Kitty vs Glitter by: B-Zero [email protected]

Story:

"Public access channel 36 had never been known for great ratings. It mainly played serials from the 1930's and '40's and quite generic political and religious shows. Seeing the popularity of mixed wrestling online,however, the station's program director decided to clear up the Saturday midnight to 1am timeslot on the station and put in a mixed wrestling show. They rented out a place downtown and furnished it with a sort of pale pink carpet and four couches arranged to function much like the turnbuckles of a wrestling ring. The station hired a couple of strippers who had been in quite a few mud wrestling matches in their time, to provide commentary and one more to serve as a ref. The two commentator sat at a side table with 4 monitors showing the views from each of the 4 cameras filming.

The following is a transcipt of the first match

GLITTER: Greetings everyone and welcome to the launch episode of "Mixed Wrestling: Unhinged"! I'm Glitter. (flips her hair and blows a kiss to the crowd) You may have seen me at Mr. Ecstatics, Strip Realm, or in my current day job at Ho Farm. Next to me sits my fellow employee at Ho Farm and the winner of Ho Farm's 2001 Mudwrestling Championship tournament, Kittie Sparkle.

KITTIE SPARKLE: That's right,Glitter. We have a few fantastic matches for everyone tonight, so lets just get right down to it. Officiating tonight's matches is a fabulous exotic dancer that you really should check out some time during her shift over at the farm from 5:30pm-11pm, Thursday through Sunday..........BritneeeeEEeeeee!

(Britnee waves to the cameras in her long blonde pigtails and schoolgirl outfit)

GLITTER: Ok...now on to the first match!

(Aqua's "Barbie girl" plays over the loud speaker as Candy makes her way to the ring. She's dressed in her in a plush pink bikini top and a shiny hot pink thong bikini. She has medium long blonde hair. )

KITTIE SPARKLE: Now making her way to the ring, weighing in at 111 and standing at 5 feet, 2 inches tall.....Candyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(The lights flash on and off for a second)

GLITTER: and....now making his way to the ring weighing in at 205 pounds and standing 5 feet, 7 inches tall.............B-Zarro!!!!!!!!!!!

(The Smashing Pumpkin's "Bullet with Butterfly wings" plays as B-Zarro enters with a crew-cut in a rather plain light grey t-shirt and a pair of simple white boxers. Both wrestlers are barefoot The two wrestlers step between the 4 couches and pace around a little.)

GLITTER: and...it looks like this match is on!!!!!!

KITTIE SPARKLE: Candy locks on a quick headlock........

GLITTER: That may not be the smartest move this early...

KITTIE SPARKLE: B-Zarro is fresh....that hold won't even phase him.

GLITTER: I guess we were right! B-Zarro takes Candy to the carpet......hard!!!!!!!!

KITTIE SPARKLE: It's her own fault for being careless.

GLITTER: Wow! What a combo!!!!!!!!! B-Zarro has a tight claw on Candy's right breast and the other hand firmly around her throat! We could be looking at a VERY quick victory here!!!

KITTIE SPARKLE: Britnee rushes over to check Candy!

GLITTER: B-Zarro brings Candy to her feet by the hair!

KITTIE SPARKLE: What's he plannin'?

GLITTER: Candy with two quick knees to the crotch! Bob hits the carpet back-first and Candy is free of the hold that could have very easily put her away.

KITTIE: Fast Sleeperhold locked in by Candy! It's still a bit early.....she hasn't even worn him down.

GLITTER: Candy lets a stunned B-Zarro drop to the canvas and straddles him!

KITTIE: Candy attempts to lower her huge chest onto B-Zarro's face for a breast smother!

GLITTER:He blocks it with his hands!

KITTIE: It was a nice try, but Candy stuffs his face into her gigantic chest,anyway!!!!

GLITTER: It doesn't look good for B-Zarro.

KITTIE: He's struggling and squirming like hell!

GLITTER: B-Zarro's fading, folks...looks like he could be out!

KITTIE: Britnee runs over to check B-Zarro.

GLITTER: She lifts his hand....it falls.....she lifts it........it falls....she lifts it.........he was just barely able to keep it up that time!

KITTIE: Looks like Candy is switching gears. She locks a dazed B-Zarro in a full nelson!

GLITTER: Oh...I doubt she'll be able to get a submission with that...look how big he is....

KITTIE: Ya....but it's all fat.

GLITTER: Nope...that's not gonna work out for her.

KITTIE: Candy pushes B-Zarro to the carpet....

