that will mean they have to star in a hardcore porn gang bang movie.
The lights in the arena dim and with ominous music playing the cell structure is lowered from the ceiling to the ground, surrounding the ring and it’s immediate area. Then Selena’s music hits and the raven haired former World Champion emerges and strides purposefully to the cell, she is in a black, silk robe that she pulls off to reveal the plain, black, two piece bikini she will fight in. No frills, no extras, she is here only to fight and re-capture the title she spent so long striving for only to drop it on her first defence.
Then we have a surprise as Taylor’s music hits, because it is not Taylor Swift that emerges but it is in fact Katy Perry! Katy had a serious rivalry with Taylor but the now blonde Miss Perry would appear to have forgotten that as she drops to her knees and bows forward as the World Champion eventually emerges. Clearly they have made up and this is shown as Taylor indicates that Katy should get up and the two share a long hug before Katy kisses Taylor good luck and they walk to the cell hand in hand. This development shocks everyone as Katy hasn’t been seen for a while after her terrible losing streak and no one thought she and Taylor could be friends but Katy helps Taylor remove her silver robe and reveals the reflective silver bra and shorts the long legged Taylor will wear for this contest. Taylor hands over her belt and steps into the cell, whereupon the outside referee locks the door and the two combatants face each other in the ring as the in ring ref goes over the rules and stipulations. Katy stands outside the Cell and cheers for the champ.
The bell sounds and we are underway in this huge Main Event Championship match. Having been friends so long and having fought two long, hard matches in recent months both seem to know the other’s moves and that is shown in an opening exchange that is all technical wrestling with reverses and flips that see both end up facing the other again with no discernible advantage. They lock up again with a collar and elbow hold and it is the much taller Miss Swift that takes advantage and backs Selena right up into a corner and rather than breaking cleanly she hammers her knee up into Selena’s gut. It is the opening Taylor was looking for and she drives a reverse elbow into Selena’s unprotecting face then whips her across the ring into the opposite corner and as Selena staggers out levels her with a big boot to the face. However, Taylor follows that up by hitting the ropes and leaping for a legdrop but misses and lands on her own butt as Selena rolls out of the ring. Taylor is up and cursing and rubbing her ass and steps through the ropes to jump down at Selena. Selena stiff arms her away and from there the two of them start trading punches and slaps and chops as the crowd cheer them on.
A scratch to the eyes gets Taylor the advantage and she grabs a handful of Selena’s hair and goes to ram her face into the mesh of the cell caged wall but Selena gets her hands up on time to block her heads progress and flings her elbow out into Taylor’s throat. That sends the champion reeling back, coughing and spluttering and Selena follows up with a kick to her midsection then dropping her with a clothesline on the floor. She stoops to lift a still struggling Taylor to her knees and pulls her over to the cage wall and viciously rubs her face back and forth on the mesh. When she finally relents it is only to back up a bit and run forward and slam her boot into Taylor’s head, driving her right into the wire. The camera outside the Cell captures perfectly that Taylor Swift has been busted wide open and is bleeding from her forehead already. Selena smiles at the damage she has wrought to her former friend before hauling her up to her feet and Irish whipping face first into the cage wall at the far side of the cell. Taylor crashed into the mesh and was held up by it for a moment before dropping slowly to her knees. Selena followed up with a run and dropkick to the back of Taylor’s head that again slammed her bloody forehead into the steel mesh. As she got up though she was distracted by Katy Perry throwing a cup of beer she had stolen from a ringside fan through the cage to soak Selena’s face. Selena is shocked by this and turns to remonstrate with Katy and Taylor takes her chance to literally crawl away and under the ring. By the time Selena turns her attention back to her opponent there is no sign of the Champion.
Selena slaps the apron in frustration, feeling she had the upper hand and had now lost it and turned to glare at Katy and point at her and warn her to stay out of this before kneeling down and going under the ring herself. Almost immediately that Selena was in there Taylor emerged from the other side clutching a folded, metal chair and stood waiting for her opponent to emerge. After a pause Selena crawled out where she had gone in and she too was grabbing a metal chair! They glared at each other then ran around the ringside towards each other and simultaneously swung their chair and smashed them together hard. Having negated each other’s shot they swung again and again. Finally the duelling chairs ended as instead of swinging her chair Taylor kicked Selena in the crotch then lifted her chair and cracked it down on Selena’s skull. Selena dropped her chair and slumped to her knees allowing Taylor to raise her chair again (what a sight it made with her own blood spilling down her face) and smash it down on Selena’s head so hard that it actual bent the flat seat of the chair!
With her challenger flat on the floor Taylor felt at her face and when her hand came away bloody was clearly enraged and resolved that turnabout was fair, she pulled Selena up to her knees, dragged her over to the mesh wall and did to her exactly what Selena had done to her – grated her forehead bloody by grinding it back and forth across the mesh, only she did it longer and harder and Selena’s face was an even bloodier mess than Taylor’s when she eventually stopped. Taylor called to Katy and Katy obediently came around on the outside of the cage and passed a thin, leather belt through the mesh to Taylor. Taylor then held Selena up on her feet and pushed chunks of her hair through the mesh and instructed Katy to grab them and hold them, keeping Selena up by her hair while Taylor stepped back, uncurled the belt then proceeded to viciously whip her former best friend’s back repeatedly. After the fourth lash Selena came alive and struggled but with Katy’s hold on her hair on the other side of the cage she had no escape and just had to stand there and take the beating. Eventually the outside referee got over there and literally had to haul Katy away from the cell but by then the damage was done and Selena’s creamy white back was striped red raw with lash marks. She made no move to prevent Taylor pulling off Selena’s bra top and then Taylor looped the belt over Selena’s head and pulled it tight around her throat, choking her immediately.
Selena dropped to her knees and gasped and tried desperately to get her hands at the belt as Taylor stood behind and pulled the other end of the belt with all her might. Blood was dripping down both women’s faces as they struggled hard. Finally, Taylor put her foot behind Selena’s head and instead of pulling back stamped forward and drove Selena’s face down into the concrete floor. She lay unmoving as Taylor finished the task of stripping her nude by hauling off her bikini bottoms.
You would think that Taylor would look to finish the contest at that point but no, instead she reached under the ring and pulled out a folded up wooden table and slid it into the ring. She set the table in the ring then slid out and dragged a pretty lifeless Selena up and into the ring then lifted her up and set her down sitting on the top turnbuckle of the ring. She then climbed the turnbuckles and went to hook her arm over Selena for a superplex from the top aiming to drop her through the table. As she went to cinch it in though Selena found the energy to block it by holding the ropes and managed to head butt Taylor’s face to break the attempt then as Taylor felt her face Selena wrapped her arms around her, stood unsteadily up and leapt up and off, turning round to deliver a belly-to-belly suplex off the top turnbuckle and crashing through the table, absolutely destroying it in the process!
The crowd went crazy at that impact and as Selena eventually recovered and crawled over to drape her arm across Taylor for the ONE. TWO. THR… Taylor kicked out at the last possible second. Selena slapped the mat in frustration and argued with the referee that it should have been a three as she turned back to her foe Taylor had flapped her arm out to her side, grabbed a piece of the smashed table and blindly swung it at Selena, catching her on the head and dropping her. Taylor slowly crawled away from the wreckage and pulled herself up by the ropes and stepped through them, looking to get away. Unbeknownst to her Selena had got up, waited until Taylor was standing on the apron then ran at her and slammed a running forearm into Taylor that catapulted her off the apron to slam into the cage wall before dropping down to the floor.
Wow, that was a hard fall to take and Taylor just lays in a crumpled ball against the cage wall. Outside the cell Katy kneeled down and tried to encourage her to get up but is dissuaded as Selena hops down from the ring and spits through the cage right in Katy’s face! Katy recoils away and Selena starts to lay in a series of hard kicks and stomps to her downed opponent. She gets her foot right up against Taylor’s face and presses the other side into the wire mesh, grinding her heel in before stamping down on it. She picks Taylor up and in quite the show of strength hoists her up onto her shoulder and charges forward looking to ram Taylor face first into the opposite cage wall. At the last moment she loses her grip and Taylor slips down behind her and helps propel Selena face first into the cage wall. Oh! That was a brutal collision and Taylor forces herself up to her feet behind Selena grabs her blood soaked hair, takes a grip and pounds her face again and again into the cage. The camera outside the cell captures this up close and really Selena Gomez’s face is just awash with her blood by now. Taylor speaks to Katy through the cell and Katy lifts up a rucksack, flings it on her shoulders and starts to climb the Hell In The Cell structure. She nearly loses her grip and falls but saves herself and keeps climbing up to the roof of the cell.
Back to the action and Taylor grabs the chairs from earlier and chucks them into the ring then drags Selena over and rolls her into the ring amid the debris of the destroyed table. Taylor then pulls Selena’s head between her legs, flips her up holds her for a powerbomb then drops her right onto the chairs on the mat. Selena howls in agony and arches her back at the impact. By then Katy has made it to the roof of the cell and carefully walks over to the central bar, she shrugs off the backpack and takes out a long length of white rope, she feeds it through the roof of the cell and lowers it to where Taylor waits. There is a loop at the end of the rope and Taylor puts it over Selena’s ankles and tightens it then shouts for Katy to pull. It’s a struggle but Katy pulls Selena up off the mat to dangle and manages to tie the other end of the rope off on the ceiling. The referee is pretty much helpless because there can be no DQ in a Hell In A Cell match and can only look on helpless and Taylor first mocks the dangling Selena then picks up one of the steel chairs and proceeds to slam in over twenty chair shots to the helpless Miss Gomez!
Taylor swings the chair like a baseball bat and some of the shots are absolutely brutal. Selena as she hung upside down tried to block some of them with her arms but before long that was futile and after one particularly hard shot to her shoulder area her arms just dropped down and the four or five shots that followed were not in anyway blocked. Finally Taylor held the chair aloft and roared, the crowd booed, Selena just hung there like a piece of meat, her features covered with her own blood. Taylor rolled out of the ring and pulled out a second folding table and set it up beneath Selena then unsteadily stood up on it, once there she wrapped her arms around the unmoving Selena in a piledriver position and shouted up to Katy to untie the rope, she did and when Selena dropped Taaylor went with it to piledriver her right through the table to the mat! The fans chanted “Holy Shit! Holy Shot!” for a small time but soon went quiet as it was clear that Selena was completely out of it. Taylor slowly picked herself up and planted her foot on selena’s chest and demanded the referee counted.
ONE.TWO.THREE.
The winner and still World Heavyweight Champion is TAYLOR SWIFT in 19:11. She sneers down at her completely oblivious former friend and kicks her contemptuously. Elsewhere Katy Perrry is now clambering down the side of the Cell. Referees and EMT’s enter the cage through the door and tend to the fallen Selena and at least it looks like Taylor won’t use her usual tactic of using a strap on the loser. She does however, after an excited Katy has handed her the title belt, grab a microphone and address Selena and the crowd.
“Hey Sel! No luck tonight. And just to give all these folks and idea of what you’re going to be up to this next month here’s a few mock ups me and Katy have done!”
Laughing they point to the big screen where a slideshow of Selena Gomez porn fakes plays out, neatly reminding everyone of the forfeit for the loser of this match, that they will film a hardcore, porn gang bang and we’ll see highlights of that film at next month’s War Games PPV.