GLITTER:...Hand Smother!!!!!!!

KITTIE: A devious hand smother by Candy!!!!

GLITTER: She's cutting off his air with both hands....he won't last much longer!!!!

KITTIE: Candy decides to flip him over on his back!

GLITTER: See...now...she could have had him with that smother!!!

KITTIE: Camel Clutch!!! Candy locks on a Camel Clutch!!!

GLITTER: He's in serious pain! I don't think he even knows where he is right now!!!!!!

KITTIE: Britnee asks him if he quits!

GLITTER: No deal.....this is one hell of a wrestler!!!

KITTIE: Candy rolls him over and presses her knee against his throat!!!!

GLITTER: She's going for the kill!!!

KITTIE: Damn right, she is!

GLITTER: How is he staying concious?

KITTIE:Candy glances at the nearest couch with a very cruel look in her eye!!!

GLITTER: Candy stands up on the couch!

KITTIE: She jumps off!!!!

GLITTER: Flying legdrop to the face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KITTIE: I think she was aiming for the throat!

GLITTER: That would have doubtlessly ended the match!!!

KITTIE: That's one sick move!!!

GLITTER: You think that's sick...you should see B-Zarro's finisher!!

KITTIE: Honestly, I doubt I'll have a chance to this match!! I might never see it, after Candy gets done with him.

GLITTER: Candy locks on a tight sleeperhold!!!!!!! Oh....GOODnight!!!!!!!!!

KITTIE: He's going off into dreamland REAL quick!!!

GLITTER: Candy's giggling!!! This is one cruel girl!!!

KITTIE: Britnee lifts B-Zarro's hand....it falls......she lifts it...it falls....she lifts it....it stays up!!!!!!!

GLITTER: That's inhuman!!!!!

KITTIE: Candy drops him to the mat...looks like she's going for a facesit....

GLITTER: She straddles him...

KITTIE: HE FLIPS HER!!!

GLITTER: Oh my god!!!!!

KITTIE: B-Zarro is breathing very heavily and looks quite groggy, but he manages to lock on a weak sleeperhold!

GLITTER: She's not getting out of it!!!

KITTIE: Apparently, Candy can give a little more than she can take!!!!!!!

GLITTER: Yeah...she's often been called the Brock Lesnar of the female wrestling circuit.

KITTIE:She actually looks like she's fading!!!!

GLITTER: TAKE HER OUT, B-ZARRO!!!!!!!!

KITTIE: Now....Glitter...we're supposed to stay.....unbiased!

GLITTER: B-Zarro drags her up to the couch by her hair!

KITTIE::.......he straddles her back!!!

GLITTER: He's smashing her head into the arm of the couch!

KITTIE: 1......2......3........4.......5.....6..7,8,9........10!!!!!!!!!!

GLITTER: He rolls her off the couch onto her back!

KITTIE: He straddles her........DOUBLE BREAST CLAW!!!!!!!!

GLITTER: Ooooo...that's painful!!!!!

KITTIE: She's screaming her ass off!!!

GLITTER: Brtinee asks her if she quits...

KITTIE: Candy shakes her head "no"...

GLITTER:He puts his hands around Candy's neck..

KITTIE: He's gonna choke her out!!!

GLITTER: Britnee makes him break the chokehold.

KITTIE: He traps Candy in another sleeper!!

GLITTER: Looks like she might tap!!!

KITTIE: B-Zaro is just sadistic..he tosses her to the carpet!!

GLITTER: He locks her in a camel clutch!!!!

KITTIE: There doesn't seem to be a lot of power behind that one..

GLITTER: Well.....he doesn't have any of muscle...but at this point, anything could put her out!

KITTIE:B-Zarro drops her to the carpet and rolls her onto her back!

GLITTER: He climbs up on the couch......

KITTIE: Elbow drop to Candy's belly!!!!!!!!!

GLITTER: B-Zarro plops his ass right down on Candy's face! He's going for his finisher!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KITTIE: Oh my god!!! Do you smell that?????!????

GLITTER: It's B-Zarro's Supersonic fart lock!!!!! He's farting in Candy's face!!!!!!!!!!

KITTIE: Ew!

GLITTER: Brtinee is checking Candy.....

KITTIE: She lifts her hand...it falls.........she's totally limp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My god!!! What a disgusting hold!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GLITTER: The winner by K.O........B-Zarro!!!!!!!!!!!



The public access show became the most popular in the channel's history!"